Revised Goal Or Giving Up? W/ Pics

[LacieMC 136]

Hi All,

I was sleeved just over 6 months ago and I am struggling with the "Perfect" goal weight. Here is the deal...I have a history of failing every diet I have ever tried. (I know this is a lifestyle change not a diet..yada yada) I have a little success then I quit, that has been my life. I chose this surgery so I couldn't fail. Now I am feeling like a failure again. I have lost 80 pounds and feel amazing. I feel thin and beautiful and love wearing new clothes. I am about 20 pounds from my goal of 150 pounds but feel really good where I am at. My doctors still tell me I am overweight, my Nut wants me to increase my calories to lose more weight. I jog the soccer fields 4x a week and I think my weight is set at about 170-173 depending on the time of day.

My husband says I could maybe lose 10 more pounds but definately not 20. I don't know if he is being nice or telling the truth (I know we are having happier "married couple time").

Here is the point of my rambling. Given my history of giving up, am I in denial like I was before surgery about my weight? Should I try harder to lose more weight? I went from a 22 to an 8. I am 5'6 1/2. I just feel like I am never going to hit everyone's perfect number for me. How can I lose this much weight and still feel like a failure...like I am doing something wrong ALL THE TIME. I feel like I have been chasing this magic number for years and I am finally in a place I am happy with, but no one in the medical field thinks I am healthy yet (*cursing stupid BMI chart*).

My question to you all is have you struggled with the perfect goal number? Have any of you adjusted your number up? Should I trust the doctors/NUT and increase my fitness to 6X a week to lose more weight?

I am attaching my before pic (never been shared before) and a pic taken with my amazing hubby this weekend for a visual reference.

***Note to pre-sleevers*** My sister is a photgrapher and insisted she do a shoot the weekend before my surgery. I was crying I was so embarressed. Now I am really grateful to have these photos. Have a friend or family member do them...you will be glad you did later.

Disclaimer: I cant find the spell check, so please ignore any errors.

[LacieMC 136]

Ohhh and please don't feel like you will hurt my feelings. I really want some objective feedback here.

[Renea77 84]

You have done an amazing job already, you look amazing and most importantly healthy and happy!! I do think you should attempt to meet your personal goal just to show yourself that you can do it, and if you decide ten pounds from now that's enough and you don't want to lose 20 okay but at least you won't feel like you failed and didn't attempt to meet your goal. Congrats on being healthier and happier.

[kimberlee1235 52]

Ummmm for one, you look amazing! I'd kill to have your height/weight proportion. Yeah you're "overweight"...your BMI is like 2 points over being "normal"....I'd say if you're comfortable where you are, then don't stress yourself out about losing anymore weight. I mean, of course don't completely lose all self control...but don't be a nazi about it either.

[chandi_d 48]

You look awesome!! If you are comfortable, and feel good and happy and healthy that's all that matters. Don't beat yourself up over it, and u are not a failure. You havs had a awesome weight loss and look great. Doctors don't know everything

[jhansen71 257]

"I feel thin and beautiful and love wearing new clothes.". Isn't this part of the reason why we have surgery (plus good health of course)? To get to the point where you love yourself again tells me you need to revise your goal and be so proud of your success. I think you look amazing. A size 12 is now considered average so an 8 means you are smaller than most of the general population. I understand feeling disappointed because you didn't reach a certain number, but I say you revise it, keep doing what you are doing and when ounces or pounds drop off here and there, consider it bonus weight. Congrats on all of your success!

[SleeveandRNYchica 1,155]

I hate those bmi/weight charts! I find it interesting my surgeon did a bone density exam. I guess to help determine my "ideal" weight. I just can't believe we are all meant to fit between certain numbers. If you are comfortable, healthy, and I can't imagine trying to get to a certain weight because it is on a chart. I think this is where doc's miss the boat. Trying to lump us in group.

BTW: you look great!!!

[chitowngirl 885]

First of all good job, you look great. You look good, do you look overweight nope. You look fine, however if you are questioning your follow thru on your goal I'd say meet half way. Try and loose the 10 pounds that your hubby suggested. Also instead of jogging have you tried any weight or resistance training. I've heard that tends to help people. Good luck.

[NancyJerry 139]

Lacie,

Before I had my surgery I followed a woman's 2 year video log on YouTube and one of the last posts I watched was when she said, "Don't set a goal number!" She was speaking from experience. She said to make a list of what would "make" this surgery be a success (off meds, happy, etc.). She said this way no scale and no number gets to dictate if you are a success or failure.

Last month, my WLS support group coordinator brought in a plastic surgeon and he spent a great deal of time talking about the stupid BMI calculator. He said, after about a year post surgery re-evaluate yourself to determine if you FEEL like you've met your goal.

I'm "19" pounds from my "goal" weight, but I'm just waiting to see what my body is going to do. I'm personally choosing to follow the advice of these sources. It sounds to me like you need permission to trust yourself - so (tongue in cheek) I'll grant it for you! You look fantastic! You'll know when you are at goal!!

Good luck to you!

[scorpion509 107]

Hi, you look amazing to me. the number 22 to 8 sound unbelievable to me. But base on your weight and height I would go to 160lb. so 10 more lbs.

Again this is only my opinion because I has the same height as you are ( but more weight) and I think that 160 is the biggest number I want to loose. If I can do it to 148 It would be IDEAL.

[Shape_Shifter 83]

I swear your old body and mine could be body doubles. I can't wait to be where you are. I am getting sleeved this weekend.

I obviously haven't been through the eating, etc. post sleeve but even though you look stunning I'd probably go for the extra pounds. My reason for thinking that (like you) I quit at every diet/lifestyle change I've ever attempted. Once you stop trying to loose weight you will probably put back on a little. If you are a little lower to begin with it allows for a little increase. Maybe just enough to get you closer to the edge of not being overweight.

I definately wouldn't loose much more because you look healthy and happy. (so does he)

Also, my PCP advised to watch the scale weekly and allow for normal fluxes of 5 lbs. If you gain 5 lbs work to lose it before it becomes 10. (If he had only told me that wisdom 70 lbs ago)

I should add...you definately didn't fail so if you decide to stick where you're at you should be ecstatic and you deserve it.!

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

To be honest Lacie, I'm really kinda torn here. My first instinct is to say 170+- does sound a bit on the high side for a lady at 5'6". But after seeing your pic I really gotta say that you look good.

Either way, looking where you've come from, there is no way in he!! that you should consider yourself a failure. You've come so far, and even if you decided to simply maintain what you've already done, you are so much better off than you were. I know I'm not being much help here. I really do believe 150 @ 5'6" is very attainable, but if you are comfortable in your skin right now, that's what really matters.

[enigmachik 403]

You look amazing! If you feel comfortable please don't let anyone else get in your head and try to tell you that you aren't where you should be. You know your body better than any doctor or specialist. Also, you have lost EIGHTY pounds! That is a fantastic accomplishment and an amazing success. Do not let anything make you feel like a failure. I'm proud of you and you should be too!

[Banned member 320]

Ohhh and please don't feel like you will hurt my feelings. I really want some objective feedback here.

I was worried about being honest until I read this post. I skipped straight to what I thought was the after pic (3rd pic) and I was like huh lol. Then I looke at the 1st pic and realized that more than likely the 1st pic was the after pic and you look FABULOUS! I think you will ultimately have to decide whether or not you want to keep going but you look AMAZING.

[Lianne 34]

That's pretty crazy to think that a size 8 is too big, really???

I think you look fantastic, and you have so much to be proud of!