How dare she!!!

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

I don't think that given a different point of view is either bashing or attacking. I don't think that getting a young person fired is the best option available, but some do. Are the people who do feel that the firing of the sales-girl rights any more valid than mine?

I once had an elder relative tell me, “if you can't say something good, don't say anything”. That is nonsense. That is not support. That is catering. Maybe that is why the sales-girl and many young people today are so screwed up. Nobody ever told them anything was wrong.

People learn by listening to all sides of a story. Maybe the girl in this case was insensitive. Maybe she has two children and no husband. Maybe her kids will go hungry because she is young and insensitive, when she is fired. I tell an insensitive sales-person when they are rude. I don't tried to get people fired because as bad as my pain was, getting even may cause so much more pain.

My grand-daughter is the type girl who was discussed in the opening post. She has the body of a twenty something year-old, the educational brains of a college student, is 18 years old, but has the emotional stability of a 14 year-old air-head. She would make a remark like that without having an inkling that she might be offending someone. I admit my grand-daughter is screwed up and I hope she will outgrow it. I used to try to talk to her, but I have only known her for a few years (she is the daughter of my son's wife from a previous marriage and though I know her since the very late 90's, she has spent more time with her father in a different city than where I live), so I can not tell if my advice and guidance will sink in. Her mother and grand-mother are not that way, so I assume that she will grow out of it. Of course, none of our children or grand-children are rude or insensitive, just mine and the people in the opening posts.

But more important than that is the idea that not saying what the thread starter wants to hear is not fulfilling our obligations as LBT'ers. If someone is over-eating, I will only say, "Don't worry, things will get better" or "keep trying" in the future, lest I me told that I am unsupportive or hear “if you can't say something good, don't say anything”. I will not give them real advice, like find a support group or seek professional advice.

I promise to be a good LBT'er from now on and just shut-up.

[Carlene 12]

Of course, none of our children or grand-children are rude or insensitive, just mine and the people in the opening posts.

Mine, too. My granddaughter is 14 and lives with me! :help: She lives with me because her mother (my daughter) is 34 and hasn't got sense enough to come in out of the rain. A couple of days ago, I had finally had it with the granddaughter's mouth. I had an Epiphany. I do not have to put up with this. I raised my children. I owe this kid NOTHING. So I told her..."I love you and that will never change, but if you want to live with me, your attitude and your smart mouth had better do a 180 - today. Otherwise, I am sending you back to your mom. Back to when you didn't know if there would be electricity when you came home from school or not. Back to when you took cold showers for weeks on end because your parents didn't bother to pay the gas bill. Back to no phone (never mind your cell phone), no milk in the house for Cereal in the morning, no one to give you a ride to school when it rains. Is that what you want?" It's been much better since then.

I promise to be a good LBT'er from now on and just shut-up.

Yeah....like we all believe THAT....LOL

[housecatgirl 0]

Ignorance, rudeness have no place in customer service. I truly think the less than 25 year olds may have missed out on what real customer service is. They probably have never seen it, nor do they know how to offer it. The best customer service I HAVE GOTTEN has always come from people older than 40!

This is sooo true.:phanvan I was just telling my husband the other day that customer service really sucks these days. I don't think it's so much what she said but maybe HOW she said it that was offensive. It seems to me that it just wasn't nessesary for her to come right out like that.:huytsao Had she said, "May I help you"? It may have opened the door for a reply of, "I am shopping for my daughter" and then it wouldn't have been so disrespectful.

[sweetviolet 0]

my number 1 goal on this weight loss journey is to be able to buy my clothes at the local amvets store/goodwill/salvation army/etc....lots have hang tags--new!! and these days the fabric quality is better than whats made now....i have always worn classic styles, so ,so far all is well!! my ultimate goal is to have a clothing exchange in the Chicago area--i am all for recycling and helping the cause!! anyone interested can write to me . supersweetviolet@hotmail.com

[sweetviolet 0]

there was a lady on a world cruise who asked a waiter for an alcholic beverage at 10am on the pool deck. his response was that drinks were not to be served until 5pm. the lady refered to her watch and said " it must be 5pm somewhere!"....its kinda the same with a fat body--there is a size 6 inside here somewhere just fighting to get out!! thought you all would appreciate a little laughter/sarcasm for this serious situation!!

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

We can all debate when customer service went wrong, but it was way before they shipped the customer service phone jobs over to India and Pakistan.

When I had my first job at 17, my boss taught me how to give out change.

If someone bought 47 cents worth of goods (a common purchase back in 1962) and gave me a $20.00 bill, I was to give back 3 pennies, a dime, two quarters, then 4 singles, a five and finally a $10 bill, whilst saying: "this makes 40, 50, one dollar, 5 plus 5 is 10 and 10 makes 20."

