My Suggestion-Stop The Obsessing. Rules Are Meant To Be Broken

[NJSleeveboy 212]

Ok. Rules are SOMETIMES meant to be broken. So, Here's the deal. I am 2 weeks post op today. I am one of those who had zero issues and had a smooth ride from recovery room to date!! This post is not intended to mean I am sure I will have a long term good go at this! It also doesn't address the future, but really ONLY the many threads that I have read regarding the preo op and post op liquid diets and the Pre and post few weeks Do's and Dont's!

I have read almost every post on here before and after surgery, lol. Here is the point that I will explain. Your/Our obsession over following diet rules is what got us here in the first place.. isn't it?? I mean, it's great to have black and white rules.. Do's and Don's. can and cant's.. That's why we were ALL great on Atkins (remember the carb counting obsession), and South Beach (remember how carefully we chose the meals), weight watchers, low cal, grapefruit, slimfast , yada yada yada......RIGHT?

Sure, it worked. THEN WE WENT OFF THE WAGON and got sick of the rules and restrictions and put weight back on (and then some).... That's because it was a DIET.. Why do so many of you do that on here? I'm not judging, but trying to help! Yes, it's easier for me, since I have had no issues. I come from a strong medical family (i had bio as a minor,4 docs and 2 nurses in immed family) and I always love to understand WHY the rules are in place. If something doesn't make sense, I want to know why and not just follow a rule because it was put out there.

My surgeon told me that "rules" are on here for the lower end of reaction spectrum. meaning, many need not follow them, but since 30%, for ex, will have issues with some things, they want to make a general rule......

As EVERYONE says on here, as well as EVERY doc, ALL OF US ARE DIFFERENT! We heal differently, We tolerate pain differently, foods differently, weight loss differently, etc..... EVERY SINGLE ONE So, the rules need not be applied to the T!

Now, as a caveat and from feedback so far on this post, this is not an excuse to eat junk NOR stay on bad habits. I don't mean to enable anyone. here is what BUTTERTHEBEAN wrote:

"The only reason I say "enabling" is because I think there are some people waiting in the wings to hear someone tell them it's okay to eat whatever they want. They haven't tackled their food addictions and they are hoping for "permission" to go back to their old ways. I know there are some that can learn to eat "all things in moderation." I have no problem with that. For me, I chose to embrace my inner health nut. It's not fear or weakness or lack of self control...it's the desire to live a long, healthy and active life. I'm not depriving myself, or sacrifing. The things I'm doing and the life I'm leading now feel way better than eating pizza and cupcakes ever did (even in moderation). By that I mean that food did not give me pleasure (never did, I just thought it did), so I no longer look to food to satisfy my needs, except nutritionally."

Ok... Back to the post. Specifically, here is what I have had debunked by my brother (Anesthesiologist for bariatric), My mom (nurse and nutritionist), my bro's good friend and bariatric surgeon, and my surgeon..........

* Yes, the liquid PRE OP diet is not to be messed with. It sucked, but we need the liver to be soft and looking like liver in a supermarket. That will happen in most cases with one week.. Many docs do one week only and many do 2 weeks..... So, if you have a 2 week doc, don't worry if you cheat a little and wants some low calorie food.. It's OK!! have the Soup... etc. I didn't cheat as mine was only a week and I did not want to have a lifetime of liver issues if it was frail and broke a bit/injured while being moved for my surgery....

* Most docs on here POST OP put you on liquids for 2 weeks.. Why?? NOTHING medical. Really? Many docs, including mine, put me on Clear Liquids only day 1 in the hospital and then put me instantly on pureed foods (tuna salad, chicken salad, egg salad, greek yogurts, ricotta cheese, etc).. Yes. DAY 2! He does this for EVERY patient.. He has had NO MORE COMPLICATIONS than anyone else ever.... It is NOT true that eating this will cause a leak.. It can't get caught in you stitches, lol, as they are on the outside and you can't see them even in your stomach.. The ONLY risk is a)that you eat way too much and thus can cause leaks, so don't do that. and that is WAY too much. Meaning you go out of your way to test the limits. As any surgeon will tell you, stretching the stomach to break the staples is no easy task.... easy enough to follow that rule .. and the risk is that you get nauseated.. Ok.. we are all different. Some take 90 minutes the first time they eat to get down 4 oz of chicken salad.. I didn't . I got it down in 15 min and could have done it in 5..... But the point is, listen to your body. start slowly and if you tolerate it, then screw the rules.....

What does this mean? It means so what if you doc put you on 2 week post liquid. That is soo hard.. so, do it mostly, but don't obsess about cheating. have a friggin plate of tuna salad.. It will taste yummy.. Add some great yogurt. If you can handle it, you are good to go! I did.. They also want you on this liquid to max your weight loss for motivation up front? do you really need that?? I don't care if it takes me 1 more week than you to hit the same goal? Frankly, I decided to keep my calories around 800ish anyway for my first 2 weeks. It was a little hard, but nothing like your liquid nightmare and i lost as much weight... I'm now on 1200 cal full diet plan (less hard carbs and hard veggies) as of last night.

