I'm Here At The Beach And...

[shellbell125 41]

It’s given me a lot of time to contemplate. Am I really going to get sleeved? Am I willing to make that drastic, DRASTIC change?

Then I realize…It's hard to be 300 pounds at the beach (well everywhere really). The group I'm with, they don't understand nor will they ever. We are on the 3rd floor... I won't even get started on my knees.

They went and climbed the lighthouse, they walk the beach. I'm trailing behind just dragging the umbrella and beach chair 50 feet away. It's hard. It’s humiliating. I have to sit in the front seat of the car because if I sat in the back seat we wouldn’t be able to fit 3 people back there.

So why wouldn’t I jump and say, yes, let’s get sleeved. Why am I having such a hard time with it? I’ve already seen the surgeon and I see the psych on Tuesday.

My life revolves around celebrating food. It’s such a big daily, 3 times a day event, especially on vacation. How would my “new” lifestyle fit in? Will my friends understand or will they get tired of dealing with me and my food restrictions?

I keep wishing there will be a sign saying that I should do this. What if I am missing the sign? What if the sign was my leg giving away getting out of a booth at the restaurant and nearly hitting the ground? What if my sign was not being able to go see a friend in a play because I don’t fit in the theater seat?

What’s a fluffy girl to do?

[thinoneday 445]

Well my dear fluffy girl, you really need to ask yourself if you are REALLY mentally ready for this. . . to me it seems like you care more about what your friends will think and about food celebrations. . . with this surgery you have to be willing to sacrifice alot! You have to be ready to give up mass amounts of food. . in the first few weeks you mourn the loss of your freedom to eat whatever and whenever, it's very hard, you only eat pea sized amounts and then you don't feel so great. . . but this is a decision only you can make. . . there are no signs, no miracles, no nothing out there. . . only you. . . .so honey, you really have to think and make this something YOU really want. . .and not give a damn about what your friends will think. . . .good luck!

[Raven21 121]

*!*!*!*!*!*!*! DO IT!!! *!*!*!*!*!*! (pretend this is flashing)

I know exactly how you feel! My legs and arms are tan, in front. The backs are white because I'm going to lay on my stomach? Hahahahaha. I can't even go without a chair because I'd never be able to get up off the ground. Hard enough getting out of a chair. And God forbid I should forget my chair because I can't use anyone else's because I will break it! Even worse, I sweat like a PIG! How cliche', the fat girl sweats a lot.

It's the little things like this. The constant, daily, BS that we have to consider before anything! Because we are fat. Let's not be fat anymore! Let's think about eating different food in place of thinking about how to be fat today. Because I spend way too much time trying to figure out how to "fit" fat into the lifestyle I want!

[SunnyCox 245]

I struggled with the decision too. Post op, it is easier to know that you made the right decision without any doubts. Here is something I posted a few days ago about still being able to Celebrate food:

You'll still have food. It is never going to go away. Within a week post-op, I was sad about cooking spaghetti for my family. I kept thinking that I would never be able to eat a big plate of spaghetti again. Then, it hit me. I will be able to eat spaghetti again. I'll have a child's size portion one day, and I'll be satisfied like I was never satisfied before. I won't be eating two huge helpings, four pieces of garlic bread and two cokes in one setting.

I feel good about what I eat. I am not gorging myself on huge restaurant portions. It is kind of nice being the person at the table that eats the petite portion. I like to secretly think that the other women are jealous of me because I eat so little (because I used to feel a twinge of jealousy that all my thin cousins would eat half as much as I did at a meal!) I no longer feel as though I am wasting food when I can't eat an entire portion. I don't have the desire to finish off every last little bit. I also don't need dessert.

My tastes are already changing. I'm not stopping for fast food. I'm searching out fresher, tastier foods that I didn't appreciate as much pre-op. I have become a food explorer. I've been trying new fruits and vegetables from the frou frou grocery store with all the fancy food! I'm cooking Thai food at my house - something that I've never done before. I want to play with spices and fresh herbs. Don't be afraid, a whole new food adventure is coming!

How will your friends feel about your restrictions? My friends don't even notice. I have told very few people about my surgery. I've had a few people mention that I wasn't eating very much, but when I said that it was all I needed right now. There really wasn't any one who pushed me on the issue. When I go out to eat with my friends, I can always find something on the menu that fits my new lifestyle. This may be a little harder while you are on the liquid phase, but you can order a good Soup and just eat the broth. Those around you won't notice. I stayed with Soups when I was on soft foods. Once I got to solid food, there were no issues. There is something for you at every meal to eat out.

On the other hand, if you complain about your portion or your meal constantly, I am sure that your friends will notice.

Sounds like you have a lot of signs. You just need to embrace those signs, and realize that being anxious is part of the process. Come here for support from people who have made it through that part of the journey.

[fluffylibra30 323]

Do IT!! I weighed 292 on my surgery day. I felt horrible about myself. Felt horrible last summer at the beach when I was that weight.

If your friends love you they will understand you are getting healthy.

And you will still have food celebrations. It will take a few months to get back to normal but I Celebrate with my family. I don't eat as much ofcourse but I do enjoy a bite of everything. Then I concentrate on the actual reason we are together. It Is completely worth it I promise!

[mrscastillo 32]

I know how you feel. All my good friends are thin....they say "just start running" but they don't get it.... I'm 2 1/2 of them! Ive already had a surgery on my knee and I'm only 24! I can't keep living like this and if they can't understand and support us in our decisions, time to find new friends.....friends like you and me, who understand what we're going through!

