male only Men: Telling "the Guys" About Your Surgery

[OneManWolfpack 180]

Fellas,

I'm getting sleeved in just over 2 weeks. Doing pretty good pre-op so far, but had a major slip up this weekend when I invited some buddies over for football. I'm back on track now, but it got me to thinking just what I'd tell the guys when I'll be around them soon eating practically nothing and sipping on Protein shakes and broth every quarter.

I've seen plenty of topics on this site about whether to tell your spouse/partner/GF/co-workers, etc. But what about the guys? You know what I'm talking about.

Here's how I envision that conversation goes down:

Me: Guys, I want to talk to you all about something.

Buddy #1: We know, your fantasy team sucks. Quit bitching about it!

Me: No, not that. Something serious.

Buddy #2: Is it cancer?

Me: No, nothing like that.

Buddy #3: Then it's not serious. Put your nuts back on

Me: No seriously guys. Listen, I'm planning on having WLS

Buddies #1, 2, 3, and 4: .......................(stunned silence) ..................................................

Me: Um, guys... Hello? what do you guys think?

Buddies #1, 2, 3, and 4: ............................(more stunned silence)..........................................

Me: I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I've decided to go through with it. It's the best decision for me, my health, and to get my life back

Buddy #4: I didn't realize you had a vagina

Me: Hey, that's not fair.

Buddy #2 (to Buddy #4): Yeah, that's not right dude.

Me: Thanks for the voice of support man

Buddy #2: No, I mean, I think we already knew you had a vagina.

Me: Uncalled for dude.

Buddy #1 (to Buddies #2 and 4): Guys, lay off him.

Me: (Not saying thanks, just waiting for the punchline....)

Buddy #1: I mean, it's probably just his time of the month.

Me: (And there it is). All right, you guys suck. I'm outta here.

Buddy #3 (yelling out as I leave): Hey, give Randy Jackson my best, dog!

DOOR SLAMS SHUT. <END SCENE>

So I ask you men: What have you told the fellas about your surgery and weight loss?

[twoolley 141]

I'm going in for surgery Wednesday and I told my buddies about 3 weeks ago. They asked me why I was doing this, will it for sure help, is it dangerous, and when can I start drinking again. They were supportive.

I can't even imagine having the above conversation you just scripted with my friends. If I could imagine it, I don't think they would be my friends.

-Tom

[Lloydthumper 70]

I just told them and my buddies sound alot like yours. But I started with guys I'm going to be gone for a couple weeks I'm having surgery. That stopped the smart ass remakes for a moment until after I told them what it was. They ask me why and I told them I wanted to live it see grand kids and I'm not going to make it like I am now. Had one (which he's terrified of needles) said no bodies cuttin on me I don't care how big I am. But they were actually supportive.

[Angelmom 30]

Sounds like you need some new friends, maybe?...especially when they cut to "demoting" you to being female for having the procedure.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I've seen plenty of topics on this site about whether to tell your spouse/partner/GF/co-workers, etc. But what about the guys? You know what I'm talking about.

Here's how I envision that conversation goes down:

Me: Guys, I want to talk to you all about something.

Buddy #1: We know, your fantasy team sucks. Quit bitching about it!

Me: No, not that. Something serious.

Buddy #2: Is it cancer?

Me: No, nothing like that.

Buddy #3: Then it's not serious. Put your nuts back on

Me: No seriously guys. Listen, I'm planning on having WLS

Buddies #1, 2, 3, and 4: .......................(stunned silence) ..................................................

Me: Um, guys... Hello? what do you guys think?

Buddies #1, 2, 3, and 4: ............................(more stunned silence)..........................................

