Disgusted By Others Eating

[vsginnj 415]

Has anyone noticed that it seems ok for everyone to comment on how little we eat? It drives me crazy! It was tabu to say anything to me when I was 290 lbs but now that I weigh 138 lbs it seems like everyone wants to tell me I eat like a bird or I need to eat more or flat out make fun of me. So I think the discrimination goes both ways. Sorry but darn that felt good to vent!

Oh yeah evrybody has jokes, dw telling her sister "for lunch he had a sandwich , he had 2triscuits with a chewable Vitamin in the middle" or "he and Eli (my 2 year old) had a hot dog eating contest guess who won? " it gets old fast and I bite my tongue, the other day I was accused of having an eating disorder ,really? I had my stomach removed to cure the disorder doc. And the latest, "Protein drinks aren't food" reply; I know they are not they are medicine I take for my eating disorder! Dam blu that's 150 lbs ! Work that sleeve. He who laughs last...... I feel better now too!

[fluffylibra30 323]

I am disgusted by the people who have been sleeved and are rude/disrectful to or about their significant other. My DH isn't overweight so maybe it is harder to understand, but most of our spouses loved us at our heaviest. Mine told me he loved me no matter what I weighed. Told me I was beautiful no matter how down I was feeling about myself. Never EVER said a word about what I ate, how much, how often, nothing. Just loved me unconditionally, knowing how much I was already struggling, how much I was hating myself, he would never add to it with comments.

Who would I be, what kind of person to be mean to them, or rude about what they are eating after my surgery. when a few months ago I was right there with them, or still would be without my sleeve. They deserve the same they gave us, unconditional love.

[Ready4success 380]

To all the disgusted posters: You're so perfect, but you had to have 85% of your stomach removed, so you could stop over eating. They can't control it, just like you couldn't. Talk about hypocrisy.

[vsginnj 415]

Kudos to the people who come here keeping it real"knowing that the sanctimonious People who lurk here will jump at any chance to condem. I get disgusted too but only because I see MYSELF when I watch the gross spectical people can turn mealtime into. Really guys stand down ! This is the only place some people have to work out those feelings and surely heaping condemnation on them does not help them ! Here's an old adage for the op"but for the grace of God there go I " come on where is the LOVE? Remember Matt 7:2 for with what judgement you judge, you will be judged;and with the measure you use ,it will be measured back to you. Wow this place gets hostile fast!

[LouiseC 1,031]

I am disgusted by the people who have been sleeved and are rude/disrectful to or about their significant other. My DH isn't overweight so maybe it is harder to understand' date=' but most of our spouses loved us at our heaviest. Mine told me he loved me no matter what I weighed. Told me I was beautiful no matter how down I was feeling about myself. Never EVER said a word about what I ate, how much, how often, nothing. Just loved me unconditionally, knowing how much I was already struggling, how much I was hating myself, he would never add to it with comments.

Who would I be, what kind of person to be mean to them, or rude about what they are eating after my surgery. when a few months ago I was right there with them, or still would be without my sleeve. They deserve the same they gave us, unconditional love.[/quote']

I have the kind of wonderful and loving relationship with my husband where we can be honest with one another without causing insult. Because we both are secure in our love and in our marriage it is fine for either one of us to say things that may be perceived as disrespectful by others. He will tell me if I am wearing something unflattering, for example, and I love him for it. Even when he says "oi, fatty, your butt looks huge like that, wear the red one instead it is way nicer". Others can perceive this however they want but I know it is said with love and respond appropriate. I am fat. Him pretending I am not does not help me. Denial got me into this mess and honesty, however brutal it may appear, will get me out of it.

So likewise if I see him heading down a dangerous path by scoffing all my leftovers, I am gonna tell him not to. I am going to point out that if he eats all that extra without increasing his exercise that it is going to add to his belly. I point out that it is better the food goes to waste than to his waist. He laughs and knows I speak the truth.

Thank goodness I have a relationship where honesty prevails. My husband was so supportive of this surgery, even when he discovered it was going to cost us $20K. Because he knew I was too big, knew I needed to lose the weight, knew I had tried and succeeded but never been able to maintain. He wants me to be healthy just like I want to be healthy. He knew I wasn't healthy and was a catalyst in pulling me out of the denial I was in by being honest about my obesity and my yo yo dieting behaviour.

That's love where we come from. Your mileage clearly varies. Fortunately for me your disgust of my love has no consequence on how I feel so we are all good.

[ReduceReuseRecycle-Me! 119]

Wow. Just...wow. Did anyone ever give up anything before? Cigarettes, booze? The worst critics are the ones who have quit something. I think that's because they are really po'd because they can't have it. It's jealousy, plain and simple. Everyone's trip is on their own path. Let them see where it takes them.

