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What Was Your Final "straw That Broke The Camels Back"



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There are many reasons why am getting this surgery done, but the final straw that broke the camels back was when I had a patient tell me that I should have cancer instead of her because I obviously don't care about my body. I admit that I started to believe her. I knew that she had just received bad news regarding her cancer and that she was just mad at everyone and everything. I had researched and thought about WLS but this was the final push for me to take the first steps.

I get that she's upset about her diagnosis...but gosh if a patient told me that I think I'd lose it :-(

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There are many reasons why am getting this surgery done, but the final straw that broke the camels back was when I had a patient tell me that I should have cancer instead of her because I obviously don't care about my body. I admit that I started to believe her. I knew that she had just received bad news regarding her cancer and that she was just mad at everyone and everything. I had researched and thought about WLS but this was the final push for me to take the first steps.

It's sort of amazing how hurtful people can be. I'm a nurse. I remember sweating up a storm, hustling to keep this pt alive. I dashed into my other patients room and the patient said "you sure move fast for a big girl." I wanted to throw his urinal at him.

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Wow this thread I started is still going!

So much pain but I can relate so much.

Thanks everyone for sharing.

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There were several straws, actually:

1. Breaking a wall-hung toilet off the wall at a staff meeting in an elementary school in my district (I teach high school).

2. The refusal to go up another pants size (from a 32W to a 34W).

3. I was tired of the aches and pains in my knees, hips and lower back every time I moved. This kept me from standing up to teach my classes.

4. Not being able to fully enjoy spending time going places and doing stuff with my husband (who also had sleeve surgery, in August 2013)

5. My PCP telling me that if I did not do something about my weight, my a1c would continue to rise. She then said I'd be put on additional diabetes medication which would cause me to gain even more weight. That was the final thing that caused me to say "NO MAS" and pursue WLS as a way to finally take control of my health.

I do not for one moment regret reaching out to her and asking for her help in this. Luckily, my PCP was very supportive of my decision to have surgery to lose this weight, and has continued to be supportive of my choice. I am thankful every day that I have a skilled surgeon and an aggressively proactive PCP who help me manage my healthcare. It is due in part to their help that I have been as successful as I have been so far.

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Some of these posts just break my heart :(

I've had lots of really negative moments & comments over the years, but what finally brought me here was when my 4 year old asked me if I had another baby in my belly (a year after his little brother had been born) and the few times that he asked me why my belly is so big & jiggly when his isn't. I want to set a good, healthy example for my kids & don't want them to grow up thinking that they have to eat like & look like I do right now. I've slowed down & my asthma is at it's worst...I don't want to miss out on any fun things with my boys anymore because I can't control myself.

Also, a friend of mine was sleeved back in March & she looks fabulous! She's been so honest & helpful & has really encouraged me to go ahead with this. Without her, I'm not sure I'd be ready to consider this yet...

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I don't know if I have a final moment that kind of pushed me over the edge, but there have been life long moments that led me to this. First let me say, I have been overweight my entire life. Aside from the occasional teasing, or family telling me they just wish I could get it under control, I lived a pretty healthy, happy, active life. I just remember always being hungry, chasing the next meal, even as a young girl. I have been on a diet since I was seven years old, when I wanted a gold bikini for the lake. My mom calmly explained to me that fat girls don't get to wear bikinis and if I could lose weight, I could have it.

So began the constant state of either being in a mode of deprivation (not giving into the hunger and cravings - yay me) or a state of indulgence (I deserve this treat, I've been doing so well). Who knows if I would have gotten as heavy as I had if I hadn't started the yo-yo dieting. I remember in seventh grade, when I made cheerleading, they weighed us. I was 5'3 and 172 pounds. The girl closest to my weight was 129.

I've heard my entire life, "You have such a pretty face!" or "You carry your weight so well!" I had told myself that it was better to accept myself than to keep killing myself for six months to lose 40 pounds only to put back on 50 over the next six months.

