How And When To Tell Someone Your Having Surgery..

[ladiJ 83]

I think there is a difference between telling friends, family and the world..ie coworkers, neighbors etc.."the world"

does not have to be told anything at this point that you don't want to share. As for family and specifically those closest

to you, you have to be sure and secure in your own decision and then I would say

My doctor and I have decided the vertical gastric sleeve

is the best option for my continued health at this time" so I am starting the process..if she says you could lose it on your own, its dangerous blah blah..I would just repeat, "well my doctor and I disagree with you and I really need your understanding and support even if I do not have your agreement" Thanks (mom or fill in blank) I knew I could depend on you. Lather, rinse, repeat as needed.

I had this conversation with a loved one already

[for-and-only-me 5]

I am new to the site also and I am scheduled for Wednesday to have mine done. Ok course I spoke ro my husband about it from the beginning. I have not been going around telling people. I did tell my mom and my sister just because I know I will need their support and they have been supportive since day one on this journey. You will run across someone that will try and talk you out of it but as for me, I prayed , prayed some more and I am comfortable with my decision and my soul is at peace and I am ready for my new journey to begin.

New me, new you... blessings

[Lissa 2,631]

I told, and tell, anyone who will listen about my surgery. I've received very little negative feedback, but I always preface my story with "Before surgery, I was given a year to live", which shuts most people up quickly. It's true that I was handed a death sentence...and I'm thrilled to say that I'm still here over a year out.

[Jessica9190 127]

I don't know how to tell either

[scaredoftheunknown 95]

I don't mind telling people I was having it done. What bothered me was they would look at me and say but why you are small you don't need it...or what is your dr. Thinking? When I did tell them that it was health reasons they immediately gave me support.

[Look@meitsEmily 26]

I told everyone which I don't suggest. I have a "friend" that tells everyone's business to everyone so be careful who you tell. I think telling people takes away from the hard work you're about to endure... good luck!

[dlinnh 44]

I too started this journey on August 30th. Just got a surgery date of November 12Th!. I struggle with who to tell and who not to tell. I did tell my immediate boss (I work in a school, so there are a LOT of people I work with) and I told my mother, two close friends and my 18 year old daughter oh and obviously my significant other (he is super supportive).

So that said, I am worried about telling too many people, because I don't want the pressure of everyone looking at me everyday wondering if I lost a pound or two overnight! Imagine the stress of walking through work with people looking to see if your pants are getting baggy?? LOL My problem is that people will want to know why I'm out for a whole week. My boss and I are going to say it is just "laparo. surgery" and leave it at that. Most people will think it is female related.

The problem down the road, becomes when they see all the dramatic weight loss and wonder "how you did it"! Do you come clean then, or simply tell them you are hitting Protein drinks hard? I am so confused about this topic also....

[Queen In Me 36]

Well I took some of you guys advice and I test the Water and told my guyfriend...I was really nervous, I was so nervous that I just told him in text message. And to my suprise he actually made me feel better about telling him. I told me he would be very supportive. For granted he did have a lot of question as to why I wanted to go this route and he thinks its an extreme move (in which I do agree with him), but at the same time I told him this is something I made my mind up about and there is no changing it. But overall I explained him the overall "big picture" for my reasoning. So, sooner than later I got to gather some courage to tell my mom...that's going to be the kicker there...

[missrose59 9]

Im 53, you would think at my age it would be easier. But it isnt, my daughter is supportive but scared. My son is totally against it, he thinks I can just eat better and exercise more. My own mother and siblings are trying to be supportive but like my daughter they are worried about the possibilities of complications. And my husband he is neither supportive or negative I think he has seen me through so many diets he this is probably just one more to him. Soooooo for a while I decided against it. But I kept researching and even though Im nervous I really want the rest of my life to be healthier. So I found this site and decided to continue my doctor had already referred me so I made my appointment for orientation. I didnt tell anyone Im proceeding, I will tell them when I have my surgery date. That way I can stay focused and positive. Its all about thinking positive from here on out. Good luck young lady, I will follow you..

