mcw12985 0 Posted September 9, 2006 funny stuff. > > > > Subject: Baked Beans > > >One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became > >apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up > >beans. > > >Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home > >from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and > >told him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I > >passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I > >could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any > >ill > >effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and > >before > >I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the > >way home, I made sure that I released all the gas. > > > >Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed > >delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." > > > >He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I > >took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the > >telephone rang. > >He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and > >went to answer the call. > > > >The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the > >pressure > >was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room > >I > >seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. > >It > >was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running > >over > >a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and > >fanned the air around me vigorously. > > > >Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink > >was worse than cooked cabbage. > > > >Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, > >I went on like this for another few minutes. > >The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone > >farewells > >signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more > >times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on > >it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. > > > >My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband > >returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked > >through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. > > > >At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests > >seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!" > > > >I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dianechef 3 Posted September 9, 2006 ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop laughing!! This is the most hilarious thing I have ever read in my entire life!!! :pound: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
paula 4 Posted September 9, 2006 love it! Its been a long time since Ive read it. Thanks for the laugh!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Teresita 0 Posted September 12, 2006 Laughing out loud.....I love it!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goannabanda 0 Posted September 12, 2006 The child within me loves a good fart joke!!! Fatastic, first time I've laughed all day! Thanks! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
