Starting Pre-Op Diet Today

[SlevieNicks 9]

These past five months have gone by fast...it seems like it was just a few days ago that I decided to start this journey...

A gal at work got gastric bypass and was telling me about it. The WLS skeptic in me still thought "there's no way in hell I'd ever do that...I can lose the weight on my own..."

I told the gal from work that there was no way I could fathom the idea of having my intestines rerouted and there was no way I was getting a band...all the complications and potential removal were just to much for me.

She said "why don't you have the sleeve?"

"the what? What the hell is the sleeve? Hmmm?"

So I quickly googled the sleeve and if I were in a cartoon I would have had a damn lightbulb over my head...the sleeve sounded amazing to me...sure cut out a hunk of my stomach...it's only caused me more weight gain...no band, no port, no rerouting, no tiny stomach pouch!

So I started my research and found NWWLS in Everett, Wa. It's a center of excellence and on my insurance. I called for a consult and got in to see Dr. Robert Michaelson.

The staff that I met is great...most have bands/weight issues themselves and they make you feel comfortable, you aren't just the fat person in the waiting room.

Dr. Michaelson is great...he said I'm the most informed patient he has had. (gotta love the medical assisting diploma and my yearning to be a nurse!)

I wish that my family was more supportive. Some people just tell me I need to exercise more or eat better but it's hard...they have no idea. My mom lost 100 lbs but now she drinks...ALOT. It makes me sad when she harps on my weight and when I bring up her drinking its a different story.

My sister in Las Vegas is supportive! Love you Ash!

I don't really have a dad since he was abusive and I think he helped me become the obese individual that I am. Granted both my mom and dads sides have a high rate of obesity...he was an a*****e.

Even when we were younger he would tell us we were fat and if we could pinch an inch we needed to lose weight. My mom was abused and she drowned her sorrow in food. My sisters and I learned the behavior and for me it all created a weight monster.

When I started puberty I started getting boobs and hips and my dad called me fat even more. I decided to take matters into my own hands.

When we were at the grocery store I secretly bought this weight loss book...you know the little ones by the checkout counter...and I had calories and fat content memorized...I barely ate. During 7th-10th grade I starved myself. I would do exercise in my room for a few hours and I would run down our road...I looked at other gals at school and was envious of how skinny they were...I saw a pic of myself that a friend posted on Facebook and I can't believe how tiny I was. I WAS one of those skinny girls. My collarbones were sticking out...I weighed less than 100 lbs and I was almost 5'4. I'm still 5'4 and often wonder if starving myself stunted my height...I guess I'll never know.

I didn't eat Breakfast, for lunch I had a soft pretzel and a lemonade, for dinner I ate rice with some margarine on it. I would eat fruit in season.

I think when I met my hubby I was probably 130-150 lbs...I was 19 and I think I ended up partying to that weight.

Gradually I think I got comfortable with him and I started eating again. I think my body was in shock and kept on everything I ate...I'm now 319 lbs and ashamed of myself! I have a sedentary job...my boobs have always been huge so its truly hard to exercise!!! Even when I starved myself I wore 2 sports bras and it didn't help. I was the gal running in gym class with my arms up in front of me trying to stop the pain...

I'm just so ready to start new!!! I want to have babies...2-4 I hope. I got pregnant when I was 23 and had a miscarriage. I tried after that but it never happened. I think I started eating more after that as well. The doctors I went to always told me it was my weight. So I'm hoping that I'll have babies soon! I have the symptoms of PCOS and my sister has it.

I want to run marathons, get out and play games and sports with my friends and family, get my nursing degree and get a job where I'm not sitting all day.

I want to...

Ride on a plane without a seat belt extender

Sky dive

Bungee jump

not get winded walking upstairs

not have achy knees

Have my boobs bigger than my stomach

Wear regular sized clothes

Buy clothes off the rack and not at a specialy shop

Buy cute bras and undies

Not be so self conscience about mysel

Be happy

Etc etc lol

[tallysfunny 363]

Girl, you have a plan, you have the drive...rock it out!! You want babies...keep that foremost in your mind. My psychologist I saw for my eval gave me a couple good ideas to use in my journey. He said to take an index card or something and write down my top 5 reasons for changing my life with this surgery. Don't worry about bing vain or anything because this is for YOU and your eyes only. You need this in order to keep yourself motivated when you feel like it was a bad choice or when you want to make bad food choices, etc. I'm working on mine. And since I'm so out there anyway...I'm going to use a dry erase marker and post them on my bathroom mirror too.

Good luck!