[Queen In Me 36]

@dlinnh...WOW...you got your date fast...I'm so jealous...I cant even complete my application until after my final dietary. I'm really shooting to have surgery before the new year...

[Queen In Me 36]

So at what point did you guys tell your family? When you first started looking in VSG? When you got your surgery date?

[Cookeeeeez 269]

Mine is a long way away but I told my mum the day my doctor suggested it. I was in terrible pain and said I would try to lose weight as much as possible in the meantime but that this option has to considered seriously.

Mum was unsure, she had considered it when she was younger but it was a bigger deal then and she had young kids to consider.

She sent me some information, a lot negative of ppl with leaks/infections. But over last four months has come to accept that it will happen.

My partners parents were told shortly after (my partner is covering fees with his inheritance) but they don't disagree they just don't understand (weight is no no no issue in their family)! They just prefer not to talk about these sort of things but I know pat and I will have their help when the time comes.

I was super judgemental about my lil sisters breast implants but she is very supportive of my choice.

My older sister was told by mum and of course is jealous, passive aggressive, and generally nasty! She can bite my a$$, I don't care what that awful beast thinks! Lol (I can hardly believe the torturer of my youth and lead bully about my weight could dare object to me getting in shape!)

My best (and only really) friend is struggling with her weight recently and is having trouble with diets. She is really supportive and excited and curious. She may be considering the gastric balloon as a temp solution to her minor gains.

All other people have been politely confused and unsure but I avoid very lengthy questions. I just state facts, remind them it's not exactly cosmetic surgery (how many preconceive it).

[Butterthebean 8,146]

All I know is it's very liberating telling everyone. I didn't advertise it much before surgery. But after the first month when I had lost 40 pounds people were noticing. And they are gonna ask how you lost the weight. They can't help themselves. As if there are multiple options. I always lead with the fact that people with 100 pounds or more to lose have virtually zero chance of taking it off and keeping it off, not through a lack of will power, but our physiology makes it nearly impossible. Losing 100 pounds is not like losing 20. They will counter with their best friends cousins daughters boyfriends dog trainer lost 300 pounds and looks great. Well, first of all, for every one of those, there are a thousand who fail. And secondly, he probably had surgery too and kept it a secret.

The reason I had surgery in the first place is because one of my coworkers had bypass and was very open about it. He lost his weight and he didn't mind sharing his story with me or anyone else. Up to that point I never considered surgery because I thought I would have to keep it a secret. Once I realized that he had surgery and that all of my fellow coworkers really didn't think it was a big deal I realized that people really aren't as concerned with what we do as we think they are. They are too busy living their own lives.

And even if a few think it's the easy way out.....so what? I have still lost the weight. I am healthier and they are still the same miserable people. I feel much better than I would if I was trying to keep a secret.

[GlitteringGoldParodox 36]

Well I took some of you guys advice and I test the Water and told my guyfriend...I was really nervous' date=' I was so nervous that I just told him in text message. And to my suprise he actually made me feel better about telling him. I told me he would be very supportive. For granted he did have a lot of question as to why I wanted to go this route and he thinks its an extreme move (in which I do agree with him), but at the same time I told him this is something I made my mind up about and there is no changing it. But overall I explained him the overall "big picture" for my reasoning. So, sooner than later I got to gather some courage to tell my mom...that's going to be the kicker there...[/quote']

I'm so happy it worked out for you. A few yrs ago a relative was going to get the bypass but her Internet boyfriend talked her out of it. FF to the present. My sister is getting hers done next month and the relative is so jealous. She married the Internet bf, about to divorce and now searching for ways to finance for the surgery now.

That's why I think it's a good reason not to tell most ppl until its over with. You would be surprise the influence some have over others.

Sent from my iPod touch using VST

[SoonToBeThinKAT 67]

The only person that knows is my husband. My supervisor at work knows I'll be out but he doesn't know for what. I work for a large corporation and eveything is done thru HR and MetLife for std and he doesn't get details. Aside from everyone on here no one else knows. Unfortunately I am surrounded by a LOT of judgemental people and I just don't want to hear it.