How dare she!!!

[jojo41 0]

Exactly TOM....what is wrong with "can I help you?"

As for "cutting the salesgirl some slack".......Unless you were me in the shop you have no idea how rude she was.

When I was in my early 20's I was a size 10 and worked as a hairdresser. I NEVER told a client that her face was "Too Fat" for that style....that is tactless and BAD business.

Wheetsin.....the difference is I did not tell the shop assistant she was "an anorexic waif".....I have more tact than that.

[NeenBand 7]

I would write the corporate address that you can find via the web. They will forward it to the district manager for the area.

Tel them you were shopping for your daughter and they assumed you, a "fat woman" was looking at clothing for yourself (heaven forbid!)you were basically told you were not wanted in there because of your size.

Explain when you asked to speak to the manager, you got the eye roll from the sales associate and no apology from the manager.

That will light a fire under their ass.

Here you go. Go get them..

http://www.supre.au.com/(jtponq55ez5vznuv1n4cwi3r)/Contact.aspx?pid=7

[jojo41 0]

thanks leenerbups I will do that

[DonnaB 3]

Ok calm down kiddo. Everyone deserves a benefit of a doubt unless they do something like call you names, stick out their foot to trip you up. Allz I am saying here is.. what if? Some people look at things flatly, whereas, it's either black or white, all or none. Try to look at it differently.

I was calm when I wrote my reply and I'm calm right now.

I still feel the same way.

Everyone here KNOWS that weight discrimination does exist. Why would you advocate tolerating it? Why is standing up for yourself considered to be the low road? Why is being outraged an inappropriate response? Obviously the response needs to be handled with tact and decorum - you don't want to stoop to the same level - however, by not responding, this type of behavior goes unchecked.

Jojo, I agree with Leenerbups - write to their home office. I expect they'll be grateful to you for pointing out the need for training in that particular store, and possibly their entire company.

[andreerichards 1]

My favorite store is cotton Ginny, love that store i really don't know what i would do without it, so when i went to Australia to meet my husband who is from Australia i did spend a month in Geelong and there was not to many plus store dont remember seing one. that was a big reason why i made him move to Canada ( pour guy). Maybe one day after i have the surgery i will think about moving there

[Chickie 15]

When I was at my largest, I tried to buy a bra (I was a 28HH) and the 19 year old 55kg / 120lb girl who was fitting the bra told me "You just have such large breast! Have you thought about going on a diet? Maybe your bra size would go down"

No, I did not slap her, lol. I felt like it. But I restrained myself.

And just this week, I went shopping for some new clothes (I actually had to buy a whole new wardrobe, oh the horror, and pain! lmao) And the sales girl was falling all over herself to help me. My DH on the other hand (6 foot 8 inches, and 110kg / 220 lbs) got told that they had nothing that would fit him! He laughed and said he wasn't interested anyway, he was just tagging along to pay for whatever I brought. The sales girl was very nice to him after that!

I am sorry that the sales girl was less than pleasant. I would write to head office, and see what they say.

[gonnabethin 10]

This thread may be to heated for me, but here I go jumping in anyway!!

My response in the past to "We don't carry your size" is:

Thats too bad since I have more money than my daughter, who's size you do carry!

Ignorance, rudeness have no place in customer service. I truly think the less than 25 year olds may have missed out on what real customer service is. They probably have never seen it, nor do they know how to offer it. The best customer service I HAVE GOTTEN has always come from people older than 40! NO its not age discrimination its lack of worldliness for the younger people. They need the educated by the elders and I start the process. I usually call them on it or point out how insensitive it is. Next time they may think before speaking. I DEFINITELY would have called her on the eye rolling!! I don't leave an establishment mad I stop, breathe, then deal with who ever or whatever was said.

May I help you is ALWAYS better than assumptions on their part- INEXCUSABLE!!! I would write the company and educate them on their policy and help them change their verbage to May I help you, Please?!

[jojo41 0]

andreerichards...there are a few plus size chain stores in Australia (I guess you have to know which ones they are and where to look) but they are alot more expensive than your "normal size" women's boutiques.

I agree DonnaB....I am a little tired of having to take the "high ground" and pretend I'm not bothered by being treated as a second class citizen because I am fat.....let's face it fat people are actually the majority in many countries now yet fat discrimination is one of the few acceptable forms of discrimination left.

[jojo41 0]

Don't worry gonnabethin....I did call her on the eyerolling and attitude and also told the manager.....however I got the feeling that it did me little or no good.....I will definitely write to the store's head office (I was given the webpage by a fellow lapbander).

[GeezerSue 7]

That's a great observation Wheetsin.

JoJo, DonnaB & GeezerSue,

Not that you asked but here's what I think:

1. I DO think it's wrong for the assistant to have assumed JoJo was shopping for herself. Hurtful, but easy mistake.
   
2. I DO NOT think it's wrong for her to tell you "we don't have your size" she was being honest regarding her assumptions:rolleyes:
   
3. I DO think it's wrong to reference her the way JoJo, GeezerSue did. "Anorexic Waif", "Stupid, snippy salesclerks".
   
4. I DO think it's wrong to degrade someone's job. At least she has a job. She may not be the best sales clerk but hey, carve her out of the equation of the unemployed, welfare community.

You're probably right, Telly. (Not that it will change my response, ofcourse.)

