Scared......i Don't Want To Leave My Kids Without A Mom!

[Amberl77 3]

Hi

My name is Amber, I am 35 years old and a mom to two great boys who are 14 and 11. I am down to getting the authorization for surgery from my insurance and I am scared to death. I have battled weight all of my life and have never kept my weight off. I know I need this and I know it is what could save my life but what if it also the one thing that could take it? Any advice or motivation would be great! Thank you!

[LA_dreamer 54]

I was the exact same! I am 29 and have a 4 year old. I cried for about a week over this. My surgeon asked me about being nervous... i told him not about the pain or nausea... I'm just worried about waking up. I told him if he just got me through surgery I could handle the recovery. I am a nurse and have worked in surgery. I know how rare death during a surgery like this is. But most mothers go through this. I am almost 4 weeks post op and laugh at myself for how I acted. I am sooo glad I did this.

[BrickHouse 358]

In my case, the benefits far outweigh the risks. Sure, any surgery is scary, but staying fat forever is scarier. Did your process include a psychologist? I would talk with your surgeon to see if he can recommend someone to speak with to put your mind at ease. Perhaps there's a support group you can join. It's a huge decision and the more support you have, the better. Best wishes to you.

[Amberl77 3]

Thank you so much for your response, I think I just need to hear things like this to help me know the choices I have made have been the right one. It's hard not having anybody to talk to that knows what it is like to go through such a process.

[his2my2our4 120]

Ohhhh Amber....I can so relate to this!! I am 11months out and remember feeling EXACTLY the same way! I hated that I couldn't keep up with my kids and I felt like I was always on the sidelines, when what I really wanted to do was jump in and play with them! I decided to do this for them. They deserve an active and totally present mom who will be around for years and years and years. Having said that, I was scared to death of the risks. I decided that the benefits far outweighed the risks and that if I didn't do something about my weight, I would be leaving them without their mother for sure! Your fears are totally normal and you are not alone. Trust in your doctors and in the process...and most importantly in YOU! You are worth this and your kids are worth it too! Good luck to you!!

[emily_0192010 168]

Hi

My name is Amber, I am 35 years old and a mom to two great boys who are 14 and 11. I am down to getting the authorization for surgery from my insurance and I am scared to death. I have battled weight all of my life and have never kept my weight off. I know I need this and I know it is what could save my life but what if it also the one thing that could take it? Any advice or motivation would be great! Thank you!

The one thing that is guaranteed to take you life at some point is your weight. It may not be tomorrow, or in a few years, but it WILL steal years off of your life. I was at a seminar this week (went with a family member) and the new STATs on the sleeve are amazing. The surgery itself is safer than having your gallbladder removed. The complication rates are extremely low. The anesthesia risk is there, of course, but it would be if you were getting your wisdom teeth removed or having a c-section, etc.

You are allowed to be scared, of course, everyone is at some point in this process. You have to make sure you are 100% confident in your surgeon, talk the anesthesiologist too (you may have to request that). Follow your pre-op and post op instructions to the letter. This might be considered to be an "elective" surgery, but realistically is is not. You need this to gain control over your life. To be healthy and to remain healthy for your boys.

(((hugs))) You are going to do great!

[BigGirlPanties 957]

I agree with all the above... the overall situation is the only way to "survive life" at this stage, is for the surgery to be done... all have risks... but, if you are anything like me, right now I cannot do anything! I feel like a total BLOB, and with my arthritis, can't do a thing...seriously... so this is the only thing that will help me... and tho I am scared a bit of the surgery, I know the overall benefit is SO worth it!

[mjessica 2]

I am scared too. I have three children: 9,7, &5. I am divorced from their father due to abuse and infidelity issues on his part. He lives 200 miles away and has a very up & down life style. Their lives would be ruined if something happens to me. But, I feel like I might not live very long at this size because now I am having so many medical problems.

[MinaT 669]

I worried internally a bit about the surgery myself and realized, I would rather die trying to lose than to lay down and die not trying. It got me through it. I am proud of my decision to this and I am proud of putting so much effort into getting healthy.

[BrickHouse 358]

I would rather die trying to lose than to lay down and die not trying.

Yes, exactly this. Very well put.

[sunnymama10 5]

Hi! I also know how you feel. I am 35 yrs young with a 4yr old and a 10 month old. I was so nervous but knew that it was for the best to have the surgery. I am 2 weeks post op and am doing very good. I want to be there for my girls and with this surgery i know that i will be able to keep up with them and have an active life. All surgeries are scary, but just know that in the long run it will benefit both you and your children by being a health mommy.

[Banned member 320]

I have 3 kids, my son has autism, and my youngest will be 12 months old when I go in for surgery. I worry about the possibility of dying also but I have to do this for me. My kids deserve a healthy mom who has energy and wants to go out and do outdoor activities with them. I'm dreading the recovery but I know that this is something that I have to do for me.

[Amberl77 3]

Thank you everyone for your advice and encouragement! That means a lot to me! I would love for this to be an easy choice to make but it isn't! I know I need the help but the hard part for me is I keep questioning it because I am scared and I don't have a lot of health issues except for sleep apnea. I also know though that if I don't do something soon I will have more issues than this! I hope that by meeting people on hear and talking with people that are going through this same process I will start to feel more at ease and confident with my decision.

[NeedASleeve 11]

Amber.. I can totally relate.. My surgery is on Monday.. I am getting a serious case of cold feet... I have the same fears as you.. My twins are 18 months.. And I am so worried about the surgery.. Not the pain and recovery.. But I know I need this.. I have been way over 200 pounds for 10 years.. I am miserable, and I feel like I have fought so hard to lose in my 30's.. And I am heavier.. So, what makes mr think I will be able to divot in my 40's.. Which is right around the corner.. I feel your anxiety.. I am living it too.. Thinking of you as you make your decision.. All the best to you..

[lovex5 25]

Completely know what you're going through. I started this process so long ago and hit so many walls that i felt like though i was pursuing it, it wouldnt ever happen. Well i got my surgery date last week and now i am very nervous and anxious.