Co-worker oddballs? Nightmares? Dreams come true?

[Wheetsin 714]

There is a lady in my building who bleaches her hair almost white, and draws her eyebrows on with a deep black pencil, but never gets them even. So one is down, like she's frowning, and the other is up, like she's surprised. One is a nice arch, and the other looks like a shark fin. I try not to notice when I'm talking to her, but it's so hard.

There is a guy downstairs who wears the exact same pair of pants every day. And I mean every day. Sinec he started here. 9 months ago. At first I thought - hey, maybe he just has a lot of the same pants. But then the dirt started being in the same place every day. One day he leaned against a chalk board and got a big yellow chalk imprint on his butt, and you can still make it out to this day.

I used to work with a guy, he sat right across from me, who would pull off his socks & shoes and clip his toenails at his desk. Or he'd pull out a push pin and use it to clean out from under his toenails, and whatever came out he'd throw on the floor. He'd dig in his ear, too, look at whatever he found, and flick it out into the hall. I was working one day and one of his toenail clippings landed on my keyboard and fell between the keys. We didn't get along very well to begin with, and really didn't get along after I had words with him that day.

I had a boss once who was either reading the bible or slathering on cocoa butter every time you walked into her office. She was an odd character. One Friday she just didn't show up, and no one heard a thing. That Monday they found at least a few hundred post-its with different scriptures written on them, stuck all over her office. And I mean everywhere. On her monitor, walls, chair, inside her drawers... they weren't there on Friday, and they were definitely in her handwriting. No one ever heard from her again.

One place I worked, there was a guy who was heavily involved in the Renaissance festival, but never quite got out of character, so he came to work as a wizard. Truly. He had long scraggly hair, and a matching beard. In the winter he work a hooded velvet cloak that was embelished with "jewels" (bedazzled) and used a walking "staff" (long, gnarled piece of wood) topped with "dragon eyes" (not sure what they were). BTW, all the quotes are his own words. When he spoke to you, he would refer to you as a peasant, or a madam, or a knight, or a dragon whelp (if he didn't like you), and in a bad English accent. He kept a crystal ball, geodes, vials, etc. at his desk. He wasn't around long. :couch2:

Any good characters you can share?

[piercedqt78 658]

I worked with a guy that never showered and he picked his nose. We were both dept managers so we had to work on pojects together he was horrible. I finally refused to work with him when I discovered that he was eating day old chinese food that had been stored in his desk. He was just too odd for me. I could deal with the smell and even the nose picking, but the smell of day old chinese food from a hot desk drawer was just too much for me to take. There was a rumor that he had a mail order bride, she was russian, beautiful and spoke no english. He took a 3 week vacation to Russia and came home married. What do you think? ~Mandy

[Scribby 0]

the owner of my company is whack. He is the genius but cant tie his shoes type. He is worth 47 mill yet wears the same dirty clothes everyday. On more then one occasion I have seen his balls. The last time was when he was wearing a pair of sweatpants that looked like he had squirrles living in the crotch since 1978. He looks at porn on his computer and doesnt care if you walk in, walks around farting without even acknowloging that anything happend, owns an internet dating site where he is the ONLY guy on it (gee, wonder if he gets any dates), has an aprtment in our building that he brings ugly chics too, we have had compalints about him pissing in the parking lot as well as being naked from changing his clothes, eats like a total pig but only has 4% body fat, if your eating something he wats he just takes it from you in mid bite, smells awful, went to Harvard yet has no cclue how to use the postage machine, throws tantrums and kicks and hit things like the copier...hmmm will have to think of a couple more....

[Loving-It 0]

I work with a woman who is really out of her mind. She walks around chirping like a monkey and actually is quite hostile. She has issue with everyone and is not the friendliest of people to talk to. She actually made up a lie (which she told to my boss) that we were in the bathroom, and I came out of a stall looking ill. She said she asked if I was okay and that I went off on her telling her to mind her own business and whatnot. I hadn't even seen her that day. In the years I've been here, everytime she's been nasty I've been nothing but friendly but the one time she's nice to me I go off? My boss thought it was ridiculous and blew her off, not before telling the owner what was going on. She's still here but apparently has a history of being aggressive. :couch2:

One place I worked there was a manager who would lock herself in her office. She would not answer the door, she would not answer the phone. You could tell she was in there because cigarette smoke was coming out from under the door. Several times we had to go outside and knock on the window telling her to open the damn door. :help: I quit the office not long after but I heard rumor that she had an affair with another employee, went on vacation and never came back. :heh:

In the same office we had one man call in sick on Friday, came in over the weekend to retrieve his personal items and then quit via phone on Monday. When they went into his office he had all kinds of papers that he was supposed to have done things with, purchase orders and expense reports, that he'd just stuck in a drawer. Rather than admit he didn't know what to do with them he just filed them away.

