female only Husband Is Confused...

[deltadawn817 106]

These issues need to be dealt with soon or you child with want nothing to do with his/her father.

[prettysleeved1 173]

How about this: if your egg or sperm contributed to the making of the child, you need to help.

You don't get credit for being male and having a job. That's what you're supposed to do. I won't even start comparing the physical labor of taking care of a child to a desk job.

Since we're doing Bible chat, the Bible says to submit to each other and tells husbands to love their wives as they love themselves. This means that if you wife needs you to wipe junior's behind, you better get on it. You know why? Because when she's doing you laundry and comes across your skid-marked underwear and accidentally inhales, she's experiencing the same "repulsiveness" that you THINK you'd experience while changing your child's diaper.

And I don't even subscribe.

Some of these men....I swear. They better hope that their wife never passes away or gets fed-up enough with their BS and leaves because they would be up a creek without a paddle...not even a stick.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

O.T.R. : I only find two places in this thread where the name of God was mentioned.

1) We have a four year old. Granted it was all talk when we opted to not be so "careful" anymore and thought it would happen when God wants it to happen.

2) We'd definately be having a "come to Jesus" meeting...

The first was referencing the conception of a child. The second is nothing more than a figure of speech' date=' not a literal reference. If I overlooked one, you get my point anyway... And regarding your claim of "modern secular feminism" insertion.... OH PULEEEEEZE !!!! Let me "pick and choose" a few more for ya....

Do you toss your wife out of the house 7 days a month due to her uncleanliness ? Have you eaten or touched any pork, worked on a Sunday, or trimmed your hair and beard ??? According to the bible, these things, among many others, are abominations that call for death as a punishment. Don't even get me started on the other parts that sanction things like selling your daughter into slavery, or getting the entire town together to stone someone because they were blasphemous or cursing. It goes on and on, ad nauseum....

Yes, you are correct that no marriage is 50/50, I stand corrected. A marriage is 100/100 and in the 21st Century, yes, if you want to live well above the poverty level BOTH parents work outside the home, unless one of you has an unusually high paying job,. No one was selectively referencing the Bible, and quite frankly, I find the concept of "man" being the hunter/provider and "woman" being the subservient little wife who is supposed do everything else including wait hand and foot on her "man" absolutely laughable, and I am a christian woman. "Providing" for your family is about SO much more than "providing" a paycheck. Children do benefit from having both parents in the home, but only if BOTH parents participate in a thoughtful, productive, and supportive manner. It's 2012, not 1912, and a woman "needs" a man, like a fish "needs" a bicycle !!!

I kept a trash can handy when changing diapers and I barfed into it way more than once, so I "just couldn't handle it" either, but I damn sure did it anyway; repulsive or not; and so did my barfing ex-husband. He "just couldn't handle" it either, plus alot of other things, and that's how he became an ex.

P.S. Perhaps making a chauvanistic, he-man macho comment in a forum named : powder Room - Ladies Gone Wild wasn't such a great idea... [/quote']

Well, yes, it was 2 times. Hence the use of the term couple(couple means 2)

And let's see, since this is apparently a "religious" debate, please tell me what scripture instructs a man to "toss his wife out" while menstuating.

Eating of pork, if this were to be an issue, which it's not, that was an old testament requirement that was removed by the new testament.

Working on Sunday, did you miss the fact that Jesus worked on the sabbath, there was also a parable of the trapped sheep. I believe Jesus' words were that "the sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath". Which means it is a day of rest that we may take, not that we are required to take.

Oh yeah, just so that you know, the sabbath is actually Saturday, not Sunday. I can't recall why we started observing on Sunday, but I can look it back up if you like.

As for the rest of your references, stoning, selling of daughters etc, you should really pay attention to context. The we're cultural things that happened & were not commanded of God.

Did you miss the part about the adulterous wife that was to be stoned to death? What was Jesus' response? I believe it was "let he who hath no sin cast the first stone".

And if you have a problem with the man and woman having different roles, well, then your problem isn't with me, you should take that up with the author of the book.

Of course all this actually only matters if you believe in God. If you do, then it only makes sense that he is 100% correct and if your beliefs differ from his, the, well he's not wrong.

If you don't. Then this is all academic.

Oh yeah, I'll give you the powder room thing, I don't really pay attention to that. It all falls under "current" on the iPad app.

How about this: if your egg or sperm contributed to the making of the child' date=' you need to help.

You don't get credit for being male and having a job. That's what you're supposed to do. I won't even start comparing the physical labor of taking care of a child to a desk job.

Since we're doing Bible chat, the Bible says to submit to each other and tells husbands to love their wives as they love themselves. This means that if you wife needs you to wipe junior's behind, you better get on it. You know why? Because when she's doing you laundry and comes across your skid-marked underwear and accidentally inhales, she's experiencing the same "repulsiveness" that you THINK you'd experience while changing your child's diaper.

And I don't even subscribe.

Some of these men....I swear. They better hope that their wife never passes away or gets fed-up enough with their BS and leaves because they would be up a creek without a paddle...not even a stick.[/quote']

The 1st statement here I agree with 100%

The scripture quoted actually says for man to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Not as you love yourself. This means to be willing to sacrifice your life/safety to protect her. It has no connection to wiping Jr's behind.

We don't get credit for having a job(providing for our family) because it's what we are supposed to do. Hmmm, that train goes both ways. You don't get to pawn your duties off on me, because it's what you are suppose to do.

And as far as comparing physical labor, let's talk real world. Because most men do not have the luxury of a desk job. I've done my wife's deities at home while she traveled for school, I did them better than she did, and was done with everything by noon most days.

