Ready?

[cpbaby 0]

I am having a really hard time with getting my butt in geat on this. I really want the lap band, but feel all the steps are so overwhelming and humiliating, that I am having a hard time getting the nerve up to start. The seminar! Would an oncologist gather 100 prostate cancer patients in a room and discuss their health? I dont think so! It seems to say to me that they dont believe it is a medical condition and they just want as much money as possiable for the least amount of work. Even the thought of being weighed is a nightmare for me! I know I will cry. And a sleep test? They need to take the same precausions if I test positive or not! I have had 4 surgerys while I was this large and they didnt sleep test me. And I worry that some doctors wont touch me cause I am 50+ BMI or force me to do an extended liquid diet. . . or worse yet, humiliate me.

Did anyone have the same feelings early in their process. I know I want the lap-band but the steps after that, I am just not sure if I can do it.

Any constructive thoughts, support, words of advice, etc is so greatly welcome!

[lisah25 3]

I am having a really hard time with getting my butt in geat on this. I really want the lap band, but feel all the steps are so overwhelming and humiliating, that I am having a hard time getting the nerve up to start. The seminar! Would an oncologist gather 100 prostate cancer patients in a room and discuss their health? I dont think so! It seems to say to me that they dont believe it is a medical condition and they just want as much money as possiable for the least amount of work.

I think the idea of the seminar, at least the one I went to, was to introduce people to a procedure they may have known nothing about. It's just a first step, and some who attend the seminar won't become patients, some are family and friends of patients. Because this is an elective procedure, it's done a little differently.

Things should get more personal, you'll meet one-on-one with the staff and surgeon.

And a sleep test? They need to take the same precausions if I test positive or not! I have had 4 surgerys while I was this large and they didnt sleep test me.

The sleep doctor I saw was very happy that more surgeons are requiring sleep tests for larger patients. They may not do anything differently, but they may. It depends on what happens. In apnea, you stop breathing and wake yourself up to some degree to start again. While recovering from anethesia, you may not be able to wake yourself up enough to do that, so yeah, they do need to know.

And I worry that some doctors wont touch me cause I am 50+ BMI or force me to do an extended liquid diet. . . or worse yet, humiliate me.

ANY doctor who does that you need to not see again. WLS surgeons are used to dealing with larger patients, I was a 53 BMI and my surgeon was wonderful. He made me feel like I had a medical issue that needed treatment, not some gross failure as a person. The diet is to shrink your liver, it's not a test or anything. It's just to help you get the best, safest surgery.

Any constructive thoughts, support, words of advice, etc is so greatly welcome!

I know it's not a fun process, esp. for us bigger people who all too often have had horrible experiences with doctors. I'd suggest you look around as much as you can, and meet with different doctors until you find one who makes you feel comfortable and respected. You can do this if it's what you want, bad parts and all.

[MelodyJ 0]

Well....my experience was a bit different. I did not have to have a sleep study for mine. I did not have to go to a seminar....I just went in for a consult. I didn't struggle because I wanted this SO BAD!!! I was/am sick of being overweight!!! Just look at it as the "next step" to your goal!!!!

God Bless,

Melody

Banded 3/20/06 -85lbs

[faybie 0]

I really want the lap band, but feel all the steps are so overwhelming and humiliating, that I am having a hard time getting the nerve up to start. The seminar! Would an oncologist gather 100 prostate cancer patients in a room and discuss their health? I dont think so! It seems to say to me that they dont believe it is a medical condition and they just want as much money as possiable for the least amount of work.

My seminar had 8 people interested in the surgery and my husband (who is also overweight). No one shared "their" story or the reason they were there unless they wanted to do so. The Dr. didn't talk about what "we" wanted as individuals until we were one on one in the exam room. The seminar was about the Dr., his experience, where he got all of his certifications, what boards he belonged to, what the boards did, how he got started, studies and research he had done, why he liked what he does, his staff, the surgery center, and all about 3 different bariatric surgeries. My Dr. performs all 3 and wanted to make sure we knew the statistics, risks, expected results, how we were expected to "help" our chosen procedure, how we could sabatoge each procedure and then the actual surgery procedures for all three surgeries that he performs including pictures of each. He did not spend more time on any one particular surgery.

My Dr. also has a "guest" speaker at each of his seminars. It is always a previous patient of his. She/he acts as the welcome committee and helped everyone who was feeling nervous or had any questions feel at ease. We felt her port in her stomach out of curiosity. She was so bubbly and friendly and having her there made the whole experience very pleasant.

Also, I was self pay so I didn't have any red tape or have to jump through any hoops. I did have to get a release letter from my oncologist, which was like waiting for hell to freeze over.... LOL, so a teeny bit like insurance riga ma row.

[TexasTerry 0]

Ditto on how the seminars were set up that I attended. The surgeon that I selected had a very down to earth personality and was warm and friendly to everyone that attended. He certainly did not humiliate anybody! He is also a band patient and even showed us a picture of himself before his banding. I found him to be an open and honest person - one reason I selected him, besides his credentials.

These seminars are usually free - I'm sure in the Houston area there are many seminars that are given. Go to as many as you need to get an idea of what the surgeons are like. Select someone that you are comfortable with, both in how they treat you and in their surgical experience.

This is a big step, but you got lots of friends here to help you along the way. Keep in touch.

Terry

[jojo41 0]

Hi cpbaby....I ABSOLUTELY relate.

One of my first posts on this site was about being too embarressed to start the process of getting the lapband. Everyone was so supportive that it gave me the courage to "bite the bullet" and get banded......and I'm soooooo glad I did.

Now. ....I didn't have to attend a seminar nor have a sleep test but I did have to go to my local doctor to get a referral to the specialist and of course this included getting weighed... which caused me so much anxiety because I hadn't weighed my self in years let alone in front of anyone.

