Buyer's Remorse- My Horrible Road To "recovery" Post Sleevectomy

[LezzieLez 180]

She hasn't been online since September 4th. I hope things are ok.

[disneydee 0]

I am living through a nightmare since May 15 and was wondering how the original poster is doing now?

[NORCALRN 60]

i share in your physical and emotional pain. i, too, am a nurse and i also has severe complications. but i have to say, kaiser in northern california took care of me (sleeve in mexico). still on 14 hours of formula (impact peptide 1.5). gonna try to go back to work 8-12-13. been off since 7-2012. i hope for your very best outcome....keep us posted on your progress and remind yourself how amazing you are!!!!!

[nyorker 67]

Sheesh i feel like bailing on the surgery 8/21..

[cindymg 629]

Sheesh i feel like bailing on the surgery 8/21..

I have such sympathy for the posters who have had such complications. But nyorker, please be aware that the rate of complications is actually very small. Many of us have had NO complications. No leaks, no blood clots, no pain. I've never even had any nausea or vomiting. If I didn't have 5 little scars on my tummy and the inability to eat very much, I might think the surgery never happened. I'm 3 months post op, down 47 lbs. and feel fabulous!!

[NDN_RN 527]

I have such sympathy for the posters who have had such complications. But nyorker' date=' please be aware that the rate of complications is actually very small. Many of us have had NO complications. No leaks, no blood clots, no pain. I've never even had any nausea or vomiting. If I didn't have 5 little scars on my tummy and the inability to eat very much, I might think the surgery never happened. I'm 3 months post op, down 47 lbs. and feel fabulous!![/quote']

Same here. No complications or pain. Occasional discomfort when I over eat...that's it. Down 90 pounds since Oct 3 2012. Scars hardly visible and fading

Done Did It!

[Kalimomof3 613]

Sheesh i feel like bailing on the surgery 8/21..

I had a few issues 1 month post op and was in the hospital not able to eat for about 3 weeks. My docs took care of me and avoided reoperation.I would 100% do it again this surgery has changed my life. No more BP meds and I can sleep c-pap free,no achy feet,knees,back unless I really do something to cause it. I really empathize with the OP and anyone who has experienced severe complications like these. The fact remains that the risks while present are low and these folks represent that 1% . I wish nothing but the best for the OP and anyone else going through a horrific experience with the sleeve. The sleeve still saves more lives than it takes.

[jsd2 39]

"I had a few issues 1 month post op and was in the hospital not able to eat for about 3 weeks. My docs took care of me and avoided reoperation.I would 100% do it again this surgery has changed my life. No more BP meds and I can sleep c-pap free,no achy feet,knees,back unless I really do something to cause it. I really empathize with the OP and anyone who has experienced severe complications like these. The fact remains that the risks while present are low and these folks represent that 1% . I wish nothing but the best for the OP and anyone else going through a horrific experience with the sleeve. The sleeve still saves more lives than it takes."

To everyone who has asked about my mom over the last year:

Unfortunately my mother passed away due to her complications from her weight loss surgery. She was confident and optimistic until the end thinking it was just another stupid thing she would have to live through. She was wrong, she died of malnutrition, pneumonia and other complications attributed to the surgery.

I almost deleted the email alert that someone had replied to her post but I'm glad I didn't I'm glad I came to this site and read her story again. It's funny that she set the account up and linked it to my email because she didn't have one at the time. I think it's kind of a blessing though to get a reminder like this about her.

To the person who wrote the previous reply- f*** you. I don't really care if you think the surgery helps more people than it hurts because I absolutely think you're wrong. Wait another 10 years and see the long term effects of this horrible procedure. These doctors are slicing you apart and telling you that you don't need a part of your body that God decided you did based on very few years of research.

I don't know what the answer is for any of you. Surgery, pills, diet, exercise, I don't know. I do know that if I could rewind the clock and had the sweet pleasure of being with my preciousmom again that week before her first surgery I'd say- please don't do this it will kill you.

