Learn To Take A Compliment Already!

[Parker's Dad 50]

I couldn't disagree more. We as a country have gone WAY overboard in political correctness & being afraid of hurting someones feelings. We've gone so far that we tell morbidly obese people "you are perfect just the way you are". That is total bull#!+! They(we) are killing themselves, that is not perfect.....far from it. We give kids trophys for just showing up. How does this prepare them for life? We have a generation of youth now that are so ilprepared to fend for themselves it's just crazy

It's just my opinion, but I think we need to have more people that are willing to speak the truth & not worry about how thin skinned other people are. candy coating stuff just allows people to live in denial even longer.

Post of the year!!

We are fat. Regardless of how we got here (not to sound insensitive or mean), we are and we are looked at differently and treated differently. The whole healthcare system thrives on it and the insurance companies raise prices and big pharm lives off of it. We don't do ourselves any favors by being blind to it. If you are overweight and happy with it then so be it but you know that there are consequences to it and no good comes from it. I have always been the fat kid. I knew it, I accepted it, and I lived with it. There were things that really bugged me about it and I know it. I struggle right now with the mother in law, who keeps my 14 month old son. She gives him candy and Cookies and crap everyday. I just kinda shake my head and bite my tongue FOR NOW as I know that he is probably headed down the same path that I have. I fully intend to be able to make this change and be what I need to be for him and to not let him end up the same way that I did and the way that so many of the rest of us have.

Sorry for the rant there but something just kinda struck a nerve for a minute and I have to post that....

[Parker's Dad 50]

I hate the fact that just because we are overweight people think they can be rude about it. Someone once stopped me in the grocery store and congratulated me on my pregnancy. When I let her know I wasn't pregnant, she then went ahead and told me what items in my cart were making me fat and that I shouldn't buy them.

You really truely have to overlook people like this. First mistake is the pregnancy comment. If you don't know, you don't open your mouth. We had this discussion at work this morning!! Secondly, after she stuck her foot in her mouth, she should have left well enough alone and turned around and walked away like a whipped pup.

Some people do not have filters. Some do but the wrong stuff still makes it's way thru.

Unfortunately.

[Parker's Dad 50]

You all are lucky if you get compliments..i have gone from a 22 to a 12 and no one here at work has said a thing!

First and foremost, a huge Congratulations on such an accomplishment!!

Secondly, those people are one of two types. They are either considerate and don't wanna open a can of worms or be rude or nosy. If not that they are just snobs and really don't give a rat's a$$. Not sure what you do or where you work, so I can't really make that determination.

I commented on three posts, I am done now.... It's just been one of those days at work! Sorry.

[mommymar 34]

I struggle right now with the mother in law' date=' who keeps my 14 month old son. She gives him candy and Cookies and crap everyday. I just kinda shake my head and bite my tongue FOR NOW as I know that he is probably headed down the same path that I have. I fully intend to be able to make this change and be what I need to be for him and to not let him end up the same way that I did and the way that so many of the rest of us have [/quote']

Why do you not say something? Have you had surgery yet? I know with my kids I felt like I couldn't tell them don't eat this, or don't drink that while I was still eating it and heavy. And I kept thinking, once I get rid of this weight I can say, "don't eat that" and they will listen because I won't be the fat person telling someone else to eat healthy. I was worried about being a hypocrite. I think if you can change this course for your child so he doesn't have to go down this path you would save him heartache.

I say this full on knowing I have problems with my in laws and if I asked them not to fed my kids something.... They would continue to do it and probably even worse! I hope that is not the relationship you have with your in laws. It sucks.

[Willow216 91]

OMG I have the same problem and I was just thinking about this very issue.. I don't know how to react when people constantly say "Wow your looking incredible" , I'm another one who is used to hiding in the background, its not that I don't appreciate it because I do but I have a problem responding to it just saying thank you all the time just sounds repititous. The good thing is eventually it will stop once the next big change happens with someone else at the office.

[mommymar 34]

I couldn't disagree more. We as a country have gone WAY overboard in political correctness & being afraid of hurting someones feelings. We've gone so far that we tell morbidly obese people "you are perfect just the way you are". That is total bull#!+! They(we) are killing themselves' date=' that is not perfect.....far from it. We give kids trophys for just showing up. How does this prepare them for life? We have a generation of youth now that are so ilprepared to fend for themselves it's just crazy

It's just my opinion, but I think we need to have more people that are willing to speak the truth & not worry about how thin skinned other people are. candy coating stuff just allows people to live in denial even longer.[/quote']

I understand where you are coming from. I admit it is easier to hear things yourself then hear it said to your child though.

I think Drs really need to educate more on the price of obesity. I never heard from any doctors about my weight unless I brought it up. And I saw many specialists, gp and internists. There is a time and a place for people to be in your face about it but like you said, it's not in a grocery store after putting your foot in your mouth :-)

[mommymar 34]

You all are lucky if you get compliments..i have gone from a 22 to a 12 and no one here at work has said a thing!

I am extremely sorry about this! It is a HUGE accomplishment. I think learning to take a compliment is better than no one saying anything. Hopefully you have lots of support outside of work!

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

Parker's Dad: I love that you are willing to be a great role model for your child! CONGRATS! Now why are you not telling your MIL not to give him sugary stuff. Let her know how you feel in a positive way by a simple conversation. You and your wife are the ones that make the decisions on what your children will eat. Be proactive for him so that MIL will not sabotage him later in life. You are his parent and you have the say in what your children will eat. It's later that he will seek those sugary treats. So this is the time, right now, today! Sorry, I so admire all your strength and courage. BTW, it's ok to be assertive.

