Relationship Changes?

[Nicci 28]

Have any of you whom have already been sleeved found that your relationship has changed, either for the better or worse? I read someones comment last night that said most relationships fail after gastric surgery because the partner that has lost weight now realizes that they deserve better treatment than what they have been receiving. I was wondering how much validity there was to that statement. Have any of you found that your relationship has improved since you started dropping the pounds?

[hope4sleeve 17]

I am very close to 2 people who had gastric bypass. One couple went through some adjustment to the "new me" that evolved and it has been a bumpy road but they seem to be working it out. The other couple really supported each other through the changes and have grown stronger as a couple.

My husband is an amazing man who truly loves me and I love him just as much so I am hoping we escape any relationship issues, but want to be sure to be aware of it and make time for us if this surgery does happen for me.

[Losingitforgood! 50]

Divorce rate is staggeringly high for weight loss patience. My therapist told me somewhere in the 80% range. However your chances of a successful marriage are higher if the person that had the surgery was thin when marrying their significant other. Makes sense. Seek counseling right from the get go- is my best advice! Good luck.

[mel2643 68]

I have been with my husband for 23 years , I was just sleeved on 9/17 , however he was there when I was 120 and was there when I was 230 ... and throught it all he has never changed or made me feel any less , If anything my argument is that he made me feel way too comfortable in my skin that I did not realize the heavier I was getting , Now that I have lost 20 pounds so far ( since my last weigh in ) he is just as supportive , calling me slim ( lol ) sooo I think it depends on how strong are you going in ... Just my opinion

[GeauxForIt 659]

I have been with my husband for 23 years ' date=' I was just sleeved on 9/17 , however he was there when I was 120 and was there when I was 230 ... and throught it all he has never changed or made me feel any less , If anything my argument is that he made me feel way too comfortable in my skin that I did not realize the heavier I was getting , Now that I have lost 20 pounds so far ( since my last weigh in ) he is just as supportive , calling me slim ( lol ) sooo I think it depends on how strong are you going in ... Just my opinion[/quote']

This sounds like my husband! He makes me feel like the shiniest rock in the stream. We've talked at length about the surgery, the changes and what we'll each need from the other to feel comfortable. I'm feeling extremely confident going in that we'll be just fine.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

Divorce rate is staggeringly high for weight loss patience. My therapist told me somewhere in the 80% range.

Losingitforgood

hmmmm, divorce 80% range????

sounds a little too high for me not sure where those stats came..from.....

relationships can change after WL - you are a different person in various ways, confidence etc.

i've heard from this board that the spouse/significant other can be afraid the new "you" could stray away since they are now thinner/more confident, feel better about themselves and life

person all of a sudden wants/needs/gets some type of freedom

we all do change during our life times - all people do to a point

buttt hopefully things can get worked on dealt with

a friend might get jealous all of a sudden about your new found appearence - weight loss

once again we're all different

9 1/2 months post op - changes/adjustments ???

we're as happy as we were 20 years ago when we got married -

actually my health has improved so much - my happiness/confidence shines more - so yeah, i guess Tom and i ARE in a happier place

[diedie 64]

I think it depends on how the relationship was before surgery. If it was s@#t before then after there can be a lot of resentment. Im still trying to figure out that out for myself

[JMarshall 352]

A relationship built on a partners frailties will crumble with any type of personal changes. Its not that WLS destroys relationships, its that WLS removes the veil that kept the sinking boat a float.

[LindaS 316]

I had surgery over a year ago, and I celebrated by 18th wedding anniversary last month. Our relationship has always been strong, and my husband loved me at all of my sizes. Still, I would say that our relationship has improved because I feel better about myself. I am more likely to try new things and feel more confident.