I've heard people say they are craving one Dorito chip.. Then the advice replies were "lick the cheese off" or "take a bit and spit it out...." LOL. Really? This is your diet/lifestyle for the rest of your life. HAVE A CHIP.. See if you get a lot of gas.. Chew it well.. If not problem, then enjoy the one chip. You got here because you at a half bag . One or three chips won't kill you! You need to find a way to eat what you will do.. The docs want you to build your healthy habits now.

*The first year is where you get your max weight loss- Ok. For sure,, so, as noted, build your healthy habits now.. but make it last. So, if I want a Dorito chip. I have one or two.. On my pureed phase, my kids had pretzels at a game. I took 2 small ones....I had a qtr of his hotdog meat.. The point is, if we can seriously lower the number of calories we eat (which, for me, they figured i was eating between 3500-4000 per day and needed to be at 2400 or so.. Now, with 1200, which believe me, with the sleeve is a mini feast, I will be eating half the amount and will lose a lot of weight. So, yes, build good eating habits and i'm working on good food choices that I can live with! Can I eat white bread. Damn right?should I// nO?? it's a waste of calories and spikes your sugar and appetite. But, I sure will if i want a hamburger or great sandwich. A month ago i would have had 2 cheeseburgers and 2 hotdogs at a bbq. .So, guess what, i'll lose weight. Can't make it a daily thing.. But, again, stop obsessing..

*Eating and drinking slowly eating- well, you don't HAVE to eat slowly, but as we have been told our whole lives, eat slowly so that when you are really full, you know it! Also, you need to see what your bod can tolerate and if you eat too quickly, you may not have realized you were about to puke. If you can tolerate it, you can eat and drink quicker than others, but not a good idea for reasons mentioned. so work on it, but don't obsess.. At the hospital, they told me I had to drink in in little tiny medical cups a few cc evry 20 min. I laughed, as Water went down easily in recovery even. ALL NURSES TOLD ME NO. When I saw my doc, i asked why I can't just drink as I can tolerate it at home and get my 64 oz is. HE said dont' chug, but do whatever you can do without discomfort. So, 8 oz bottle of Water went down in 5 minutes... etc....

*Chewing your food- ALL true... We have that banana sized stomach.. So, the doughy breads, and stringy veggies and large pieces of non chewed enough food INDEED often get stuck! Not stuck like a lap band, but rather, they move toward the pyloric valve and are too big to pass through it, since there isn't as much acid, etc in your stomach and, well, the route to the valve is now MUCH shorter.. So, it sits in front of it and as soon as the next item goes there, it waits in line. your body puts out gas and then knows there is a problem, so will signal you to vomit it up. not fun... So, chew! All true! Also makes us take longer to eat and thus enjoy the tastes more than ever and have the full signal sent to our brain while we are still eating or pretty close to that!

*Caffein is bad... Ok. Google whether it's an appetite suppressant or stimulant.. It's hysterical.. You'll get equal replies from GREAT sources that say the opposite. I WANT my one cup a day. I'm not an addict. I asked. I am now sipping on my first REAL one. It is indeed a diuretic for some. So, drink a half cup more water than a day! If you feel it makes you hungry after you have it and you don't want to hold back, then stop the coffee.. It doesn't for me. It does for some... But what will you be doing in a year from now??/ There is NO medical reason why you can't have caffein after a few weeks

*ALCOHOL is a no no for 2 months. NONSENSE.. Again, just there so we don't put empty calories. BUT what if I WANT one drink or two on a date tonight?? I am told, go for it, but just know you will have ingested 400 wasted calories. Ok. I get it, but I WILL drink in my life, although never drank a ton and that was not the cause of most of my weight.. Watch the calories and don't do it twice most weeks.. Or if you will, then cut back a bit on your Snacks, etc. Anyway, looking forward to a martini with my date tomorrow at dinner.. Oh, most people on here for a while, will tell you since there is less food to bind with alcohol, it goes into your intestines/blood stream much quicker and you get a nice buzz faster with less! way cool!

* Most other rules and comments on here are just not universal and again, if you feel the NEED to cheat, then well, cheat! How can it be cheating if this will be your new life! WOrk hard at right food choices and don't make this soooo hard. The harder you make it, the more YOU WILL revolt and end up going off the wagon like the good old days... Since I have had no pain, etc and pretty much eat what I wanted (and cheated on my puree period even), I feel this is just toooo easy. I hear so many of you struggling (not because you have pain, but because you want to break a rul) and so many of you "supporting them" to stay strong, that I just wanted to add this post! Also, again, much of the medical advice that our well meaning friends on here provide, just isn't true. Sorry, but it isnt.

I hope this helps some of you enjoy your Pre and Post diets much more than you may be now!

Best, my friends!

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

Very long post. Thank you for sharing your opinion. You are only two weeks out. I am sure those who have had the sleeve a year or more will have lots to say............................You didn't tell us how much you have lost?

[ashleytn 48]

Wow...you have an incredible outlook on life that I love. Keep up the good work!

