Yes It Happened...and Yes It Made Me Sad.

[swizzly 901]

No one has said this to me, but I almost wish they would cos I would LOOOOVE to ask someone right to their face, "Leaving aside whether this is actually easy or not, which by the way you have zero knowledge about -- why should I not have taken the easy way out?" I'd love to deconstruct any explanations they could come up with for WHY I DON'T DESERVE TO TAKE GOOD AND EFFECTIVE CARE OF MY BODY. Cos I can tell you, the 'rationale' against the 'easy way out' is full of judgment about fat people deserving to be fat and thus having to be punished by working like dogs to get the weight off. They should SUFFER cos they have committed the sin of being fat.

LOL. Riiiiigghht. I'm SO never going to believe a word of that. Bring it on, haters -- I will uncover your judgey ways and leave you with nary a rhetorical leg to stand on, and nowhere to hide your prejudiced ways. I'm good at arguing on the spot, though.

[chubilicious 12]

I am 2 months out today' date=' and when I weighed this morning I was so elated because I'm down 40 lbs from my pre-surgery weight. Unfortunately my elation didn't last for long. ;(

I am a private person, so I haven't told anyone at work that I had WLS. When people say something about my weight loss I cringe and stumble through the whole, "I'm working really hard, under a DRs & NUTs care, no carb, low fat, no sugar, blah, blah, blah" schpiel. I hate addressing people's curiosity, and because 2 other ladies in my office had WLS in the last few years, I'm sure that some people are digging for info. I usually manage to brush these encounters off, but today was different.

So this morning as I'm rocking a brand new size 8 pair of jeans...down from a 16-TYVM...I go to the break room to cook my egg whites that I'm getting so damn sick of having for Breakfast, and a friendly colleague of mine says, "Girl, you are wasting away right before my eyes". I say, "I'm getting there." She then proceeds to tell me that she is so glad I didn't take the easy way out like the other two did!!!! I am dumbfounded, and trying to gracefully and tactfully get myself out of this conversation, but I honestly wanted to cry. I told her that I didn't think there was an easy way out with weight loss. She said, "yeah, I know, but taking the easy way out is sad and it really shows that you have no self control."

I was devastated, and I've been in a funk ever since. I know without a shadow of a doubt that she would have never said that if she knew...that makes me so sad. It also makes me sad to think that someone I admire in my professional life would be so condemning of an issue she obviously has never struggled with. I felt dirty and cheap and like a coward for not coming clean and telling her, "My dear, I had WLS and it is not the easy way out." Instead I just let her walk away thinking I'm this goddess of self control and that I have done this all by myself. Ughhh, I'm so mad at myself.

I have worked my ass off to get to this point and I've invested a TON of money in making sure my future is as healthy and happy as it can possibly be, because there are people in my life that I adore and I want to see 30,000 more sunsets with them. I have never fought for something so hard in my whole entire life.

I didn't take the easy way out. The easy way out would have been to do nothing. The easy way out would have me giving into every craving and eating grotesque amounts of food just because I can. The easy way out would have been to continue to get fatter and fatter, and sicker and sicker and to die way before my time.

Sorry, I just had to come here where y'all would understand. Today hurt, and it discouraged me and it sucked. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day...and I'm going to be one step closer to my goal.[/quote']

Dont let that bother you. It is a simple case of not educating yourself about sometging you speak of with your colleague. Before i started the long journey of reserach into this type of surgery i always thought it was an 'easy way out'. It is general public way of thinking. General public may think that you have your surgery and that is it .the weight just magically comes off. It is your choice to share your weight loss experience. Whenever i hear 'easy way out' i grin and think to myself "if you only knew" and i didnt even have the surgery. Chin up!

[delta_girl 931]

This really hits home with me. Both sides.

I took 3 days off. I am an extremely private person. No, I am not secretive. I am very direct spoken and aggressive at work which is part of why I have been professionally successful. But I let no other person define how, what, when, nor where I am allowed or expected to cross over boundaries between my internal life, my personal life, and my professional life in order to meet another person's needs, expectations, curiosity or rudeness.

I will not be sharing with anyone that I don't want to share with, regardless of another person's opinions or values or proud righteousness or default openness.

