Hey Ladies... A Few Personal Questions

[myownjourney 47]

So my friend doesn't want me to get this surgery ( note, she is extremely thin and has never nor will she ever know what it's like to be obese) she thinks that if I just work out like a maniac I'll lose all the weight I need to lose... I'm over three hundred pounds at 5'10 and she tells me that I don't even look "that big". Anyway, we were talking the other day and she was asking me about how my body would look after rapid weight loss. At first, she told me that I would look aged after I get the surgery. I'm 21 and just yesterday somebody asked me if I was my 18 y/o brother's mom. Then she asked me about loose skin which is something that I always worry about in the back of my mind. Then she asked me about saggy/small boobs. I am in a size h bra right now and I love my boobs. I'm surprised that they are not already saggy which is something I'm proud of Lol. So my question is 1. How do I shut her the hell up? She's my best friend but she'll never understand what it's like being so depressingly overweight. And 2. Does anybody have any issue with loose skin and or drooping breast that were once perky? My mom says the bigger they are the harder they fall lol. I want advice on how to keep it tight and if I can't do it I would like to know some experiences with body lift surgery. Thank you

[Dooter 1,457]

Well, sweetie, here's how you're going to have to look at it: Your boobs may or may not get that bad since you are so young, but do you want big perky boobs, or do you want to be thin and healthy? My husband said that his apprehension of my getting this surgery was the saggy skin. I said "well- no problem- I can just keep it full of fat and it won't sag!" He said "uhhhh....good point." so....there might be some trade off here. That's why God gave us plastic surgeons.

[Dooter 1,457]

And how to shut your friend up? Good question. Skinny people just don't understand. She doesn't understand that once your BMI hits 40, you have very little chance of keeping the weight off without surgical intervention. The statistics are very small. :/

[myownjourney 47]

Lol it's funny you say that because I said something like that to her. Which one would I prefer? Lol I would prefer to lose the weight. And it's more about health to me, I'm 21 with issues that I shouldn't have. I'm already saving for a lift lol.

[myownjourney 47]

Yeah she really doesn't understand that. I know a couple of people who have lost 100+ lbs through diet and exercise ( they also don't want me to have the surgery) but I don't know how long they'll keep it off and they have all the resources to devote time and money solely for wl ... I spend the majority of my time in class or at work. I thought that she would be happy for me because this will drastically change my life forever.

[FishingNurse 1,210]

I am 29, and do not have saggy skin, my breasts did go from a DD to a C however. They are not saggy, they still have a little perk to them. Your age is on your side for sure! Like I always tell the newbies.... best decision I have ever made!

[Losingitforgood! 50]

Girl you are 21- if anything you got time on your side. Don't worry about saggy boobies- that's what push up bras are for! Sounds like your friend is feeling a little threatened by the thought of you getting more attention. You are young- you will be making the best decision of your life!!

[myownjourney 47]

Aww thanks... You guys are making me feel so much better!!????????

[ibehere10 163]

I could care less what anyone else thinks about my choice. My BF is very supportive as he wants me healthy and he can see that I am starting to suffer from being overweight. If she was my BF I would simply tell her that you know she cares for you but that you need to do so you can live a healthy, happy productive life from here on and that you need her total support without critizisim. I have not told my sister or my one brother yet as I know they will rag on me and truth be told it simply is none of their buisness. Good luck with your journey,

Diane

[Willow216 91]

If it was me I would say "your my best friend and I love you but I need to do what I think is best for me and my health and if you are my friend please give me your support, you are not in my shoes and probably never will be and I need you to be there for me whether you agree or not, because I would do the same for you". People who are naturally thin have no clue on the battle of obesity, to them its easy to eat, work out, etc. while for us it is a struggle and thats okay, but she should know what a friend is for and if this is what you want she should be like, I don't agree with this surgery but I'm going to be here for you and help you through it. As far as the excess skin, you are very young and most of it could more than likely snap back for you but if thats not the case, worry about it later, right now get yourself healthy and worry about all that other stuff later there is always time for tummy tucks and breast lifts, this is way too much on your plate right now. I'm a bit older than you (actually your half my age) and I had a belly before and I have lost a lot of it and I have a bit of skin, that is why I am saving my credit card for...LOL Once I lose the weight I'll charge it, it might take me 5 years to pay it back but it will be worth it.

I wish you all the Best and keep us posted!

[myownjourney 47]

Yeah for the most part I've been doing this on a need to know basis... I went for my first orientation in January and got so much negativity that I decided to not do it. And the doctors were asses there. Well after a couple of months I decided to change doctors and do it and only a few people know that I'm doing it.

[simply.torri 28]

I know how you feel. One of my friends that I really expected to support me, acted the same way. My response was: If you are not going to support me, then we will permanently remove this topic from the table, and ill keep this part of my life to myself". Simply -- and we never talked about it again.

I am still Pre-Op, so I can't offer MUCH advice about the surgery, but I did read a posting on here, written by a Personal Trainer that said to start working out before hand (not cardio, but strength training) to build muscle now, which will in turn start tightening your skin and of course muscle burns fat He even listed a website with tutorial strength-training videos (www.bodybuilding.com/exercises/). This is what I will start doing NOW and continue to do after surgery. There are exercises that will also work on your boobs

Lastly, every single person that I have seen lose weight (from exercise, surgery, diet, etc.) has looked YOUNGER afterward, so please do not let her discourage you in ANY way. You know what you need to do for your health. Stand by your decision, and cease to discuss it with her anymore. I know its hard becasue she is your best friend -- but it will not help you, and right now you need support.

[myownjourney 47]

Thanks for the workouts!!! I've been trying to find some workouts that'll keep it tight and I talked to my friend today and told her that we won't talk about it for the sake of our friendship... I'm happy I found this site because I know there are a lot of people who are going through this journey at the same time as I. It helps to not feel like I have to do it completely on my own.

[traceyc 89]

Loose skin and droopy boobs can be fixed. I think it is better to risk those then to risk all the complications from being obese, just my opinion. Everyone is different once they lose the weight and you can take steps to minimize the loose skin some. I personally never gained any boob when I gained weight so now I am not losing any. I was a 44 C at surgery and now I am a 38 D. In fact multiple people who know I had surgery have said my chest looks a lot bigger now. lol I think the rest of me is just smaller.

[simply.torri 28]

Thanks for the workouts!!! I've been trying to find some workouts that'll keep it tight and I talked to my friend today and told her that we won't talk about it for the sake of our friendship... I'm happy I found this site because I know there are a lot of people who are going through this journey at the same time as I. It helps to not feel like I have to do it completely on my own.

Yes it really does!! I am glad I found this place, it really eases my fears because there is a post or group that talks about any concern i could possibly have lol. Also hearing all the positive responses and seeing succesful people!! Im so happy!

Also im glad you stopped discussing it with her and i bet you guys will still be great friends!