Do what you want, all of you will anyway. But before you go through this please, please, please research it, watch the biggest loser and extreme weight loss and know that no matter what lies you are being told - there is another way.

on behalf of my mother- RIP Mommy, I love and miss you forever!!!!!

[Cindy's WL Roadtrip 9]

I'm so grateful to have found this site and have read a number of stories that made me feel less alone in my own struggle. Here is my story:

March of 2008 I saw a weight loss surgeon who said all the right things to convince me I was too fat to lose weight on my own and the only way to have lifelong success was to sign up for WLS which required a thousand dollar deposit. I weighed 265 lbs at the time and in my late 30s was far too tired to try another diet and exercise program that would inevitably result in another 10lb weight gain. January of 2008 my employer switched to a new insurance carrier' date=' I submitted paperwork in March for coverage for WLS and eventually got the definitive "no" in November 2008. Fast forward to October 2009, same doctor, same spiel, weight now 295lbs and co-morbidities presented to insurance carrier requesting coverage- denied. Februaury 2011, made a "lets just see" call to insurance carrier to find out if requirements were met........found out that one more year of a documented weight and BMI over 40 and the coverage would be extended! I put my ducks in a row and within 2 weeks of my initial doctors visit in February 2012 I was able to schedule my surgery for mid March.

I was shocked to find my weight ballooned to 347lbs but thrilled when I lost 16 lbs pre-surgery in a short 12 days. I took 5 days off work, gave away all the food in my pantry and bought the cutest pajamas I could find for my 3 day hospital stay. I packed my bag on Sunday and even though I was nervous and exited I slept until 5am when I took a luxurious bubble bath and set out for the hospital @ 7am. In pre-op my precious daughter sat and prayed with me, my anesthesiologist joked about just turning the big 40 too, my surgeon came in and smiled, answered my questions, quelled my fears and prayed with my daughter and I.

Nothing but blackness.

I barely woke to find myself in PACU alone and asked for my daughter to be allowed in.."sure honey, which one is she?"..."hmm, oh, she's the one with pink hair!". My sweet daughter came in and praised God with me that I was breathing and everything seemed fine. Fade to black again. I'm in a private room now and my daughter is sleeping on the sofa. The nurse comes in, the IV is checked, "here's your button for the morphine pump. Any time you feel pain coming on you press it." I'm not in pain, I feel my stomach and it feels flat already, stupid, it must be the drugs. My surgeon comes in with his PA and he looks flushed, sweaty and triumphant, "eveything went wonderful! no problems, a textbook case if there ever was one." we smile and I joke about calling What Not To Wear to get a new wardrobe.

I get up to the bathjroom as soon as I can. I'm anxious to see how I look and change out of the hospital gown. It's been 3hrs since surgery and i'm in my pajamas, robe and snuggly slippers and my daughter takes my arm and we begin our walk around the unit. I walk and walk, smiling and thinking what a good patient I am, no DVTs for me. My stay is uneventful, day 3 my surgeon smiles and says "time to go home!" I fill my prescriptions but I haven't touched the pain medicine and feel so powerful that I drive myself home.

Then the horror begins. The first noght i'm home I wind up in the bathroom with forceful diarhea that comes in waves of gut wrenching spasms. Over and over again, just foul smelling liquid, I sit there too long and now i'm sick, I pull the trash can over and vomit clear liquid until I think i'm going to pass out. My daughter gets me to bed, time to take the meds and not try to do it on my own, I slump back and its daytime now. My head is spinning and the spasms come again, diarhea, vomit.... I step on the scale, smile in a drug haze and think wow i've lost 2 more lbs! Nothing is clear anymore, what day is it? what time is it? did I take my pills? was it a dream or did I really eat a piece of chicken from the refrigerator? why won't the nausea stop? why do the Protein shakes suddenly taste like dog butt? I can't get anything in, i'm trying to force 2oz popsicles down but when I finish one its back to the bathroom with waves of diarhea and vomiting. Day 6 post-op, I manage to take a shower with my daughter holding me up, pack 2 Protein Shakes and my giant Water bottle and trot off to work. I make it 2hrs into a ten hour shift and spend most of it in the bathroom vomiting blood...time to call the doctor.

