Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

What Do You Tell People When You Dont Want Them To Know?



Recommended Posts

I'm 10 days out and have told the people who matter. I go back to work in a couple weeks and I'm just waiting for the comments..."Carrie, you look great! What are you doing??" which will be nice comments to hear, but I'm just not ready for the whole school (I work at a high school) to talk about me. I know...I need to figure out how to stop caring so much about what people think.

I was thinking of saying gallbladder surgery , which prompted a new diet (low fat) and once I started losing and feeling better I continued... I don't know. It's probably easier to tell the truth but I feel ashamed in a way. The nice thing is that I'm a lower BMI (started at 32), so I know the weight loss will come off slower. So maybe it won't be so obvious...

What did/do you guys say?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do what makes you comfortable :) you need to focus on healing. But I wouldn't use the gallbladder story because it is a possibility with this surgery. I haven't had the surgery yet so I'm not sure what my answer will be. Good luck and don't let negative people ruin this for you :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I feel the same way. I've told a few close people, but everyone else... how do you pick that topic up? =/ To the 'acquaintances' I've said that I had part of my stomach removed because of digestive problems. I thought about gallbladder too, but at least in the long run, if I DO have to have that removed, I dont have people going 'Whaaaat?' I wish I had the strength/courage to be completely honest (although to be fair, I DID have my stomach removed!) and maybe in some time I will feel differently, but for now if the question arises, that's what I'm going with :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 10 days out and have told the people who matter.

What did/do you guys say?

Carrie, I am also 10 days out and only told close family and friends. I feel the same way you do. I think I will just tell people that I finally wanted to get healthy and am doing something about the weight.

Some may guess about the surgery and some won't. But eating smaller portions and exercising will only show that you are serious about getting the pounds off. No matter what anyone says to you, keep you head up. You made a great decision to get healthy, let them say what they want. When we are both at our goal weight with ROCKING BODIES... Who will care? :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just tell them the truth: I eat less.

If I deem them worthy, they hear the rest of the story.

If not, that's all they need to know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone exactly how it is. Speaking the truth is much easier than going along with a false story.

Even when I returned to work, people asked why I wasn't joining in with morning tea etc. I just told them straight out "I had wls two weeks ago and my diet is restricted for awhile". Most people are intrigued and I love sharing my story. I am proud that I made this decision to change my life for the better.

Unless you tell not one single person, someone is bound to tell someone else (unintentionally of course) but someone always lets the cat out of the bag (so to speak).

But in answer to your question...In my Dr notes, he says that if you don't want to tell anyone it was wls, you can say it was a hiatal hernia repair as the op and recovery are fairly much the same.

Good luck with whatever decision you make

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Carrie' date=' I am also 10 days out and only told close family and friends. I feel the same way you do. I think I will just tell people that I finally wanted to get healthy and am doing something about the weight.

Some may guess about the surgery and some won't. But eating smaller portions and exercising will only show that you are serious about getting the pounds off. No matter what anyone says to you, keep you head up. You made a great decision to get healthy, let them say what they want. When we are both at our goal weight with ROCKING BODIES... Who will care? <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt=':)' />[/quote']

You're right. Maybe if they see me eating smaller portions and no crap it'll make sense..

Thank you. I'm not sure how to add you as a buddy or something. Lol since you're day 10 too! How's it been for you lately?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just tell them the truth: I eat less.

If I deem them worthy' date=' they hear the rest of the story.

If not, that's all they need to know.[/quote']

You're totally right!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone exactly how it is. Speaking the truth is much easier than going along with a false story.

Even when I returned to work' date=' people asked why I wasn't joining in with morning tea etc. I just told them straight out "I had wls two weeks ago and my diet is restricted for awhile". Most people are intrigued and I love sharing my story. I am proud that I made this decision to change my life for the better.

Unless you tell not one single person, someone is bound to tell someone else (unintentionally of course) but someone always lets the cat out of the bag (so to speak).