[Parker's Dad 50]

Why do you not say something? Have you had surgery yet? I know with my kids I felt like I couldn't tell them don't eat this, or don't drink that while I was still eating it and heavy. And I kept thinking, once I get rid of this weight I can say, "don't eat that" and they will listen because I won't be the fat person telling someone else to eat healthy. I was worried about being a hypocrite. I think if you can change this course for your child so he doesn't have to go down this path you would save him heartache.

I say this full on knowing I have problems with my in laws and if I asked them not to fed my kids something.... They would continue to do it and probably even worse! I hope that is not the relationship you have with your in laws. It sucks.

Morning,

No I have not had the surgery yet. I have been researching for a bit and asking questions on here. I am gonna change my insurance at work during open enrollment this year and it will probably be mid to late spring of next year when I do it. I have to do the insurance thing to try to save a big chunk of change and I want nice weather to be able to be outside for those first few months where you really see that drop to accelerate it even more, hope that doesn't sound stupid.

As far as she goes, I almost feel like I am beating a dead horse. She knows I don't give him pop, so she gives him diet dew. I very rarely give him any sugary stuff ouside of pb and jelly or some baby Gummy fruit/vege treats. One of the things that really bugs me is she has had the band and still does this crap!! I get the response, well he is a kid and he is gonna get treats!! OMG I really just wanna beat my head into a wall sometimes with this!! With her band, diabetes, arthritis, etc... she should get the point but ?????

[Parker's Dad 50]

Parker's Dad: I love that you are willing to be a great role model for your child! CONGRATS! Now why are you not telling your MIL not to give him sugary stuff. Let her know how you feel in a positive way by a simple conversation. You and your wife are the ones that make the decisions on what your children will eat. Be proactive for him so that MIL will not sabotage him later in life. You are his parent and you have the say in what your children will eat. It's later that he will seek those sugary treats. So this is the time, right now, today! Sorry, I so admire all your strength and courage. BTW, it's ok to be assertive.

Thank you! I have tried several times and it goes in one ear and out the other. Very frustrating to put it very nicely. I just do not want to see him have to put up with all the BS that is coming. It's a dead horse, head/wall, never ending circle that I can't get to stop with her. She has band, diabetes, arthritis, etc... so she knows the issues and still... I just don't get it. He's a baby, he's gonna get treats she says. I get that. He is a baby and he will get treats but not all the stuff you give him everyday. It's driving me nuts fighting this fight.

[7carol3 212]

I'm saying this lumping myself into this category too, we need to stop the food = LOVE concept!! Now, that is easier said than done...but it needs to happen. With us with our families, America in general.

[O.T.R. sleever 3,386]

Parker's Dad,

I completely interstate where you are coming from, I had a similar problem w/one of my children's grand parents. My problem was not the food they we're allowing it was the what they were allowing my daughter to dress and wear make up in public. I'm pretty conservative & believe that little girls should look like little girls. I tried every way I could to reason with this woman & she just wouldn't listen. Then I tried demanding & I got attitude. So finally I had to go to the extreme & disallowed any communication with this grandparent & all visits to her house were banned. Believe me the first 3 months were pure hell, I was constantly hearing about "Grandparents Rights" (there are none) and even had her show up with he police demanding to see my daughter. The officer did his best to try to talk me into letting her visit, but when all was said and done, he turned to her and said "it's his daughter, we can't force him to let you see her). She also consulted an attorney to threaten me with a lawsuit, but she backed down from that one after the attorney told her that I could in turn sue her for harassment & would likely win. At the end of the day, it took about 7 months before she relented & agreed to abide by the standards that were put in place. I really did feel bad for the the period that I kept them apart, but my responsibility as a dad is first to protect my children even if it means causing them some temporary pain to do so.

[Lissa 2,631]

OTR, I have to commend you for taking a stand for your child! It's tough when it's a beloved grandparent that is ignoring your wishes, but YOU are the parent. I cut off communications between my mother and my children when they were small for similar reasons. It took my mom several years to get the message that she was not allowed to try to drive a wedge between me and my kids. Eventually, though, she got it and stopped trying to play "divide and conquer". By the time she was allowed back into their lives, my kids were old enough and smart enough to see the head games she was playing.

Dealing with other people is tough, but it is twice as hard when those people are deliberately trying to diminish you, especially family.

[msvickee 212]

This is one thread that I am struggling with! Wow the first one that somewhat has my blood boiling for several reasons.

When we gain weight people don't say "Wow, You've put on some weight!" If they did we would cry, get angry, go into a depressed state, etc.

We we loose weight people say, "Wow, you've lost weight and you look great!" And we do what? Some say thanks and move on. Some are offended? Really? I say thanks and add "and I feel great."

Then there are those who say nothing about your loss. And we are offended? Really? Perhaps some people don't know how to approach a person who has lost weight. Nevertheless, we should not have expectations about others and what they may or may not notice or say.

Focus on YOUR success. Reward YOURSELVES. Be YOUR own cheerleader. People who really matter in your lives and are concerned with your health will sound sincere and will have meaningful conversations with you about it. Furthermore, their conversations prior to your weight loss were out of concern.

People who see you almost everyday may not see your weight loss as quickly as someone who hasn't seen you in months.

Weight loss is an emotional life changing thing! It is a serious topic of discussion and many of us are sensitive about it and rightfully so.

[mommymar 34]

This is one thread that I am struggling with! Wow the first one that somewhat has my blood boiling for several reasons

The reason for my question was that I wanted ways I could be kind and sincere WHEN people noticed. I have a problem taking a compliment. I commend you that you don't. I am hoping to be better with that. Losing weight has been a battle with changing life long bad habits. It's been a hard journey and I appreciate people helping me along this path.