Skinny Women

[DeLarla 22]

This is gonna be a long post, so either move on, or grab a cup of Jo:

This is to apologize for all the skinny women I've judged as being a bitch just because they look good. It's wrong of me... it's wrong for any of us, to snare at cute, thin girls. I myself have made many derogatory comments and often judge the skinny book by the skinny cover.

After spending the weekend with my 90 pound, big booby friend, she taught me a lot about what it's like to have a rockin' body. My other friend, Jessica, has the same type of figure, and she topped off everything I learned, so I got a double-scoop of what it's like to be thin.

Thin women hate comments we (me, anyway) make about how lucky they are to be thin. They hate the extra attention men give them, because they never know when men are being genuine. Both friends said they have very few heavy friends, and that's why they love me so much, cuz most heavy women automatically hate them. Jessica hates being thin and tries gaining weight so that people will treat her normally. She said she feels like how really, really rich people feel since she's never sure if people like her for her personality or because she wears a size 1. Skinny girls with big boobs never get looked at in the eye. Sure, there are lots of bimbos that get fake boobs because they are shallow and don't want men to know their minds, but I'm talking about the average cutie at 7-11 or at the lake that we just love to hate for no reason.

I could go on and on, but I won't. I love my skinny friends. I don't want to hurt them any more.

Just wanted to throw this out there and see what comes back.

xoxo

[hagerteresa 3]

My two best friends are skinny. One is my life long friends and ex-stepsister of 14 years, and the other is an extremely skinny gay hair dresser who has been one of my closest friends for 12 years. He had a major surgery gone bad last year and nearly died. He had to lie cut open from groin to chin in a intentional coma-like state for a month last year in the ICU. Went from being a normal 210 lb 6'1" guy to weighing 125 lbs. He still is trying to gain weight back.

I don't have anything against skinny people but I have an absolute dislike to mean spirited people. I always thought it was the norm that heavy women don't hang out together. A lot of heavy people I have known in my life go around with a huge chip on their shoulder and a superiorority complex. Sorry no offense to anyone. This is coming from a person who has usually outweighed almost every friend she has had anyway. I have this internal image of myself as graceful and lovely. It is only when I see pictures of myself or my bones ache that I realize I am not that graceful person at all. Since I have always been heavy, my reality is a bit messed up:) T

[New Hope 37]

Well, I caught a glimpse of myself in an Academy Sports Store Saturday. I was dismayed at how fat I still looked. But my hubby asked me when's the last time that I'd looked at myself in a mirror. It's been years. So, thanks hubby, Great answer!

[New Hope 37]

And I agree with you. Skinny people don't want us sizing them up all the time. They just want to be your friend. Sort of the same thing that you want from them. Friends that you can trust to see all your warts and bad moods, and still be there for you. Those types of friends aren't cut out of any particular mold. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and if you're lucky enough to have one or two ---- you know it and they're counted as one of your most precious possessions. A true friend doesn't judge you by your size, hair color, skin color, how you dress, etc. They're there through thick and thin. They're a rare breed.

[donali 57]

You mean skinny girls are people too?!?!?!?!

Really, Lisa, I'm sure all the skinny girls out there accept your apology. The ones that matter, anyway.

One of my dearest friends is skinny. She is a recovering alcoholic. She is like a soulmate, and totally understands my food addiction. I can always turn to her with my weight despairs, because she's been through all the same things with alcohol.

So you're right, Lisa. Skinny girls ARE people too...

Teresa, you ARE graceful and lovely.

[tellie 0]

Hey! I have always been the fattest of my friends. I guess I have always had the double personality thing happening too, where I hated fat me in private and forgot I was fat in public. And if you dont make a big deal about your size, or pretend you dont know, people pretend not to notice either! ( I was going to say that that theory doesnt work in elementary school.... but the truth is, whomever noticed back then got beaten up badly .... see? how scary is the double personality thing?)

I am still the fattest of them all, but the gap is a bit smaller now...

