Blugirl 42 Posted September 20, 2012 I was sleeved May 1st, and according to my dr. and medical charts I am 15 lbs away from my goal weight. I am wearing a size 6, and I am 5'4. I feel awesome!!!!!! However........ I meet people everyday who tell me I already look too thin!!! At first it was flattering, but now ita obnoxious, and frustrating to know that I "am not there yet" and people are telling me to "stop losing", that I am "obsessed" and so on... 1 7carol3 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TamaraS 235 Posted September 20, 2012 congrats on getting close to your goal so fast! How much have you lost? 1 Esme reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
POOHBEAR7699 41 Posted September 20, 2012 OMG!!!! I felt this way just last week, one of my co-workers told me that I looked great with the weight I have lost so far, but that if they were me they wouldn't lose anymore. I know that the look that I gave to her was one that if looks could kill she would have fallen right there. The thing that "pi*sed*" off was the fact the person who said this is about 5'6 and she might weigh 100lbs soak & wet w/sand in her shoes. I was so aggravated because for a person who has never had a problem with their weight or has never had to shop at Ashley Stewart, Lane Bryant, or go to Wal-Mart and not buy something that has the worse patterns would not understand just how we feel. I decided right then & there that I will not allow anyone take me to that place again, I made the decision to have this surgery(as a tool) to keep me as a healthy individual and not encounter the health problems that plague my family. So keep your head up and don't let it get to you. As long as you are happy with whatever weight you want to maintain thats all that matters;) 7 JamaicanGirl2011, jayecat, LessofKelly and 4 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gmanbat 5,889 Posted September 20, 2012 It takes folks a while to get used to the new you. People, being the selfish, lazy slugs that they are, would rather do anything than adjust their thinking. So they attempt to adjust you regardless of how you feel or the improvement to your health. Next time they offer their bologna ask them nicely, "How much over my doctor recommended weight would be good for you?" 10 Banned member, 7carol3, Threetimesacharm and 7 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouiseC 1,031 Posted September 20, 2012 It is a very weird reaction. I have had a couple of people tell me I should stop now and not lose too much more weight. It is crazy to hear as I am still obese, with a BMI of 33 and about 45 pounds from goal. I have looked at these people with an extreme WTF expression and really not known how to take it. I have each time decided they were trying to be nice and say I looked good. This feels much better than thinking they were trying to hurt or sabotage me in some way. So take it as a compliment and move on. The best thing about this approach is you spend no time in angst over their comments AND if they did mean to be nasty then they have failed because you didn't react :-) 4 gmanbat, RunningGranny, 7carol3 and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
7carol3 212 Posted September 20, 2012 I have heard this myself, many times. "Don't you think you've lost enough now?" "I think you looked a little better with more meat on your bones." or how about "Your face is really starting to show your age now that you're thin." Ugh! My therapist tells me to take these statements as a person noticing my incredible accomplishment and not really knowing how to approach me about the subject. I guess they think it is flattering to hear I am now too thin? I do try to stay positive about it but part of me thinks it is as unflattering as telling me, at 265 pounds, that I really needed to lose some weight. I do have to agree about the age showing in my face now. I guess that one really hurts because, as they say, the truth hurts! 2 Need-a-Sleeve and ProudGrammy reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kyllfalcon 768 Posted September 20, 2012 Yeah, when I took the picture in my avatar, I was still many pounds heavier and my face and skin looked good. Now, many pounds lighter, not so much! Oh well, we can't have it all, can we? 2 7carol3 and Threetimesacharm reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ProudGrammy 8,322 Posted September 20, 2012 [ that if they were me they wouldn't lose anymore. Blugirl, POOHBEAR7699 People are never satisfied - a few months ago that same person might have said "if she were you, she would loose X amount lbs." now that you have lost all this weight, she tells you that she "doesn't think you should loose anymore" if you feel you can weigh X amount, and dr agrees - GO FOR IT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
COsleeveDude 273 Posted September 20, 2012 food for thought: Many sleevers do have an obsession with the idea of hitting a "random" lower goal number on the scale or BMI chart, and it doesn't always have anything to do with health or looks. There's no question that I've run into people who look way, way too thin after weight loss surgery. If we didn't care what other people thought, we wouldn't be interested in losing weight. Assuming that someone says one looks too thin may be a negative comment, or it may be a constructive comment. Kind of like if someone says "you're fat and I find that unattractive" vs. "you need to lose weight because I care about you and your health." 2 kryssaboo and gmanbat reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blugirl 42 Posted September 20, 2012 congrats on getting close to your goal so fast! How much have you lost? thank you!!! I have lost 80 lbs! 1 TamaraS reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blugirl 42 Posted September 20, 2012 It takes folks a while to get used to the new you. People' date=' being the selfish, lazy slugs that they are, would rather do anything than adjust their thinking. So they attempt to adjust you regardless of how you feel or the improvement to your health. Next time they offer their bologna ask them nicely, "How much over my doctor recommended weight would be good for you?"[/quote'] wow! awesome tip! you are right!!! thank you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slojo 150 Posted September 20, 2012 I know! when i tell people i'm just getting started on my weight loss and have 48 lbs left to lose they say thingsl like you'll look sick, or that's too little. But i just reply that that is what I want to weigh. THe key word in that reply is "I", it doesn't matter what" they" say I should weigh. I want to weigh about 120 lbs, i didnt pay cash for surgery to just lose 21 lbs! 1 7carol3 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Territravel 217 Posted September 20, 2012 Just smile and thank them for their opinion. And like **holes, we each have our own! Be happy in yourself, that's what it all comes down to... . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blugirl 42 Posted September 21, 2012 yea! thank you guys! I am glad to hear I am not the only one getting these comments. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites