Out To Dinner Epiphany...

[UTGal99 327]

So, there I was out to dinner with my husband and son tonight at a local Chinese buffet. As I was eating my dinner, I realized "Wow, my life is really going to change soon." I bet I won't even be able to eat a whole egg roll and a cup of Soup post-op (even if it is 1 year out).

This kind of startles me and scares me to be honest with you. I worry that I will mourn food and long for more at each meal. I am a variety gal and love lots of different foods at a sitting. So now, I am second guessing maybe VSG isn't for me, but then I think the food is exactly what got me to the 300+ pounds I am.

I am just so very confused as to how I could possibly be okay with 4 bites of food for the rest of my life. 4 bites of food! 4 bites of food! That just doesn't seem like enough to survive on and get adequate nutrients.

Why do I keep flip-flopping on this decision? I'm committed, I'm not, I'm committed, I'm not, I'm committed, I'm not --- I feel like I have picked a daisy in the yard and am pulling the petals off one by one.

Anyone ever feel like this? And how did you get past these flip-flop feelings?

[UTGal99 327]

And, no I don't think I need to sit down with a counselor and work through my issues with food - I know what they are, just am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the 4 bites of food for the rest of my life!!!!

[Supersweetums 1,164]

I was nervous at first, especially since I am an emotional eater and wasn't sure how I would deal with them if I couldn't stuff them with food. I won't lie, there are days that I wish I could just eat a little bit more because it tastes sooo good, but I try to remind myself of something a fellow sleever told me...if I could, I would and that is what got me here in the first place. And trust me, it is not 4 bites of food for the rest of your life. I am 20 months post op and can eat probably 3 oz of meat, 1/4 to a 1/2 cup or so of veggies (depends on the kind) and 1 or 2 bites of something else (rice, potatoes). So yes, it is not a lot, but it is more than 4 bites.

[KS Fort Worth 86]

You must decide what is more important to you - instant gratification, or your health?

[Marty McSkinnystein 342]

I'm at 2 weeks after surgery and I just had something allowed at pureed stage. It's called Shelley's Ricotta Bake and basically is the insides of lasagna. I am just like you--- can't imagine not having EVERY part of a meal...from bread to Soup to meat, starch etc. However, there's like a switch after surgery- for example this thing I just ate- fabulous, (but I burned it ) I just knew I couldn't eat that much. I put like a "normal" serving on my plate (which was dumb) but I have this built in thing now that just says STOP and I honor it. It's not the same anymore. You really don't want to keep going. And I don't mean the word pizza doesn't conjure up happy thoughts but ...here's how someone said it to me- You know how after Thanksgiving meal you look around and appreciate how amazing it was but.there's no way you could eat another bite.. that's how this feels. I can't tell you how freeing that is. I know what you're saying, trust me--- we probably all do.

There comes a point when you know, I just can't live like this. I just can't continue to let food be what I live for. How will I replace it? Not sure but I can't do it anymore. Done. And I've had barely any pain, no complications and am gaining more strength every day. I wish you luck!!! Keep writing.

[UTGal99 327]

I was nervous at first, especially since I am an emotional eater and wasn't sure how I would deal with them if I couldn't stuff them with food. I won't lie, there are days that I wish I could just eat a little bit more because it tastes sooo good, but I try to remind myself of something a fellow sleever told me...if I could, I would and that is what got me here in the first place. And trust me, it is not 4 bites of food for the rest of your life. I am 20 months post op and can eat probably 3 oz of meat, 1/4 to a 1/2 cup or so of veggies (depends on the kind) and 1 or 2 bites of something else (rice, potatoes). So yes, it is not a lot, but it is more than 4 bites.

That is a great response! Thank you so much for that reassurance. It is exactly what I was looking to understand.

[UTGal99 327]

I'm at 2 weeks after surgery and I just had something allowed at pureed stage. It's called Shelley's Ricotta Bake and basically is the insides of lasagna. I am just like you--- can't imagine not having EVERY part of a meal...from bread to Soup to meat, starch etc. However, there's like a switch after surgery- for example this thing I just ate- fabulous, (but I burned it ) I just knew I couldn't eat that much. I put like a "normal" serving on my plate (which was dumb) but I have this built in thing now that just says STOP and I honor it. It's not the same anymore. You really don't want to keep going. And I don't mean the word pizza doesn't conjure up happy thoughts but ...here's how someone said it to me- You know how after Thanksgiving meal you look around and appreciate how amazing it was but.there's no way you could eat another bite.. that's how this feels. I can't tell you how freeing that is. I know what you're saying, trust me--- we probably all do.

There comes a point when you know, I just can't live like this. I just can't continue to let food be what I live for. How will I replace it? Not sure but I can't do it anymore. Done. And I've had barely any pain, no complications and am gaining more strength every day. I wish you luck!!! Keep writing.

You have no idea how much your post means to me! I am so glad that someone really understands where I am coming from. I am not looking for instant gratification over my health but I am a wonderful cook and enjoy food. I just know I don't need to enjoy it to the tune of 300+ more pounds.

I will keep posting and continuing on this journey. I think everyone of us has to come to grips with a sense of loss and a sense of renewal by finding that gratification in other things in life, besides food. For some of us the road is harder than others....

Thank you for your honesty and perspective!

[UTGal99 327]

I just had something allowed at pureed stage. It's called Shelley's Ricotta Bake and basically is the insides of lasagna.

Yeah, I'm going to need to get that recipe! Can you message me with it?

[Marty McSkinnystein 342]

OMG, I am so not a cook- you have it made! Almost every recipe and food has something that can be converted into something we can eat- and love. I think we love it more because we're actually appreciating it finally. I am so incredibly grateful to be able to help you and listen having been in your shoes and knowing how much support is needed. I have people ahead of me in the process who really helped me through. Anytime!

[hope2Bfitand40 37]

Just to reiterate, I am 5 months out and I eat a lot more than 4 bites. I eat at least 3-4 ounces of meat plus a side of vegetables and sometimes even carbs, which I know I should not eat.

It is actually very easy to live with the sleeve, the hard part for me is to learn what I need emotionally so that I don't stop losing. I CAN eat comfort food, but just because I can, doesn't mean I should.

I think it's the emotional connection to overeating and bad food choices that I (and maybe we?) have to work on, but thank God for the sleeve to allow me to see a better choice than my overeating. It has restored my hope. In myself.