So Sad I Cannot Breathe

[Raven21 121]

Thanks for the update. Been thinking about you!

[Ready4success 380]

Glad to hear the crisis is over, but she has a lot of stressful situations still ahead for her. A new job (ICU can be very stressful, especially if she's never done critical care before), adjusting to a new city, and not having a support system nearby. Not to pry, but are you employed? Would you be able to go help her adjust for a few weeks? It would also give you an opportunity to see if she has adequate coping mechanisms. God bless you and your family, I hope she has safe and happy times ahead of her.

[iggychic 1,405]

The support of all of you is just incredible. I know I need to hear repeatedly that she needs help' date=' I need to hear repeatedly that I am not at fault. She is a beautiful, bright, young woman with some mental health issues. I will figure out how to help her. She must be really lost and hurting. She usually calls or drops by several times a week. She has to know she isn't well. Maybe when she is calmer, she will let us help her get help. Thank you all for your support.[/quote']

You are enableing her. If she hurts someone or herself and you have done nothing, how are you going to feel.

[Fun size 62]

Glad to hear the crisis is over, but she has a lot of stressful situations still ahead for her. A new job (ICU can be very stressful, especially if she's never done critical care before), adjusting to a new city, and not having a support system nearby. Not to pry, but are you employed? Would you be able to go help her adjust for a few weeks? It would also give you an opportunity to see if she has adequate coping mechanisms. God bless you and your family, I hope she has safe and happy times ahead of her.

She is a step down nurse currently and the new hospital has a good training program in place. She has some limited resources in her new city, a cousin who is an oncology surgeon at another hospital and a close friend who is in nursing school. I am retired so if she asks me, I would be available, but I think it would be good for her to sort things out for herself. I am going to strongly suggest that she see a family doc and get some antidepression meds to start and then some counseling sessions. I bet my neice (the surgeon) would be able to recommend a good family doctor.

[BigFatLoser 331]

You are enableing her. If she hurts someone or herself and you have done nothing' date=' how are you going to feel.[/quote']

This is a tad out of line. And coming fom someone who clearly is not a parent.

[iggychic 1,405]

I am a parent as well as the sister in law on two sides of my family to two women who have had psychotic episodes. You don't go from zero to two hundred without something being wrong. One brother in law gave his wife some space. She hung herself. The other, much later in life told me and my husband that he wanted us to take the kids for a week to relieve her stress and he had promised to give her the alone time she wanted. We would have flown there in a second, we love them all, but I told him Shannon's story and he had her committed. She attempted suicide three times in hospital, this totally normal mom and kindergarten teacher. She has been treated with counseling and medications for her illness, and make no mistake it's an illness.

I actually really enjoy the poster who shared this story. If I was abrupt I am sorry! I'm having a very painful day, but I mean it none the less. Yes she is a hard working good woman, as was my sil.....and she now is again, but you know what could happen. It could be alone and she will kill herself or it could be to a patient or you. She does not want to be this way but can't controll herself. This is not normal stress. Covering it up enables her. As one mom to another, don't delay please. I've seen both outcomes.

[BigFatLoser 331]

I am a parent as well as the sister in law on two sides of my family to two women who have had psychotic episodes. You don't go from zero to two hundred without something being wrong. One brother in law gave his wife some space. She hung herself. The other' date=' much later in life told me and my husband that he wanted us to take the kids for a week to relieve her stress and he had promised to give her the alone time she wanted. We would have flown there in a second, we love them all, but I told him Shannon's story and he had her committed. She attempted suicide three times in hospital, this totally normal mom and kindergarten teacher. She has been treated with counseling and medications for her illness, and make no mistake it's an illness.

I actually really enjoy the poster who shared this story. If I was abrupt I am sorry! I'm having a very painful day, but I mean it none the less. Yes she is a hard working good woman, as was my sil.....and she now is again, but you know what could happen. It could be alone and she will kill herself or it could be to a patient or you. She does not want to be this way but can't controll herself. This is not normal stress. Covering it up enables her. As one mom to another, don't delay please. I've seen both outcomes.[/quote']

My fiancé committed suicide, so I am very sympathetic to this stuff. I just know how overwhelming it can be trying to help and being criticized during those hard times. Maybe I'm too soft? Idk. I'm bowing out. But I hope everything works out!!!

[iggychic 1,405]

I want her daughter to live. But people who have never experienced mental health issues like this don't understand that she likely can not physically or mentally sort this out. Those wires in their brain are interrupted right now. You might as well ask her to do brain surgery tomorrow. She has an enter chance of figuring that out.

[bettyanne6249 50]

I think counseling and med appt would be a great start! I agree not to enable her, but definitely be a support and encourage her to make a healthy decision.

[Susan 2.0 278]

FunSize - How is your daughter doing? Will she be able to join you in Italy? I have this thread bookmarked & think of you often. I hope all is well.

[Fun size 62]

Susan, Thank you so much for asking. She is going with us and we are leaving tomorrow. She moves a couple hours away the week we get back and starts her new job on 10/8. She is, in my opinion, still fragile. I have tried to back away a bit. As soon as she starts telling me who stressed she is, packing for the move and for the trip, her voice gets louder and irritated. I just tell her that I don't have time to listen to her complaints but I do have time to help. And I will help. I am driving the rental truck! I'm 4'11'' (almost). I went to the U-Haul place to be sure I can reach the pedals. I hope the break from all the stress will help her and after her new insurance starts, she will get some medical help.

I've gained a good three pounds through this. Grrrr.