Anxiety

[Joisey01 87]

I get sleeved on 9-20-2012. I get moments of anxiety where I question whether I've made the right decision or not. I know that I have. I guess I'm faced with this same anxiety when it comes to any big decision in my life.

I start my liquid diet this Thursday the 6th for two weeks. Friday is Pre-Op. Friday the 14th is my EGD and then the 20th is D-Day! I went through a whole month of waiting for the appointments to get here and now they are here and the anxiety is sneaking in!

I guess I'm excited AND scared at the same time . I am looking forward to being healthy. It's not a size or a look that is my goal. It is to be off medications and living healthy. I want to have the ability to go for a walk with my husband and not worry about passing out 1/2 way through the adventure. I want to go to the zoo without passing out or having to sit every 5 minutes because of back and knee pain. I want to fly without infringing upon my neighbor's space. It's been too long coming for me.

Early on when I made my decision to get sleeved, I went out and purchased some Protein Powder and a few other things 'just to see' how horrific it was going to be. Honestly, it isn't going to be that bad for me. Since I HATE chocolate and sweets for the most part, it's going to be hard for that reason. I don't think the Protein Shakes are that horrible especially since I'll be using vanilla flavored and you can add just about anything to that to make it palatable and versatile.

My husband and grown sons are amazing with their support. Only one other person knows and he is a co-worker. The only reason I told him is because he's getting sleeved on 10-23-2012. We'll be sleeve partners at work. I'm lucky in that respect.

The only thing that I worry about is when the pounds start dropping off that I don't sabotage myself. I see a bit of success and then I have to go and ruin it by overeating to Celebrate. Crazy, I know.

I can do this. I will succeed. This forum has really been a source of comfort and knowledge. I thank you all!

[BellaRoma713 46]

You will succeed! You have a great support structure in place. I am getting sleeved on 9/20 too and have a friend who did this too. Best wishes!

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

You won't have to worry much about over eating, your sleeve will handle that for the most part. What you will need to focus on is your food selection. Really the only way to sabotage this process is by making poor food choices. Make a concerted effort into learning how to get all your nutrients into very small portions. And from my experience, you're not going to want to Celebrate your success with a pece of cake, candy, ice cream as the small amount of capacity you have to nourish yourself with is too valuable to waste on that kind of stuff.

[Joisey01 87]

LOL! It's not the candy, cake or sweets. It's the carbs. Bad carbs. I have set the kitchen up for when I get home from the hospital. All of my go-to stuff is gone since I'm starting my liquid pre-op on Thursday.

The hardest part will be while I'm on the liquid and full liquid portion. We'll still have to cook for my husband. Once I'm on real food again, he can eat the same things as me just in slightly larger portions.

I CAN DO THIS!!!!

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

I feel ya 100%. I am a Pasta freak. So I have sworn off all bread, pasta, rice, potato, and fried foods till I reach goal or for 1 year, which ever comes first.

I'm waiting on the call from Olive Garden to see if I'm still alive.

But to be honest, it's not as hard as I thought it would be.

[Joisey01 87]

It has got to be hard to be a sleever and OTR. If you prepare ahead of time, I can see it would be easier.

[notime 340]

Soon you'll be losing weight and keeping it off!

[LadySha 14]

You will do well. You have already made the big decision to lose the weight and is headed in the right direction. I was once in your shoes. As a matter of fact, I resented getting my sleeve until 3 weeks post-op. Once I saw I was able to eat smaller portions and the weight start falling......I knew then it was the best decision I have ever made in regards to myself. I am a bread lover and now I am able to look at it and move on. My head is strong on losing my weight. The best advice I can give anyone is to plan your meals, make healthy choices and to drink plenty of Water and liquids. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[IrishEyes 59]

Hi Joisey! I feel the EXACT same way. Just really started yesterday. I will be sleeved on 9/21. I actually have my pre-op appointment this Wed 9/5, because my surgeon will be out of town closer to my surgery.

I am a phase I diet which is fine and don't begin full liquids until 9/14. So have not had to deal with the emotions that come along with being hungry, yet, which is good. But find that I have been so busy with appointments and getting clearances and not that it's all completed, the anxiety is setting in. With pre-op in two days, I know this is the trigger for my anxiety.