I talk to the nurse who tellls me to drink as much Water as I can. I can't. I call and talk to another nurse who says to try a different Protein shake. I'm weak and sick and starting to lose it...I scream at my daughter "why won't you help me?". I call the nurse again, the PA calls me back "have you been able to take your meds and get some water in?" no, NO! It's been 11 days since surgery and now we're worried for some reason and my daughter has my bag packed and we're back at the hospital where they have my room ready and they put me back in a hospital gown. I don't see my doctor until Monday but Fri, Sat and Sun a variety of PAs mand other surgeons from the office come in and tell me things and they'll support me and some people have a harder time and just give it time, time time.

Monday the first of many PICC lines come and the tests start. In 3 days I blew 11 IV lines. The PICC line sounds wonderful but they hit my ulnar nerve and the vein occluded and I went back to my room with an open hole in my arm, a second PICC and a gown covered in blood..how did that happen with a sterile drape? So I can't eat but they think I won't and they tell me all the reasons I need to and they threaten if I don't its time for TPN. I try, I puke. I try everything, Unjury- ick, water-gross, eggs-vomit, pudding, ice cream, sherbet, yogurt, Jello... the nausea wells up from my toes and never ends. The TPN starts on Tuesday, I leave the hospital 13 days later, Maundy Thursday, I beg because tomorrow its Good Friday and I can't bear to be away from daughter on Easter.

Monday after Easter I have lost 8 lbs in the 4 days i've been home, somethings wrong. The doctor says to get a liter of Fluid and some Vitamins, it'll be ok, it's not. Friday the nurses come and set up the home TPN and show me how to do IV push meds, the saline, phenergen, saline, heparin, again, the zofran, again, 8 times a day. My house becomes and infirmary, boxes and boxes of supplies, dressings, medicine, saline, alcohol swabs, heparin. The dog can't be out when the dressing is changed, the TPN bag is changed once a day, add the Vitamins, push the medicine.

It takes a few weeks and the meds are doubled, the nausea just won't fricking stop. The TPN is my savior. another month, double the meds again, brief periods of relief, my weight stabilizes @ 317....I had WLS for this? I can't work, i'm constantly sick and besides I have a doctors appointment every week and another test, EGD, swallowing, emptying studies, another EGD, but nothing is wrong "everything is fine, it may just take time for you. You might be on liquids for 6 months" my doctor says... liquids? it's been 3 months and I can drink about 12 oz a day... liquids? i'm still on TPN?!

It's been 4 months, I can't stand the TPN, we decrease the time and I try to eat what I can when I can. My weight is 318, d?@ WLS! We double the meds, the phenergen is 4 times the dose it was when I had surgery, does anyone know this causes heart problems? We decrease the TPN, I can only eat right after I push the meds and I do it again right afterwards, then I pass out... weight loss is tough work, I manage to get down to 314.

Somethings wrong, I feel sick, sicker than usual haha...my daughter is talking to the nurse at the ER, "no she feels really sick, her heart is skipping beats maybe? her blood pressure is up. look at her arm, do you think it's swollen? what's that black mark?" They tell me I have a UTI and send me home, its Monday. I can't breathe, i'm having a heart attack, I know it, its Wednesday and we're back at the ER, the doctor smiles and says its anxiety, take some Ativan and keep taking your antibiotic...are you kidding? I throw up the antibiotic, it stinks, I crush the Ativan and sleep for days. Its Friday and the nurse calls, "how are you" my arm hurts and its swollen, "GO BACK TO THE ER" I can't, I fall back asleep. Its Saturday and I can't find my wrist, my arm is a thick puffy balloon like they use to make balloon animals. My fingers won't bend, doesn't matter cause I can't feel them anyway, i'm sick, I vomit and try to push my meds, I get in 2ccs of saline and it feels like my arm is a water balloon...I push a cc and I think I see it literally filling up, theres a black gnarled line around my upper arm, looks like a barbed wire tattoo, thank God for WLS.

