English Teachers: Please Help Me!!

[green 6]

In the 70's I attended a class on communications where the instructor took two students out and showed them a photograph and they each in turn came in and described it to us. The man described an old, tired and lonely woman trudging home in the snow, hauling her heavy groceries. The woman described the first day of warm sun where the snow is beginning to melt and this old woman, who has been housebound all winter is joyfully having her first outing to the grocery store.

Then we got to see the picture. That led to a discussion on perception, and I've been intrigued by the subject ever since.

Over the years I've tried to clean up my relationships and resolve any left over issues and I've been shocked to find that people have been hurt by something they THINK I've said and have carried that hurt around for years. And often what they perceived is so far from my original intention it amazes me.

Add a second language to all this....yikes.

It seems to be pretty much par for the course that men and women interpret emotional data differently. There is a number of studies where men and women are asked to examine photographs of faces and to interpret the emotions displayed. Women and men tend to perform differently, women with much more sensitivity. ..Researchers assume that it is in the interests of women, the weaker and the nurturing sex, to be in tune to the emotions of those around them.

As for speaking more than one language, it can be easy and it can be fun. I speak working class yobbo and I speak middle class educated white chick. I also speak French; I lived there for a few years when I was younger. I would certainly be up for learning ebonics if only because the notion of an overweight 57 year old white Canadian woman speaking young urban American Black amuses me. And it would be interesting. Learning new stuff always is.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Like this picture shows, people see and hear what they want.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Tired Old Man I Love Him....I am Loving him....I be loving him

My wife wants to know who this girl-friend is that is making love to me. :help:

"I am loving him" sounds like a euphemism for what someone might say while enjoying a night (or afternoon) of pleasure. :faint:

[TommyO 5]

Sorry I didn't read all of the posts so if this has already been covered please forgive me. Let me start by saying that adding "ing" makes the verb active and stating "I am loving it" infers that there is an action involved. This is a statement that implies a greater commitment to the point in question.

There is a story that helps define the difference between being committed and being involved. Bacon and eggs are viewed by many as a traditional Breakfast but for the creators of this important meal it is important to note that the chicken was commited but the pig was involved.

Hence if "I love eggs" I am committed but If "I am Loving eggs" I am involved, implying that my love is even greater.

It is important to remember that language is a communication tool and the rules are arbitrary. If we let the rules get in the way of communication then we lose sight of what we are attempting to do as we become focused on convention. I prefer to listen to the content and intent and try to ignore the structure.

More simply put if, I was in the ocean struggling to stay afloat and you happened by in your boat and I yelled out to you "I am Drowning" I would hope that that would throw me a line. God forbid you would putt off wondering if I meant to say "I drown"

[Devana 0]

I'm not sure if I've done this correctly, but here's a link to this morning's bbc news that fits right in with this thread.

www.httpi//news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/5396866.stm

[Devana 0]

Dang, it doesn't work. I posted the wrong one anyway. This was to do with the proliferation of the use of "lite".

[Carlene 12]

Another example of totally improper, but wonderfully colorful colloquial English-speakers - the Cajuns. My sister-in-law was married to a Cajun (aka "Coon Ass") and I spent lots of time in some tiny little towns on the coast of Louisiana, where the accent is as thick as gumbo.

We were visiting one weekend when Autry, my BIL's brother, asked for a ride to the store. "I thought you bought yourself a car," I asked. "What happened to it?"

"Well," said Autry, "Let me told you. You know there ain't but one telephone pole between Cameron and Holly Beach, don't you?"

I agreed that that sounded right.

"Well, me, I found the son-of-a-bitch," said Autry.

That's the way they talk, often with bastardized French inter spread for good measure. "Hey, ney," is how they greet one another. And always, laissez les bons temps rouler - let the good times role. And boy, do they mean it. Shrimping is hard work, but on Saturday night, after 5 o'clock Mass, everybody gets together to drink beer, eat seafood, and play Bouret (pronounced boo-ray), a Cajun card game played for money. On Saturday night, they put their kids to bed with dirty feet and enjoy themselves like no group of people I have ever known.

Both my BIL and my SIL are dead now. Cameron and Holly Beach were literally, totally destroyed by Hurricane Rita. They say that big resort companies are buying up all the land where family-owned bars and "camps", as the Cajuns call them, were once lined up on the beach, raised high on rickety wooden stilts against the ever-threatening Gulf waters. The plan is to build huge hotels and spas - a Cajun Riviera. I think it sucks and I will never, ever go there.

I did see Autry at my SIL's funeral last year. Just listening to him talk brought back so many memories. I think it would be such a shame to insist that people like Autry speak only "proper" English. There is nothing proper about the Cajun culture, I can tell you, but that's part of their charm. And it's who they are. Who are we to try and change them?

[Carlene 12]

Sometimes people DO see (and hear) what they want to. But other times, it's not a choice.

Do you see the arrow in the Fed Ex logo? Most adults can't, unless they specifically look for it, and sometimes not even then. Pre-school children almost always spot it. Know why? Because they can't yet read.

[Carlene 12]

I would certainly be up for learning ebonics if only because the notion of an overweight 57 year old white Canadian woman speaking young urban American Black amuses me. And it would be interesting. Learning new stuff always is.

Girlfriend, yo be fixin' to be one hot mama, iffin' yo learns to talk trash with the homies from yo hood. Ya know what I'm sayin'?

[hootiebelle 0]

Tell me if this is improper and I hear it all the time...I hate it when I hear people say" I'm gonna get me".......ex. "I'm gonna get me a pair of those shoes"....It just sounds worng to me....Is it just me or is it wrong?

[Carlene 12]

Tell me if this is improper and I hear it all the time...I hate it when I hear people say" I'm gonna get me".......ex. "I'm gonna get me a pair of those shoes"....It just sounds worng to me....Is it just me or is it wrong?

Of course it's improper. Leave out the "me".

My granddaughter and her friends talk like this all the time. I correct them and they shrug their shoulders and say, "Whatever."

[green 6]

That's a funny story about the pitfalls of the generation gap, the one about the baad tires. I run into trouble when I am communicating with someone who has no sense of humour. It's caused me a lot of problems and I imagine that you, TOM, have suffered from this as well.

[Carlene 12]

Like this picture shows, people see and hear what they want.

Sometimes what you say isn't what they hear.

The other night, my DH and I went to a restaurant. While we waited for our food, I read him the trivia questions off the little coffee Talk paper that I had picked up as we came in.

"What part of the plant is used to make mint jelly?"

What would you have said?

My DH said, "I don't know....the back room?"

I almost rolled on the floor, I was laughing so hard!

"No, silly. It has nothing to do with a factory. It means what part of the mint plant- the stem, the leaves, etc - is used to make jelly."

Shortly thereafter, a couple came in and sat at the next table. The wife proceeded to read her DH the trivia questions. She got to the one about the mint jelly, and his answer was, "The back room".

Must be a guy thing....

[onlygo 0]

Be loving me some Tired Old Man.

[onlygo 0]

I am from Texas and yall just need to calm down bout this here language thang. I live on the border of louisiana and i am fixing to go over ther on get me som that gumbo, Yeeha good times Sher!!!!!!! I speak two languages , Texan and Cajun