Today they take all the bills out, fold them long-ways with a little dip in the middle and balance the change on top and then hand it to you. I was once at a drive-through window on a windy, rainy day and the baby-faced cashier did that and all the coins went flying. I told him to give me more coins to complete my change. He pointed to the ground and said "it's down there". I told him to either come out and pick it up or give me more change. (Note: I would have had to move my car to get my door open and to find part of the money underneath my car I would have had to crawl on the ground. I probably would have been run over my the people in line behind my car.) He said, “I gave you the change, it's your fault.” I refused to move while the cars behind me starting blowing their horns (this was Brooklyn, NY). The manager came to the window and asked what the problem was.

I explained, “if the cashier had put the change in my palm and then gave me the bills, the bills would not have slipped off of the paper money, but coins do slide on bills.”

The manager said he never heard something so absurd. He also had never been taught how to give change. I didn't expect (this is the twenty-first century you know) to have the money counted out verbally, but the simple act of change first is beyond these people. They finally relented and gave me the change. It was not much, but it was the principle, not the principal that mattered. Trying to explain to rude people in the service industry is a good idea, but their managers and parents many times are no more knowledgeable than them. When the manager says, “I'll take care of it”, many times it is only to soothe the customer, but nothing is really done.

By the way, in that one out of 20 times, when a cashier gives me my change correctly, I always thank them and compliment them. Most say “That's the only way” or “Of course”.

I had a person on line behind me say “it doesn't matter how they give out the change”. When I gave out change the line moved faster, because people did not have to recount the change.

In order to avoid confrontations, I try to have exact change whenever possible or I just say, “let me have the coins first”. Many times they look at me like a deer in the headlights and still give it to me, receipt on the bottom, then bills, with the coins on top. I also use credit cards for all my purchased over a few dollars. I get back about $500 a year in cash rebates that way.

I complain to the service people, but I also try to explain first. When I have to go to a manager, I try to make sure that any reprimand will not involve firing. I don't want to be the one that drives someone over the top or off the deep end. I try to have compassion. I do not live in a glass house. If I did, my neighbors would have me arrested.

[nursekathy2u 0]

We can all debate when customer service went wrong, but it was way before they shipped the customer service phone jobs over to India and Pakistan.

What?? When did this happen?? I hadn't noticed!!

In order to avoid confrontations, I try to have exact change whenever possible or I just say, “let me have the coins first”. Many times they look at me like a deer in the headlights and still give it to me, receipt on the bottom, then bills, with the coins on top

Oh TOM... what a perfectionist you are!! It must be stressful in your world in today's society!!! One bit of advice.. When at a restaurant, NEVER, EVER complain until AFTER you have received your food!!!!!!!!

You always make me smile!!

Kathy

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

And I don't tell off the dentist before he drills my teeth.

[chameleon 0]

<start devil's advocate mode>

A friend of mine works retail. She is not a large woman, and she works in a store that does not carry large sizes. When she sees a large person come in, she makes an effort to tell the person, in varying degrees of directness, that they will not find their size. She doesn't do it to be mean, she does it because she didn't previously, and would watch large women searching rack after rack trying to find their size, only to be told later, "Well you should have told me so I didn't waste my time." This supposedly happened many, many more times than not, and in effort to proactively prevent it from happening again, she takes action.

Our sensitivities have a lot more to do with how we feel about something than does the speaker's intent.

<end devil's advocate mode>

Also - just a bit curious, how is "you know we only cater up to a size 14" worse than, "20yr old anorexic waif-like shop assistants"? It doesn't take a lot to assume someone can't fit into a size 10, but it takes quite a bit of assuming that someone is anorexic. Just my two cents, but if we don't want judgements and stereotypes made upon us because of our weight, the least we can do is not judge and stereotype others based on theirs.

Just wondering....when was that devils advocate mode s'posed to have ended again??? Ummm are you an anorexic waif in fat ladies clothing??? This woman who is your friend is ...lemme see how do I put this euphemistically....full of shittola. No one....NO One....NO ONE NO ONE who is overweight wants or appreciates any retail sales ass-ociate offering theadvice that they wont find their size in a store....NO ONE! Ok, now that we are all straightened out on that point. How retarded does someone have to be to realize that victorias secret doesn't sport a size 12 panty or a 44DD bra size? Ummmmmmmmm...I'd say complete coma might excuse it or possibly brain death, other than that No one who can sign her name with something more than an X would need some little twit or a BIG FAT HOG or anything in between to tell her that her size is not available in a store. I mean.....can you honestly believe yourself?????

GOD Almighty....I hate Stupidity.:angry

[chameleon 0]

That's a great observation Wheetsin.

JoJo, DonnaB & GeezerSue,

Not that you asked but here's what I think:

1. I DO think it's wrong for the assistant to have assumed JoJo was shopping for herself. Hurtful, but easy mistake.
   
2. I DO NOT think it's wrong for her to tell you "we don't have your size" she was being honest regarding her assumptions:rolleyes:
   
3. I DO think it's wrong to reference her the way JoJo, GeezerSue did. "Anorexic Waif", "Stupid, snippy salesclerks".
   
4. I DO think it's wrong to degrade someone's job. At least she has a job. She may not be the best sales clerk but hey, carve her out of the equation of the unemployed, welfare community.