I'm at the ER again, its Saturday night and i'm sure they'll admit me, they HAVE to pull the PICC and give me a new one, surely they'll see that, I can't breathe, please give me some Ativan and phenergan, i'm gonna puke again. A nurse comes in and says he's from Interventional radiology, doesn't even touch my arm but smiles and leaves, we hear him outside the door "you've gotta pull that PICC, it's really bad!" a tech comes in with an ultrasound machine and pushes on the outer part of my arm, over and over, slimy gel, pushing harder, my arm isn't quite so numb now, its killing me on the underside, my armpit aches and the inner portion of my upper arm feels like someone is firing a gun into it every time they touch me. "Good news!" the ER doc smiles and tells me its just a little superficlal blood clot...yay! all we need to do is apply warm compresses and it will go away, have some noroc for the pain...great, more crap I can't swallow. "What should I do if it gets worse? what if it swells up more?" don't worry "It's fine, no need to come back even if it gets bigger, warm compresses and you'll feel alot better"

It's Monday and the weekend went by in a drug induced haze. I can't use my PICC, I crush the norco and ativan and try to stay asleep, no not asleep, blacked out, like anesthesia until the doctors office opens Monday. I tell the nurse, she sets up an appointment at Interventional Radiology for them to pull and replace the PICC on Tuesday, good, hopefully i'll die by then. Its 6pm Monday and I can't take it, I might be hallucinating, I know i'm dying, I moan and rock, i'm in the car, off to the ER again. I wait for hours while people scream and cry, everybody is taken before me, I pull my sweatshirt and cover my head, I moan and lick the blood from cracked lips, I can't even stand up to go to the bathroom and vomit, 4 hours later and they wheel me back. Nurse after nurse comes in to try to start an IV, "she's dehydrated and a tough poke" "I KNOW! she's so ill tho, what are we supposed to do???" check her feet, no veins, we're gonna have to go in thru the femoral.....God no, I can't remember if I have underwear on and they're gonna cut into my groan to find a vein.

"Great news!" we found a cluster of blood clots under your arm, no not one, there are several vericose veins bulging out of your arm, the PICC went bad and they strangulated and now they have clots in them. You're gonna die if you throw one to your heart or lungs, we're starting the lovanox, you're gonna be fine. 3 days of terror, I'm admitted to the hospital and the doc upstairs decides she knows what I need, they pull the PICC from my grossly swollen arm and I beg for some dilauded "this isn't a painful procedure, you don't need anything for pain." and she teaches the student nurse how to yak=nk 4 feet of tubing and wire from my arm while I sob, my daughter cries and starts to yell. The doctor leaves, she won't come back or write orders, i'm sick, no pain meds or nausea meds, try some tylenol, f**** you. I cry and demand to see another doctor, I call my doctor and the oncall doctor screams at the charge nurse...they give me ativan and phenergan, my daughter yells and threatens, the nurses hate to come in my room.

Wednesday morning is the first and last time I see my surgeon, he pops his head in and smiles "so your PICC is gone now, thats what happens" when you screw up and get a blood clot is what he doesn't say. I'll see you in my office next week and we'll talk about a feeding tube. What? I had WLS 4 and a half months ago... I cry and turn and face the window, I keep the shades down.

I'm sick of this, I finally get to leave @ noon on Wednesday. I have a script for Warfarin and an order to have my blood drawn every day, I have no PICC line, no IV push meds, no TPN and my arm looks like I was going for a Popeye look. I sob on the ride home. When I go to the lab the next morning they stick me 6 times and still don't get enough to run the PT/INR to check my clotting times. I fall out of the car as I try to go inside, I just sit on the grass and contemplate throwing up on the lawn, I see the neighbor and when she waves I think I should strip off my clothes and just run shrieking down the street... I need a laugh, otherwise I just cry. I'm so depressed, I see my primary doc, he orders me oral nausea meds, a compression sleeve for my arm and listens to me cry. I tell him my heart is skipping a beat, he says "phenergan can cause permanent heart damage" f*** phenergan.