I also feel the same about why I am going through all of this. I want to feel good in my body again, in my skin. I have so many constant pains it would bea waste of typing to mention. Primarily its my back and joints. It's about health for me too. And practical things, like seats on a plane, etc. I am too young to feel like I am 90 yrs old. I am only 42.

I am surprised at my level of anxiety in a way because it's not like this process is happening over night. I began the process in April 2010 with my first seminar. It was 2 wks after I turned 40 and had decided that it was time to take control of my health. Made all sorts of appointments to check everything out. Physical, pap, bloodwork, etc. That's when I got the nerve to ck out the seminar. I was thinking of LapBand at the time and was excited to get the ball rolling. I received a call from the gyno and they needed to do ultrasound of my ovaries, which happened fairly often for me due to cysts. After the ultrasound the nurse said to get dressed and then I would be speaking with the dr. Seemed odd but not a real red flag. Walking to his office, did feel like a red flag. As I sat down and saw the way he was looking at me, was a red flag. He tells me I have a tumor the size of a large grapefruit on an ovary. Tells me he is sending me for bloodwork right away and referring me to an oncologist. Driving to do the bloodwork I was thinking, oncologist means cancer, right?? Of course I knew this but my head was trying to process it all. May 18th I meet with the oncologist and May 21st had open abdominal surgery. During those 4 days in between I read up on ovarian cancer and prepared for the end of my life. The size of the tumor means it had most likely spread, all over, and the 5 yr survival rate was not good. At the time it was 80% don't make it to 5 yrs. I woke up from the surgery and first thing I asked is "where did it spread to?" I kept getting same answer from nurses then family. Nowhere. It did not spread. I still to this day feel like a walking miracle. Apparently the cancerous part was surrounded by a non cancerous tumor, it it was encased. My surgeon hadnt ever seen that, and he is (I later found out) a world renound surgeon. I never found the right time, right man to have children with. And the dr said I needed a complete hysterectomy. He gave me 5 yrs to get pregnant. I tried to preserve my eggs but no fertility clinic would freeze eggs when a patient had ovarian cancer. Potential of freezing cancer with it. Well, dr said in Nov I had to have the surgery as soon as possible because my risks of cancer coming back were too high. He based it on bloodwork and, my weight. March 2011 had my hysterectomy. Very hard emotional time. Actually hardest in my life.

That surgery was robotic, Da Vinci. SUCH a piece of cake recovery!! I recommend to anyone who has the choice to choose robotic surgery, take it and run with it!! Recovery was amazing. I was apprehensive going in because of the unknown and the surgeon not operating in the operating room but working from a seated position, in another room via robot. I just can't say enough about that experience.

July 2011 went to another seminar for WLS and here I am 22 days from surgery. And I am anxious. I have to remind myself that I have been given another chance at life and want to make the most of it because tomorrow isn't guaranteed, for anyone. All of us going through this are doing so much more than just losing weight. It is literally transforming our futures. Our quality of this God given, precious life. And when our quality of life is better, our loved ones have a better quality of life too. We need to think of the memories yet to be made. Memories we will not be able to create in the current state of our bodies.

Joisey, let's think about the exciting future ahead of us when we get anxious. We know that it's a tough road ahead but haven't we been living a tough road, everyday, anyway?? Yes, we are facing surgery soon and we feel like this is the beginning of something difficult but actually it's the end of a difficult time. It's the end of the hard parts of physical life and the beginning of a wonderful transformation that will make our lives physically easier.

Godspeed my new friend. You and all going through this process will be in my prayers.

[Joisey01 87]

WOW! IrishEyes, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me (and us on VST). We all have our stories. We've all had our struggles. I appreciate you and all you have been through.

One day at a time is all we can do at one step at a time. You have come so far! Looking at another Journey in the face has to be ridden with anxiety. My anxiety only lasts a few minutes and then I get my thoughts back on track.

One foot in front of the other. Keep in touch throughout your journey!

[IrishEyes 59]

Oh, Joisey, one more thing, yesterday I discovered unjury.com. Check out the WLS section and read about the chicken broth Protein Powder AND unflavored Protein powder. Be sure to click on the links that give ideas how to use those powders. I think the unflavored could be really helpful to you.

[Joisey01 87]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I have purchased Unjury unflavored Protein as well as the chicken broth. I have it ready to go! I even purchased my post-op Vitamins there!