[sarah14 7]

You are absolutely right. I've tried every diet you mentioned and failed. If you tell me I CAN'T have it, I want it more! I'm struggling again through this full liquid for 6 weeks phase. Tonight I might have one pretzel.

[NJSleeveboy 212]

Sorry it's so long!! yes, I hope we hear from the veterans. .I have spoken to many of them, as I just wasn't buying into the golden rules and was able to tolerate so many things. I had a real spicy meal yesterday and no gas or anything. Sorry it was soo long, a lot to say, lol... I lost 26 pounds from the the one week liquid preop to today, which is two weeks post op, for a total of 26 pounds in 21 days. I am HAPPY to not obsess on each pound and slow down the weight loss to get onto a lifestyle diet that works.. My nutritionist (and mom), said that was music to their ears.

[NJSleeveboy 212]

I suggest not the pretzel, lol. But try it, to see how you tolerate it. I swear, go for a nice can of tuna or chicken and add 2 tablespoons of light mayo and mush it with fork. OMG, the first day I got home, the taste after one week of liquid was incredible Yes, you'll have gas, as you will in 2 weeks. Eat it slowly and enjoy it!!!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Thank you for your opinion. It was really, really long. There are so many different opinions on here that we all have to decide on what is best for us. Thank you again for your opinion and experience.

[ME123 39]

My doctor did not put me on a pre-op liquid diet, I am to have only Clear Liquids the day before. Why do some docs do that and others don't?

[eazye 151]

Neilsleeve, nail on the head my friend, nail on the head! I feel the exact same way and am approacing the "diet" thing the exact same way. If I want it, I eat it...just WAY LESS! I am 2 months out, eat just about anything I want when I want it. If I am craving something, I will take a bite or two, it satisfies me, then stop eating it because I am not hungry for it anymore. Did I take in 20-30 extra calories, probably....is it going to hurt me, absolutely not, in fact, I will burn off 20 times that when I ride my bike or go play with my daughter, or go do something physical that I couldn't do previously. It is all about using your head, staying diciplined, and living your life, not deprivation. I am not going to spend my life being terrified of food!

[Cinders 56]

Great post & outlook! I too have been lucky with no pain & smooth sailing after surgery. I only had mine last Wed 26th and have moved from clears to fulls. Not craving anything at the moment but I contracted a sinus cold from the flight & can't smell or taste anything at the moment which I am sure is a blessing. As with all rules, I take them as a guideline and go with what works best for me. In reading a lot of posts on here, I just stay away from ones with a lot of negativity in them. I have a super positive outlook for this new lifestyle I have chosen and staying positive about my choices is the best route for me.

[Ready 2 Fly 22]

I agree with you. Diets do not work! That's how we got here in the first place. My NUT suggested reading the book "Intuitave Eating" great advice about listening to your body, not all the so called diet rules that we've been brainwashed with.

[eazye 151]

I should follow up my post with saying that I still get my Protein in, minimum of 65-75 grams per day, so after that is when I may fit in that special something that I just have a craving for but can't really eat much of. Getting in your Protein will prevent you from wanting the junk food. Just dont substitute that pan of brownies in instead of that chicken breast! That is not what my point was and dont think neilsleeve was getting at that either. Point is eat right but dont be afraid to treat yourself in moderation if you can tolerate it.

One of my favorite junk foods is ice cream but over the past 2 weeks, I discovered I can't tolerate it and was sick for a few hours the 2 times I tried it. Tried it once and felt bad, tried it again just to verify it was the ice cream and not something else...sure enough, same results even in moderation. I guess I will hang up the ice cream indulgence for now. Boooooooooooo!

[sramos89 260]

Thank you for your post. I was have a very difficult and miserable time following my doctors orders and I too was having no problems. I am two weeks and I day post surgery today and started eating chicken last saturday and I have been so happy. I eat small amounts and I chew very well and I have had no problems. I am not going to put tuna in the blender and drink it. Not going to happen. I want to get my Protein through food and not stupid Protein Shakes and artificial flavors and sweetners. My goal with the sleeve was to eat and live like a "normal" person. Protein shakes and fanatical eating is no normal life for me. I do not ever want to go back to my awful eating habits that got me in this position in the first place. I loved your post and I hope you don't get beat up for it, there are some people on here that are pretty critical of anyone not following the plan to a T.

[Chills562 12]

awesome post, great encouragement. i dont think my nut. will like it, but my tummy says give me a salad for lunch!

[NJSleeveboy 212]

@sramos. Thanks! I am sure I will (get beaten up) lol.. I don't want to tell anyone what to do. We all have to make our own choices. I would have loved to have read this sort of post before and post op.... To each their own.. I don't judge others who need black and white.. However, they just need to be honest with themselves if that is what really works. MANY need it and need to max their weight loss for either health reasons or because of how bad they are at being able to change.. So, know yourself. I told my NUT yesterday flat out, that I want to eat more.. I want to enjoy this and why are we in a rush for me to be like everyone else and lost 20 pounds a month starting two or three? Why not eat a lot more and still lose 10 pounds a month. Gets me to goal soon enough. Again, music to her ears and she was happy to oblige. Just needed to make sure I am not obsessed over the scale and committed to long term.