Finally, I was going through a lot in my life and went in for my annual physical at the age of 33. Imagine my surprise when the scale said 252 pounds! I weighed 235 when I was two weeks overdue with my son. My doctor asked if I had thought about weightloss surgery. Shocked and dismayed, I said no. I always thought I wasn't too far gone to make a permanent change for the better on my own.

After the appointment, I really started thinking and researching. Stats told me I had a 3% chance of losing the weight and, most importantly, of keeping it off, on my own. I thought about my dad and my aunt, who are kind of my genetic roadmaps, and the ups and downs I've seen them go through -- their entire lives. I tried to think of anyone in my Irish-German family who had successfully lost the weight and kept if off. No one.

I had my first appointment 11.5.13 and got sleeved 1.7.14 -- no insurance, but luckily I was able to pull the money from my life savings. I'm only a week over my post op date, but I already feel so liberated, like I have a chance at the one thing I could never get control of in my life -- my weight and my health.

I never heard anyone in my family, no woman or man, tell me they liked or appreciated their body. I want my son and my nieces to know I'm going to take care of myself and my body because I love my body, not because I hate it. I want to lead them through healthy choices and find physical activity that they love. Just like the cycle of abuse, the cycle of obesity is difficult to break. I'm doing this for me -- but also, I'm doing it for them.

I've been reading all your posts and I just want to thank each of you -- your courage to share, to support, to do what you've done -- you've inspired me and for that I will always be grateful.

-Maggie

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I don't know if I have a final moment that kind of pushed me over the edge, but there have been life long moments that led me to this. First let me say, I have been overweight my entire life. Aside from the occasional teasing, or family telling me they just wish I could get it under control, I lived a pretty healthy, happy, active life. I just remember always being hungry, chasing the next meal, even as a young girl. I have been on a diet since I was seven years old, when I wanted a gold bikini for the lake. My mom calmly explained to me that fat girls don't get to wear bikinis and if I could lose weight, I could have it. So began the constant state of either being in a mode of deprivation (not giving into the hunger and cravings - yay me) or a state of indulgence (I deserve this treat, I've been doing so well). Who knows if I would have gotten as heavy as I had if I hadn't started the yo-yo dieting. I remember in seventh grade, when I made cheerleading, they weighed us. I was 5'3 and 172 pounds. The girl closest to my weight was 129. I've heard my entire life, "You have such a pretty face!" or "You carry your weight so well!" I had told myself that it was better to accept myself than to keep killing myself for six months to lose 40 pounds only to put back on 50 over the next six months. Finally, I was going through a lot in my life and went in for my annual physical at the age of 33. Imagine my surprise when the scale said 252 pounds! I weighed 235 when I was two weeks overdue with my son. My doctor asked if I had thought about weightloss surgery. Shocked and dismayed, I said no. I always thought I wasn't too far gone to make a permanent change for the better on my own. After the appointment, I really started thinking and researching. Stats told me I had a 3% chance of losing the weight and, most importantly, of keeping it off, on my own. I thought about my dad and my aunt, who are kind of my genetic roadmaps, and the ups and downs I've seen them go through -- their entire lives. I tried to think of anyone in my Irish-German family who had successfully lost the weight and kept if off. No one. I had my first appointment 11.5.13 and got sleeved 1.7.14 -- no insurance, but luckily I was able to pull the money from my life savings. I'm only a week over my post op date, but I already feel so liberated, like I have a chance at the one thing I could never get control of in my life -- my weight and my health. I never heard anyone in my family, no woman or man, tell me they liked or appreciated their body. I want my son and my nieces to know I'm going to take care of myself and my body because I love my body, not because I hate it. I want to lead them through healthy choices and find physical activity that they love. Just like the cycle of abuse, the cycle of obesity is difficult to break. I'm doing this for me -- but also, I'm doing it for them. I've been reading all your posts and I just want to thank each of you -- your courage to share, to support, to do what you've done -- you've inspired me and for that I will always be grateful. -Maggie