OneMan

ok, i'm calm now, i stopped laughing, I'm wiping my eyes, i'm ok now

your one way possible true discussion with yourself/buddies was "kindof" amusing

i am laughing w/you NOT at you, promise...ok, on to your good question

how you guys approach others concerning your WLS, people might respond differently, probably is harder/touchier subject for you to tell your buddies

many of us, choose not to tell any one cuz it is too uncomfortable for them

IMO - if you are telling your friends/family, you don't/won't know what to expect to hear from them

i don't think it matters if you are a guy or gal - just approach the subject/slowly/carefully, and see where the beer falls

you might get some jokes from some of your buddies, i don't know - but after the dust settles, you are talking to someone you are friends with.

if you think some of your buddies will make too much fun at the situation, don't tell them - won't hurt their feelings

theres no one you have to tell period. if you know someone is going to act/respond in a bad way, there not worth telling. but,, if these guys or whomever you tell are your friends/family they will listen and respect any decision you have made

everyone might not be in favor of your decision, but thats ok, their entitled to their own thoughts as are you

guys are different with certain personal stuff, they feel funny talking about WLS

maybe you could get other, better responses in the "man room"

best wishes

good luck

[PdxMan 4,292]

Ladies, before y'all start telling the OP that he needs new friends, you have to remember that men and women communicate differently. This is the means by which a lot of men tell each other they care. The more cr@p they give, the more they actually care. What you are witnessing in the above dialog is actually a very healthy, albeit sophamoric conversation between caring friends.

Llyod nailed the response.

[IsB 209]

I'm not planning on telling them anything. Nothing good can possibly come from telling them. They're not even going to notice for 6 months anyway.

[Lloydthumper 70]

Sounds like you need some new friends' date=' maybe?...especially when they cut to "demoting" you to being female for having the procedure.[/quote']

Evidently you haven't spent a lot of time around kids I mean Men. That just how some of us communicate. If I'm breathing I'm picking or cuttin up life's to short to be to serious. Just me though.

[dar1983 751]

ok. I'm not a guy, and should butt out, but this was too funny NOT to comment on! I know you may have exaggerated some to make your point, and I get it. I have a feeling an smart quips and affectionate ribbing will cease once they see you attracting all the hot girls when you go out!

Good luck!

[Ready4success 380]

I applaud you for taking the step and putting yourself out there. I work around a lot of men, and those types of comments are so common in conversation. Good luck to you, and I think they'll be happy to have you healthy and around for a long time, only to rag on you.

[Justine13 264]

**giggle**

Sorry- im creeping on your post and you are asking the guys. Great question and It sounds like you actually have some great friends with great humor . Good luck. I'm certain you have and will get some good responses. Maybe you need to be prepared with the most witty, sarcastic, blow them out of their seats comeback to what they might say :-). I have no idea what that may be - ok men- Your turn . Heeee Heee. Thanks for the giggle. (believe me I do understand its a serious topic)

[Jessica9190 127]

I totally get it. My husband has the same kind of friends. My husband has gained quite a bit of weight since we got married and it's only been a year and some of the stuff his friends say I think it's just rude but he says "we're guys that's how we talk to each other". He's been completely supportive about me having surgery but one day I asked him if its something he'd ever consider (I wasn't pushing him to do it just wanted his thought) anyway he said, "hell no!" Probably for the same kinds of issues he would have to deal with Like "he's less of a man" bla bla bla. Anyway I'm sure you were wanting guys' opinions so ill shut up now.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Sounds like you need some new friends' date=' maybe?...especially when they cut to "demoting" you to being female for having the procedure.[/quote']

Naw.....guys talk like that. We don't take it personal.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

When I told the guys, the responses I got we're either "deer in the headlights" look, or they would tell me that their mother/sister in law/aunt/sister had WLS and now looks great. It's all been positive.

Now they are getting nervous because soon I will no longer be "the fat friend."

[longhorn 11]

Great simulated conversation. I think I really like your buddies!!

My recommendation. Don't tell them a darn thing. They don't need to know. You don't need them to know. And based on how you describe them I doubt they will ever even notice you are not eating the beer and wings. They will be clueless which is fine. You aint looking for empathy for them. Just fun. You can get the empathy from your wife or mom if you really want it. That's the path I took and it worked out just fine. Nobody ever noticed or asked a thing. And after I had dropped the weight they just thought I had got my inner athlete on cause I was running all the time.

BTW.....we're the 3 best friends that anyone ever had, we're the 3 best friends that anyone ever had. Love the username!