It's 12 days since I left the hospital without a PICC. The last thing my surgeon said was that they couldn't find a reason for my symptoms, he even asked the doctors at a seminar in California and they were all puzzled, oh well, too bad for me. My weight is down to 300 lbs now, it was 312 when I left the hospital. I made the mistake of going back to the ER last week Tuesday because my chest hurt and I was coughing and that same shortness of breath and heart thing came back. they said I was fine and were sending me home when I looked the ER doc right in the eye and said "with all due respect, the last time you said I was fine I had a blood clot that almosgt killed me, please, can you just check everything to make sure i'm ok?" tears in my eyes, he smiles, lets run another test. Theres a shadow in my lung, likely pneumonia but we can't be sure the clots haven't moved. We'll keep you for observation but we won't admit you, you're probably fine buit we'll do some IV fluids and antibiotics to be sure. They take me upstairs, I know whats coming next, nurse after nurse tries to start the IV, IM pain meds, I ask for nausea meds at 6:30 am and by 2pm I still haven't gotten any. I can't stand it so I leave, they chase me and try to make me sign something saying if I die its my own fault. I get home and chew a phenergan, drink some lortab and pass out.

My primary doc said he would figure out how to get me seen by a specialist, I won't return the calls from my surgeons office, if I could put a stop payment on his check I would but insurance has already paid his fee. Maybe he's right, there's nothing to explain my symptoms, I doubt that, my skin is grey and I look like a chemo patient because my long thick brown hair has fallen out in Patches and I have a kind of crazy eyed look to me. I'm hungry and thirsty, I think I look like I could be a victim of starvation but then I laugh because i'm still so fat.

I knew the risks of the surgery, pulmonary embolism, DVT, sleeve leak, infection. I was a nurse for 10 years and took care of hospice patients who looked better than me. I signed on for a magic pill, a fantastic surgery that would finally help me get to a healthy weight so I could see my daughter graduate from medical school, get married and hold my grandchildren. I wanted to avoid diabetes and stop heart disease, funny how it all worked out.

If you have experienced any of the pain, nausea, depression, sadness, fear, frustration, anger or disgust like I have, tell me your story and let me know i'm not alone, i'm not crazy and it does get better. :-)[/quote']

Wow, that sounds like a nightmare. I am sorry to hear about your struggles and challenges. I hope you are on the road to recovery. My prayers are with you.

[Wags 549]

"I had a few issues 1 month post op and was in the hospital not able to eat for about 3 weeks. My docs took care of me and avoided reoperation.I would 100% do it again this surgery has changed my life. No more BP meds and I can sleep c-pap free' date='no achy feet,knees,back unless I really do something to cause it. I really empathize with the OP and anyone who has experienced severe complications like these. The fact remains that the risks while present are low and these folks represent that 1% . I wish nothing but the best for the OP and anyone else going through a horrific experience with the sleeve. The sleeve still saves more lives than it takes."

To everyone who has asked about my mom over the last year:

Unfortunately my mother passed away due to her complications from her weight loss surgery. She was confident and optimistic until the end thinking it was just another stupid thing she would have to live through. She was wrong, she died of malnutrition, pneumonia and other complications attributed to the surgery.

I almost deleted the email alert that someone had replied to her post but I'm glad I didn't I'm glad I came to this site and read her story again. It's funny that she set the account up and linked it to my email because she didn't have one at the time. I think it's kind of a blessing though to get a reminder like this about her.

To the person who wrote the previous reply- f*** you. I don't really care if you think the surgery helps more people than it hurts because I absolutely think you're wrong. Wait another 10 years and see the long term effects of this horrible procedure. These doctors are slicing you apart and telling you that you don't need a part of your body that God decided you did based on very few years of research.