I must admit I got a shock when I found out what I weighed but once I had stepped on those dreaded scales the rest of the process wasn't so bad.

Actually once I went to the Obesity clinic and saw the nurse, psycholgist, dietician and surgeon I actually felt pretty good.......let's face it these people see Morbidly Obese people everyday and your weight, BMI etc is no big deal to them.

I think most people feel anxious about the process you have to go through in order to get the lapband....like you, mine included extreme embarressment but I think the thought of it is more embarressing than the actual process.....it's that whole thing of having to actually admit that you are that big and that you need surgical intervention.....The team at the obesity clinic that I attend have never once made me feel HUGE or humiliated me in any way. Actually on my first meeting with the nurse she mentioned the fact that most of their patients have a BMI close to or over 50.

My advice would be if you are uncomfortable with the seminar and sleep test then look for another surgeon or clinic.

Good Luck and trust me the process you have to go through in order to get the band is only a very small part of the journey. Once you get the band you'll wonder what you were so worried about.

[Morsaille 4]

I didn't do a seminar. I can see your point about the "herd" mentality. Changing a briefing about a life-saving medical procedure into a timeshare sales-pitch... ick.

When I did my sleep study, it was to determine if I had obstructive sleep apnea. I did. While I was waiting, insurance added an exclusion for Obesity and related services. The OSA diagnosis only strengthens your case for insurance coverage. If you are self-pay...you could skip it.

I went self-pay after the exclusion was added. No regrets. The hardest part for me was just making friends with the "F" word. When I could admit to myself (denial queen) that I was fat, it got so much easier to take the steps.

One at a time.

I cried at times, go ahead... you won't be the first, or the last.

[GayleTX 1]

Hon, my BMI was 62.....same as my age! And I felt just about average when I went to the seminar (in fact, I sat thru 3 of them.....just shopping around). To me, it was more comfortable being just one of the crowd and letting other people ask the questions and listening to the discussion.

As far the sleep study....it was a pain, but it helped me qualify for the surgery thru the ins. co. And sleeping with the CPAP for a few months gave me the best rest I'd had in many years.

As for humiliation...I understnd. The topic of my weight has been something unspoken in my family. Just too painful. Being among other patients and medical staff (and the wls boards) who just take it for granted and who speak about weight and size and the complications very casually has been very liberating for me. I can say words (like the f word) that I could never say before without crying....hey, I'm FAT, I can say it!

The doctors I worked with made me feel very valuable and accepted....first time ever by medical people. The process was not nearly as humiliating as being the fattest mother at homeroom or the ballgame, the fattest wife at the company picnic, the fattest teacher on staff, etc etc. They were all upbeat and made me feel hopeful and happy.

You are a young woman with a young child that needs a happy, involved and healthy mommy. You swallow your pride and get out there and do something for your future and for your child. It will give you your life back.

PS...6 months later - my BMI is now 47!!:clap2:

[Goannabanda 0]

The worst part for me was going to the General Practitioner to discuss my weight - again! It's so humiliating!! The general docs I've had just don't understand or have the time to make much difference to your life when you are morbidly obese or worse.

Meeting the surgeon and his team, attending the seminar, the support groups etc have been anything BUT humiliating. It's almost unbelieveable the relief I felt once I got through the GP stage and met with the surgeon etc. They are so understanding, not at all condescending or humiliating of you. After listending to my story, the surgeon changed my life with four little words - "it's not your fault". That was the first release moment when I've felt my life take a turn for the better. There have been many since, and I'm not banded yet (2 weeks to go!). The surgeons and their teams have the understanding, experience, research, knowledge, time and skills to really be able to put you at your ease and help you.

Relax and enjoy the process - having someone make a fuss of you - it's all about you and making your life healthier and more enjoyable. Good luck!

[Carlene 12]

Ditto on how the seminars were set up that I attended. The surgeon that I selected had a very down to earth personality and was warm and friendly to everyone that attended. He certainly did not humiliate anybody! He is also a band patient and even showed us a picture of himself before his banding. I found him to be an open and honest person - one reason I selected him, besides his credentials.

Dr. Smith is my guy, too. He feels our pain and would never put any one down for being MO.

At the seminar I attended he talked about how everyone has a moment of truth. His, he said, was when he went to another city/hospital to learn how to perform a new type of gall bladder surgery. The room was full of doctors (his peers) and the guy giving the program asked him to change seats. He said, "That rocking chair you're sitting in is an antique and I'm afraid you'll break it."

[CCBSTX 0]

Dr. Smith is my guy, too. He feels our pain and would never put any one down for being MO.

At the seminar I attended he talked about how everyone has a moment of truth. His, he said, was when he went to another city/hospital to learn how to perform a new type of gall bladder surgery. The room was full of doctors (his peers) and the guy giving the program asked him to change seats. He said, "That rocking chair you're sitting in is an antique and I'm afraid you'll break it."

Oh Carlene, that was so sad for your doctor. If the chair was that precious, he shouldn't have had it out! GRRR.

[faybie 0]

Oh Carlene, that was so sad for your doctor. If the chair was that precious, he shouldn't have had it out! GRRR.

WOW! I completely agree ><

Gayle,

You have had such awesome results. You must be very proud and have a new lease on life...down 15 pts on BMI is just awesome!!!!

My PCP was my first of a long string of turning points. My late father had high blood pressure all of his life with a triple by-pass at the young age of 32 (at normal weight) and my blood pressure was getting dangerously high. My PCP just looked at me and said "If you want to stay alive you need to lose weight". Just in the small amount of weight I have lost so far starting with pre-op diet, my blood pressure is no longer in the critical range it is in the "high-normal" range. My PCP is very supportive and proud of my decision.