Congrats Maggie! I'm about your same weight and height too. Your story is very encouraging ! Let us know how you are recovering :-)

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I don't know if I have a final moment that kind of pushed me over the edge, but there have been life long moments that led me to this. First let me say, I have been overweight my entire life. Aside from the occasional teasing, or family telling me they just wish I could get it under control, I lived a pretty healthy, happy, active life. I just remember always being hungry, chasing the next meal, even as a young girl. I have been on a diet since I was seven years old, when I wanted a gold bikini for the lake. My mom calmly explained to me that fat girls don't get to wear bikinis and if I could lose weight, I could have it. So began the constant state of either being in a mode of deprivation (not giving into the hunger and cravings - yay me) or a state of indulgence (I deserve this treat, I've been doing so well). Who knows if I would have gotten as heavy as I had if I hadn't started the yo-yo dieting. I remember in seventh grade, when I made cheerleading, they weighed us. I was 5'3 and 172 pounds. The girl closest to my weight was 129. I've heard my entire life, "You have such a pretty face!" or "You carry your weight so well!" I had told myself that it was better to accept myself than to keep killing myself for six months to lose 40 pounds only to put back on 50 over the next six months. Finally, I was going through a lot in my life and went in for my annual physical at the age of 33. Imagine my surprise when the scale said 252 pounds! I weighed 235 when I was two weeks overdue with my son. My doctor asked if I had thought about weightloss surgery. Shocked and dismayed, I said no. I always thought I wasn't too far gone to make a permanent change for the better on my own. After the appointment, I really started thinking and researching. Stats told me I had a 3% chance of losing the weight and, most importantly, of keeping it off, on my own. I thought about my dad and my aunt, who are kind of my genetic roadmaps, and the ups and downs I've seen them go through -- their entire lives. I tried to think of anyone in my Irish-German family who had successfully lost the weight and kept if off. No one. I had my first appointment 11.5.13 and got sleeved 1.7.14 -- no insurance, but luckily I was able to pull the money from my life savings. I'm only a week over my post op date, but I already feel so liberated, like I have a chance at the one thing I could never get control of in my life -- my weight and my health. I never heard anyone in my family, no woman or man, tell me they liked or appreciated their body. I want my son and my nieces to know I'm going to take care of myself and my body because I love my body, not because I hate it. I want to lead them through healthy choices and find physical activity that they love. Just like the cycle of abuse, the cycle of obesity is difficult to break. I'm doing this for me -- but also, I'm doing it for them. I've been reading all your posts and I just want to thank each of you -- your courage to share, to support, to do what you've done -- you've inspired me and for that I will always be grateful. -Maggie

Maggie, I swear I could have written your story - you just described my journey (except I'm Polish-Irish Catholic- lol)!

Congrats to you and thank you for sharing!!!

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My last straw was in November when my bf and I were taking a plane ride and a desk agent comes over and tells us we can have priority boarding with the frequent travelers and families with kids because we're so big we might need more time to board. Apparently, according to him, we are considered disabled so we qualify for more boarding time. That was a real wake up call. I had a rough patch over the last 7 years or so and gained a TON of weight but most of my adult life I've never really been obese. Sure, I've been overweight, maybe 15-20 lbs but never anything like I am now. And it was just so shocking and humiliating to me that there are people/institutions out there thinking I'm disabled. Now, I might have gained a lot of weight but I am strong and mobile, I can still work out, run, all that stuff - I am not some friggin' invalid, barely able to heave my ponderous mass down a plane aisle. But yeah, that's what got me thinking that I don't want people looking at me like some pity case or like I'm somehow less capable than other people.