But in answer to your question...In my Dr notes, he says that if you don't want to tell anyone it was wls, you can say it was a hiatal hernia repair as the op and recovery are fairly much the same.

Good luck with whatever decision you make[/quote']

I may have the courage to tell my closer friends at work (knowing that everyone will find out)...just not right now. Great idea with the hernia because I actually did have one repaired! I didn't know I had one but I had a small one. Hmmm :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I tell everyone exactly how it is. Speaking the truth is much easier than going along with a false story.

Even when I returned to work' date=' people asked why I wasn't joining in with morning tea etc. I just told them straight out "I had wls two weeks ago and my diet is restricted for awhile". Most people are intrigued and I love sharing my story. I am proud that I made this decision to change my life for the better.

Unless you tell not one single person, someone is bound to tell someone else (unintentionally of course) but someone always lets the cat out of the bag (so to speak).

But in answer to your question...In my Dr notes, he says that if you don't want to tell anyone it was wls, you can say it was a hiatal hernia repair as the op and recovery are fairly much the same.

Good luck with whatever decision you make[/quote']

Good for you. Maybe I'll have the courage to tell closer friends at work at some point (knowing itll get out). But I totally did have a hiatal hernia repaired! I didn't know I had one...So that wouldn't be lying. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When people start noticing (the people i dont want to know bout my surgery) and asking How did i do it.... with me I am just going to say I have cut down drinking alcohol (used to b a big drinker), I'm exercising more and on a high Protein low fat diet... And hey I'm not lying???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that lying about it will eventually make you uncomfortable. People are becoming more familiar with gastric surgeries and when they see a rapid weight loss, they can figure it out. I also work at a high school and have been pretty open about it. I find that coworkers, parents, and students are very supportive.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have onl told a couple of people at work, when others ask "what are you doing?" I reply "smaller meals, high Protein and no bread" this is all true. If anyone specifically asks if I have had surgery (they haven't yet) then I have decided to give them the full version.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When people start noticing (the people i dont want to know bout my surgery) and asking How did i do it.... with me I am just going to say I have cut down drinking alcohol (used to b a big drinker)' date=' I'm exercising more and on a high Protein low fat diet... And hey I'm not lying???[/quote']

That is my plan too after surgery. I have told my mom and my family .I have not told my MIL(way too judgemental)and none of my husband's family and never plan to tell them because they will talk $h!t about me. I have also told a couple close friends who are supportive. Anyone else will be told I have had a lifestyle change I eat a lot less and exercise a lot more <period>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have to say, 5 months out, I still struggle with telling people sometimes. Yes, mostly now I don't care, but who's business is it what I've done?

I would not encourage any false stories though like hiatial hernia repair or gall bladder surgery because IF you do eventually decide to be honest with everyone, it taints your integrity. People may wonder what other false things you have said. Not that it matters, but.....

Just say you are changing your eating habits (and working out, if that is the case). It's not a lie because WLS won't get you entirely to your goal.... so I'd encourage you to say something more along the lines of that. Best of luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LadyVeteran1

      Sleeve surgery is on April 14th.  I am counting the days!!  Can't wait!
      · 1 reply
      1. Brookie2shoes

        Me too girl!! Are you in the full liquid diet right now? It’s sooooo hard!

    • buildabetteranna

      Down 33 lbs and slightly stalled, but I'm gonna reevaluate and push through. I started back to work last week after 2 years of being disabled due to mental health as well as my weight. It's a great job and I'm just so happy to have this opportunity at a second chance at life. Hope everyone is having their best journey ❤️ Together, we got this!
      · 2 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Great work Anna! Keep it up 😁

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 1 reply
      1. stevieoriole

        Am feeling this right now. My surgery date is 4/1. Sign the consent tomorrow. I feel like I overloaded myself with too much info, too many opinions. Got to the point where I was wondering if I should do this. Then I thought of my reasons for taking this step and that settled my nerves. Still get moments of doubt but am striving forward. Am just going to follow my book from the surgeon. Joined this because I was told by my dietician that I should do this for support

    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×