But I just remembered an incident in a Las Vegas luggage shop. I wanted a lock replaced on an old piece of luggage. The salesclerk mentioned that the suitcase was old. I agreed with her. She emphasized that it was old. I again agreed with her. She loudly pointed out to a co-worker and that person's customer that the luggage was old, rolling her eyes in amusement?...disgust? Who knows. Then she said, "Don't you want to just get a new suitcase? I got THIS ONE and it's so much nicer than this old thing. I just don't know where we're going to find a lock for this OLD suitcase. Why I haven't seen one of these in years."

I finally couldn't stand it any longer. "Maybe someday when I get a job in a luggage store, I'll get around to buying a new suitcase, too...but right now, I'm too busy traveling to settle down and get a job. Just my bad luck, I guess."

You know...she didn't even GET it.

Stupid, snippy salesclerk.

[NeenBand 7]

First of all, I agree with those who say speak up.

"Taking the high ground??" Speaking out and taking a against cruelty in all it's forms is not lowering ourselves. As Maya Angelou said, it's your responsibility to speak up for yourself. (and others)

WE MUST LET SOCIETY KNOW THIS BEHAVIOR WILL NO LONGER BE TOLERATED.

And you do that by speaking out. ACTION in some form.

Be it discrimination, animal abuse, rudeness, whatever it is that is a form of cruelty upon another being.

Thank god for the "peaceful warriors" in our society, those are the people who change things.

[green 6]

Like it or not, modern society is very lookist and ageist, too! I took my mother shopping for a pair of pants a couple of years ago. She was 86 at the time. The saleswoman, a middle-aged individual, completely ignored her and addressed every remark to me. I kept telling her "I don't know. You'll have to ask my mother." But this sales clerk was a dim one. She persisted in discussing my mother's clothing purchases with me and she tried to sell her via me clothes that she didn't want or need when it was a just-the-trousers-ma'am kinda situation. The final insult was when the VISA bill came in. She had charged my mother twice.

Now, I wanted to see if I could get her fired for just being a generally lousy saleslady but my mum is much nicer than I am. (I take after my father's side of the family, I guess.):paranoid

[gonnabethin 10]

..I will definitely write to the store's head office (I was given the webpage by a fellow lapbander).

Did you get a reply yet?

[libra 13]

Since we're on the topic of weight descrimination here, I have a little story for you all. I used to be an elementary school teacher. My first teaching job was third grade in the town next to ours. I was overweight, maybe 225 at the time and 29 years old. I was hired with 4 other women at the same time. The other women were fresh out of college, young and thin. The vice principal would come in our rooms and check on our lessons occasionally as we were new teachers. He would give us feedback on how we were doing and what needed improvement.

Every time this man came into my class, the feedback he would give me would be the same, "You need to move around more, circulate more. You look lazy" It got to the point where I was never allowed to sit at my desk, not even to take the attendance!!! I was extremely frusterated with what he was telling me, because it just didn't make sense. My students were learning, I was getting praise from parents about how motivated the kids were. It just made no sense.

I didn't get it until I saw him observing one of the other new teachers. She was sitting on her desk the entire time she taught a math lesson. Didn't get up once!! I met her in the teacher's lounge on our break and asked what feedback the vice principal gave her, (assuming she caught hell for sitting on the desk) and she said that he told her she did a wonderful job!!!!

Because she was thin, she was allowed to sit on a desk while teaching a lesson and since I was overweight I had to be constantly moving in order to not appear "LAZY". It was a double standard I couldn't bear and I left that school at the end of that year. BTW, I got tons of letters and phone calls from parents devastated that I wouldn't be there to teach their younger children.

The descrimination exists and it's cruel.

[jahair 0]

Taking out anger on people who are young and in a low paying job because one sales person or two or many show lack of tact is not being any better than the individuals who hurt our feelings.

When we attack all sales-people in low paying jobs and their intelligence, we forget:

#1. They are young

#2. We were once that young

#3. They may be working while going to college

#4. They may be skinny now, but many of us were also skinny at that age

I have seen young people discriminate against people because of size, age, race, style of dress. That's not good, but hopefully, life will teach them that they are wrong. But, I have seen older people discriminate against people because of size, age, race, style of dress. What's their excuse?

When you give someone the power to ruin your day because of their ignorance, you are the one that suffers. Many of us will run home or to the nearest fast-food shop and eat 1000 calories while thinking, "How dare she? I'll show her!!" Who won that battle?

I have had the same type thing happen to me. It happened to me on my job. The new hires would come in and see this old gray haired fat man (sort of a Santa Claus clone) and mock me. Then when a plane came in with a problem that threatened to cancel the flight or at least delay it for hours, I would calmly come over and fix it, leaving them with "egg on their faces". I know it is more difficult in a shopping setting, because their is not much you can say to today's young people to impress them, unless you have children their age and know all the latest gossip, stars and songs.

Just remember one thing. They are young. Be realistic and remember how you were when you were young. Feel sorry for them for being ignorant.

TOM

PS: The use of the word "You" was meant rhetorically and not address to any member in particular

You may be a Santa Claus looking clone, but you have lived some life, dude! :girl_hug:

Congrats on the reminder to take the higher road! We do indeed lose when someone else's ignorance causes us to take it out on ourselves . And our spirit loses as well.

Jo Ann