Telling People

[diekoi 43]

I know this has been posted before, but just need to vent/rant. The reactions you get from people close to you are crazy. Some are wildly supportive & other emphatically against it. I guess my disappointment has been in telling my dad and sister. My dad acted like I was insane for considering this, an my sister just got super quiet and changed the subject. I don't care what they think really, I'm going to do what's right for me- but it's more like really??? Where's the support? Then one of my best friends is basically already jealous acting. She won't consider talking about it and just changes the subject or makes snyde comments. Oh well, like I said, this is for me and only me. Just glad there is a app like this for support and venting/ranting. Lol! Thanks for the support!!!

[suziebaby78 21]

You are absolutely right!! It's what's right for you!! I have to tell myself that also!! My mother said "I think your nuts"!! That was it!! A couple friends are different about it but are they jealous to? Probably!! Sucks people can't just be happy for you!! It's not all bad here, I have a few that are very supportive but it comes down to getting healthy and living right!! I'm excited!! Sept 26th is my day!! No one will change my mind!! Good luck to you!!

[nyxa 159]

i'm sorry you're going through that. you should indeed do what is best for you & of course take your health into consideration. your health is more important than their opinions & they will eventually see that (i hope).

we all support you 100% & know that it's not easy. i wish you nothing but the best & hope everything turns out well for you.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

It's baffling how anyone would think we would be better off by staying obese. Yes there is a chance that your surgery could have complications, but the chance of complications from obesity are much, much higher.

I had a few doubters when I first announced I was having the surgery. But after losing over 100lbs they have all changed their tune. But the best defense against the negativity is simply not giving a rat's behind what anyone else thinks.

[Eat That Frog 53]

I have only told a couple of people. A common theme I am reading on here is that people don't want to tell their parents. I haven't told my Mother because I know she will be negative and I don't want to strain our relationship. She will probably be upset when she finds out, but I have to do what is best for me and quuit worrying about everyone else.

Good luck!

[Banned member 320]

I told my mom a couple of weeks ago that I was having surgery because I wanted her to fly here and take care of me. Yesterday I found out that my mom had told my sister and I'm very pissed about it. I'm a very private person and when people tell me their secrets, I don't talk about it with anyone else. I'm extremely loyal and trust is a huge thing with me. My family is extremely gossipy and they just can't keep their mouths shut and I had to set my mom straight yesterday about the fact that I HATE how she feels the need to share my business with our family members. Nothing is ever sacred between me and her, I just let her know how hurt I was and the fact that I can't confide in her and this has hurt me deeply. It took a while for her to understand where I was coming from but I'm pretty sure my whole family knows by now. My family knowing doesn't even bother me but it's the fact that I trusted my mom to keep this between me and her. She has a history of sharing everything with my sister and this caused a huge blow up yesterday and I suspect my sister is a little jealous because she struggles with her weight also, even though she is about 30 lbs lighter than me. *sorry about my vent*

[diekoi 43]

We all need support- and venting is part of that... I don't blame you at all for being upset. Like you said, it's the fact your request for privacy was not respected. That should always be respected and understood, regardless of reason.

[nyxa 159]

i agree 100% with diekoi. that was craptastic of your mom to do. people need to learn to keep their mouths shut. you may have been better off asking a friend.

[Goodgonebad 38]

I told my mom a couple of weeks ago that I was having surgery because I wanted her to fly here and take care of me. Yesterday I found out that my mom had told my sister and I'm very pissed about it. I'm a very private person and when people tell me their secrets' date=' I don't talk about it with anyone else. I'm extremely loyal and trust is a huge thing with me. My family is extremely gossipy and they just can't keep their mouths shut and I had to set my mom straight yesterday about the fact that I HATE how she feels the need to share my business with our family members. Nothing is ever sacred between me and her, I just let her know how hurt I was and the fact that I can't confide in her and this has hurt me deeply. It took a while for her to understand where I was coming from but I'm pretty sure my whole family knows by now. My family knowing doesn't even bother me but it's the fact that I trusted my mom to keep this between me and her. She has a history of sharing everything with my sister and this caused a huge blow up yesterday and I suspect my sister is a little jealous because she struggles with her weight also, even though she is about 30 lbs lighter than me. *sorry about my vent*[/quote']

WOW sounds like we have the same mother LOL... You're ok vent on...

[dexter 205]

Seems like the family members who are least supportive of me are husband's sisters. When we are all together, I'm the thin one! I think it's odd that the sisters of all people should understand WHY.

Or maybe they just hate me. The first Christmas with my husband, his family anonymously gave me a jar a mayo.

The people who have given me the most support are my friends who have had body issues the other way (too thin) or discriminated against for another reason (deaf, gay, female bodybuilder).

Sometimes family is really not the best support out there.

[nyxa 159]

Seems like the family members who are least supportive of me are husband's sisters. When we are all together, I'm the thin one! I think it's odd that the sisters of all people should understand WHY.

Or maybe they just hate me. The first Christmas with my husband, his family anonymously gave me a jar a mayo.< /p>

The people who have given me the most support are my friends who have had body issues the other way (too thin) or discriminated against for another reason (deaf, gay, female bodybuilder).

Sometimes family is really not the best support out there.

sounds like jealousy... :/

[Livinglifeout 217]

We all support and it is the perfect place to vent. Just wait until your dad and sister start seeing you being more active and healthy. I think when the weight loss happens and they see this, their views will change.