I'm THAT Special...

[donali 57]

I got home from my Mexican adventure a few hours ago, and unfortunately, the news is not good.

I am trying to put this in perspective, but I still cried all the way home. My band has eroded, and has to be removed.

I guess the good news is... it can be removed. And I have lost 97.5 pounds with it. It's just that... I don't mean to sound melodramatic, but honestly, I would almost rather be dead than gain that weight back. I think that's what all the tears are about. Not the additional surgery, or the $5,500 it's going to cost, but that terrifying fear that the weight is all going to come back on.

Again, writing this out, it seems like such a petty fear. It's not like my life is directly in danger, or anything like that. I just thought I had finally, finally found the answer to staying a more healthy weight without struggle. It was a beautiful dream...

Dr. Carmen did say that once everything is healed back up, I could be rebanded. But I have read on the support boards that once you have an erosion, the chances you'll have a second erosion is 50% (initially it's supposed to be 1-3% chance of erosion). I told Dr. Carmen that, and she said no, the chances remain the same, and in fact, may even be a little less, because the scar tissue left over from the first banding makes the stomach wall a little thicker, almost like a callous, which could help reduce the chance of a second erosion.

I will have to do more research to see if that might be true - it's the first I've heard of it. I wonder if they could use the same band, or if Inamed would take it back and give me a new one for free. Otherwise, I have no idea how I will find another $10,000 to cough up for rebanding surgery.

As I was bawling in the doc's office, she swore that they would do everything in their power to help me maintain my current loss. She even offered the possibility that Dr. Lopez could do a gastric bypass on me while he had me open to remove the band. At least I still had enough wits about me to say absolutely not, I definitely do NOT want a gastric bypass. I made her promise that no way, no how, would I wake up with a gastric bypass. She said not to worry - if I didn't want one, they wouldn't do it.

On the way back from the endoscope Dr. Carmen asked if I still had restriction, and I said yes, and she said that I could keep my band until I lost restriction. But once we got back to her office and she looked at the pics, she said the band had to come out. Then she called Dr. Lopez, and he said it needed to come out as soon as possible. So Friday, July 2, I go in to have my band removed.

Damn.

Dr. Carmen assured me that nothing I had done caused this, and nothing Dr. Lopez had done caused this – it just happens sometimes.

Hopefully I can keep from bawling over this too much. I am so very lucky, and so very grateful for all of my blessings. I love, love, love my band, and do not regret one moment. After talking with Inamed and hearing advice from my other various board memberships, if I am convinced that the erosion rate is not increased, and I can somehow find the funds, I will get rebanded after everything is healed up. I’m afraid it may be hard to convince me, though, that this won’t just happen to me again.

Now it is time for me to play the grateful game:

1. I am so grateful I was able to have the initial surgery, and have an unremarkable recovery.

2. I am so grateful to have lost 97.5 pounds virtually effortlessly.

3. I am so grateful I have made such wonderful bandster friends.

4. I am so grateful that my erosion was discovered before gastric juices started leaking into my abdominal cavity and really caused serious problems.

5. I am so grateful I have the money to pay for the band’s removal.

6. As much as I will miss my band, I won’t miss the annoyance of my port and tubing.

7. I am so grateful I made the time to have therapy for my compulsive overeating problem, and pray all that I have learned through that and over the past 17 months will help me keep off the weight I’ve lost.

8. I am so grateful to have my health.

9. I am of course grateful for my wonderful, supportive, and loving BF, family and friends.

10. I am so grateful to have a wonderful job, and a decent income where I can own my own home, and reliable transportation.

The grateful list could go on, and on, and on.

Here are the pics from the endoscopy.

A rough translation of some of the gastroentologist’s written comments:

The body of the stomach and part of the antro is deformed (pic 4) by foldings that go through this zone and which is an extension of the round portion of mucus formed by the band which is observed in the cardias (valve between the esophagus and stomach). The posterior part of this round part of mucus and penetration of the band in 40% of it (pics 2&3)

[Penni60 45]

Donali: My heart goes out to you. I have often thought what I would do if something like this happens. I have only been banded since April of this year. It is like someone has ripped your life saver out of your hands and you are in the deep end and drowning. Now you have to go back and tread Water again. Know that there are lots of support out there for you. I have only known you for a short time but I can feel your pain. I would be devastated to find out I had to have the band removed.

Yes, you can be grateful for all those things you mention and more but it is hard to keep a cheery face when facing the removal of the band.

