Coming Out...

[Lhollingsworth 54]

How did you tell your friends and family about your decision? Or did you?

How many people did you choose to tell?

I'm not sure if I am comfortable telling many people - including my mother.

[NDN_RN 527]

There are so many different responses to this question. In the end it's all about your comfort level. Tell who you feel comfortable with, and the rest, maybe after surgery, you feel differntly and tell them at that point. I would suggest tell at least one preson closest to you.

I have told my DH, my best friend and one of my kids, my 19 year old daughter. My mother is judgemental and opinionated, my father does what ever my mom tells him to do, and my kids wouldnt understand why. I work from home, go into my office monthly, so telling co workers isn't even necessary.

[robynluevano 85]

I have told about 20 people, closest friends & family. They are all supportive. I don't feel that my mom is as supportive though, she is tall & thin, always has been. I was adopted so I didn't get her body type. I told 4 of my 15 coworkers, plus the HR person bc she is who I asked for insurance purposes. :-) tell the people you feel comfortable with.

[mommeof3 58]

I told my mom and sisters and quickly got the judgmental negative comments. However, i decided to keep moving forward because this is something that i need for me. My husband is so so supportive, he is tried of me stressing over my weight. Didn't tell anybody at work because it is none of their business. I am a teacher. My co-teachers(TEACHERS WHO TEACH THE SAME GRADE AS ME) know that i will be off work but i didn't share why. I am not close enough to them to share info like that.

[gustavo52974 369]

The first person I told (besides my surgeon) was my HR rep. I wish I didn't have to, and she didn't say anything at the time except to explain how medical leave works. She was very helpful in that respect, making sure I was able to take the two weeks off.

But fast forward 5 weeks later, after dropping 40 pounds, I saw her in the elevator. She said nothing about my weight loss, which was quite visible (as others at work had told me). Fishing for a compliment, I said something like, "I'm finally fitting back into my old clothes!" and patted my stomach. She gave me a vague smile and said nothing, but her unmistakably judgmental expression was clear: "I don't really approve."

I don't know why, but that really bothered me. I know she's just a low-level HR rep, and she's normally very friendly, but I died a little from that stupid elevator episode.

I wish I didn't have to tell her. That confirmed my suspicion that I was right not to tell too many people.

But that's my life. People love to judge me for some reason. So everyone has to weigh that decision for themselves based on the people in their lives.

[kmwheel 127]

I have only told my husband and one friend. I went through the process before (and was very open about it), got denied, and really had a tough time after that. This time I'd like to keep it to myself until I'm through with the process and on my way. Another reason I'm not telling anyone is because I'm going to Mexico to have it done, so I don't want to deal with all of the feedback and opinions regarding that. I agree with the other posters that you have to decide who you feel comfortable telling. I'm sure when I get back, I'll want to talk to people about it because they'll obviously notice.

[Need-a-Sleeve 211]

I know this is not the norm, but I have told just about everyone. Yes, I have gotten some negative comments, including the proverbial 'easy way out'. I told that person they were showing their ignorance & don't really care what anyone else thinks. My life, my decision, my struggle.

What I have learned though is I will be losing some friends along with the weight. Like one I thought that was a close friend. When I told her, she said 'Oh good, when we go out, you can just watch ME eat.'. Needless to say, she has always been thin.

[gustavo52974 369]

What I have learned though is I will be losing some friends along with the weight. Like one I thought that was a close friend. When I told her, she said 'Oh good, when we go out, you can just watch ME eat.'. Needless to say, she has always been thin.

First, I respect that you told just about everyone. That's bravery I just don't have at the moment.

Second, what did your "friend" do when you slapped her face?

[Need-a-Sleeve 211]

You know Gustavo, it took a lot not to let that big old witch cat get out! She is an alcoholic, so I think we each carry a burden....

I hope you get the courage to tell everyone, you already did the bravest thing--you chose to do it!

[gustavo52974 369]

You know Gustavo, it took a lot not to let that big old witch cat get out! She is an alcoholic, so I think we each carry a burden....

I hope you get the courage to tell everyone, you already did the bravest thing--you chose to do it!

Aww, thank you! One of the things I want to do before I die, from my "bucket list" as it were, is to throw my drink in someone's face. And your response reminded me of that. Maybe I'll tell more people now so when they give me one of the idiotic responses, I can do that. Then I can die. Seriously.

[Barisaxylady 154]

I've discussed with a few co-workers who have had wls just to ask how it went. My husband totally supports my decision and when I asked him if he supported my decision to get it done he said yes a little too quickly. My BFF is behind me which means a lot to me. I finally got up the nerve to tell my one sister and she was all for it which was a big relief. ( didn't tell te other sister because she lives in new Zealand and only breezes into my lifr every couple of years or so.) Scared to death to tell my mother. actually posted a topic about it before. Wanted to wait till I had a date in hand which I was hoping to have this past Friday but of course, my surgeons office didn't return my call. (also posted another topic about inconsiderated office staff!) I want to tell her before I have the surgery because I think she will be extremely hurt if I don't but I don't want her to try and talk me out of it. I wanted to tell her face to face too which would be tomorrow but I don't have the date in hand yet. Probably last time I will see her till Oct.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

One thing to keep in mind, we all have people in our lives that we care about. You have to weigh your decision to tell or not tell with the consequences of how your relationships might be affected later on when they find out. If there is someone who is going to be hurt because you didn't tell them, or didn't tell them before the surgery....I'm just saying take that into consideration. It doesn't have to be the only factor, but it's there.

My wife has been my biggest supporter. She told her whole family. I don't really have any family to tell. I told my close friends and coworkers right before surgery. Since then, anytime someone asks me how I've lost my weight, I tell them about the surgery. Not one person has said anything negative. Most are curious. Several have responded back about a family member of theirs that had surgery. All in all I've got no regrets telling people. Already one coworker wanted my Doctor's name and number.

If anybody doesn't like the fact that I had surgery, or thinks it's the easy way out, as far as I can tell they are keeping it to themselves.....and they should continue to do so.

[Lhollingsworth 54]

I told my mom and sisters and quickly got the judgmental negative comments. However, i decided to keep moving forward because this is something that i need for me. My husband is so so supportive, he is tried of me stressing over my weight. Didn't tell anybody at work because it is none of their business. I am a teacher. My co-teachers(TEACHERS WHO TEACH THE SAME GRADE AS ME) know that i will be off work but i didn't share why. I am not close enough to them to share info like that.

I'm a teacher too! What break do you plan to do it on?

[Justine13 264]

It seems word is spreading in my huge extended family. Many of them knew I was looking at this but I did not announce the approval and next steps. Not sure how I feel about it. Of course- one must always look at the bright side and who am I to judge if they want to send me a card- with cash- so I can save up and buy a whole new wardrobe . JK!!!

[IsaacsGram 58]

I started out just telling my hubby, my daughter (not my sons) and my boss. But now as I have a date and I feel much more secure in my decision I've told a few more people. I EVEN TOLD MY MOM! That's huge, as I really was afraid of her reaction. Well guess what? She is supportive, worried, but supportive! I'm so relieved!