Now, having skinny parents, that was hard! I was 10 when I could fit in my moms clothes, and by 12, I couldnt any more!

cheers!

tellie

ps, my mom who has grown a few sizes since menopause ( but is still smaller than me, way) has this thing on a wall that reads: " God, if you cant make me thin, make my friends fat" Her skinny friends are not amused, the fat ones laugh. Which proves we do have a better sense of humour.

[La_madam 20]

I hear you Lisa

My mother was thin as a rail and all her life people used to say " you are so skinny" after years of this she started to get angry about those comments. She used to say to me. "why is it that a person will say you are so skinny but will never walk up to a person who is overweight and say you are so fat" It used to drive her batty. Have you ever heard of anyone walking up to a fat person telling them you are so fat? Like we do to our skinny friends by telling them constantly how thin they are. Thin people take offense to it just as us fat people do. Some thin people cant help it, my mother was one of them.

[nightingale2u 42]

Yep... I'm a member of the skinny friends club as well! Maybe I thought that I would "catch" the skinny bug if I got close enough!

When I was working in an OBGYN clinic... the one thing I noticed was that MOST women regardless of their size were terrified of the scale and their own worst critic. What bothered me most was the comments that the other nurses would make if someone was "too fat" or "too skinny"... there was no winning. I can say that the obese patients were judged as out of control failures which was never the case with the "skinny" people. I was constantly amazed at how a clinic full of women that were always "trying" to lose weight could have so little compassion for those that were losing the battle.

While I agree that it is wrong to judge anyone regardless of their size... I do think that obese people face a lot more prejudice and adversity than the "skinny" folks. People that are thin are represented by every form of media and are accepted as "normal". I don't have anything against the skinny people... I just want to be one of them! I want the world to see me as a normal and quite frankly hope that one day someone will walk up to me and say "Sheesh... you are SKINNY"!

I love my skinny friends... and they love me... but I would bet my life savings that they don't sit around saying... Damn... I wish I could be a size 28 like Darcy!

[Vera 7]

Wow Lisa Good thread

Driving into work today I was thinking of how I've been perceived lately here at work. I work with about 300 people, last week I was cruising past two girls and overheard one say she's a "Bitch" I turned and said Sharon are you talking about me? She laughed and said "my daughter and I have a name for skinny girls like you". At first I was shocked I couldn't believe what she said so I mentioned it to another co-worker, Insook, and she said "that's bitch in a good way". Now she calls me Bitch every time I see her. Only a few people know about my band here at work and most have commented on my weight-loss. I get this feeling from some that its competition, that I'm getting thinner then them and they don't like it. I seem to get along with bigger people better as I try to be friendly with everyone I notice some thinner girls are not very nice to me, maybe I'm stepping on their turf? Maybe one of you can suggest how I can deal with them or should I just ignore it. I get sensitive.

[Alexandra 55]

I don't owe my skinny friends any apologies. I've been fat for so long that I've completely repressed any tendency to compare myself to them on any physical level. The worst thing I've ever said to a thin friend (and all of mine are thin, it seems) is "you don't understand" when they've tried to give me advice on diet.

Donali, it's funny what you say about your friend the alcoholic. Two of my best friends are in that boat, and they are the only people I am completely honest with when it comes to my weight, body issues, whatever. The subject just never comes up with my other friends; they've learned they can't say anything that is helpful and much that might be hurtful. People in (successful) recovery are so accepting of others' personal issues that it feels safe to talk about it with them.

Having always been the only fat girl in my social circles, I've always taken the role of the friend where boys are concerned. I don't regret that, actually, and have more male friends than anyone I know as a result. Young women who think of themselves--or who are forced to by society, i.e., who are beautiful and sexy--primarily as objects of attraction often don't get that opportunity. It's possibly the only side effect of obesity that I've not hated with a vengeance my whole life.

