I Just Chickened Out

[Clove90 7]

I completely understand. I just had my surgery Thursday and up until I got into the operating room and got the first drugs, I was scared. I was afraid that I was being selfish and taking money away from my family. I was afraid I would die and leave my children with no mom. I was afraid that I would have some horrible complication and be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and a burden on everyone. I have a morbid imagination obviously!

I was feeling awful the first afternoon after surgery but survived amazingly. Second day was a little better (lots of nausea) and it has gotten better every day this week. Tomorrow will be one week and besides being bored with my liquid diet, I am doing well. I jump off and on the scale daily and am seeing numbers I haven't seen in a few years. I'm not thrilled with facing the holidays and not being able to eat what I could before but I am going to have a killer outfit and I will be able to play with the kids like I haven't in years. So i hope this is a good story to counter all those icky stories you have been reading and know that someone else is a worrier too but so far so good!

[Webchickadee 716]

Nicci, we "talked" about this on another post the other day, but I'm going to "quote" it here:

Hi Nicci,

You are still quite young (30) so compared to me, your "impending time" for health stressors may be less than mine (I'm 43).

And, of course, I don't know if your family has a history of serious health problems such as cardiac issues, hypertension, diabetes, cancer, etc.

Any one of those is life threatening and many of them seem to come as a "package" to those of us who are morbidly obese. Our weight really does "drag us down', if not sooner, than later.

My starting weight was nearly identical to your current weight, and I'm very close to your same height. I WISH I had had the option to have the VSG done at age 30! I could have had a much different last 13 years indeed!

We have a family history of cancer (breast, bladder and brain), hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes, strokes, etc. I am healthy now, but if I don't get "hold" of things NOW, I am in for a world of hurt in the next decade. And it only gets worse from there....

So I had the VSG done in May, 2012. And I am now close to 80 lbs down (in less than 5 months) with another 100 or so to go! I feel great! I'm off my asthma meds (4 of them!) since surgery. I can exercise without shortness of breath. I'm down from a size 26/28 (or 4X/5X) to a 18/20 (or XL) now, and really looking forward to maybe being a size 10 or 8 (and maybe smaller!) when I hit goal.

Yes, there are risks. But the % of people who develop surgical complications or post-op complications with the VSG is VERY VERY small. The % of morbidly obese people who develop serious, significant and often life-threatening health complications is VERY HIGH.

So you're not "playing it safe". You're just putting off the time when the health problems will come. Now, you have a small risk. Later, you have a HUGE chance for life-long debilitating illness(es).

I made sure I was very well informed about the possible complications. I prepared my Will, put my affairs in order and made sure that things were going to be taken care of (as best as possible) should anything go wrong. Then I got on a plane (by myself), flew to Mexico and completed the best decision of my life.

Give yourself the chance to spend the next 50 years of your life having an active, full and healthy lifestyle with your children and future grandchildren. Don't let your body hold your spirit and your heart back.

And while you definitely need to be completely informed and knowledgeable before you make this decision......don't let a few bad outcomes scare you away from the opportunity to change you life for the better. You will see that the number of AMAZING outcomes far far outweighs the poor ones.

Do you research, get comfortable with your surgeon's experience, training, background and work environment. Get yourself tested "six ways to Sunday" to make sure you are a good healthy candidate for surgery and if there are any issues, starting working on the ones you have control over NOW, so you can come through the procedure as one of the success stories (like me!).

I know you can do this, and you will be so grateful the opportunity exists.

But above all, inform yourself and give everything you read a fair assessment. Then make your decision based on ALL the information. Not just the good and not just the bad.

Good luck!

