Hey Ladies... A Few Personal Questions

[myownjourney 47]

Lol yeah I'd rather be smaller all together than big for the sake of being busty lol and yeah like this site really helps me understand that my questions and fears aren't as stupid as I think they are lol

[ShapeShifter 64]

I have been open about my pending surgery. When I talked with the people I love who started to react negatively, I shared with them what I carry on the inside. What they never see, because I spare them my suffering. I talked about the pain, and the shame. I think it is impossible for someone who has not walked in morbidly obese shoes to understand the emotional agony that fills their less genetically lucky loved ones. One friend told me that she saw me as all smiles and sunshine, and never knew that I was hurting on the inside. She is now completely supportive of my choice.

If you care to do that work with your friend, let yourself be vulnerable and share your truth. If she has an ounce of empathy, she will come around. If she doesn't come around, I have learned, you will always have more friends. Wishing you all the best on your journey!

[TaiDyed 59]

My best friend has known me since we were 15...we are now 43. She's seen ALL my ups and downs with weight. She knows how hard I work out 5-7 days a week. She has seen first hand my triumphs and frustrations. She is super thin and a fitness trainer. She has told me time and time again that she loves me no matter what my size, however completely understands and supports my decision. I hope your best friend is able to realize that you are doing this for you and regardless of what her opinion is about having WLS, she will support you all the same.

I wish I had had this option when I was 21. Best of luck to you!!

[Dooter 1,457]

Your name says it. It IS your OWN journey. And we understand it, so if you're getting flack for it, just come here. We'll get you back on your feet. People are scared of what they don't understand. On first sight, WLS is a scary proposition until you become educated about the hows and whys of it. You are educated about it, but they are not, so they are scared for you. I get that. It's just hard to make them understand. Most of the time if they will listen, they will eventually get it.

[myownjourney 47]

Thanks for all te comments ... I really do appreciate them all. Not too long ago I took my friend to the mall with me to find a dress so that we could go out to the club ( that's what normal people my age do, right?). We went to nearly every store in the mall and could not find a dress in my size that wasn't churchy or matronly. After doing this, she said that she had no idea that the options for girls like me were so limited. I think I'm going to bring that up the next time I talk to her.

[TracyLynn 30]

Very good post and good information in it. Thin people never understand what it is like. It is not about vanity, it is about health. The clothes in the mall is a good example too. I am tired of shopping at Lane Bryant, I love their clothes, but they are so expensive.

I want to be able to shop at normal stores, and I don't plan on being thin, chuncky and healthy is fine with me!

[myownjourney 47]

Lol I don't like having to dress like an old lady because of my size or paying 3x as much for clothes that are trendy ... Lol I know at the end of the day I'm extremely vain lol and slightly cocky ... I was talking to my friend about the surgery and telling her it was about health but she reminded me of my cockiness and I knew that I was gonna have an even bigger head

Moral of the story: wls can make you more confident but really if you are sexy an you know it then size doesn't matter

Skinniness does not equal attractiveness

[Half~of~Bri 25]

My best friend of 15 years probably weighs 120 soaking wet. She's the kinda girl who can (and does) eat tons of fast food, pizza, and junk food and still looks amazing - she doesn't even work out! She tells me all the time that she thinks I'm beautiful, she doesn't think I'm that overweight, etc. even though I've gained 140+ pounds since we've been friends. She has been completely supportive throughout this whole thing because she has seen me struggle for so long, but has been very vocal that she is scared about me having the surgery, and even a little worried if I'll still be friends with her once I'm "skinny". I asked her if she was friends with me because I was fat or because of the amazing friendship we've created! Of course we've been friends since I was skinny and now I'm not, so that made her realize how ridiculous her statement sounded. Maybe your friend is just worried about how your new lifestyle will affect your relationship. She may not understand how you feel but maybe sitting down for a talk to explain your reasoning behind it and reassuring her a little will help. Good luck.

[simply.torri 28]

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[Knee2010 54]

Using the mall was a good example to show your friend. It might also help to pass this website on to your friend. Even though she isn't getting the surgery, she can get as much knowledge as your getting from here. I have passed this site on to lots of people (both surgery interested and those who aren't). A lot of times I think those that love us just need extra reassurance that we will be OK, and the unknown is scary.

[danyelleb 386]

Girl you are 21- if anything you got time on your side. Don't worry about saggy boobies- that's what push up bras are for! Sounds like your friend is feeling a little threatened by the thought of you getting more attention. You are young- you will be making the best decision of your life!!

Seriously! Victoria's secret is my best friend. First it's so much fun being able to shop there again. I love matching bras and panties. but secondly, my tatas and tush are kickin in their bras and panties. I love it (and so does the hubby )

[Almostthere34 128]

I think your best friend is worried about the surgery. One of my good friends had a grandmother pass from gastric bypas. She was really worried about me. She kept telling me about people who died from it or who threw up all the time. This was a cousin who had the lapband. Wls is scary to those who don't know anything about it. Ask her to go with you to one of your support group meetings. She will come around. In the meantime you have us. :-)

[Izuri 428]

1. How do I shut her the hell up? She's my best friend but she'll never understand what it's like being so depressingly overweight. And 2. Does anybody have any issue with loose skin and or drooping breast that were once perky?

1. Tell her how she's making you feel. If she is a good friend she will understand that maybe there are some things that she just doesn't get. Maybe she is just afraid of losing her best friend. Maybe she's worried about the surgery. Maybe she just doesn't realize that she needs to have a filter. Either way I'd be up front but polite about it.

2. I am 25 and only a DD cup but my boobs already sag some =( It's just the unfortunate truth to life. It does not bother me that much, and I don't enjoy them being large, so if I get to goal I think I will save up for a boob job to have them look good at a decent size, like a B or C. Even if I didn't get a boob job then, I will still be happy that I'm not morbidly obese anymore.

[myownjourney 47]

Yeah it's crazy because just the other day she said that she'd support me ... I think the problem is that she thinks that me getting the surgery would prevent me from going to school in January. She lives in north carolina and I'm in California but I'm supposed to be moving out there in January and getting my surgery in December so it's cutting it close. But today I decided that I'm just not going to talk to her about it at all anymore. She thinks being tall and thin Is somehow the same experience as being morbidly obese.

And I know for a fact that if I get lower than a DD then im getting a boob job lol ... It's crazy how having big boobs has been such a big part of my life lol

[scaredoftheunknown 95]

You know it's funny because who I thought was my best friend for the past 20 + years and who has recently had WLS surgery and lost 120 lbs. in 7 months. Was telling me pretty much the same thing your friend told you. She said that I was crazy for even thinking of having the surgery. That is was the hardest thing she has ever done. But she would do it all over again. Hello?!!! Why the heck would she contradict herself? I don't know what her problem is. She has more weight to lose than I do. I have about 60 lbs. to lose but like I told her I'm doing it in hopes to put my diabetes in remission. She doesn't know what living with diabetes is. She also told my husband that I was crazy that if she lost the 120 lbs. in 7 months where was I going to lose all that weight from. She just doesn't get it.

I have made my mind up and I don't talk to her about my surgery or my appointments or anything about my health anymore.

Sometime you have make decisions in your life, don't let her discourage you.

You are young and have a full life ahead of you. You can always do something about the loose skin and the boobs. You will be at your goal weight, feeling healthy and better than ever after your surgery.

Good luck to you.