I DO think she sucks

but

I Don't give a crap about her feelings

so

I Do not care if they are hurt or if she is uncomfortable with me giving her a little attitude adjustment.

[Wheetsin 714]

Actually the store I referenced is individually owned, and not a chain, and in a part of town frequented by out of towners. So it happens all the time that people come in and have no idea what sizes they carry. It's nothing like Victoria's Secret, where the general population has a pretty good idea what is available and what is not.

Ditto your sentiment on stupidity.

[Alexandra 55]

Yowza, Chameleon, tell us how you really feel!

I have to say that I am one of those very odd people who appreciate having my time saved in stores that don't sell things in my size. If a salesperson is rude, in any way, I'm very likely to never shop there again and might even complain. But I don't feel victimized; that person is likely rude to everyone in different ways. If the scenario in the OP happened to me, I'd probably just have given the person a glare and said "thanks, I know" and kept shopping.

As with all things, sweeping generalizations get us nowhere.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

When I lived in Brooklyn, my next door neighbor was a big muckety-muck for one of the biggest brokerage houses in NYC and worked in the WTC, so he took the train to work everyday.

He wore $3000 suits and shoes that cost a week's wages (mine anyway) and was in his 50's. The subway exit was two blocks from our homes and right in front of a vegetable store. He sometimes would leave the subway and pick up a few items for his wife (a stock consultant at the same brokerage firm). Though he was dressed in sartorial splendor, he was still followed around the store and spied on from between shelves (to make sure he didn't put a Tomato or pickle in his pocket?) because he is Black.

Yes, being over-weight is a bitch, but hopefully our Lap-Bands will overcome that hurdle in our lives. My friend will have to wait for his fellow Americans to get over their hurdles so that he can enjoy his life.

Oh, and he didn't have the option to complain, because it was the owner or his wife or son who followed him around and it happened in every mom-pop vegetable store in the area. No! He couldn't prove it. The store owners had every black male followed around whether it was someone dressed like my neighbor or a kid in a hooded sweatshirt. They all look the same.

[Teresita 0]

Piggy backing off T O M gripe about customer service and money exchange, I hope I'm not to heavy. I love good customer service, I truly appreciate it and I will go as far as to ask for a manager, call back to the store or call the coporate office to give kudos when fit. I also will make those same request and calls for bad service.

People have fogotten commen curtousey much less good customer service. I can go to stores in MD and then to VA and it is like night in day in so many cases. I ask myself why do I drive further out to a store until I decied to revist a store closer to home. I quickly remember why I make the extra drive.

Insert gripe here: I can't stand when the cashier puts the money on the counter.....what......I will stare at them and continue to hold my hand out until it gets in the palm of my hand. Please forgive me but I have run across this only with asians on about 4 occasions. If I am with someone and the cashier does that, I tell them not to pick it up. If you had put the money down on the counter I could understand but you didn't, you put it in their hand. Phone call, email, letter, something.....

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Piggy backing off T O M gripe about customer service and money exchange, I hope I'm not to heavy. I love good customer service, I truly appreciate it and I will go as far as to ask for a manager, call back to the store or call the coporate office to give kudos when fit. I also will make those same request and calls for bad service.

I very often complain, but I also call to complement. I have asked phone reps to speak to their supervisor. Sometimes the supervisor will suggest an e-mail to the company to tell them about the extra help provided.

I have asked the waiter for the manager in a restaurant and when he comes over and asks “What's the problem?” I say “I wanted to complement you on the wonderful service” or what ever I wanted to complement him about. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

People have fogotten commen curtousey much less good customer service. I can go to stores in MD and then to VA and it is like night in day in so many cases. I ask myself why do I drive further out to a store until I decied to revist a store closer to home. I quickly remember why I make the extra drive.

I do the same thing. I go out of my way for stores with better service. When I don't have enough time to go to the store with better service and the manager says, “Long time no see, where have you been?” I tell him why he hasn't seen me.

Insert gripe here: I can't stand when the cashier puts the money on the counter.....what......I will stare at them and continue to hold my hand out until it gets in the palm of my hand. Please forgive me but I have run across this only with asians on about 4 occasions. If I am with someone and the cashier does that, I tell them not to pick it up. If you had put the money down on the counter I could understand but you didn't, you put it in their hand. Phone call, email, letter, something.....

While living in Brooklyn, I knew some Asians on a personal basis and I was told that it is considered disrespectful to touch another person without their permission. I know it annoys me too.

But, I am married to a British women and I was hurt when I met her family because they seemed to dislike me, but then I found out that they were just products of their culture. When my wife met my family, she was shocked by all the hugs she received. She asked me if they were being phony or really did like her that much. “No! They are just being Italian(/American)s”.