Good luck in your journey my friend!!! You've always got friends here try and find a support group near you, make new friends.... I plan to after my surgery..... None of my friends understand so much that I'm not even telling them I'm getting sleeved!

[kimmy*custis 276]

I completely understand how you feel. You shouldnt care what your "friends" think, they should be supporting you. This is a life changing event and you need to be prepared. You CAN do this, just think how much better you will feel, no sore joints, no struggling to get out of booths at restaurants etc. I can eat anything I ate before just smaller portions. Yes, you need to change what you eat but it was actually easy for me as I love veggies and fruits. I have gone to all my same restaurants I used to go to and I just make healthier choices. I go to Mexican, sushi, Italian etc and it can be done. I am a cheap date too as I can make several meals out of one order. My husband is diabetic and I have been cooking diabetic friendly meals and they are really good! We are here to support you, best of luck on your decision!

[Lissa 2,631]

Everyone else has said almost everything else I would say, so I'll just add this. One of my inspirations was an aunt who has had over 20 operations due to her uncontrolled diabetes and obesity issues. She "only" weighs about 250, but she's 5'1, so her BMI is astronomical. She nearly lost a foot to gangrene (may still lose it); she's had numerous operations to save the little sight she has left (can't see her grandchildren's faces); she's had operations on both arms to combat the rigor mortis that's already settling in there. She's ONLY 54 years old!

I finally decided that ONE operation to help reverse my morbid obesity was much less scary than 20 to combat the effects of my morbid obesity. I was also under a death sentence of lose weight or die...and the doctors weren't sure I'd live a year.

Here I am, more than a year after they predicted my death, happieir and healthier than ever!

If that's not a sign, I don't know what could be a sign.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

[LzL 9]

I had thoughts just like you. I could give myself a million reasons not to finally go through with WLS. Not sure if I could handle it. Not sure if it could handle me...

But it wasn't until I started having physical limitations that kept me from walking in a grocery store without crying from horrific back pain after only a 5 minute walk from the parking lot into the store. I got to the point where I was using a handi-capped plaquard in order to get close to the front door of the store, so I could ride around in one of those stupid go-cart to go grocery shopping.

On top of all of that, I had an extreme thyroid condition, hypertension and pre-diabetes, (none of which was getting any better either). I had lots of swelling in my legs daily that created permanent red marks circling my shins. I think it was either the beginnings of lymphedema or some kind of ulceration that was happening.

I went to a Chiropractor, an Orthopedic specialist and a Pain Management specialist with 3 years of medical care. The chronic pain I was experiencing was getting worse, not better. I finally had to do something.

I knew in my heart that if I lost weight, some of these issues would get better. So I finally made the commitment and I'm very happy to say that after all the hard work I went through these last three years, it pales in comparison of what has happened in only the last month since my post-op.

It took several months of planning, and along the way, I slowed down my eating habits before my pre-op and managed to lose 18 lbs before my pre-op. I lost 5 lbs during pre-op and an additional 20 lbs. post-op.

What more important is that some of the horrific and painful physical issues have gotten better. My diabetes issue is gone, my hypertension is just about gone and will be med free soon. My thyroid, well, that will always be an issue, but it is better under control and less dosage on the meds.

My back pain? WOW!... I haven't had to take a muscle relaxer or pain meds since the surgery. The swelling in my legs is gone. It's much easier to walk around. And even though I still park close to the store, I can now walk through the store with no problem. I still feel the stress, but it's not enough to stop me from walking.

If I had any doubts before the surgery, I must have been out of my mind, because the results have been more successful than 3 years of physical therapy without the surgery.

So... for me? This was a no brainer. Wheelchair bound, or freedom of walking. WLS was the best thing I could have ever done for myself and for my health.

Hope this is a help to you.

[janerose 109]

I was in the exact same place you are last year at this time - at the Outer Banks in North Caroline in a goregeous home on a beautiful beach being the heaviest one in the house of 15 close friends. They walked each morning, they jumped in the waves while I sat alone fuming at myself for allowing the weight to come back again and again. On the last day of this wonderful vaction I asked a friend to take my picture - I was appalled and so sad - I made a committment to all of them and to myself to go through with the sleeve.

So a year later I am seven months out from surgery (Jan 10th ) and 75 pounds lighter. Can't wait to walk with everyone - play in the Water and be free of the onus of my weight.

Make your decision yourself - but for me it was the best thing I have every done.

[shellbell125 41]

Thanks to everyone. Great advice. I do need to do this for me right? I need to stop thinking what others may say. People are going to judge and I can't change that. Those who are my true friends will hopefully understand, or at least try to.

But... that was easy to type... what will really happen? What will I really feel? I already suffer from major depression, is this going to make things worse? Will I be able to handle this? All questions I will ask the psych on Tuesday. I hope he doesn't disqualify me because of my "crazy".

[Raven21 121]

I'm hoping my depression gets better after I lose weight! I think a more positive self image will do wonders for anyone! But if you'd rather eat, no one can make the decision for you. Maybe the psych will help you sort it out.

[shellbell125 41]

Raven, I saw the psych yesterday and I didn't like him at all. He was so negative. I would just rather stilck with my psychiatrist. I still have to see him one more time on Friday. HOpefully just one more time. He said I was on too many meds and made it sound like my fault. Hopefully he won't hold up this process for me.

[Raven21 121]

I'm soooo sorry! Good luck and keep us updated!