[SkinnyMinnie2Be 255]

The reason I feel disgusted over this is because people don't get help for what is such an obvious problem for some. If you're unhappy' date=' and most fat people are, take steps to change it! Whether it's a diet change, or WLS, you have to do SOMETHING to make changes for the better. I have little sympathy for those who won't take steps to help themselves. Life is too short.[/quote']

It took me 15 year to do something about it and I'm only 25..so u do the math. I'm sure many people on this site have struggled with their weight for years and it has been an obvious problem for them. I've seen people here in their late 60's getting VSG. Everyone is battling with their own demons and has their own struggles. We shouldn't be too quick to judge. I'm sure no one on here only struggled with their weight for a year and decided to do something so drastic. Sometimes people need a moment when they realize they need to take that step. That moment may come when they are 18 or 70. Look up the thread "5 things I can't wait for after surgery" or something similar. Sometimes people realize their weight is a major issue when they can't fit on a ride at the fair, or a restaurant booth, or when someone else in their life has a medical issue related to their weight or worse, dies. Don't be so quick to judge..don't forget where u came from

[Cookeeeeez 269]

Hi all!!! Myfitnesspal is blevarre I eat too much and too much bad food but I will NOT hide it! You can all look at my chocolate icecream and cheese and too much deli meat and ENTIRE footlong subs and feel however you like

I've quit smoking before and looked at other smokers with honest contempt like "ah you addicted idiots sucking that tar into your lungs"

But look who's smokin again!!! <------- I am!!!!

It's ok to feel disgust, we really are doing disgusting things to our bodies, but please, always remember to have compassion and remember you all have your own straw and some of our straws come later than others and some won't get the chance to fix it before they break their backs...

Peace and love

[jennrus 176]

Believe me, I'm not proud of these feelings. I know it's wrong. Being honest about how I feel. Surprising how many different feelings and emotions this journey brings up. It was my understanding this was a safe place to share those. You who have judged me for my original post are no better.

[doxieville 799]

Is it my imagination or are alot of people coming down way too hard on the OP?

Personally' date=' I feel nothing but compassion when I see a 300 pounder at a restaurant eating a big meal. I want to slip him my surgeon's number so badly, but I don't. But at work, it's another story. My coworkers are people I know and get along with. And the guys I eat lunch with talk about nothing else but losing weight and getting back in shape. Yet, they typically eat 1000 or more calories at lunch. Keep in mind, we have a very physically demanding job and we work in the heat so a big meal is not the best thing to eat around here.

I know the calories because while they eat and talk about how healthy they are for only bringing a half piece of chocolate cake for dessert, I'm adding up their 4 pieces of fried chicken and 3 cups of rice on MFP just to see what they are eating. I don't share it with them, but I want to know because this is how I used to eat as well. The difference is, I didn't pretend I was eating healthy.

The other day my boss brought a container of oatmeal raisin Cookies to work and called it a "healthy snack". I checked the nutritional information....1 of those healthy Cookies was the same calories and carbs as 4 oreos. Wow, real healthy. These guys are kidding themselves. It's like the Tale of the Walking Wounded around here. Most of them cannot tie their shoes without passing out, and they get a serious injury checking they're email and end up on light duty for 6 weeks. Then spend all day talking about what studs they were in high school. The heck with high school, I'm 43 and I'm gonna run a 10K before I'm 44.

So I guess what I'm saying is, it's not the gluttony that irritates me....it's the denial.[/quote']

Hey ButterTheBean,

I've noticed with my husband that he truly doesn' understand food & calories. A few years ago I had him join weight watchers with me and I was really shocked at how little he knew. He honestly DID think that eating the oatmeal cookie was a healthy alternative. I had to hold his hand and take him back to the very beginning of what eating healthy really means. (not that it worked for me since i needed the surgery!)

Aren't many guys are too embaressed to admit that they don't know something?. I was married to the guy for 10 years before he'd admit he didnt understand what a carb meant. We tend to assume that they have learned by osmosis thru all our dieting. :-)

I don't have a clue what the solution is. I just wanted to say that I don't think your work buddies are being ignorant on purpose. :-)

[MinaT 669]

I agree those being disgusted with the original OP or the fact I have talked to my husband regarding his portion size need to take a step back too.

I love my husband, but I spent the past several years eating 1/2 of what he eats and getting to 300 pounds. He loves me and wanted to help me lose weight, but by following the 1/2 rule of what he ate almost killed me. He may not be morbidly obese but his cholesterol and blood pressure is outrageously high. I don't judge what OTHERS eat, I am working on using the tools given to me by my doctor, by this process to help the two people I love and would do anything for not get to where I am.

I am not disgusted by people, I am disgusted at the amount of food they are eating, because I used to that much, I am disgusted by what I used to eat, I am disgusted that I used to eat all that food, and I never really tasted it, I shoveled it in, I am disgusted that I never gave a thought to portion size.

I am not going to keep my mouth shut when it comes to my husband and son. I don't call them names, I do stress Portion Control and truth is, they know how much I have suffered through the years, they know how much pain I have gone through and I'm lucky I have the type of relationship with my family that allows this type of free speech and they know I'm not picking on them, that I'm helping them and they are both grateful for it.

