5 Confessions (Join In)

[Mini Me Wanna~Be 56]

I have not had the surgery yet, im just starting my journey:

• I confess I'm afraid of what the Dr is going to say on my consult visit.
  
• I confess I'm afraid that my insurance will not approve me for the sleeve
  
• I confess that I have been obsessed with VST and read for hours every night when should have been doing other things.
  
• I confess that I am so jealous of all the people who have had surgery and lost weight because if my insurance approves me, I think I will fail and be FAT the rest of my life. (I can't remember when I have weighted less than 200lbs im thinking middle school. My highest weight was 350 im @ 283 now)
  
• I confess I'm afraid I wont be able to eat & drink what I'm supposed to because the Phase's are confusing to me.
  
• I confess I'm afraid that people will think I took the easy way out by having this surgery and be very judgmental of me, esp family. (but from what I have read and learned from you all it's NOT easy at all)
  
• I confess that I'm afraid I will not have people around to give me support and encouragement during my journey.
  
• I confess that I have a fear of not being strong enough to not start drinking diet soda again, that I won't be able to drink all the Water & get all the Protein in that I'm supposed to, to keep my calories & fat intake down and that I wont be able to do the gym and exercise like I will need to out of fear of failure.
  
• I confess that I believe this website is the best thing I have ever found.
  
• I confess I feel & think the people on VST are the bravest people I have ever known. (Even though I don't Know any of you)
  

I confess that I want so badly to be like all of you. Thank you all soooooooooo much for putting yourselves out there and being honest with everyone about your doubts and fears. It makes me feel like I'm not alone in mine :}

[mendymayhem 52]

I confess....

That I'm Hungary. Can't wait for the purée stage

That I weigh myself every day

That sometimes the idea of food makes me weepy

That I'm scared to death of a stall which will surely come and bring me down

That I'm afraid I will be the one freak case where this surgery doesn't work

[VSGRachel 25]

I confess that I'm 2 months out in 2 days and I haven't been to the gym yet.

I confess today I ate 2 funsized butterfingers (Halloween candy)

I confess that I don't count calories, fat, or carbs. I just count Protein and Water and I've still lost 43 lbs.

I confess that I now think its disgusting the amount of food my husband eats at dinner and it almost pisses me off cause he's not fat.

I confess that I thought I already looked hot at 263 pounds and now I just think I'm hotter. (It may just be a backwards body dismorphia thing though lol)

[melshell1 11]

Wow.

* I confess that many things on this post have me really thinking through the choice I am making; frankly speaking, it scared the crap out of me. I am still getting my sleeve but it has given me a lot to think about.

* I confess I am secretly relieved that my health insurance had an exclusion. The months of jumping through hoops was more than I could really handle emotionally. I feel I am now more in control of the process. I say when, I say where, and I say with who. (December, Cancun, Perez)

*I confess that deep down I thought that people who got WLS were just being lazy and now I feel that I have judged myself a failure by my own standards. This is also why I don't want people to know, it is not about privacy, it is about shame.

* I confess that I have felt unhealthy for years and continued to lie to myself. My knees hurt, I am old of breath all the time, and I am never comfortable anymore. Yet somehow, I still saw myself as healthy. ( can you say denial)

* I confess I worry that my relationship with my husband revolves around food. He says he supports my choice but I am not sure he understands the impacts. My husband is more obsessed with food than anyone I know. Eating is what we do as a couple and this is going to be a really difficult transition.

Whew...I think I may need to see one of those nut doctors now .

[Bella86 82]

I love this thread and have read every post!!

I confess...

- that I have weighed myself almost every day (after surgery on the 15th October)

- although I've lost about 12kg since I started pre-op that this is not enough and I should've lost more

- I can't seem to get enough Protein in every day

- I have eaten 3 pieces of chocolate - about one per week - since being sleeved

- I chewed a cheeseburger and spat it out

- other than the cheeseburger episode every other time I see a food court or fast food I am now amazed at the sheet volume of food and how much ppl have on their plate - I used to eat that much!!

- after reading an earlier post I am now choosing a name for my sleeve

- I am so excited that I'm full so quickly and already feel that the sleeve was the best decision I ever made

- I cannot wait to go out with my friends and have a vodka (by the way the post about vodka on rocks with lemon is GOLD!)

