Family Not Supportive

[Joy1961 134]

I saw a post about whether to tell parents. My situation is a little different. My family is freaking out. My husband thinks its crazy and pretty much everyone including my adult kids and parents are all acting upset. Im nervous enough as it is Anybody have similar prob? What should i do?

[Liamlover2011 66]

My husband did not support me till I had a very lengthy conversation. He is very thin and probably always will damn genetics!! I told him what it meant to me and my biggest point being that if you are 100 pounds over weight you only have a 5% chance of maintains weightless the conventional way. He eventually verbalize that I was right that he can not understand the position that I am in but can understand wanting to better my quality of life and health. He has become very supportive.... Now on the other hand my MIL is also very thin and holistic and will never understand. I'm terrified to tell her. I think the main person you need as support is you husband . Maybe he just needs time... Sorry I got long winded!

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[hawkihoops 20]

that makes my heart hurt for you. I am so sorry that you don't have a support system in your closest people, I hope you can find the positivity you need here.

[mommeof3 58]

I always had support from my husband and brother. My mother and sisters jumped on board when i told them that it was my decision.Of course they still did not support it. They are like that because they do not understand and probably will never understand. Bottom line..... it is your decision.

[juny 93]

support is great, but not a requirement for success. you can't know what's on the other end of the surgery. but for whatever time you have between now and your surgery, coming to terms w/ your decision, doing what's best for you given your circumstances is the most important thing. You're not doing this for anyone else and you don't owe anyone an explanation to prove its something you deserve to have. I say this because I see a few of these posts and they always sound like we're trying to prove something to somebody. I went through the same thing, until I accepted that no one can really understand the position i'm in or make me reach my goals, this is all me.

Get ok w/ yourself...if the rest follows that's great. But don't pin your state of mind on anyone else. This is your life, your circumstances, your decision, no one has the right to circumvent those things. Best of luck on reaching your goals.

[Joy1961 134]

Thanks i know they will come around. Unless i have complications. Thats the scary part obviously. Great advice though!

[xavtay2 85]

Hello Joy, I am 13 days post op and my parents were not very supportive until after the surgery was over. You have to do what is best for you and WLS is something that is difficult to explain to loved ones. I knew it was something I had to do and I did not let anyone stop me from doing it. Now they are so supportive and they understand now. Hold ur head up and know how they feel about it will change

[GeauxForIt 659]

I've chosen not to tell my patents or in-laws bc I know they won't be supportive. It's sad, but true. It took me three years to reach this decision and its about saving my own life and living a long time to mother my three, small children.

My husband is nervous, but very supportive, and my best girlfriends are my biggest cheerleaders so I'm VERY lucky to have a great team. But even if I didn't, I made this decision by myself, about myself and would do it anyway.

I hope you will have some peace of mind and that you're family will come around and support you! I bet they're reacting negatively out of fear and worry. Try to educate them as best you can. Good luck to you!!

[robynluevano 85]

My mom wasn't supportive at first. She wanted me to keep trying weight watchers. She is 5 ft 10 & been thin her whole life. I was adopted, and I am 5 ft 2 and started at 218. Weighed in at dr for my last visit pre op at 213.6, my last appt 9/13 9 days post op I was 195.6. My mom understands it was my choice & I am a big girl & paid for the surgery myself. I think she gets it now. My husband has been very supportive & has even cut sugar from his diet as much as possible. Once I am able to eat he will start eating the same things I can. My in laws are all very supportive as are the friends I have told. I wouldn't NOT do it again, as I know this is all that will keep me from ending up with comorbidities. I did this for me first, my family second. They will either like it & support me, or not & I will continue to become a more healthy person without their support.