As far as what anyone else eats, that's their deal, but with the two people that I am responsible for feeding and caring for, it is my business.

[tovanta 49]

I find this post to be more rude and more judgemental than any of the previous posts. Being astounded at the volumes others eat is very much a part of this journey. And to share honestly our surprise at these feelings post sleeve does not make us all evil. In fact, I am disgusted at how I used to eat (not that I have eated KFC in well over a decade) so the disgust is just as inwardly focused as outwardly.

And if you read you will see a few of us feel physically I'll watching some others eat. This is not actually within our control. What we can control is how we manage it and I see no one openly telling others they disgust them! Sure, I comment to my husband out of concern for his health and well being, especially since he sees it as his job to eat my left overs these days if I don't stop him but that is hardly the same as managing to control and hide the physical disgust I feel when I watch someone scarf down a cheeseburger without stopping to chew.

Well sweetie it was meant to be ....this is called sarcasm....because as I read about others and the "disgust they feel"... (mind you astonised was not the chosen word used) in my own mind I wonder why are you wasting lifes valuble time watching someone else eat....the food on the plate....that they have paid for .....with their own money....

how much time does it take to look away and enjoy your meal and or conversation if you are with someone else....

I am glad that you found what I said rude...because it replicates (in an opposite manner) the lack of integrity that has been found in these post....

I just found it funny that anyone who has not even come to a half way point in their own personal journey.....can make such glorified statements of "disgust" ...the word itself is indicative of the most negative feeling a person can have....

all im saying is everyone on this post...did what they did....when THEY felt it necessary to do it....you discovered your own personal strength or need to make a very huge decision to change your life.....and you should Celebrate that!!!! not spend time in judgement of others.....what they eat...how much they eat....because I know for a fact not one of use got fat eating small amount of celery and carrots.....

OH... by the way you can control the direction your head turns, the placement of your vision, and there is absolutely no need to peer into someone mouth and destroy their pleasure or experience....and the way the words felt so venomous on this page.....i am only assuming your facial expression displays the same distain.....

so to make a long conversation short...try minding your own business...and allow others live their lives the way they please....

[Ready4success 380]

It took me 15 year to do something about it and I'm only 25..so u do the math. I'm sure many people on this site have struggled with their weight for years and it has been an obvious problem for them. I've seen people here in their late 60's getting VSG. Everyone is battling with their own demons and has their own struggles. We shouldn't be too quick to judge. I'm sure no one on here only struggled with their weight for a year and decided to do something so drastic. Sometimes people need a moment when they realize they need to take that step. That moment may come when they are 18 or 70. Look up the thread "5 things I can't wait for after surgery" or something similar. Sometimes people realize their weight is a major issue when they can't fit on a ride at the fair' date=' or a restaurant booth, or when someone else in their life has a medical issue related to their weight or worse, dies. Don't be so quick to judge..don't forget where u came from[/quote']

You have a lot of wisdom, and you've expressed it so well. I don't care how much I lose, I will never forget that I had to have surgery to do it. It's the same reason why I've been honest about having surgery. I had no control, so I had to do something so drastic, that I could no longer make the decision to over eat. It's such a sobering thought, that I can't possibly look at what someone else is doing.

[LizInTexas 125]

You know, as I've read this thread, ad nauseum given some of the self righteous and judgemental opinions, it occurs to me that perhaps all the "hostility" could have been avoided if the OP had chosen her words a little more carefully... Instead of using the word "disgusted", perhaps words like amazed, astounded, astonished, dumbfounded, or bewildered would have left a much less negative impression while conveying the same sentiment. I use terms like "disgusted" and "appalled" (along with other very colorful adjectives) to describe child predators, animal abusers, and murderers; not overeaters or food addicts; which every single one of us on this forum are. It's not what you say so much as it is how you say it that people respond to. What I find astounding is the callousness and hypocrisy of many who live in a glass house and then throw stones after they've had the good fourtune and resources to move out... I move in 3 days and I can't wait, but I know I won't be throwing stones at my own kind afterwards. No matter how much weight I lose, or how great I look and feel, I will ALWAYS be a former fatty, and all of the snide remarks, harsh judgements, dirty looks, and hurtful comments that I've endured won't ever be forgotten.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Hey ButterTheBean' date='

I've noticed with my husband that he truly doesn' understand food & calories. A few years ago I had him join weight watchers with me and I was really shocked at how little he knew. He honestly DID think that eating the oatmeal cookie was a healthy alternative. I had to hold his hand and take him back to the very beginning of what eating healthy really means. (not that it worked for me since i needed the surgery!)

Aren't many guys are too embaressed to admit that they don't know something?. I was married to the guy for 10 years before he'd admit he didnt understand what a carb meant. We tend to assume that they have learned by osmosis thru all our dieting. :-)

I don't have a clue what the solution is. I just wanted to say that I don't think your work buddies are being ignorant on purpose. :-)

[/quote']

I agree. Men don't know everything, but we think we do.