I worked with one girl who would register on all these hook up sites. She's meet guys for "lunch" in the middle of the day for nooners, and she always came back with some money. I won't say she was being paid for services but, well, er, uh...okay, she was being paid for her services. Heh-heh! :heh:

We had some guys come in from out of town and we had gotten them a rental car which they were to drive from work to their hotel and back again. They were out cruising at like 2 in the morning when they pulled into a gas station so this one guy could use the bathroom. While this guy was in the RR, the other 2 fellows bought some drugs from *cough* an undercover police officer in the gas station parking lot. They were arrested, booked and then released. The next morning they called and said they needed another rental car. We asked them what happened to the one we gave you? That's when they sort of said what happened, but the jist was the rental was in the impound. We sent the two guys home and I do believe they were fired. They were from New York. :biggrin1:

I haven't had any issues with hygiene, thankfully. :clap2:

[nursekathy2u 0]

Oh I love the wizard guy!!!!

I worked with a girl who had a BF that was a "secretive marine sniper". She came to work oneday and told us all that she had a marine escort to work everyday because of the important work her BF did for the marines.. we were like "Oh really??" and she said "yes, they don't know that I am aware of the escort but I see them everywhere I go. I never acknowledge them though" Of course we had to ask.. She says she knows they are marine escorts because of the round Marine emblem on their car. She was referring to the Marine decal stickers so many marines a family members have in their back windows!!! She truly believed it was a secret Marine escort just for her.

The same girl wanted a cubicle at work but the Boss wouldnt spring for it because he felt it wasnt necessary. The girl saved every copy paper box that came in for months and built herself her own cubicle!! The doctors let her keep it because it wasnt in a place where patients could see it.. I guess they were afraid off her "marine sniper BF"

What a freak she was.

[Loving-It 0]

The same girl wanted a cubicle at work but the Boss wouldnt spring for it because he felt it wasnt necessary. The girl saved every copy paper box that came in for months and built herself her own cubicle!!

:pound: Oh the fun you could have. Slide the boxes just ever so much closer to her desk, making her space smaller and smaller. :couch2:

[ShadyLady 0]

I just thought I worked with some screwed up people. It would be so entertaining at y'alls jobs.

[faybie 0]

I have to say ....this is a very entertaining thread.

We have an "eyebrow" lady in our office too. I don't know her personally, but the word in the office is that she is very very nice. Eight years ago, I would have blurted out some unsolicited comment, thankfully that part of my personality has been supressed.....

He is the genius but cant tie his shoes type.

Oh, and I married one of these......very trainable..... When I met my husband, he did not have soap or Shampoo in the shower, did not own deoderant or clothes detergent. I almost broke up with him the day I saw some fungus thing growing out of his ear. Mind you, this was back in my "unsolicited comment" days, so I promptly went to the store, bought everything he needed, showed up at the door and gave him a HUGE training lesson in hygiene and cleaning. Demanded that he take all of his clothes to the cleaners and hired him a maid. Threw away half (er most) of his clothes and made him go shopping for new clothes. Funny, he never questioned a word I said. He confessed he never realized he wasn't doing what he needed to do. I still have to remind him to throw away socks when they get holes in them, but other than that he cleaned up nicely. I found my diamond in the rough. =)

[Carlene 12]

Years ago I worked with a guy who talked about his fiancée ALL the time. She was a teacher, worked a second job in a downtown parking garage, they did this last weekend, they were going to do that next weekend, etc, etc, etc. One Monday morning he called in and told our boss that the fiancée had died over the weekend - suddenly, unexpectedly, just fell down dead. The autopsy report would not be available for a couple of months, but he was calling from somewhere in Oklahoma (her hometown) and would not be back for a week or so. Terrible! Tragic! Even though I did not like the guy, you had to feel sorry for him.

We wanted to send flowers but had no clue where to send them. All we knew was her name. So we called the school district, figuring they would know where/when the funeral was. No such teacher.....never heard of her. We called the bank downtown, whose parking garage she supposedly worked in part time. Not surprisingly, they had never heard of her, either. Phantom girlfriend, evidently. A total figment of this guy's imagination. Why he decided to kill her off is anyone's guess. Our boss managed to reach him via his home phone a couple of days later and we never saw the weirdo again.

More recently, I had an assistant - a tiny young woman who was maybe 4' 8" and weighed 75 pounds. She was in the process of getting a divorce from a guy who was a cross-dresser. They had been married 6 or 7 years and she had some WEIRD vacation pictures, let me tell you. That's the only time he got himself up in drag (on vacations) because they lived in a fairly small community and he was a rather prominent businessman. I'm thinking she probably got everything she wanted in the divorce, and then some.

But she was strange, too. We fired her after discovering that instead of taking our bulk mail to the post office, she was throwing it in a dumpster.