And my skid marked underwear don't exist. Believe it or not, big boys know how to clean themselves. & if by chance something went horrifically wrong an a pair did get "damaged" they would never make it home. I know where I can buy new ones.

And believe me, my wife has gotten "fed up" a couple times and left, only to realize that her life was pretty sweet.

[Queen of Crop 1,103]

I suggest we end this topic right now. The thread has developed into a discussion (in an accusatory way) of personal beliefs and values that have nothing to do with supporting people with their weight loss challenges. If you agree with me, then let's make this the end of the thread, wish skym34 well with her challenges and take Rootman's good advice and not use this forum for dirty laundry.

[Mzluvee 41]

I will pray that your situation will get better, I suggest you talk to him heart to heart and let him know you need help!

[Gene1970 179]

He needs to step up and do his part... Speaking as a father who helps with everything including diaper, baths, meals, overnight shifts(when he was very young), and everything else that comes with being a responsible parent I wouldn't want it any other way. Interacting with your child and taking care of your child is something that should be shared by both parents. I think it really helps your child bond with you and vice versa if you are involved with everything. It also help you appreciate your spouse. Good luck, I hope he comes around.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

I suggest we end this topic right now. The thread has developed into a discussion (in an accusatory way) of personal beliefs and values that have nothing to do with supporting people with their weight loss challenges. If you agree with me' date=' then let's make this the end of the thread, wish skym34 well with her challenges and take Rootman's good advice and not use this forum for dirty laundry.[/quote']

You are 100% correct, sometimes I let my German blood take over and get out hand a little. I love a good debate. Doesn't even matter if I win or not. It's kind crazy sometimes.

[LouiseC 1,031]

For the health of the baby...absolutely. My sister was married to "this guy". It doesn't last and if it does then they pass on their horrible parenting skills to the next generation. My husband cooks' date=' cleans, changes diapers, wipes noses, etc. he is both a partner to me and a father to our son and he is teaching our son that there is no such thing as "women's work". Yes do counseling and see if things change....but anyone engrained enough to say that line, is HIGHLY likely to not be a keeper.[/quote']

Those are your values. They are not wrong, but they are different to others values. We get to be different as humans in society, we get to have different values. Your sister's ex is not the OPs husband. You can't just project your own bad experiences into others reality and expect them to match.

I am completely comfortable with having different values to you. I also know my own father may not have been chief cook and bottle washer in my parents marriage, but he was a damn fine parent in ways my mother would never have been. I don't judge parenting ability, or marriage-ability, on each doing exactly the same as the other.

Marriages, like any partnership, thrive when people work to their strengths. It may be that this guys strengths are elsewhere in their marriage. I sure know that if we are travelling and get a flat tyre I stand back and let my husband change it. Not that I can't change a tyre, but he is way better at it, way more confident at it and also I plain don't like getting my hands dirty. By your rationale, I am not a keeper for this reason. And I think that is nonsense. My husband and I work to our strengths and our adult children now see us as an effective team despite the division of labour not being to your exacting standards.

I am curious to know if your own successful marriage manages to have an exact 50/50 split in all household and parenting chores?

[LizInTexas 125]

O.T.R., let me enlighten you a bit with answers to your questions, and then, as Queen of Crop has suggested, this post is done as it really is unrelated to WLS or support thereof.

For the record, Old Testament or New doesn't really matter IMHO. People quote scripture no matter which Testament when it suits their argument...

You asked:

please tell me what scripture instructs a man to "toss his wife out" while menstuating: Lev. 15: 19-24

Eating or touching of pork: Lev. 11: 6-8

Working on Sunday: Exodus 35: 2

selling of daughters: Exodus 21: 7

I think this is enough to substantiate the point. I have read much, and cultural or not, these things, as well as many others, are used on a daily basis by some to repress and control other human beings, and it makes me see RED.

I definately don't fall into the "without sin" category.. I'm on a WLS website because I'm guilty of gluttony and sloth (repeatedly!).

I wish the OP, and everyone else nothing but the best !!

P.S. O.T.R, I have german blood too and also love a good debate, win or lose...

[LouiseC 1,031]

And since the topic has gone the odd way it has, I can state as a happy and fulfilled Atheist that I am happier in more traditional female roles in my marriage. I am happy to do the laundry and leave my husband to do the yard work. I do not think this made me or my husband a bad parent. Our now adult children are not broken as a result.

The difference is, that we talked about it. Communicated. It appears the OP has said nothing for 18 months which has clearly contributed to the problem.

[mylifeinpink 349]

...

[thinoneday 445]

I'm not even going to say what i really want to say. . .

[thinoneday 445]

NO, I AM GOING TO SAY WHAT I WANT TO SAY. . . . . YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT CONFUSED HONEY, YOUR HUSBAND IS A F___K'N A$$ HOLE

[Butterthebean 8,146]

Marriage is a partnership. The responsibilities have to be split or divided up in such a way as to be fair and equitable to both sides. This is where setting boundaries and laying down ground rules BEFOREHAND is very beneficial. Just expecting someone to step up doesn't always go so well, even though you think they should. But, it is never too late to sit down and lay some fresh ground rules. Better that than being miserable and resentful all the time.

[chitowngirl 885]

Wow...there are really some judgemental people here. The truth of the matter is that in most marriages women tend to carry the bulk of the responsibilities of domestic duties and child rearing. There are some wonderful men that will pitch in with out being told. However many men need to be told. Trust me I've had to lose it a few times (can we say psycho) before I got my point across. it's all about balance, little by little you and your husband will need to find a system that works. It doesn't happen overnight, but just keep working at it and hopefully he will compromise soon. Best of luck to you.