How And When Did You...

[Queen In Me 36]

I've already post this in the pre surgery section but I thought I'd get a better response here since everyone has "been there done that"...I'm new to the site but i've been lerking around for a little while now...I decide that I want to have the Sleeve surgery and I started my process as of August the 30th. I am so excited to get this thing on the road...but no ones knows about my excitement (except you guys now...lol). I'm so nervous to tell anyone, especially my family about my plans to have surgery for weight loss. My biggest thing is I don't want to hear a whole bunch of grief about " your young enough to lose it I on my own" or "eat less, work out more" blah blah blah...I'm 26 years old and I been considering this surgery for at least the last 2 year, I've tried working out, dieting...all of the above and it hasn't worked (Sorry for venting) But to get to the question...My question to you all is how do you tell someone that your having this surgery, how did they react and at what point did you mention it to your friends, family and etc that you was getting surgery...

Thanks for reading...

[desertmom 297]

Hi

Welcome and I hope that this sleeve will help you have a wonderful,active,happy ,looooong life.

If I could have done it at 26,I would have!That was 2 years after I had doubled my bodyweight.I had already lost and gained 100 pounds of the 140 I had gained initially and would do this another 8 times before I was sleeved this year.

Go for it but make very sure you use this to get thin and stay thin.Make the ajustments,learn how to eat right,stay at little portions,dont make excuses and ENJOY YOUR LIFE!

Good luck

[PEvette 297]

I would tell them exactly what you told us....that's what I did when I told my family, and I was ready for the backlash....but to my surprise, no backlash....

I have so much support now from my family now....even when I was in the hospital for the surgery, my cousins called and texted me giving me inspirational words and prayers (my family has 5 preachers) and encouragement....on Facebook I post about my progress and doctor appts...in code of course (its really no one's business if you had surgery or not) and they know what I am saying and they motivate me on there....

[doxieville 799]

Welcome!! You've asked the million dollar question.....I suggest that you do a search on here and you'll find quite a few discussions on this topic. Some people are pretty darn passionate about their responses. :-).

I picked a select few to tell and have let it go at that. Personally, I just don't want to deal with other people's issues and drama because I'm very low-key. The joy of this surgery is you lose it gradually and mostly consistently and it can mimic the benefits of following a stable weight loss plan. I may tell people later, or i may say I've been going to see a nutritionist. Or i may smile & wink. All those are MY choices. You need to deal with this how YOU want to deal with it. Not what your friends and family want for you. They don't live in your body, they do.

The only advice I do have is that if you have lots of family events that involve food, you may find it easier to tell people because you WILL be eating differently and that's harder to hide, although not impossible. For now, maybe just tell a few people who you KNOW will suport you. Just remember though, once you've told one person, your secret isn't a secret anymore.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy this board. We can be a rowdy group at times.

[carolc 94]

Congrats on your decision!

Initially I only told my best friend and of course I discussed with my husband. I am a very sensitive person and I tend to take negative comments way to hard. Knowing this, i kept it pretty quiet for a long time. Since then i have told more people but i usually start with "i am telling you this because I know that you will be supportive of me, I have done all the research and have made this decision..."

That leaves little room for negative comments, although I have had 2 people that couldn't help themselves.

I wish you the best!

[desertmom 297]

If you are mentally comfortable with lying,do so!If not dont! I know this is blunt but I am being very serious!You should be happy with telling or not!When asked directly,what will you say?

We can colour things any way we want,say what we want...as long as we are comfortable with whatever we say or do.And a lot of people can justify it in all kinds of ways and feel just fine with that.

You decide what is important to you.

[Bright Future 9]

Welcome

I am relatively new to the site, in spite of the fact that I was sleeved in the end of July. I was so nervous of what my family and friends would think of me, and didn't want to be the one that people pointed at because I couldn't lose the weight on my own. On the other side, I also didn't want to continue to be the fat person that I had become either! When I finally told my family (some actually after the surgery) I was truly amazed how supportive everyone has been. I have also told close friends, and they are equally supportive. I think you will find that once you tell the first person it gets easier to tell others. I get a bit misty because my husband and two kids are my biggest cheerleaders now, and frequently tell me how proud they are that I did this.

I wish you much luck and success in your journey.

[Patienlywtng on my Curves 73]

Hi Queen,

I told my mom and my sister right away. Although I did with hesitation, they were supportive. One friend from work knows only because I wanted his reaction...exactly what I got was they 'Why'. There are 3 other friends who also know and are very supportive. To them, it's my decision and that is all!