- I keep thinking that I am going to fail as I feel like I've stalled already after no weight loss for about a week??

- I am now determined to live and plan on some adventure sports once I've lost some weight - wakeboarding, surfing, sky diving here I come!

[Bella86 82]

Also...

- I laughed out loud reading the toe licking post so gross but hilarious and tempted to try hahaha

[fallingwhisper 187]

I confess that after more than a year of waiting for my insurance to approve, when they finally do (late December) I won't be able to pay the co pay that I'll owe before surgery.

I confess that my credit isn't so good and I'll probably never get approved for a loan to pay it. Money is so tight at the moment, I'm afraid I'll get approved and then by the time I come up with the money it'll expire or something and I'll have to start all over

[delta_girl 931]

I confess....

I had wine on my first vacation in 8 years, though it was my 5th week out, and I do not feel one bit of regret.

I have one cup of coffee, real coffee, every morning and I do not feel guilty in the slightest.

I ate a whole bag of snack size Cheetoes in my third week out, and I don't feel bad about it (I also haven't been very tempted to repeat it, even though they are in the house).

I ate some Pork rinds that were in the break room at work yesterday. I usually hate them, but I was about to get into the pretzles and crackers and at least they had Protein. About 30 minutes after I ate the pork rinds I was very sorry that I did.

I don't share any of these illicit little discretions with my doctor. I'm not perfect but I've been pretty darn good.

[diochick 40]

I love this thread and have read every post!!

I confess...

- that I have weighed myself almost every day (after surgery on the 15th October)

- although I've lost about 12kg since I started pre-op that this is not enough and I should've lost more

- I can't seem to get enough Protein in every day

- I have eaten 3 pieces of chocolate - about one per week - since being sleeved

- I chewed a cheeseburger and spat it out

- other than the cheeseburger episode every other time I see a food court or fast food I am now amazed at the sheet volume of food and how much ppl have on their plate - I used to eat that much!!

- after reading an earlier post I am now choosing a name for my sleeve

- I am so excited that I'm full so quickly and already feel that the sleeve was the best decision I ever made

- I cannot wait to go out with my friends and have a vodka (by the way the post about vodka on rocks with lemon is GOLD!)

- I keep thinking that I am going to fail as I feel like I've stalled already after no weight loss for about a week??

- I am now determined to live and plan on some adventure sports once I've lost some weight - wakeboarding' date=' surfing, sky diving here I come!

[/quote']

Oh do I relate to this! I was sleeved 3/12, have weighed myself daily since then. I used to weigh myself once a year at the doctor! A stall as early as 3 weeks out is EXTREMELY normal. I still have week, 2 week long stalls every now and again. And yes! The food portions anywhere are ridiculously huge. My husband will order something on the rare occasions when we're out, just the main portion is huge, then it has sides as well. Sickens me to see the sizes of meals I used to eat.

[mwrarr 244]

(Pre-op) Confessions...

#1- I still think I can do it on my own. This waiting game is making me crazy. At this rate, since they keep ordering more tests/appointments/follow-ups --& my "October Absence plan" has come & gone, & with holidays running up on us, & my ins hasn't even been submitted so my "December Absence plan" is moot, I will probably not be able to even schedule the surgery until Feb or March. As such, I've started the "pre-op semi-liquid diet" already. I guess worst that can happen is I'll lose the weight anyway without surgery, right? :\

#2- I am afraid that if I really can't lose it on my own, what does that mean for my chubby kids? I can't force them to eat like me post-op. So how do I help them prevent the same path?

#3- I don't know how to be thin. I don't know how to act like a thin person. I don't know how to think like a thin woman. I'm hopeful that I can figure it out.

#4- I worry that once I don't have my spacesuit (fat suit) to hide in anymore, that I still won't be accepted or well-received, and I will have to seriously re-evaluate my entire life's views at that point. I don't want to be right about the world's biases against fat ppl, and if I'm wrong, I hope I have the strength for that kind of therapy.

#5- I confess that I worry too much ;}

347*294/285/135 (*347HW/294SSW) | @Mwrarr | mwrarr.wordpress.com

[Fallenangel2904 494]

- I confess that I have my pre op appointment on Tuesday and I'm terrified because we have yet to submit for insurance approval and I'm almost expecting to not have surgery at this point.