I have only lost 15 lbs so far, so not enough to notice. What would I say to someone whey they do or when they ask? "Thanks for the compliment." "I commend your astute observation skills!" "How kind of you to notice." If they ask more ... "Why do you ask?" That one is pretty effective. If they want to know how it is done, "Burn more calories than you take in."

[swizzly 901]

I am an extremely private person. No, I am not secretive. I am very direct spoken and aggressive at work which is part of why I have been professionally successful. But I let no other person define how, what, when, nor where I am allowed or expected to cross over boundaries between my internal life, my personal life, and my professional life in order to meet another person's needs, expectations, curiosity or rudeness.

I will not be sharing with anyone that I don't want to share with, regardless of another person's opinions or values or proud righteousness or default openness.

This. Exactly this. For the same reasons you list.

[Aimstergal 42]

I'm going for the "shock and awe" response....a casual "yeah' date=' I had 80% of my stomach whacked off to stop me from killing myself with food" and then walk away...I've only told my immediate family so far that i'm going to have it done. If I were in your shoes, I'd feel the same way....I hate trying to hide things from people. If it's someone I respected and admired that much, I personally wouldn't be able to keep up the charade. I'd have to clear the air...that's just me. That being said, it's hard to justify WLS surgery to someone who has never had a problem with eating/weight, they just don't get it. Hope you can find some resolution, the road to regaining health is hard enough without worrying about every joker who wants to Detour you along the way. Take care![/quote']

I'm keeping it quiet until after I return to work. I'm choosing not to tell most people before the surgery because I don't want to hear their opinions. The majority of people don't understand that obesity is a DISEASE, not a choice. Not to mention it's easier for them to point out what they think is wrong with someone else instead of looking at themselves. That's the difference between them and us...we are proactive and doing what's best to be our best!! I learned this when I told an old friend that I was having the surgery and he said he always thought weight loss surgery "cosmetic". He didn't say it sarcastically or with judgement. It was coming from a place of not comprehending. I explained it in detail...what has led to this point for me, what I've lived with and struggled with since I'm 10 years old. He just didn't understand because he has never had to deal with it. He understands now. Anyone else can F themselves. I'm finally taking care of ME.

My surgery is coming up...October 15. ????

[cherrybombknits 184]

Hope surgery went well Aimstergirl! OP this is exactly why I kept the nature of my surgery to myself. I only see my coworkers a few times a year so I don't think my wl will be that big of a deal. I DO have a family reunion in about a month and know I will get the snarky "easy way" comments from my evil stepmother. I can't wait to stare at her rump and ask how the "hard" way is working for her.

[Aimstergal 42]

Hope surgery went well Aimstergirl! OP this is exactly why I kept the nature of my surgery to myself. I only see my coworkers a few times a year so I don't think my wl will be that big of a deal. I DO have a family reunion in about a month and know I will get the snarky "easy way" comments from my evil stepmother. I can't wait to stare at her rump and ask how the "hard" way is working for her.

Well said!! Just keep in mind what happened to the wicked stepmother and what happened to Cinderella!!

Surgery went well. First few days were a bit rough but mostly due to incision pain. Now it's just the frustration of wanting to chew something! Next week is mashed/puréed step and I can't wait!!

Good luck at the family reunion and if anyone asks how you lost weight, tell them diet and exercise!! 'Nuf said. After all, it's the truth!!

Sent from my iPad using VST

[SarzC 12]

Slenderella - you are a goddess of self control...everyday you follow your new food plan, everyday you make those egg whites. Getting a sleeve is only part of it....and you did that for yourself too - you chose the best tool for you and you have been solely responsible for your self control and practicing it everyday has made you successful. You did do this yourself!! We all hear the scary stories of people who lose their control and gain...and that is not you! Take her compliments and enjoy them.

[januhh 4]

I agree w the others.....2 me the sleeve is definitely something I don't mind sharing about...I'm very proud of making the decision 2 get it so that I will b able 2 have a better healthier life not only 4 me but my 4yr old daughter....2 me I should b more ashamed of the over weight person that I have become n that everybody has seen