My Husband Thinks I'm Copping Out

[Scaredy Cat 92]

I'll admit, I don't really like exercise (yet). I've dieted on and off since I was a teenager and just like the rest of you, it always came back. How do I help him realize that I'm not copping out!!

[swizzly 901]

Unless he's actively pushing you not to get surgery or trying to prevent you doing it, I wouldn't bother trying to convince him of too much of anything. He's entitled to his own opinion and it doesn't necessarily reflect at all on your own motivations or needs. I would say if you do get the surgery, his opinion will change by watching what you have to do in terms of still choosing proper foods and exercise.

Good luck!

[swizzly 901]

PS -- it's a fairly well-established fact that weight loss is 80% diet and only up to 20% exercise. Meaning you can change your diet (or get WLS to help you do so) and lose weight without ever exercising at all. People will get up in your face about it LOL...but it's totally do-able. NB: I didn't start working out till nine months post-op, for personal reasons. I still lost just fine.

[LaBelle509 326]

I gave up explaining to people why I did this. I agree with Swizzly, time will show him there is nothing "easy" about this route. It's a major and drastic approach to weight loss. But I will add, exercise plays a great role if you want to take full advantage of the procedure. Find something you like.

For me it's walking. It's easy, simple, effective. I never liked to exercise, because I got tired so fast, could not do much, and felt so self- conscious at the gym. But the more I lose, the more I am able to do, the more I want to do. I put on my favorite music and just get going on the treadmill or the park.

Good luck on your journey.

[LALH62 1]

I don't know why people think this is the easy way out...it's not! It is the last resort for those of us who have struggled with every diet on the market. I had my VSG a year ago and I have never regretted it I have learned how to eat out at restaurants, although in the beginning it was very difficult. I mention this because, that is my main entertainment with friends and family. We all know that food is a major part to most people's entertainment! I have learned how painful it can be if you over eat...and now I don't. But I have to admit, on the whole this was a very easy venture for me....not all people are as lucky. Maybe your husband needs to read some of those topics. My biggest problem now....I still get hungry more often than I should.....So nothing is 100% and we still have to work on watching what we eat forever, if we wish to remain at the weight the sleeve has allowed us to get to. Good luck with your surgery, if you decide on it, and remember it is not the easy way out, nor are you copping out!

[swizzly 901]

I have to admit, the 'easy way out' thing is not such a big deal for me. Because, for ME, this has totally 110% been the easy way out -- I've had zero complications or problems, apart from never losing my hunger (at least head hunger hasn't been a huge deal). The phrase that comes to mind when someone says 'easy way out' is 'so what'? What is inherently 'good' about doing things the hard (and ineffective!!) way?? There's no virtue in effort for effort's sake, and there is tons of sniffy judgment embedded in the idea that one shouldn't have an easy time of it -- after all, we're fatties, we DESERVE to be punished, right? So yeah: NO. I reject that 100%. Easy way out=I SO deserve it after all the years of the hard way totally not working. Anyone who doesn't like it is of course welcome to their opinion, but I'm not going to share it with them LOL.

[Scaredy Cat 92]

Thanks so much - you're making me feel so much better about this decision!!

[Mich grand 35]

I'll admit' date=' I don't really like exercise (yet). I've dieted on and off since I was a teenager and just like the rest of you, it always came back. How do I help him realize that I'm not copping out!![/quote']

I bet he is tall and thin and can eat whatever he wants without gaining an ounce! Am I close? This is a very personal choice, you are not doing it for him you are doing it for you. I presume you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. His support would be great but in the end---you are doing this for YOU!

[Lissa 2,631]

Your husband's opinion will change once he sees the results you get. Mine told me that I should "just" eat right and exercise before surgery. I'm 13 months post-op, have lost 120 pounds and a few days ago we saw a woman who was probably 450-500 pounds. His first words to me about her were "She needs the surgery". Eventually, your hubby will figure out that there comes a point where medical intervention is not only good, but necessary.

You do what you know is right for you and let him watch you transform yourself! Good luck!!