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  • I kept getting rashes between my extra skin which was causing great discomfort
  • I would have shortness of breath after climbing stairs to bed
  • I'm divorced with not much of a future. My colleague from work got married recently and she made me think. I would like to start dating again one day and find someonw who would love me and find me attractive but I cant with the way i am. I've lots of tyres.
  • Seeing myself on a photo depresses me
  • Going down the road of depression and knowing that I had to change my life around before my mental state would get the better of me

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I had twins in May 2012. They are my world, a world I want to continue to live in. I am 34 and can only remember ONE year of my life (since puberty) that I was happy with the way I looked. It was my senior year of high school and I was anorexic. I knew it was unhealthy, but man did I look great in my prom photos! The sad thing is, those are the only photos that I actually feel good about when I look at them. I look at my wedding photos and they make me sad. How did I let myself get like this? I don't put blame on my parents, but I wish they would have encouraged better eating habits, good options and exercising!

I have several friends who under went WLS. A fee had the gastric bypass and they seem to be right back where they started. Others had the sleeve and look great. I decided a few months ago that I want to look that great. I want to feel great. I am fortunate not up have any other health problems, but I have tried everything on my own and nothing works.

As my kids are turning two soon, I want to be able to go EVERYTHING with them. I want to go on rides with them. I want to walk through the zoo, aquarium, fairs etc. without getting tired. I want to pass along healthy eating habits to them and give be an example for them.

I want to be able to say that I am thin and buy clothes from places other than Lane Bryant. I want to wear high heels without my feet killing me! I want to feel pretty. I want yo feel good about myself, for me. For my husband and for my twins :)

That's what brought me to where I am now! I just got approved through insurance so I am just waiting on a surgery date. It can not come soon enough!

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For me it wasnt the heart attack at 35 or the many doctors warnings....it was one summer day shortly after my grandmother died in 2011 we were moving all her belongings out of her home. Everyone was sitting down indian style taking a break and when I went to get up my legs wouldnt work! I got so scared I started to cry and have a pannic attack in front of my family....I knew right then an there I had to change my life.....couple months later my mom meet someone who had the sleeve an the rest is history! Lol surgery may 8-2013 sw 253 cw 160 gw 140 Iv never felt better in my whole life Iv been heavy since grammer school.....(*'^'*)

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There were several things that led up to my decision to get sleeved. I have always felt over weight (even as a child) and it seemed I was always on some form of diet. It was the typical yo-yo loose/gain cycle. I would gain an average of 5 lbs with each pregnancy (I have 4 kids) and then try to loose the weight. After I divorced, I gained 100 lbs in 1 year (LOTS of stress). I didn't care anymore. My focus then was supporting my 4 kids and put "me" on the back burner.

5 years ago I decided it was time to loose the extra weight (at that time I weighed 230 lbs) and went on a no carb, high Protein, 1200 cal diet. I lost 60 lbs in 7-8 months, then hit a plateau and again had high stress in my life. I managed to keep the weight off for almost 2 years.

Then I moved to a new city, which means dealing with a new primary care provider (I have Hashimoto's thyroid disease and cannot convert synthyroid (T4) into the active T3 and so my medications are higher than what most endocrinologists recommend. So the PCP's always try to lower my medication doses) Of course my weight shot up. When I complained to him that I was frustrated he didn't listen to me and that I was now at 265 lbs. He suggested WLS. I went home and thought about the suggestion and did some further research.

The "last straw" was watching my mother (she is a 225 lb 4'10" butterball but she is my mother) laying in the hospital after her 4th heart attack and the cardiologist telling her she needs to loose weight, get active and keep her diabetes under control. I decided at that moment to go for the surgery. I do not want to end up "stuck" health wise as my mother.

Now, I am more than half way to my weight goal, have decreased my blood pressure and almost reversed the diabetes. My knees no longer hurt when I walk (and I walked 5 miles today in under an hour), I don't get short of breath walking up stairs, I fit clothes that have been hidden in my closet for over 30 years and even was complimented by my ex last week!

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