The reason my mom and sister know is because I need them to be here with me....LOL! Can I say that even though they both support my decision, I don't think they really care for me to go this route.

I didn't have to give much of an explanantion except to my one co-worker. I am currently on Weight Watchers so if anyone else asks then that is what I am doing. I have been ridiculed enough in my lifetime for weight issues, but the choice to do something different, I will not stand for!

I would say when comfortable, offer the reason if asked, weighing the tone of the conversation. If it comes to a point of being judgemental, drop it on them...with the that settles it tone! LOL

[N/A 96]

Congratulations to you! I wish I had done this years ago. This is my 50th birthday present to myself! My surgery is in 4 days. I've been very private about sharing this with anyone other than two friends. One is a support person who lives local to me. The other is a gf whose husband had this three years ago but they live over two hours away from me. I have three adult children, and 14 year old twins who just started high school so their lives are very busy. I just didnt want to tell them because of my concern that with them telling their father will have negative impact. He hasn't moved on since we ended the relationship ten years ago and he is bitter. I only told my work that I am having surgery (they don't know real reason) and I have kept this from my other friends as well. I guess I personally am more comfortable being private. It's up to your comfort level who you trust. Good luck with everything!

[BigMommaNoMore 41]

I didn't tell anyone except my boyfriend and my father and my children before surgery. I didn't want the negative criticisms or people asking "why". I am three weeks out now and down 21 pounds and it is obvious that I'm doing something right because I'm getting lots of compliments and questions about how much weight I've lost. I initially wasn't going to fess up to anyone but have since been telling everyone that asks. I plan to make it Facebook official the day that I am under 200 lbs which will be any day now. It has been really easy telling the truth and I've honestly had no one to be negative. I've had more people say "I've wondered or thought about doing weight loss surgery for a long time". I feel like I can help people who thought they had no hope now. There is an option and assistance to help get they weight off FOREVER!! Above all, I decided I wasn't going to lie about something I'm proud of. Yes, I had surgery to help me but I'm having to work for my goals still.

Good luck to you and congrats on your decision to be healthier. Above all, do what you are comfortable with and what you can live with.

Remember, Those that matter won't care what you've done to improve and lengthen your life and those that don't care don't matter.

[Izuri 428]

I'm 25 and told my immediate family and told them it was okay to tell people. My mom is very close with my grandmother, and my grandmother is a chatterbox. As soon as my mom told her, my entire family knew. Like one day after she told her, I was getting messages from my cousins about it. Everyone has been really supportive. I haven't heard/seen everyone in my extended family yet, but I have a feeling they will all be happy for me. The classmates I have told in school all seem really happy for me. I just told another one of them the other day and he said that he knew I had lost a lot but wasn't sure if he should say anything - but that he was really happy for me. That was nice to hear.

The only person that hasn't seemed as supportive is one teacher. I hadn't originally planned on telling her, just wanted to make her aware that I am 7 weeks post op from a GI surgery and she asked what and I told her and it was hard to gauge her reaction since I don't really know her. Either way, now she knows in case of emergency, so whatever. Oh, now that I think about it one of my friends was very unsupportive pre-op. I told him that I was doing it for my health and I appreciated his input, but that I would still be going through with it. And post-op I can tell you for sure anyone who says it's the easy way out (I got that a couple times) has NO clue what it's like =p

I think it's easier to let it get through the grapevine than tell everyone up front - that way they know and if it comes up it does and if not then it doesn't really matter. I'm glad I told people, because eventually they will notice anyway and this way I've already dealt with the question of how I lost it. If they don't like it or disagree, that's fine,

[Queen In Me 36]

Well as of today I decided to test the waters and tell someone that is close to me. I told my "guyfriend", well better yet...I texted my "guyfriend"...I was that nervous...and to my suprise...he was very supportive. He thinks its a extreme move (which it is) but I explained him my reasonings for this and he accepted it. I feel so much better being that I know I can talk to him about this, and knowing the biggest thing he's not going to judge me for it..Now I got to work myself up to talk to my mom about it...that's going to be the kicker...Thanks you guys for taking the time to respond

[Queen In Me 36]

So at what point did you guys tell your family? When you first started looking in VSG? When you got your surgery date? Please share...

[Patienlywtng on my Curves 73]

I talked to a college classmate who had RNY first, to ask questions regarding the experience. Then researched and had my first appointment. Weighed my options, oh...came here to this site, then I told. It made it easier for me.

I figured, if I would not have the support of my family, I at least had two friends that would help me along. It's all working out.