Scared Of Disappointing People

[billyvmom 128]

Worried I will be the one who doesn't lose or that people will judge me for not losing fast enough. Kind of regretting telling people I am having the surgery.

[circa 333]

First of all, STOP THAT!

You are NOT DISAPPOINTING ANYONE!

You are in a battle and you're going to succeed.

Don't worry about others, worry about yourself. You need to do this for you. If others think you aren't doing a good enough job, they can kick dirt. They have ZERO clue what you're going through.

Remember, this is your life - they don't get to judge. I'm quite certain they aren't god!

If they don't accept you unconditionally when you're struggling, they don't DESERVE you in your success!

Keep your head up and do what you're supposed to. It'll all fall in line.

When someone opens their yap, shove a cookie in it. Better they eat it than you

[5DoxieMom 87]

Well said Circa!

[traceyinflorida 499]

I agree that was very well said, Circa!

Billyvmom, you are not the first person to worry about not losing, and you will not be the last! I know I worried about it too. We are all so used to failing diets or worse yet, succeeding at diets only to gain it all back with several extra pounds for good measure. We think, why should this time be any different? If you have this surgery and you follow the guidelines of Protein first, low carb, low sugar, exercise...you will lose the weight!! Right now, you are probably thinking, yes but what if I can't follow the plan...it sounds hard!? Once you are sleeved, you will not be hungry. When you are not hungry, it is MUCH easier to make good food choices and eat delicious and satisfying meals. The restriction of your smaller stomach will not let you stray very far off track either. You can have a treat once in a while, but you cannot jump off the deep end and go on a food bender. Heck, just one bite too much and I am uncomfortable for hours. You will learn very quickly to eat slowly and listen to your body. You will lose weight and be successful. Everyone loses at different rates, but everyone loses and YOU WILL TOO!! No one is going to judge you for not losing fast enough (if they do, they are idiots) but they will very likely marvel at your transformation!!

[CNTWT2BMINIME 78]

Worried I will be the one who doesn't lose or that people will judge me for not losing fast enough. Kind of regretting telling people I am having the surgery.

No regrets billyvmom!!!! Just focus on you...don't worry about others. I think its natural to have these fears...I have had them! I just keep reminding myself

I made this decision for ME and I'm the only person I need to answer to. Hang in there.

[joseph 40]

Fu,ck people, you do this for your self, seriously.

[Parker's Dad 50]

There are several great thoughts on here for you think about and all true.

I have not gotten thru to surgery yet but I have this rationalized for myself. Take this for what it's worth, it's just my thoughts on it and that's all.

I know I can loose weight. I have done it before. I then get a little lazy and lax up and when I do this I gain some back. I have managed to keep the great majority of it off since I really started trying but there is going to come a day when that stops. There will be a day when my body says "no, I am done, this is where you are like it or not!" and is gonna make silly faces and dirty comments at me. I have no co morbidities at this time and I don't want any. I am however set up perfectly for a nice little dose of diabetes. I have seen what that crap can do, and I don't want anything to do with it. EVER. I also have a 15 month old little boy right now and I am gonna be around to see him grow up and pitch a few major league games lol! The point of that is that I am gonna be doing this for me and him. Noone else. I know people lose at different rates and some have more issues than others. I accept that. I also know that in my mind I can lose weight and when I have this tool that helps even more, I know I will not fail. I don't really intend on going around telling the world I had surgery but it's gonna come up. I will tell the ones that matter ahead of time and I will address the others as I see fit when that time arrises. I don't find myself accountable to anyone but me and that's kinda how I like it. My whole point is that you are doing this for you, for your reasons, and it is your decision to make. There are things that you will have to work thru and figure out for yourself. You will lose weight unless you make stupid decisions. You can do it and you will be fine and you don't worry about what others say. I know that is easiers said than done but you have to wrap your mind around why you want to do this in the first place and hold onto that regardless of whatever noise you get from others. You can do it.

[Lissa 2,631]

This journey is about you...and it SHOULD be about you! You're doing this for yourself, no matter what your mental motivation pre-op. Afterwards, once you see the success you'll have (no Maybe about it), then you'll start internalizing the journey. Don't let ANYONE else rain on your parade. YOU are worth doing this for yourself.

I'm actually getting positive feedback from the pre-op naysayers and some of the people who encouraged me the most pre-op have turned into green-eyed monsters. I have to be 100% on my own side because no one else understands the mental and physical changes I'm seeing and dealing with right now.

YOU will lose weight, at least a bunch. The final pounds will depend on you, but this is almost a magic bullet right out of the gate. Will it take time, work, and a lot of effort on your part? You betcha it will! But, YOU will do it!!!

Good luck! You got this one!

[billyvmom 128]

Thanks I appreciate the support I just am scared because, a lot of people are saying well you will just gain it back eventually you always do. I am waiting for the I told you so's when I am not a size 4 in a year... I don't have a weight goal right now I want to be in a 10 by this time next year I am a 22 now that gives me one size a month and I am 5 ft so a little weight on my height goes a long way. I think that's realistic and gives me a goal. If I scale watch I will just get obsessive. I have a lot of people who are against the surgery because, I have small kids and need to focus on them... But if their mom can't keep up with them because, she can hardly walk how is this good for them? and if I don't lose or lise fast enough they are going to be see you did that for nothing?

[traceyinflorida 499]

Having small children is even greater reason to do this!! The best way to take care of your familly is to take care of yourself! Everyone will survive for a few days while you are in surgery and recovering and then you will be on your way to being the very best mom you can be becasue you will have more energy, you will be healthy and you will be able to teach your kids healthy eating! Shut the comments out. Make the topic off limits with people who can't be positive right now. Sometimes people who care about you do not know how best to support you. You may need to spell it out for them. I need you focus on the positives of my having surgery rigth now. I need you to talk about the good things. If you can't, then please let's just agree not to talk about it. In a year, when you reach goal, you will be the one saying "see I told you so!"

[Katie713 423]

I know everyone here has said it, but I'm going to say it again....THIS IS YOUR JOURNEY...STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS ARE GOING TO SAY ABOUT YOUR WEIGHT LOSS.

I have found that you really have to set yourself up for success and a big part of this is visulazing yourself in the healthier, skinnier body that you want. If you focus on failing, you will fail. This way of thinking doesn't happen overnight, but as your mind fills with worry, try and stop that tape running in your head. Figure out some affirmations you can repeat to yourself over and over when you feel the negative thoughts coming over you.

Example:

I am healthy....I am strong...I am kind....I am losing weight....I am feeling great about my life....I am proud of myself....

If you believe in the power of prayer:

Lord, help me maintain my commitment to this process

Lord, help me shed this weight that is holding me down

Lord, thank you for this opportunity to be healthier

The mind is powerful and to succeed you need to get your body and mind in sync and that means following the new dietary plan and exercising, as well as finding new ways to deal with stress, lonliness, boredom, etc.

We are the same height and I had my surgery 4/6/12 and my body is changing and I feel better than I have in so many years, this will work, you just have to get in the game and make it happen!!!

Good luck!!! Think positive!!!

[Mrtiger1 12]

Huh? You lost 118lbs in 8 months!!!

[billyvmom 128]

Huh? You lost 118lbs in 8 months!!!

I am not sure who said they lost that. I know I haven't

[Katie713 423]

It was circa...in an earlier post...everyone's weight loss is different!!

[Mrtiger1 12]

I am not sure who said they lost that. I know I haven't

Looked at wrong profile. Embarrassing. Sorry