[Scaredy Cat 92]

I think I will have him go to the next support group meeting with me even if I have to drag him there! LOL

Yeah, he's 5'8" and 160 lbs. he walks ALOT. He gets upset that I don't go with him. I try to explain that at 260, it's too much of a struggle and my back hurts and I can't walk as fast as him. At only 5'0",I'm taking 5 steps for every one of his!

My dream is to get thin and healthy enough where he has a hard time keeping up with me!

Thanks so much for the encouragement. I do hope he comes around.

[drexelgirl 45]

I gave up as well. If they aren't supportive I say gain 100lbs and tell me how ru going to lose it. They won't so zip it. There are videos I posted in another link. Educate them and come online here we all get it

http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/caught-red-handed-your-most-cringe-worthy-health-problems-revealed?video=14910

[MommaMeg01 35]

I have to admit, the 'easy way out' thing is not such a big deal for me. Because, for ME, this has totally 110% been the easy way out -- I've had zero complications or problems, apart from never losing my hunger (at least head hunger hasn't been a huge deal). The phrase that comes to mind when someone says 'easy way out' is 'so what'? What is inherently 'good' about doing things the hard (and ineffective!!) way?? There's no virtue in effort for effort's sake, and there is tons of sniffy judgment embedded in the idea that one shouldn't have an easy time of it -- after all, we're fatties, we DESERVE to be punished, right? So yeah: NO. I reject that 100%. Easy way out=I SO deserve it after all the years of the hard way totally not working. Anyone who doesn't like it is of course welcome to their opinion, but I'm not going to share it with them LOL.

AMEN GIRL U SAID U MADE ME LAUGH CRY THIS IS SO TRUE!!!!

[alsublett 29]

my husband was against the surgery... period. He said that if I wanted to change, change - but he loved me the way I was

okay, that sounds sweet - but I found it rude and unsupportive. I had tried EVERYTHING. I had so many things starting to go wrong that my body was fighting against itself. My doctor said that she did not think it was possible for me to do it alone...

now I am 8 weeks out, 30 pounds down... I am walking and jogging 3-5 miles every day. I am LOVING life.. he is somewhat complimentary... but you know what? Who gives a damn.

I feel great... I am looking better... and as a mother of three, I finally did something ONLY FOR MYSELF.

there will be people who do not understand what you are doing or why, that is why you have this board... it is important that you are healthy... and it will benefit everyone around you.

ignore those who have opinions... stand up, do it for YOURSELF

[Banned member 320]

I don't know about anyone else but I know when I was laying in the hospital bed in pain barfing my brains out (not literally), I was envisioning someone coming up to me and saying " You (I) took the easy way out". I envisioned myself literally punching them in the face lol. IMO the easy way out would of been to remain obese or continue crash dieting, heck I could eat whatever I wanted. Of course weight gain sucks but remaining obese would of been a lot easier than having to change my diet through surgery and gosh don't make me vent about my recovery lol. Surgery was definitely my last attempt at losing weight and the thought of possibly dying and never seeing my kids ever again was by no means the easy way out. Unfortunately some people do die from wls and I'm pretty confident in saying that most people that end up having wls, they have years of crash dieting under their belt or yrs of trying to change there way of eating. *I have no idea what sent me on a tangent lol. I should be in bed*

OP I wouldn't worry about convincing your husband or anyone for that matter of why you are having the surgery. This is your life and you have to do what you feel is right for yourself. He may change his view after you have surgery and start losing the weight or he may not. My husband seems very ENTHUSIASTIC about me losing the weight and I'm like huh? He seems over joyed with having me lose the weight but I guess he kept those feelings secret from me because I though he'd be scared of losing me if I became skinny lol. Men are weird

[kryssaboo 11]

Ask him if he thinks using nicotine Patches or medication to quit smoking is a cop out. Lung cancer is serious, but then so are heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, breast cancer, kidney failure and the myriad of other obesity related illnesses.

Or perhaps consider that he is male and *may* be expressing his anxiety regarding the surgery and his concerns for you in what most of us would consider a completely crap way .