I know you have your reasons for being afraid of surgery:

I have to admit I am quite emotional when it comes to the idea of ever being in the 100's again, needless to say what you just wrote to me brought tears to my eyes. My tiny (literally 90 lbs soaking wet) grandmother had her first heart attack when she was 42. My grandfather has high blood pressure, my mother has horrible Rheumatoid Arthritis, My father, although I believe his and everyone on his side of the family with health issues is related to drugs/alcohol, has diabetes (however his over weight brother who was never in to drugs also has type 2 diabetes from being so large). The only thing I have at this point is polycystic ovaries, minor asthma that only seems to act up when I am sick, and of course my ankle that I had 2 screws put in back in April of this year. I must also say thought that I was terrified when I awoke in the recovery room from my surgery in April because my heart took off racing, I believe it went up to 142, and as my nurse was rushing around in a panic I managed to get the heart rate under control on my own without any meds.....but the fact that it took off like that scares me a little. I have had 7 surgeries in my life (starting when I was 6, an appendectomy, T&A removal, leap procedure, closed ankle reduction, ankle fusion, gall bladder removal, then another ankle fusion when the first one didn't heal as planned.) and been put under two additional times when they were trying to find out what was wrong with me (they performed ERCP's and finally found the stupid gall stone stuck in my bile duct after I had my gall bladder out in 2005 and my condition still wasnt improving). I think I have always been scared before any surgery I have had and worried I would die...so this shouldn't be any different for me, right? I came out of all those just fine and should do the same here :-)

Don't let this stop you! Take the WONDERFUL advice you're getting here from so many people. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR! Let him/her know what your concerns are, and listen to what he/she has to say. BE INFORMED and have accurate information directly from knowledgeable professional sources, not online horror stories.

Give yourself a chance to get your life in control and enjoy your future with your spouse, your children and future grandchildren. Live your life to its fullest potential, and don't let your obesity hold you back because your anxiety and fear got the best of you!

[Rootman 1,101]

Sorry to hear it, it was a life changing decision for me - and quite literally SAVED my life.

No one can guarantee that something won't go wrong but it's almost a sure bet that something WILL go wrong if you don't lose the excess weight.

Talk it over with docs, loved ones, spiritual advisors, friends family - what have you. It's YOUR decision.

[Nicci 28]

Thanks guys...I am listening to ALL of you At 4:45pm I called my doc's office back and admitted to them I am scared and my fear was the reason I canceled. IDK if this is a "sign" of any kind BUT the receptionist totally understood and said that my appointment time was still available if I wanted to re-book it.....so I did. Tomorrow at 9am I will be going in to talk with the surgeon about all of this and letting her know all of my fears. The last surgery I had was just this past April, I had to have my ankle re-fused because it didn't heal right the first time. When I woke up in recovery my heart started to race on me and my nurse kinda scared me with the panic I could hear in her voice (she was yelling to the others "This one is going tachy! Mine is going tachy on me!" I kept asking her who was going tachy, if it was me? Finally she told me "Yes, you." so I bared down and took a deep breath, holding it for a few seconds and released it and my heart rate came back down to normal before she ever had the chance to get me any sort of meds. Not sure if that was just like that I came back to normal on my own or what but it freaked me out pretty good. Later I asked the doc about it and he said no one had mentioned it to him but that maybe I was just having a slight reaction to one of the anesthesia drugs? He wasn't completely sure what could have caused it....but this was orthopedics not GI).

[JMarshall 352]

Thanks for reconsidering your future. Here is some information on obesity. http://www.getamericafit.org/statistics-obesity-in-america.html

[Nicci 28]

Not trying to be mean, but what about the horror stories of people who died from their obesity? Were those not scary enough to chicken you out of being morbidly obese for the rest of your life?

Honestly no, I have been big my whole life and don't have diabetes or high cholesterol or high bp or anything life threatening like that, Aside from my weight I'm in excellent health.

[Pinky Green 260]

I had asthma, pre-diabetes, polycystic ovarian syndrome, and osteoarthritis in my knees before I decided to have surgery. After all the testing that the doctors did for the surgery I found out that my pre-diabetes had turned into diabetes, I had developed hypertension and I had a hypertension related heart disease (although the cardiologist said it should resolve when I lose weight). I should have done it years ago but I'm not sure my insurance would have paid for it then.

I'm looking forward to going to festivals this spring, going to the beach and living a long time.

