female only Emotionally Abusive Mother :(

[mendymayhem 52]

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. My mother was very abusive. Mostly emotional, I feel thats the worst. The scars of her cigarette burns healed years ago, but I still hear the words of cruelty.

As a child I didn't realize this, but my mom was sick, mentally sick. I don't mean to imply that your mom is. my mom was also scared. Scared of my independence , of my having a life or activity that she was not the absolute center of. She would verbally humiliate me around new people in order to keep me from reaching out again and developing any sort of closeness. Enough, because I could go on and on, she had such a hold and it had nothing to do with my culture, just her power over me.

One day I decided I would never let her hear me cry over her cruelty ( I cried in the shower ect instead), then one day I decided I would not react to her taunts anymore.

This all took time, but it took all the power out of her hands. I was kind, respectful, helpful,and upbeat around her, regardless of her cruelty . Eventually, it worked.

She didn't have that power over me anymore.

I wanted desperately for a healthy relationship with her. I have finally learned that we can't force anyone to want or work for the relationship we desire.

So she passed away living the way she wanted. And although I still miss not having a mother who nurtured me, I have a clean conscience about how I treated her.

Please, if you have resources for support use them. And remember to look at yourself through our creators eyes, not your mothers. You are a beautiful person with beautiful qualities and of course flaws you can work on as well.

This is a great place for encouragement so come here often! Thinking of you, mendymayhem. :-)