[DeLarla 22]

Clapping, great responses girls! I started this post because of Jessica, my size 1 file clerk. Every time the poor thing walks in the lunch room, 3 people start bitching at her for being so thin. She's brings pies and Cookies and crap to work so that regular people see her as a normal eater. She comes to my office close to tears (mind you she's only 21 so she's still very self-conscious.) Then my sister, who is older yet very thin, has guys dropping at her feet. It digusts me that they'd use me as a doormat to step on just to get closer to my sister. My sister hates the skinny attention because she used to be fat.

Vera, I think you pegged it best. Thanks everyone for opening up. It's been an issue for me since my very oldest friend looks like Pamela Anderson. She used to sing, "I've got the looks, you've got the brains, let's make lots of money..." But she HATED all the drippy guys drooling all over her, and she'd go off on them for not talking to me, who'd be standing next to her. So I ended up being her body guard to keep some of the pigs away.

The grass is always greener... But no, I've never heard, "I wish I weighed 300 pounds like you."

[bbrecruiter2000 1]

De Larla,

Sorry to pop your bubble, but how many skinny people are reading your apology here? LOL!!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I admit it, I have judged books by their covers and more than once in my life I have predetermined without ever speaking to a thin good looking woman in public that she was a bimbolina human trampolina just because she had a great body. I will apologize for this indiscretion.

I have to admit thatI didnt have any obese friends before being banded. (still trying to figure out the significance of this....)

Years ago, when I was in my 20's, my sister and I got into a major argument. Please don't laugh, but I pointed out to her that her bra strap was hanging out of her tank top. Thought she might want to know. She accused me of being jealous my whole life of the fact that she was thin and thats why I was nitpicking. We didnt speak after this argument for several months. I thought about what she said and honestly I have never been jealous of my skinny sisters.

My oldest sister has never had to work hard at being thin. She eats boxes of Teddy Grahams at 11;00 pm at night, doesnt exercise and maintains a weight in the 140's.

Actually, since I have been banded, I think more of the insensitivity of all my thin family members. My sister had a whole discussion with me on the phone about how delicious those Teddy Grahams are and how I should buy some. I have to admit at this point in the conversation with her, I started to feel a little angry and hostile (and maybe a little jealous) that she could eat these foods and maintain her svelte figure.

I know, I know, am getting off topic. I do that sometimes.

Babs in TX

334/214/170

-120

[bbrecruiter2000 1]

Lisa, (OT)

I was just looking at your photo and noticed the portless text. That made me think of a good movie:

"Portless in Nevada". Do you think I could get those folks at Project Greenlight to give me a milliion dollars to make a movie with this title?

I hope you have a sense of humour...... Dont kill me...

Babs in TX

[claraluz 2]

What all of this says to me is that we live in a society (as if we didn't know) which causes women to evaluate themselves against an impossible standard and to find themselves lacking whether they are fat, thin, short, tall, have freckles, are too white, too black etc. I've never hated thin people, but I have to admit that I do notice that I look at women and critique their appearance. I'm ashamed of it, but I do it. I hope that one day our society will get healthier, but throughout my lifetime it has only gotten worse. Did you know that a lot of the models in magazines are beyond air brushed? They are actually retouched by computers so that they are literally more perfect than it is possible for any human being to be. No wonder we hate our bodies.

Nancy

[DeLarla 22]

I'm apologizing to the skinny girls in my head. Don't you guys know I have telepathic powers? This board got a little too quiet, so from now on I'm thinking of topics to get us all chatting and we all like to talk about skinny women!

Once this skinny women with huge hooties was walking towards me & hubby at a restaurant. She looked amazing, like Pamela Anderson. My good hubby tried so hard to be polite and not look at her, so I told him, "hell honey, go ahead and look cuz I'd even *&%^%& her!."

I think of my computer as being at a meeting, and like they say in O.A., "If you're at a meeting, at least you're not eating."

Babs, good one.. Portless In Nevada, but who will play DeLarla? Donali, I hope.

Bimbolina the human trampolina... trying to picture that one.