Crying

[NDN_RN 527]

Today I woke up crying. So many things weighing on my mind. This week coming, my insurance will be submitted and hopefully approved. My excitement and inpatience has turned into fear and doubt. What if I get any of the horrible complications i read about. What if i get all of them. What if I die. I have 9 kids and a grand baby. I have 4 still at home that depend on me. They are all adopted and need special care. My 10 year old has significNt emotional issues that requires constant supervision. I adore my DH , but he wont be a le to carry this load. Last might my son, who is visiting from abroad and staying at my mom's house, called me last night. Seems she has had signs of a heart attach since Thursday and refuses to go to the hospital. I cant convince her just to have an ekg, just to be on the safe side. Mind you, my mom can be hystrionic and attention seeking, but this is beyond ignoring. So here i sit, on my bed, DH sound asleep at my side, crying my eyes out. Should I ditch the whole thing and focus on my family. What will happen if I dont make it.

[renogirl 11]

Oh honey, take a deep breath...you are going thru normal anxiety and everything will be ok.

You took a huge step deciding to sleeve. When your doubt creeps in, remember that unless you take care of yourself and your health, you can't truly take care of your family.

Those who depend on you need you at 100% for the long term. And being overweight and unhealthy is not in their best interest either.

Try to focus on the positive, not the "what if's) (which is easier said than done)

Sleeving is the best thing I have ever done for myself and my family.

Hope this helps you a tiny bit

also wanted to add - there are so many success stories posted on this board. When the fear and anxiety sets in, read or re read them. So many amazing life changing examples of how good your life after sleeving can be!

[buckeye_girl40 203]

I am so sorry to hear that you are having such an emotional break... I know how you feel because I was feeling the same way just last week. It felt like the whole world was crumbling around me... I lay awake and cried most of the night last night praying for God to show me a sign that I was doing the right thing for me and my family.... this morning when I woke I felt refreshed in my decision.... God won't put anything on you that you can't handle.... he's always there to guide you, he brought you and me to this forum so we wouldn't face this alone. I worried about not making it in surgery too.... but I would rather face a small % complication rate with surgery rather than knowing with 100% certainty that if I don't have it obesity health problems will kill me. Chin up.... wipe your eyes, we are here for you!

[just_kari 9]

About 9 months ago I had a similar reaction and called my Doc and asked to be removed from the WLS program. I wished I hadn't. I am now back on the wagon and have my consult with the bariatric team and surgeon on Sept 12. Fortunately I only had to re-attend one class and not start over from square one. I'm not certain that I won't get worried again, but I won't cancel this time.

Truth be told, the mortality rate during WLS is so very, very low. Less than 0.25%. You are much more likely to have complications or conditions from obesity that shorten your life than your risk of death during or as a result of surgery. My health risks from obesity are a much larger concern.

You should be aware of the complications that can arise from surgery, but you need to put those in comparison to the success that patients have had. There are risks in everything, but it will all be okay. Like renogirl suggested, at times like those, look through the success stories on the website and remind yourself of how wonderful it will be to have control over your body again. And like tfazio said, we are here for you.

Hang in there!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

You are so normal. We all have these fears and yes a very very small percent of people die from this procedure, more die from the GBP surgery. The truth be known, obesity will kill you first...... the docs do such a through workup on you that if there is any doubt as to you making it through this surgery, they won't do it. The surgeon's don't want any one to die on his/her watch. It was really scary for me the morning of the surgery, and I wanted to run so bad. Thank God the surgery was scheduled for 6:00am because I might not have made it through the day. I am very thankful that I followed through with the procedure, today I'm healthy as I can be. If you choose to continue on and get the sleeve, you will not regret it. It's the best thing that's happened for 99% of us here on VST. Hang it there! We got your back......

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I have 9 kids and a grand baby.

hi there

you made the wise decision to have the sleeve to improve on your life, and your loved ones too.

with that same wisdom, please don't change your mind about being sleeved - you want to/need to loose weight and be healthy for yourself and of course your family too

you are going through common emotions that pre-sleevers go through

Waiting for insurance approval, sometimes can drag on, and on. its torture waiting for the answer

the sleeve is such a powerful tool, it has a great mind of its own that will help you loose weight , and get healthier and happier

the sleeve is the best thing that you can do for yourself - you hear many people making this statement, cuz its true, you can't improve on perfection.

many moms/dads go through the added pressures that their kids/grand-kids need them . - you want to be there for your family, but sometimes its your turn to ask/receive help - or at least not to be the main caregiver of the kids for awhile - you are the important one now

Your instincts say you should help the family, meals/bathtime etc. - maybe your mom can come over, or some of the kids can go there, or some of the older kids can come home and help with the yougons' - not to mention friends or other family could help.

thats alot of speculation, - head held high - you can make this work. Having 9 kids, you obviously are handling a bunch - you just need to step it up a bit, change it, get some help - and tell that DH sweetly and kindly that you NEED his help with the kids, they are his kids too.

there is usually some sort of solution to a problem

hoping you get your positive response from insurance so you are not in a continued state of limbo.

once you get sleeved, a whole new world will be at your feet, and you will be so happy you went through the WLS

write us with anymore questions or situations you want to talk about/venting etc. - we've seen you around the board - make your prescence (msp?) known again

Once you start loosing your weight, you will start to see an improvement in the way you can be with your kids. you won't be doing the 'ol huffing & puffing game as much - as time goes on, things will only get better and better

sending you positive thoughts

take care

good luck

[Piplula 709]

I think we all go through this fear and anxiety. You are normal. I had all the same fear as well. But, I made my mind up that if I didn't do something my prediabetes would surely develop into diabetes, my blood pressure would kill my kidneys, my heart, and possibly lead to stroke , and my cholesterol was already causing plaque in my arteries which would make me at a huge risk of a heart attack..and when I looked into my hubby's and daughter's eyes, I knew they were not getting the best of me. So, on surgery day, I left my crying child at my mom's knowing I was making the right decision ..I just told her this was something I had to do to make me better...a better mom, a better wife, a better me....did I have complications ..yes..a hematoma that hurt like hell...was it difficult..yes...I became lactose intolerant after the procedure and had explosive diarrhea until we figured that out...would I do it again? You bet, because now I can dance with my daughter, play, go on walk, not hide in the house, my hubby is my boyfriend again, my house is a home..and I no longer think if I die some other woman could be raising my daughter because now I know I will be raising her because I will be around a lot longer than I would have been had I not made the decision to go ahead with the surgery. Take a deep breath, write down all the pros and cons ..you are a nurse ..what would you say to one of your patients that needed a heart bypass, an appendectomy, or an aneurysm repair? Would you tell them not to do it? You know the illnesses that are slowly killing you, and you know what statistics are for people who continue to be obese. Take another deep breath... Look at your list, surround yourself with your supporters and find comfort in your decision. Good luck!

[NDN_RN 527]

Thanks everyone for all the kind and thoughtful responses from the heart. I am better now. Got through my daughters morningmelt down. dH cooked his wonderful weekend Breakfast, one of my last for a while. My bff is here for the weekend giving wonderful support.breathe in breathe out. With the love of my family and support of my friends here and on line, I will get through this...one day at a time.

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

God BlessUs All

[iggychic 1,405]

I'm glad you are feeling better Hun. You probably know my answer but I'll say it anyhoo. Assess your life and I'd you need to wait, the surgery will always be there. I hope you suffer nothing like I did but I'd prepare for a bit of that and if all goes easy you'll just be over prepared which never hurts.