female only Soon To Be Single...

[LeAndra Matlock Young 1]

This may be stupid, but I have been married for 11 years and I have no clue where to start and have almost forgotten how to flirt! A friend and I went to a concert a few weeks ago and a guy said Hi! I said hi and kept on walking! She was like you DO know he was flirting! No I did NOT know! Lol. I am so used to being the 'fat girl' for years now that I have forgotten what it was like before I started gaining weight! Any advice!?

[LeAndra Matlock Young 1]

Forgot to add I've been separated for almost a year now. Divorce is in process! Lol

[COsleeveDude 273]

My advice would be to do all of the things you wish you would've done when you were younger and unattached. Sex, drugs, rock 'n roll...or just learning how to flirt and date again.

Try internet dating, but take it with a grain of salt. It's probably slightly better than meeting people at the bar or being set up, but not much better, unfortunately.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

It's easy. Just smile and be friendly! It will come naturally when you're interested in someone.

[nyxa 159]

you could also see a dating coach.. he or she could help you get back into the swing of things and help you gain more confidence when you're out & about there's also books on the topic, if you'd prefer to do the self-help route watching some dating shows could help, too.. like millionaire match maker or something like that.

i'm sorry you're getting a divorce, but i'm happy that you're about to be a free woman! since you're not "the fat girl" anymore, you have an amazing opportunity to go out & experience different people and eventually get someone that you REALLY like and want to be with and are totally, physically attracted to! and like COsleeveDude said, you can do all the stuff you never got to do as a fat girl.. wear sexy (yet classy, of course) dresses, go clubbing, etc.. maybe even do the cougar thing if that's what you're into. lol get you some arm candy shoot, that's one thing i'm looking forward to! LOL not necessarily having sex & all that, but that i'll be attractive enough to actually get some hot dudes!

don't be afraid to step out there into the unknown.. at least get your toes wet, so you can say you tried it.

wish you the best!

[chitowngirl 886]

A friend of mine once gave me some great advice....practice on guys that your not interested in, this way your more relaxed and can master the art of flirting before someone your into comes your way. Good luck. My single days were someo the best days of my life.

[Heatherr 149]

Smile. It makes you look approachable. Make eye contact, smile and say hello. The rest usually works itself out, but initiate conversation with something simple like "Hello." It is THAT easy.

If you're out with friends and you see someone worth approaching, a good way to get his attention is to say loudly "Oh, that looks good," while you smile at him, "I'll have what he's having."

These simple things make you look approachable and open up the beginning dialogue.

^^^^just for ideas. HTH and have fun!

[nyxa 159]

A friend of mine once gave me some great advice....practice on guys that your not interested in, this way your more relaxed and can master the art of flirting before someone your into comes your way. Good luck. My single days were someo the best days of my life.

i wouldn't do that, because then you're leading the guy on.. and if you're not into him, why do that to him?.. it's very cruel to the guy, and besides.. why put yourself in the position of having to explain that you're really not into him, that you were just practicing flirting.. and making him feel bad & undesireable?.. as someone whose been fat, i'm sure you know how that feels.. why inflict that pain onto someone else?

when i am at my own goal weight, i'm going straight for the kill. if i see a guy i am interested in, i'm going to ask him if he's attached & then if not, going to ask him out myself. why mess around with the small, yappy chihuahua's when you can finally play with the big dogs?.. i guess i'm not much for subtlety.. i've spent so much of my life in a shell of fat, that when i can finally break free from it, i'm going to take full advantage of it & only date people that i find physically & mentally attractive. i'm going to go out & wreak havoc and take what is and should have been mine all these years..

i know not everyone is direct like me.. so.. but if you meet someone you like, why not take the initiative? it's 2012, not 1957. grow a pair, ladies. worst that could happen is the guy says he's not interested or is attached to someone. in which case you move on, but at least you made someone feel good that day, so it's not a total loss!

[chitowngirl 886]

Flirting is just that....flirting. There are no strings attached in flirting. At best you have made someone feel better at worse you may offend them. Under no circumstance should anyone take flirting as a commitment. I was single for a long time and had morphed into a big flirt, it is something that I have come to enjoy. I've made tons of friends via flirting, just because I flirt does not mean I'm romantically interested.

[nyxa 159]

i understand what you mean.

i'm not saying go out & get into a commited relationship, either.. just saying what's the harm in seeing an attractive guy & going "hey, you're pretty cute.. wanna hang out?" (in your own vernacular, of course).