What Was Your Final "straw That Broke The Camels Back"

[Califlower83 33]

For me I feel like my whole life has been straws breaking the camels back and me ignoring it or looking the other way.

Well the first is being overweight my whole life! Having a kid point out that I had stretch marks in the 5th or 6th grade, being called the "fat April" in 8th grade when another girl named April started at the same school, getting my first drivers license and lying about being 190lbs (which to this I've never weighed, or changed), to having to describe myself as a BBW/"more to love" on dating sites almost as more of a disclaimer than a description of who I am.

Next feeling like I have tried EVERY diet just to loose a little and gain a lot more, and I am now heavier than I have ever been! I've been on Weight watchers (3 times), slim-fast, xenedrine, phentermine, south beach, Atkins, the lemonade diet, bee pollen pills, juicing, HCG (both 800 and 500 calorie versions), and straight up starvation! I got down to 210 on HCG but it was so hard to maintain on my own that since I've crept up to the doorstep of 300lbs!

After that, watching my mother and sister go through weight related complications from diabetes and high blood pressure. My sister is only 40 and she is facing knee surgery and can no longer work! My mother is not yet 60 and is experiencing everything from glaucoma to episodes of diabetic shock and kidney problems, which is beyond scary knowing my grandmother died from complications at around 58.

In addition to all that, gaining more than 60 pounds in the last few years has forced me to notice how much my life has changed for the worst, I can barely lift my leg up to tie my shoe, I've had to have my work uniform repaired so many times I've been wearing pants with broken clasps the last few months because I'm too embarrassed to get them fixed again, having swollen feet and ankles in the mornings, sweating like a pig from a brisk walk, being short of breath when I have a lot to say (that's right talking leaves me gasping for air!), making excuses and straight up lying about why I'm sweating or short of breath ("I ran here from my car cause I didn't want to be late!"), having thousands of dollars worth of brand new clothes with tags on because every "motivation dress" I buy gets replaced by 2 pairs of fat jeans!!

Lastly wanting to live! I'm in my early 30's and about 8 years ago one of my best friends had gastric bypass and I told myself I was going to do it on my own and I would never have to do something so drastic! Now I'm wishing I would have done it then, here I am almost 32, single with zero prospects while everyone I know is getting married or on their second baby (even girls I used to babysit are getting engaged!), not having the confidence to go for the things I want in life ( finding out I got passed over for a promotion because I was too scared to apply), and I am finding myself pulling away from friends and family, I lie about having to work because I don't want to go out and be the fat friend, I avoid pictures at family functions, I'll designate my self to stay in and babysit so I don't have to go out, I spent the last 2 trips to Vegas mostly in the hotel room, I have never been on a roller coaster because I have always been afraid of being too fat ( but I lie and say I'm scared of them), I haven't flown in a while but I have anxiety every time I think about the seat belts or spilling over into the next persons seat.

I am still in the very early stages of the process, I have my orientation next month, but my doctor told me I was a candidate for the sleeve and I have had a physical and lab work done. I am hoping things go smoothly with the insurance, but I'm totally willing to go to Mexico and pay out of pocket because I really feel like I need this surgery to avoid a life for being a sick, sad, shut in!

Sorry for the super long post but not only did I want to share my reasons for considering the surgery, but also needing to vent to people that understand what I'm going through!

[MeAndTinyTina 241]

@@Califlower83 Have you started the process yet? I hope so. If only I had done this years ago when I was your age. They didn't have the sleeve then, but they did have bypass I think. I can't get the years back, but I am determined to enjoy the second half of my life as a thin person! This isn't the easiest thing in the world to do, but so worth it. Good luck on your journey!

Ellen

[Califlower83 33]

@@MeAndTinyTina

I guess I have started the process, but I'm not 100% on how it goes, I know my insurance covers WLS and I saw a primary care physician who said I would qualify because my bmi is 48, but she thinks I should wait a year! However she said she couldn't tell me what to do and scheduled me for the orientation which is next month. I have already done my lab work so I'm hoping after the orientation I get a referral and then move along the process. I am hoping to be sleeved by June/July I've been researching a lot and it seems like Kaiser in Northern Ca moves pretty quickly so hopefully that's the case with me!

BTW your progress is inspiring! Way to go!! An just like you I can't wait to make up for lost time!!

[Cococat 119]

Califlower83:

There is nothing like having the proper motivation, and you have it. Many of us have been in your position, but many of us had to wait many years to rectify it. The sleeve was not available until recently. You are going to be fine. Your whole life is before you. You are young enough to reach your goal and enjoy it. You will become a princess. After the weight loss, there is no need to be too merciful on the male gender!

[NewgirlfromMd 63]

@@Califlower83

I can relate to so many things you said & I respect you for having the courage to say them! I think a lot of us hold ourselves back from living the life we want to live for one reason or another. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of being noticed even. It sounds like you are on your way and until you talk to a surgeon I wouldn't worry about what your PCP says. You can't go back so don't beat yourself up for what you wish you had done sooner, just keep looking forward! I think you are going to have a lot of fun & excitement after you have your surgery and start a new life in your healthy and more confident body!