I don't know what the answer is for any of you. Surgery, pills, diet, exercise, I don't know. I do know that if I could rewind the clock and had the sweet pleasure of being with my preciousmom again that week before her first surgery I'd say- please don't do this it will kill you.

Do what you want, all of you will anyway. But before you go through this please, please, please research it, watch the biggest loser and extreme weight loss and know that no matter what lies you are being told - there is another way.

on behalf of my mother- RIP Mommy, I love and miss you forever!!!!![/quote']

I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. Thank you for letting us know and for your warnings regarding this surgery.

[TES 858]

on behalf of my mother- RIP Mommy, I love and miss you forever!!!!!

JSD, I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear mother. Her love for you was apparent in her posts.

[ggdrop 12]

I don't know what the answer is for any of you. Surgery' date=' pills, diet, exercise, I don't know. I do know that if I could rewind the clock and had the sweet pleasure of being with my preciousmom again that week before her first surgery I'd say- please don't do this it will kill you[/quote']

I'm so sorry your mother passed. This has scared the hell out of me. My daughter is 6.... I was wanting to do this so I could share her youth and her life with her and be the mother I want to be.

Not have her not even know me....... if this happened to me.

I'm so so sorry

[NY1966 5]

I am new to the site and researching WLS experiences.

I am kind of a pessimist. But, I am skeptical about the entire set of postings that I am reading.

How can someone that is so sick and ill from surgery almost write a book about it? If I were so sick, I do not think I can get my fingers to type 2 words.

I am curious why this member never mentioned a Surgeons name, or Hospital name. If she meant to get the word out about her horrible experience and surgery, it seems that most people would want to let the forum know the person/hospital who is responsible. But, no names are mentioned?

Also, why is the daughter still communicating and posting with people online on behalf of her mother after a year?

It seems the greif would be overwhelming and the account should be closed..

Some things just do not jive.. Sorry..

I wish everyone well in there WLS.. Still trying to figure mine out.

[enigmachik 403]

I am so so sorry to hear your mother passed. No one should have to lose a parent at such a young age. I ache for you. I didn't know your mother, but I appreciated her posts. It was very obvious that she loved you deeply and she was very proud of you. Did you stay in Med School? I know your mother was grateful for all of the help you gave her. I wish you healing and happiness. God bless.

To NY1966 -- Why would you create an account just to say you doubt the validity of this post? I doubt someone would have the foresight to start a thread like this, complete with a vast amount of detail, and then leave it alone for an ENTIRE year just to put forth a dramatic lie. What would be gained by doing that?

[PdxMan 4,292]

I am new to the site and researching WLS experiences.

I am kind of a pessimist. But, I am skeptical about the entire set of postings that I am reading.

How can someone that is so sick and ill from surgery almost write a book about it? If I were so sick, I do not think I can get my fingers to type 2 words.

I am curious why this member never mentioned a Surgeons name, or Hospital name. If she meant to get the word out about her horrible experience and surgery, it seems that most people would want to let the forum know the person/hospital who is responsible. But, no names are mentioned?

Also, why is the daughter still communicating and posting with people online on behalf of her mother after a year?

It seems the greif would be overwhelming and the account should be closed..

Some things just do not jive.. Sorry..

I wish everyone well in there WLS.. Still trying to figure mine out.

If you read the thread, you will see that in post #62, DisneyDee made a post. When you create a topic, you receive emails when anyone makes a post to it. In their response, post #68, she states her mother used her daughter's email when signing up for the account as she didn't have an email address at the time.

Maybe the whole thing is made up ... I doubt it, but it doesn't matter. Since you are researching WLS, then you do know that people who get some form of bariatric surgery do die. They have stories. Just because they don't tell it to your liking doesn't mean these stories don't exist. Somebody has to be that 1%, so let's not discount them nor their stories.

To the daughter of the OP, I am sorry your mother had to be in the 1%. As she said, she knew she could die either way, as did I. I weighed the risk and decided to go for it. I hope you will be able to find peace with your mother's decision.