The Fine Line Between Acceptance And Making Excuses

[Globetrotter 1,340]

So I have struggled with a plateau for about 4-5 months now and I know that it is (mostly) my own dang fault; I've always been an excruciatingly slow loser but in the last 6 months I have stopped being true to my super-low carb/high protein/low cal diet. On the one hand, I justify it because I am committed to eating healthfully and reasonably and that means not living the rest of my life on a diet. Sounds good right? But, I think I'm toeing the line of making excuses, I let myself eat M&M's, bread, soda!! Grrrrr.

Today I am having a Protein Shake, 2 eggs, greek yogurt with a spoonful of jam, lots of hot tea sweetened with stevia, and probably a caesar salad w chicken for dinner and maybe some hot quinoa and a tiny piece of chocolate. That sounds ,,, bad? good? cheating?

Does anyone else struggle with the psychology of this?

[traceyinflorida 499]

It sounds like you have the right plan to get things back on track. It's always good to get back to basics when it feels like things have veered too far off course. Hopefully with this great tool we have, getting back to basics will be easier done than without it. I think there is nothing wrong with a tiny piece of chocolate as long as you can stop there and not end up eating half the bag! Good luck!

[UTGal99 327]

I say it is unrealistic to think you will NEVER have a piece of chocolate or a little bread here or there for the rest of your life; however, with that said I agree with traceyinflorida when she says indulge just don't eat the whole bag!

Good Luck to you!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I agree that it is unrealistic, which is why I said that it sounds great when I talk about eating healthfully and reasonably, but my concern is that I may be talking a smooth line but that really it's an excuse to eat crap. For example I worry that the list of food I said I'm going to eat today is bad - full of carbs and sugar?

[UTGal99 327]

I don't think your menu for the day sounds unhealthy. Could you eliminate some of the sugars? Sure. But I say - do what you need to do today and get back focused tomorrow.

[notime 340]

sugar free jam would serve you better and, from what you say, you have a problem with chocolate (the m & ms). It appears you are likely to go beyond the small piece of chocolate. Planning is one thing, doing is another. Check out eggface's site for some chocolate flavored Desserts.< /p>

[LauraTarry 25]

Who is this Eggface and what is her site?

[UTGal99 327]

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/

She has amazing ideas on her site of how to eat post WLS - run, don't walk to check it out!

[I_did_it! 33]

Her website is http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/ It's a girl who had gastric bypass a few years ago and she has amazing high protein/low carb recipes for WLS patients, and really everyone alike!! Great site!

[Wheetsin 714]

The psychology is the hardest part.

When I had my band and got reasonably close to goal, instead of doubling-up my efforts because I was so darn close, I found myself completely slacking off. Almost like being close was god nough, because I'd been so dang far away for so long. I still thought/dreamed of getting to goal, but at the same time I had a sort of complacency because I was "normal fat" - so to speak.

Off days, off periods... this is when our reduced capacity is such a blessing. It's going to happen. But it will still happen in moderation.

What worked the best for me was what I called a "Back to Basics" routine. Doing a few days of high Protein liquids of needed. Brining my carbs back under 20, and Protein back over 80 (could do it with the band, it'sbe alot more work now).

I plateaud for 18 months with my band. I honestly don't know what finally broke it, but within a handful of weeks I went from 250 to around 230. I really can't say for sure that I changed anything but it was right before my in-laws arrived (from Europe, staying 6 weeks) so I know I'd been cleaning the house like mad, and probably not eating much. I may have inadvertently upped my exercise - just in additional housework and moving thigns around to clear some space for them - and lowered overall cals while upping protein (I can remember several meals of just cottage cheese). I had definitely relaxed on the food regimine, and had some things in my diet that were much higher cal/carb than I realized.

Everything about today's plansounds good but beware of the Ceasar dressing. It's one of the highest fat/cal dressings out there. That aside, your plansounds like a very typical "regular" meal and IMO where you're at, that's the perfect spot.

[Supersweetums 1,164]

Here is the link to eggface:

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.ca/

I think your meal plan for the day sounds pretty reasonable. If you are looking to cut a little from it, I agree with the above, maybe some sugar free jam. Also, what kind of dressing are you using on your salad. Regular Caesar dressing is very high in fat, calories and carbs. And I think a little bit of chocolate isn't going to kill you either (but a whole bad of m&m's that is a different story).

I am a firm believer in moderation. I agree with UTGal99, that it is unrealistic the expect that you will NEVER eat any kind of treat ever again. I have to laugh when I see people say that they will NEVER eat cake, chocolate, fast food, alcohol, or anything bad EVER again. The sleeve is a tool and you DO have to change your habits and adopt a healthy lifestyle. But to place the expectation on yourself that you will never eat anything bad ever again is just setting yourself up for failure and self-deprecating behavior. The cycle of eating, shame and guilt, and eating more is so burned into our brains, that so many people continue to do it even after the surgery.