I am wishing you well and sending you good thoughts.

[Sultana 0]

Hi Donali,

I am so sorry to hear of your problem. I can certainly understand how devastated you must feel. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep in touch; I have always valued your advice and insight.

Sultana

[GeezerSue 7]

I'm devastated with and for you. And I'll cry later. Right now, I'm wondering if your medical insurance would not cover some of the removal. Maybe through Quebbemann or Khalili. Just thinking outloud. Where in the policy does it say it won't cover the medically necessary removal of an implanted device? (I'm trying to save you money for the re-banding, I guess.)

Hang in there...I'll call later.

Sue

[athykay 9]

Donali,

I am so sorry, thank god they found out before you had more troubles. You do have a lot to be grateful for.

Reading your post have always been so informative. I have gotten so much information from you. You are truely a inspiration to all of us.

Just keep putting things into perpective. Your weight loss is not a dream it is a reality. You have accomplished what so many of us dream of.

When your all healed and can be rebanded we can take donations on your behalf. Maybe we can even auction off Delarla's famous bra. If she can find it. LOL Just want to make you smile.

I believe that all things happen for a reason. We don't always understand why at the time but it seems to turn out to be the right thing. This may be one of those times.

Just keep adding to your grateful list and things will seem so much brighter.

May tomorrow be a much brighter day for you,

Kathy

[New Hope 37]

Donali, we're here for you, just as you have been here numerous times for us. Let us carry the load for a while and give your shoulders some rest. We know a band erosion is not a good thing. We know that it has to be removed. Your body will heal and then you can be rebanded. You don't want to leave that band in where it can get entangled and cause even more complications. Even temporarily without your band, you have such a wonderful set routine in your eating habits. You are so conscientous of your meals, Vitamins, Portion Control. You will gain little, if no weight gain, during this down time. You've worked to hard to get where you are today. I look to see you continuing losing weight, maybe just on a little different plain. We're here for you! Take care and try to "destress".

[Bright 9]

Oh Donali, sweetheart, I am so so sorry you are going through this - you are a wonderful support to all of us here and like everyone else has said, I hope we can support you now through this.... I don't know what else to say, other than you are in my thoughts and anything, ANYTHING you need, let us know xxxxxx

[nightingale2u 42]

Oh Donali... my heart is breaking for you! I'm so sorry that this is happening and I pray that all of us can somehow keep your spirits up as your stomach heals. This is a complication that we could all potentially face and a fear that everyone that is banded must carry... I'm not even banded and I'm already attatched to the damn thing still sitting in it's package. You do have many things to be grateful for and you have a huge fan base here waiting to give you any support we can to help you through whatever the future holds.

The option I had decided upon, if I was declined for the Lap Band, was the VGB... Is that a surgeical procedure you would ever consider??? I didn't do very much research on that option but know Dr. Chua does the Vertical Gastic Banding often with good results????

(((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[La_madam 20]

Oh Donali, my heart goes out to you..I'm so sorry to hear all of this...you are my inspiration. You have been so helpful to all of us

There are many of us new bandsters who come to you for so many answers and will continue to do so .... may ask a couple of questions for our future reference....What can cause erosion? & What are the symptoms of erosion? Were you going down to TJ becasue you had a suspicion of something wrong?. We are all here for you to offer you so much support like you have given to all of us time and time again...you are in my thoughts !! and if you would like support down in TJ on July 2nd PLEASE JuST LET ME KNOW I WILL BE THERE IN A HEARTBEAT I'm just down the road from you

BIG HUGS

Michelle

[Alexandra 55]

Donali, oh my goodness! What a shock that must have been and is to all of us as well. I'm so sorry! Your perspective is wonderful, though; recognize the sadness and hassle but also recognize that you're very, very lucky in many respects as well.

This is very disconcerting since you are so knowledgeable and careful about your band! It seems impossible that there's no way to completely prevent this problem, but on this point we're at the limit of our knowledge I guess.

I know you're going to take this experience and learn even more than you already know, and share what you can with the bandster community. You are THAT special. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for being willing and ready to share what you're going through, and I hope we can be some source of support for you.

[shellyj 5]

OH DONALI

i am in shock after reading your post. my heart goes out to you, i cant even imagine i had no idea you were having any problems. i saw your post about going to tj but i thought maybe for a fill/unfill.

what kind of symptoms were you having? did you just ask for a random check on the band? i saw the erosion posts from you with pics but i thought you were just doing it for our information.

i have heard in france (i think) that after you reach goal they take out your band so you can let your new eating habits and lifestyle changes keep you there. i think you will be able to maintain your loss and healthy life- like you said you took the time to do the work!

i will be thinking about you and i hope you can find some peace in this.