- I confess I wish I could just focus on normal pre surgery jitters instead of the fear that Ive come this far to not even be able to have surgery.

- I confess if things DO go as planned and I'm able to go through with surgery on the 14th, I'm scared I won't have enough time to mentally prepare myself.

- I confess that I'm nervous for surgery. I think my insurance nerves have overshadowed my pre surgery nerves, but they are there. And they are getting larger.

- I confess I gained a pound and I'm trying to get it off before my pre op appointment.

[melshell1 11]

(Pre-op) Confessions...

#1- I still think I can do it on my own. This waiting game is making me crazy. At this rate' date=' since they keep ordering more tests/appointments/follow-ups --& my "October Absence plan" has come & gone, & with holidays running up on us, & my ins hasn't even been submitted so my "December Absence plan" is moot, I will probably not be able to even schedule the surgery until Feb or March. As such, I've started the "pre-op semi-liquid diet" already. I guess worst that can happen is I'll lose the weight anyway without surgery, right? :\

#2- I am afraid that if I really can't lose it on my own, what does that mean for my chubby kids? I can't force them to eat like me post-op. So how do I help them prevent the same path?

#3- I don't know how to be thin. I don't know how to act like a thin person. I don't know how to think like a thin woman. I'm hopeful that I can figure it out.

#4- I worry that once I don't have my spacesuit (fat suit) to hide in anymore, that I still won't be accepted or well-received, and I will have to seriously re-evaluate my entire life's views at that point. I don't want to be right about the world's biases against fat ppl, and if I'm wrong, I hope I have the strength for that kind of therapy.

#5- I confess that I worry too much ;}

347*294/285/135 (*347HW/294SSW) | @Mwrarr | mwrarr.wordpress.com

I can so relate. When I see the weight people loose with the sleeve, I think "Do I know how be that thin?" It sounds silly but when you have been fat your entire adult life you get used to that look in people eyes. That look that they assume you are stupid, crazy, or just plain lazy.

I am having my surgery in December and told my 11 year old son today. As we talked, I sipped on a Protein shake and he ate a kids meal (that is more food than I can ever eat again.) I couldn't help to think how my surgery will affect him.

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[Velena 122]

This is such a great thing to do.

I confess that the biggest reason for me to have the op is so I can have another baby.

I confess I don't eat all my Protein or drink enough Water most days (I find it hard and I forget to eat)

I confess I am scared to be skinny (as I have never been)

I confess I am so worried about excess skin

I confess I am also worried about regaining weight and going back to being fat

Wow I feel so much better

Well I can relate to this except for "having another baby" a little too late for me to do that LOL.

I confess that I have eaten small chunks of homemade brownies that my daughter made.

I confess that a small part of me is ok with throwing up when I eat too much because I'd rather throw up than be fat again.

I confess that I still haven't exactly figured out how much to eat and I often eat too fast to "listen" to my body. I need to work on that!

I confess that I haven't worked out today at all! Then I worry that I'm sabotaging my own weightloss...

[steelergirl 135]

I ate some chips and salsa at dinner..and I ate a Halloween candy ..

I don't get in my Water

I can't get in 60 g protien everyday but some

I am pissed about a two week stall at four weeks out.

I hate when I need advice and no one says nothing. (Like the world revolves around me or something )

I haven't excersicd yet

I wish I was six months or.more out

People that are under 200 pounds getting surgery upset me. Don't know why.

I feel like this wont happen for me..

I can't visualize myself thin...

[spieldose 14]

1. I confess that I am 27 and I have not had sex with my fiancée in three months because I can't stand the way I feel and look.

2. I confess that I weigh myself every morning and I get on and off the scale sometimes 20+ times until I get the exact number 3-5 times in a row.

3. I confess that I tried to eat a taco (minus the shell) five days post op. I have eaten a taco (soft shell) within the past week when I should still be on puréed foods.

4. I confess that I subscribed to some blogs and Instagram people that post about anorexia and eating disorders because I feel that's what I have had all my life (binge/over eating) and now (anorexia in a way).

5. I confess that i thought that this surgery was the easy way out for years. I'm still mad at myself for not being strong enough to resist the temptations of food without a surgery.

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