[buckeye_girl40 203]

You can say that now , so did I , until a couple of years ago.... first it was high blood pressure , then Gerd , next came high cholesterol and finally pre diabetes reared its ugly head. I thought if I just diet some more.... exercise more I can lose the weight and make it go away.... but , that didn't happen... so now here I sit , pre op like you waiting for my surgery date to get here... I'll be the first to admit that I'm terrified of the unknown and all the what ifs that "could" happen, but after learning that I have a grandchild on the way and realizing that I have so much life that I want to live I decided to "cowboy up" and continue on with my journey. Life is a journey, not a destination... each minute is a precious gift from God.... remember it's okay to have fear and also remember that God is always with you and will always protect you

[mandyMO 67]

Not trying to be mean, but what about the horror stories of people who died from their obesity? Were those not scary enough to chicken you out of being morbidly obese for the rest of your life?

There are risks to everything we do. People die every day. A meteor could randomly fall out of the sky and hit your house while you're sleeping in your bed. Will that keep you from sleeping in your bed at night?

Don't give up!!! Make a list of what's important to you and why you wanted to have the surgery in the first place. Weigh the pros and cons. Take a serious look at where you will be in 5 years without having had the surgery and where you will be if you do have the surgery! IMO, the potential rewards far outweigh the risks.

Good luck with your decision!

she needs to read your memory verse at the bottom and trust in the lord

[prettysleeved1 173]

OP, I say don't commit yourself to anything you're not comfortable with. People can tell you horror stories, glory stories, what ifs, and shoulda' woulda' coulda' all day long. You have to be secure and confident with whatever you decide. If you talk to the doctor tomorrow and it still doesn't feel right, so be it. If you leave the office feeling great about it, so be it. But don't let what other people say (positive or negative) drive your decisions; especially not one like this.

[tigerbelle 328]

I agree with the posts about not doing anything you aren't comfortable with...I am glad you re-booked your appointment, though, because there is no harm in getting information to help you make your decision. I am petrified of surgery myself and have had some bad surgical experiences, but for me it is a choice of the greater risks of remaining morbidly obese v. surgical complication risks...not to influence you one way or the other, but I can relate also to some of the "older" people who have posted here...I turned 50 this year..when I was your age, I was obese but otherwise healthy...around age 40 I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and hypertension...now I have serious complications from not controlling my diabetes and from my excessive weight...I wont' go through the comprehensive list but the ones that are presenting the gravest risks for me right now are the slow healing of some wounds and skin infections, as well as poor circulation and swelling in my legs...but it has taken me 10 years plus the development of serious complications--as well as the threat of a toe amputation--to make the decision to proceed with WLS...you will make the decision that is best for you in your own time

[Nate 292]

[imworthit 156]

I get it' date=' it's terrifying!

Do it anyway. Do it anyway!

You will not regret doing it....you will regret NOT doing it!

Getting your stomach ripped out won't kill you, it will make you a badass!

It will give you back your life![/quote']

This is awesome!!!^^^

[Rootman 1,101]

Honestly no, I have been big my whole life and don't have diabetes or high cholesterol or high bp or anything life threatening like that, Aside from my weight I'm in excellent health.

Like Buckeye said, like you we were healthy, then things go to hell in a handbasket in a hurry. Blood pressure, blood sugar issues and all the rest. Trouble is by the time they manifest they are harder to correct and may cause permanant damage.

[Babysteppin 165]

At 4:45pm I called my doc's office back and admitted to them I am scared and my fear was the reason I canceled. IDK if this is a "sign" of any kind BUT the receptionist totally understood and said that my appointment time was still available if I wanted to re-book it.....so I did.

You go, girl! It sounds like it's at least worth going in and asking questions. Hey, the worst that could come of it is that you decide the surgery is not for you, and you don't go back. But yet even if it goes that way, it's still not really 'bad' because you'll have made a more informed decision. In any event, you'll be so much more aware of your options; be educated about the procedure, and have any doubts/concerns addressed by the doctor. Good luck, and go with your gut! No pun intended