From the beginning, I choose not to count anything. I watch what I eat, have changed what I eat, and I have worked with my sleeve to be successful. Do I eat chocolate sometimes? Yup! Do I eat ice cream sometimes? You better believe it! Do I feel bad about? Not a chance! I didn't get the sleeve so I could live the rest of my life on a strict diet. The key is I eat these things in moderation. And I know my weaknesses. The surgery did NOT give me any more will power. I have chosen not to keep trigger foods in my house. If they are there tempting me, I will eat them. This may be a stance that you may have to take. I may have lost more slowly that some, but I am still losing 20 months post op and am below my target weight.

You need to find a system that is going to work for you. Look back at what you were doing before that was working. The point is, it has to be something that you can live with for the rest of your life, not just for the here and now to lose the last few pounds. If it is not sustainable, you might lose, but you will most likely end up gaining back.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I am a long time follower of Eggface, I found her at the same time I found this forum, before I even had surgery. And btw, she had roux-en-y, not classic GB.

I understand that some people swear by sugar free this and that, but for me I do not feel the trade-off is worth it, trading sugar for a mess of creepy chemicals. My jam is a locally made whole fruit organic jam that is just berries, sugar, and pectin and it so full of fruit that it is really just a jar of jammy berries so I will use probably 5 berries in my cup of greek.

The psychology is so complex! I eat because ... I eat because? I eat because I feel ...

frustrated

anxious

bored

lonely

I believe that I (and many others) self-medicate, cloaking our brains in a soothing dreamy blanket of carbs. We chew, rather than shoot up. Did you know that french fries light up the same pleasure centers of the brain as cocaine? yep.

I'm sure a lot of it goes back to childhood (naturally) and never feeling good enough, smart enough, fast enough, whatever. When you are raised Catholic a lot of times the message that comes through is that perfection is not only attainable, but anyone who isn't perfect just isn't trying hard enough and isn't deserving of happiness. IMHO.

BTW, I exercise 5 days a week, 3x Crossfit, 2x yoga, 2x tango. I am 25-30 lbs from surgeon's goal, 50 from personal.

[Finding MeMe 204]

Like others said you have to find the right balance for you and your body. I for one don't count calories, use real sugar and real cream in my coffee and eat fast food every once in a while. However, I eat in small moderate amounts try to stay away from the cakes/cookies/ice choclates, etc. I do however exercise mostly 5-6 days per week at a moderate/high intensity so I am burning lots of calories when I work out. (spin, zumba, bodypump, step aerobics,urban hiking, a little threadmiill work and wt. lifting) so there is no need for Me (only for me) to count calories because my body is burning what I put into it.

[Supersweetums 1,164]

I am a long time follower of Eggface, I found her at the same time I found this forum, before I even had surgery. And btw, she had roux-en-y, not classic GB.

I understand that some people swear by sugar free this and that, but for me I do not feel the trade-off is worth it, trading sugar for a mess of creepy chemicals. My jam is a locally made whole fruit organic jam that is just berries, sugar, and pectin and it so full of fruit that it is really just a jar of jammy berries so I will use probably 5 berries in my cup of greek.

The psychology is so complex! I eat because ... I eat because? I eat because I feel ...

frustrated

anxious

bored

lonely

I believe that I (and many others) self-medicate, cloaking our brains in a soothing dreamy blanket of carbs. We chew, rather than shoot up. Did you know that french fries light up the same pleasure centers of the brain as cocaine? yep.

I'm sure a lot of it goes back to childhood (naturally) and never feeling good enough, smart enough, fast enough, whatever. When you are raised Catholic a lot of times the message that comes through is that perfection is not only attainable, but anyone who isn't perfect just isn't trying hard enough and isn't deserving of happiness. IMHO.

BTW, I exercise 5 days a week, 3x Crossfit, 2x yoga, 2x tango. I am 25-30 lbs from surgeon's goal, 50 from personal.

Your jam does sound yummy. I do use a bit of sugar free stuff, but I also use regular fat stuff instead of fat free. I use 2% greek yogurt, 2% milk, I make Protein ice cream with whole milk. Like I said, I thought your meal plan looked pretty reasonable. You had just asked if it looked bad? good? cheating?

I agree, there is so much psychology behind it, it is really baffling. I know I am a stress eater and a comfort eater. And a hormonal eater, hence keeping stuff out of my house or else I would eat it all. The sleeve has not changed any of that for me, it is not a magic cure like some people hope it will be (I thought I wouldn't be hungry? Crave Sweets? Overeat? Etc..) The biggest change I have made within myself is not to beat myself up for having a treat. I really do think that is when we get into trouble. If you have a bad day, oh well. The wonderful thing about the sleeve is it is easy to do better the next day and falling off the wagon doesn't mean gaining 30 or 40 lbs like I would have in the past.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I would like to conquer the notion/language involved believing that the food is a "treat" in the first place. Why do we call it that? Why do we feel that a piece of food is a reward or gift in some way? After a hard day, why not "treat" ourselves with a cost-equivalent non-edible reward? oh, psychology!