Yes It Happened...and Yes It Made Me Sad.

[Slenderella 153]

I am 2 months out today, and when I weighed this morning I was so elated because I'm down 40 lbs from my pre-surgery weight. Unfortunately my elation didn't last for long. ;(

I am a private person, so I haven't told anyone at work that I had WLS. When people say something about my weight loss I cringe and stumble through the whole, "I'm working really hard, under a DRs & NUTs care, no carb, low fat, no sugar, blah, blah, blah" schpiel. I hate addressing people's curiosity, and because 2 other ladies in my office had WLS in the last few years, I'm sure that some people are digging for info. I usually manage to brush these encounters off, but today was different.

So this morning as I'm rocking a brand new size 8 pair of jeans...down from a 16-TYVM...I go to the break room to cook my egg whites that I'm getting so damn sick of having for Breakfast, and a friendly colleague of mine says, "Girl, you are wasting away right before my eyes". I say, "I'm getting there." She then proceeds to tell me that she is so glad I didn't take the easy way out like the other two did!!!! I am dumbfounded, and trying to gracefully and tactfully get myself out of this conversation, but I honestly wanted to cry. I told her that I didn't think there was an easy way out with weight loss. She said, "yeah, I know, but taking the easy way out is sad and it really shows that you have no self control."

I was devastated, and I've been in a funk ever since. I know without a shadow of a doubt that she would have never said that if she knew...that makes me so sad. It also makes me sad to think that someone I admire in my professional life would be so condemning of an issue she obviously has never struggled with. I felt dirty and cheap and like a coward for not coming clean and telling her, "My dear, I had WLS and it is not the easy way out." Instead I just let her walk away thinking I'm this goddess of self control and that I have done this all by myself. Ughhh, I'm so mad at myself.

I have worked my ass off to get to this point and I've invested a TON of money in making sure my future is as healthy and happy as it can possibly be, because there are people in my life that I adore and I want to see 30,000 more sunsets with them. I have never fought for something so hard in my whole entire life.

I didn't take the easy way out. The easy way out would have been to do nothing. The easy way out would have me giving into every craving and eating grotesque amounts of food just because I can. The easy way out would have been to continue to get fatter and fatter, and sicker and sicker and to die way before my time.

Sorry, I just had to come here where y'all would understand. Today hurt, and it discouraged me and it sucked. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day...and I'm going to be one step closer to my goal.

[brajt 17]

Some people are insensitive to what comes out of their mouth. You cannot control it and all you can really do is state you feel that it is an inappropriate statement. Usually makes them feel awkward and takes the issue off you and focuses back on them.

Surgery is NOT the easy way out. By far, it is very hard and has so many risks attached too it. Your absolutely right the easy way out is to not do anything and continue to gain weight.

Don't let her rude comments bring you down at all...your looking GREAT!!! Keep up the hard work :-)

[lessofmeismore 1,405]

It is hard. We will never be able to please everyone or have people feel/think the same as us but you have done what's right for you. Try not to be upset and just look forward to your healthy happy future.

And BTW woohooo rocking the size 8's !!!! That's awesome!!!!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Sad that you were justifying to your co-worker how you lost weight and then wammo! She gives you this hugh surprise that rocked your whole day. It so sucks! You are totally right! This is not the easy way out. We have all worked hard to get to this point in our lives and we still have alot of work to do on our food triggers. Thank god tomorrow is a new day! Chin up, smile and let it go. That person has no ideal the emotional struggles you've been through. Hang in there and get out of that funk! Give it back to her. We got your back!

[Kim Ster 111]

some ppl are so ignorant! I am not bothered by telling ppl I am about to be sleeved. I am not ashamed that I need help, ask for it then use it to my benefit! If you have mental health problems is it taking the easy way out by seeking a psyc? NOoooooooo. Its natural for ppl to judge one another and some ppl just need to talk about others to take the focus off their own miserable life.....

Hold your head up high and be proud! You're in a size 8 for pete's sake women!!!!!!

Go Get'em Tiger, set them straight!

[barrbdoll 287]

WOW!! I'm not a "private" person per say but I can relate to this post... There are indeed a lot of folks that think that WLS is the "easy way out".... I would say that 95% of these folks have never battled with their weight.. I have been very successful with my sleeve surgery dropping almost 100 lbs in 6 short months.. I had absolutely no pain, no gas, no nausea and other than walking have done no major exercise.. Has this been easy for me??? YES!! and I thank GOD for that but I am far from the norm. We differ in the fact that I feel that I have been given a platform to some extent and want to shout to the world how this surgery has changed my life!! Those closest to me know my battle and those that don't?? I could care less what they think. I was an athlete in school yet have been overweight my entire life and have tried diet after diet, boot camp at the gym, hiring personal trainers, etc... to lose at the most..... 30lbs???? The easy way out is exactly what you said... Settling for another failed diet or straining my back at the gym... for what??? I just turned 38 and feel that my best years are ahead of me!!! I finally have control over my weight and easy or not... It's the BEST feeling in the world!!!

Congratulations on your accomplishments thus far!! I wish you nothing but continued success!!!