[LisaPunkinHead 187]

@@Califlower83,

I was sleeved by Kaiser in Northern California last month. I had my original "options" class in early December, and my doctor referred me to bariatric surgery after that. I had my orientation in January, and they gave me the pre-op diet which I started that day. Lost the weight that they wanted me to lose within a month, surgery was scheduled, and 6 weeks from my orientation I had the surgery. Go for it! Funny, my PCP was completely supportive of my desire to have the surgery. He has been with me the whole way.

[Califlower83 33]

@@LisaPunkinHead Thank you for the response, I was actually just about to post a question about what I should do in the meantime since my orientation to surgery class is not until next month. I'm amazed by how fast the process was for you, hopefully mine can be similar and I can be sleeved by summer like I was hoping!! I have been feeling anxious since I haven't been able to get much information from Kaiser in regards to the steps in the process, everyone(at Kaiser) keeps telling me to wait for the orientation but I feel like I should be doing something to speed up the process right now!

And I am ignoring my PCP, she was trying to talk me out of it saying I should try the weight management classes for a year! I am moving forward anyway because I have tried so many programs over the past 10 years, and in 1 year I could be close to my goal weight and not worrying about my current pre-diabetic status or high cholesterol!

[LisaPunkinHead 187]

@@Califlower83 I do agree, wait until orientation. They will tell you everything you need to know!!! It will be here before you know it. One piece of advice -- be available to take the first appointment offered to you for follow up classes (I went to South San Francisco, so I don't know how the other Kaiser locations do this). Then my psych appointment was a long way out. When I hit the weight loss requested by my surgeon, I called to see if the psychologist had any cancellations -- I got in the next day!! So my surgery was actually the day before my original psych appointment (had I not changed it).

I looked into the weight management program, but also felt that I would fail at it.

Good luck!!! I'd love to hear about your progress!

[Aube 42]

When we couldnt sit on a bus while traveling with a group on a outing. We had to go to the back where the long sit and heat was in mid summer.

[gretcheng 0]

My final straw is embarrassing as this is was unable to fit comfortably in a bathroom stall at work... I tear up thinking about it now. But also getting winded walking up one flight of stairs and pretend like I have a bad case of allergies when I breath..... also, I want to have kids... teach them good eating habits and how to excersize...

[Red0413 53]

My husband and I bought tickets to go on a 2 seater zip line ride. When it got to our turn walked up the stairs and the operator asked us to get on the scale first... In front of everyone. He proceeded to tell us that we were over the weight limit and we would have to ride one at a time. We were absolutely humiliated and ended up leaving. So anyway, surgery is 9 days away. Time to get my life back on track.

[cockapoomom 89]

Honestly, it was a breaking point. At 314 lbs I had zero energy, was depressed and food was a sort of comforting friend. My boyfriend and I were building all leisure activities around eating out, having 1-2 cocktails every night, cooking big meals and being inactive.

At work I was miserable, low self-esteem and just didn't want to be there.

So, I did a 3 week IOP on mindfulness and meditation, starting to make small changes like eliminating Desserts and caloric liquids, implemented more activity into my schedule and just having more compassion and acceptance for myself.

Now I'm just starting this thing, had surgery a week ago and already down 30 lbs from my top weight.

It's a time to dream big and reach for the stars. I'm at the highest level in my life but I know it's gonna be hard work. I still love food, to cook and to entertain and I just know that having a smaller tummy will mean I can still do these things and love them, but in a more moderate and healthful way.

It's going to be an interesting ride and I'm open for all possibilities.

[DeanBean 11]

My breaking point was Diabetes.

Up to that point, I was quite happy being the kind of person who could eat anything I wanted to. I certainly was never going to join a gym or eat salads every day. I went many years without even trying a single diet plan. The trade offs of not being able to go on roller coasters or sit at a booth at a restaurant didn't have that much of an impact. My knee started to deteriorate, but even that didn't bother me until an accident damaged the only good knee I had left. When I couldn't climb stairs or pick something up off the floor AT ALL, that should have bothered me, but it didn't.

Diabetes did the trick, though. I started eating a low carb diet and exercising to maintain my blood sugar. I ended up joining a gym and eventually adopted the daily salad habit. I hit the grieving process pretty hard when I stopped eating my favorite foods. Through that diagnosis, I was pushed to become a healthier person and had to fight the battle between the behaviors I should be adopting (the healthy ones) with the habits I really missed (the unhealthy ones).

[shopgirlks 3]

Final straw for me was my mother's words from childhood becoming reality. She repeatedly would lecture me about my wt and say "You will weigh 500lb before it's over with...and it turns out after I got brave enough to get back on the scales after a 6 month hiatus she was right. I topped out at 502 and said FINALLY enough is enough.

[BackSpin81 350]

Mine was when I has a stroke (mini or not) in 2012, further health risks, and limits I have because of my weight