((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

[donali 57]

I can't tell you all how much it means to have all this support. To quote beloved DeLarla, "I'm feeling the love."

To fill in a few of the gaps in this particular post (for those of you who didn't read/remember my "gall bladder" attack post, here's some of the background missing. I had just been doing research on erosion coincidentally. Or maybe all that research CAUSED my erosion... lol THAT's it...

I have not had any problems/symptoms. I had no reason to go to TJ for this follow-up, except that on Thursday, 6/3/04 I had what felt exactly like an intense gall bladder attack. I had severe pain in my back about band height, and pressure/heat radiating inside from the area around the top of my stomach. I felt like if I could just burp/fart/have a bowel movement, I would feel better. That's EXACTLY how my bad gall bladder attacks felt.

None of those things happened, and I had my sister race me home from work - I didn't feel as though I could even drive. After two hours or so from the onset, the attack went away, and I have been attack-free since. Just like my old gall bladder attacks.

Since I don't have a gall bladder anymore, and have never had these symptoms again since I had it out (June 1992), I was concerned. I really didn't think it had anything to do with the band (and it still may NOT - I did a bunch of googling on post-gall bladder removal attacks, and there was tons of info - I figured it was very likely that I had formed a stone in my bile duct - that could still be the reason for the attack), but decided that since I never had bothered to have my annual band check-up yet, I should go do that before I see my PCP on 6/30. I didn't want the band to be a suspect in hunting down the gall bladder attack cause. I was CERTAIN there was nothing wrong with my band - I have good restriction, no stomach pain, no reflux, no problems what-so-ever. My port has been bugging me this past week, but that's a constant come and go thing with me.

It's almost funny that this attack came on WHILE I was reading articles about erosion... :sick I almost feared the whole experience was psychosomatic, since it came on so suddenly with no obvious provocation. I thought, geez, not only can you psyche yourself into fainting off the toilet while reading vericose veins articles, you can psyche yourself into some sort of attack by reading band erosion articles! What a maroon!

So. That's why I went for the endoscopy. Normal, prescribed band maintenance. With a little push from a bizarre gall bladder-like attack. Which still may have nothing to do with the band.

My advice to you all (and I can only imagine how frightened you all must feel, 'cause I felt the same way when someone posted stuff like this): Do your regular band maintenance. That means once a year you should have an endscopy - that is NOT if you're having problems. It's my understanding that's a regular part of an annual band check-up. I do not hear of people doing it though, so maybe it's not? But that's what my doc said at the seminar I attended in late October, so it's been on my mind to have it done. I just hadn't gotten around to it.

So thanks be to the fates, or whatever, that I had the attack, which forced me to do what I had planned on doing anyway.

And I hope, and pray, and wish that I can be the 1-3% in your guys' lives, and that this doesn't happen to any of you. I think that would only be fair. And if my being the fall guy could ensure that, then I am happy to do it.

You're all very welcome.

[baileymb 0]

I am shocked and stunned!!!!!

You have been a real mentor the last 6 months! I have looked for your posts and reply's for your insights and knowledge!

I can not belive this is happening, I can only imagine how you feel!

I still have a few questions for you.

Please can you explain the process of an endoscopy? Are you awake during this?

Also do you know of someone, or anyone here has had the band more then say 4 years??

I don't remember reading here that anyone has had it longer the about 2 years.

Thanks and my thought and prayers go out to you!

Baileym

___________

June 14th

Dr. Deol

[marsha 0]

Oh Donali,

I just dont know what to say. I'm so sorry. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Please don't leave us! Let us support you through this as you have ALWAYS supported us!

Maybe we could take up a collection for your rebanding!

Marsha

[Neicy 0]

Donali, I, like so many others, have looked to you for your support and as an inspiration. So very sorry that you are going through this, but I'm sure you know that we are all with you in our hearts. It is so scary when suddenly and out of nowhere, these major problems pop up and wreck the strategy. I am just blown away when I read about the things that you and Delarla and others are experiencing. It's so close to home that I think we all can relate and sympathize. Thank you for sharing your ex-perience with us and I think you have a wonderful balanced outlook on everything that's happening, you are again and still an inspiration. Denise