[Tinka504 46]

Don’t let those bigoted fools bring you down. WLS is a TOOL that helps YOU gain control of your life, your weight and the way you live. It’s not a "fix" for a obese, fat person. Again, it’s a tool. You are working on changing you. The key word there is WORKING. Watching what and how you eat, exercising and doing the things you used to enjoy. You should pat yourself on your back. You are doing a great job, have a great attitude about this. Don’t let some jealous women drag you down. She is just upset that someone is getting attention she must think she deserves. I hate people like that. Instead of being happy and talking positive they have to be so damn negative. Karma is a mother…that’s all I have to say. Karma is a nasty mofo… Jus sayin..

[Frza 194]

Wow. That must have been so painful, I'm so sorry. I was imagining myself in your position and I probably would have started to cry.

This struck a chord with me because I do feel like someone who has no self control and i have a lit of shame about that. This is precisely why I didn't share with any co-workers that I was having surgery. I worried about my boss & peers thinking less of me, like if I am lacking determination and control in my personal life how much can I be relied upon at work? But, keeping it secret feels false, like I am ashamed of my choice. Which I am not, at least I don't feel that way. Lots of sleevers say " i dont care what anyone thinks, this was for me" i agree with rhat to a certain extent but i do care what my employer thinks of me. This is a very complex topic.

[isajck 229]

First, only you can allow anyone to make you feel bad about these issues. Second, why the secrecy? Most intelligent people can put two and two together to figure it out. Someone disappears for a couple of weeks and upon return instantly starts losing weight very quickly. These days it's not rocket science, especially to anyone that witnesses us eating a meal. While not screaming it from the rooftops, if anyone asks how the weight loss is happening, I tell them. I am not ashamed of my decision and could care less what anyone thinks about it. To date everyone has been supportive but if even one wasn't - so be it. This is my body and life, no one else had to live it but me.

[barrbdoll 287]

First, only you can allow anyone to make you feel bad about these issues. Second, why the secrecy? Most intelligent people can put two and two together to figure it out. Someone disappears for a couple of weeks and upon return instantly starts losing weight very quickly. These days it's not rocket science, especially to anyone that witnesses us eating a meal. While not screaming it from the rooftops, if anyone asks how the weight loss is happening, I tell them. I am not ashamed of my decision and could care less what anyone about it. To date everyone has been supportive but if even one wasn't - so be it. This is my body and life, no one else had to live it but me.

AMEN!!!!!

[AStephenson 159]

I'm going for the "shock and awe" response....a casual "yeah, I had 80% of my stomach whacked off to stop me from killing myself with food" and then walk away...I've only told my immediate family so far that i'm going to have it done. If I were in your shoes, I'd feel the same way....I hate trying to hide things from people. If it's someone I respected and admired that much, I personally wouldn't be able to keep up the charade. I'd have to clear the air...that's just me. That being said, it's hard to justify WLS surgery to someone who has never had a problem with eating/weight, they just don't get it. Hope you can find some resolution, the road to regaining health is hard enough without worrying about every joker who wants to Detour you along the way. Take care!

[Slenderella 153]

First, only you can allow anyone to make you feel bad about these issues. Second, why the secrecy? Most intelligent people can put two and two together to figure it out. Someone disappears for a couple of weeks and upon return instantly starts losing weight very quickly. These days it's not rocket science, especially to anyone that witnesses us eating a meal. While not screaming it from the rooftops, if anyone asks how the weight loss is happening, I tell them. I am not ashamed of my decision and could care less what anyone about it. To date everyone has been supportive but if even one wasn't - so be it. This is my body and life, no one else had to live it but me.

Sorry, but I couldn't disagree with you more. I am human, and I'm occasionally affected by negative & judgemental attitudes, I think most people are. As I said before, I've done well not to let others opinion of WLS get to me, but today was a particularly rough day. I'm glad you have enough confidence to not let others attitudes get to you, but unfortunately an emotionally abusive past makes it difficult for me to be bullet proof 100% of the time.

Why the secrecy? Today is a perfect example of why I chose not to share my journey with others. I thought it was safe to do so here, but I guess I was wrong.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Don't take this wrong, but have you considered the possibility that maybe she does suspect that you had WLS and used what a nonWLS patient would consider a compliment as a way to throw a jab at you?

[Ready4success 380]

Don't take this wrong' date=' but have you considered the possibility that maybe she does suspect that you had WLS and used what a nonWLS patient would consider a compliment as a way to throw a jab at you?[/quote']

I was thinking the same thing. I think she was fishing.

[Slenderella 153]

Wow. That must have been so painful, I'm so sorry. I was imagining myself in your position and I probably would have started to cry.

This struck a chord with me because I do feel like someone who has no self control and i have a lit of shame about that. This is precisely why I didn't share with any co-workers that I was having surgery. I worried about my boss & peers thinking less of me, like if I am lacking determination and control in my personal life how much can I be relied upon at work? But, keeping it secret feels false, like I am ashamed of my choice. Which I am not, at least I don't feel that way. Lots of sleevers say " i dont care what anyone thinks, this was for me" i agree with rhat to a certain extent but i do care what my employer thinks of me. This is a very complex topic.

You totally get where I'm coming from and that helps me a lot! Thanks for the encouragement.