Bawling like a baby and don't know what to do

[beachgirl 2]

I've been banded for 7 weeks and my doctor told me I could babysit my 11 month old but just for 2 days a week since I had 2 loose stitches. My parents which are the great grandparents are pissed because they've had to help watch the baby, and she is precious.

Well, without 1 hour notice my parents took off the North Carolina for a week and made the snide remark to my daughter, "Well, guess Granny will just have to watch her the next 8 days. I have a job too. I just sit down and cried. I'm the oldest and I have 2 younger brothers that they have to support and since they dont have to help us it seems like they take everything out on me. I've had 3 surgeries counting the band in 2 years and not in the best of health myslef. I know I'm being a baby but the baby loves me the most and wouldn't even let me dress, brush my teeth, put on deoderant, anything, she would just scream. I started getting nervous and then thinking about what my parents did, I just broke down and the more I cried the more the baby cried. I called my husband at work, we owe it, and ask for his help, and after 25 years of marriage he said it's your baby, deal with it, I'm busy. You shoud have told your 'daughter no, no babysitter. I couldn't have done that she's a nurse and would have got into trouble. I just dont know what to do. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

Sorry for the vent, your my family and I didn't know who to go to, I feel like I'm off in a world all by myselfl.

Thanks for letting me vent. I've got to quit crying, I know tomorrow has to be better. Plus, all day long and it's 6pm I've had 2 french fries and that's it.

[barbara465 2]

Oh I'm so sorry. When it rains it pours ... OK let's see what we can do. First, don't eat much in your condition. You are stressed to the max so mushies or liquids. You've got to take care of yourself. Now, the responsibility for your grandaughter is her mother. I know we all want to help our children, but sometimes we can't. What are the options? Can you hire someone to help out to take some of the burden off of you? Can your daughter explore her options? What about the babies father? Can he offer some financial assistance to hire someone?

Next, for whatever reason, your parents are not going to be there. You will just have to deal with it. Your husband was probably having a bad day and took it out on you. Forgive him and look for solutions.

Here's a big hug for you. I hope it gets better, but you must not let them put this strain on you.

[gonnabethin 10]

It will be better tomorrow!! Check into hiring someone to help you for a ouple of days. You'll probably be fine just dont lift her. Sit on the floor to love on her and change her diaper. She doesn't care if you dont pick her up- let her crawl into your lap- make a game out of it. Dance and sing while your dressing, she was upset b/c you were. Put barney on tv while you are dressing and brushing teeth. You can do it- THIS is small compared to what you've already accomplished!!!:clap2: :clap2:

Good Luck-

[beachgirl 2]

Thanks guys,

I know you think I'm losing it, it's just been more that I can bare today. It seems that although I told my whole family from day one that this surgery everntually has cost almost 15,000 out of our savings and I'm as going to strictly abide by his wishes and it's like they dont even care. In one ear and out of the other.

Thanks again for your advie and I know I'll get through it I just hope I'll get through it sane. YOur right about eating, I eat one of her french friend and was stressed to the max and up it came so no food for me today. Thanks for your concern. I really needed it.

[Carlene 12]

Gonnabethin gave you great advice. There isn't much left for me to say except I feel your pain. My granddaughter lives with me and there are times when I almost wish she didn't, but at the end of the day, I know she is where she needs to be. Grandchildren are soooooooooo special. I wish I had skipped kids and just went straight to grandchildren.

[stefunny 0]

I agree... it is the mother's problem not yours. I would NEVER expect my mom to watch MY kids under these circumstances. I know you love your grandchild, but you need to take care of her grandma!

[debi717 0]

In response to Carlene's post about skipping the kids: AMEN!

If I only knew then what I know now, I would have adopted puppies. My dog is the best of the bunch.

My grandmother used to say she wouldn't give a penny for more children, but wouldn't take a million for the one's she had. I think she got it right.

Feel better, SherriJo.

Regards... Debi

[sunsett 2]

I'm confused, is it your granddaughter or your daughter?

Today is a new day. She will not die if she cries a little. When my son was a baby the Dr told me that 45 minutes was ok to cry. I never let him go that long, but I would put him in his crib and every15 minutes would stand outside the door and tell him it's ok Mommy is here. It took about 3 days for him to calm down.

I got myself sick though through it all so I can relate. How old is the baby?

Hang in there the suggestions above are all good. You just need to breath and take it easy she will be ok if she cries. You can tell the difference between I'm hurt and I want to cry cause I want attention.

Feel better, your not alone.

[KariK 0]

One word, DAYCARE. The baby would be better off at daycare than with a grandma who is physically and emotionally unable to care for her. Plus at 11 months she would love to watch other children playing and have different/new toys to occupy her. Even if you just bring her there for a couple hours it would be a nice break for both baby and you.

[CCBSTX 0]

Sorry, you are so upset? When will you be able to watch your grandchild, according to your surgeon? Tell your daughter, that she will need to find other arrangements until you can get back in action again! There is plenty of quality daycare arrangements out there.

Good luck. Shawn

[beachgirl 2]

Yes, It's my granddaughter. My husband works all day, but we own the store and I help him there when I'm not keeping her but when he gets home and I ask him for his help, I get a cussing. He never use to talk so ugly to me. It's starting to sound like marital problems but I always give into him no matter what, we're the only ones on both sides of the family who haven't divorced. I don't want that, but these cussings and telling me how worthless I am sure does hurt.

Well, on the baby, I took her to the doctor as like I said she has cried for 5 days and it's not like her. She had 2 what I thought were mosquitoe bites and 2 hours after we got there she had them everywhere. chicken pox. Now I see why she was so cranky. My daugher had took her to the St. Louis Zoo last weekend. Well at least that part is taken care of now, to get myself out of this funk. I don't even care about my weight at this moment, I am just so down, it would take a forklift to lift me up. LOL

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend,

Sherri Jo

[gonnabethin 10]

First of all you, tell your DH he may freely express his feelings and opinions AND he WILL NOT YELL OR CURSE TO DO SO. That is such a red flag for emotional abuse of a spouse!! DO NOT put up with it. Stand your ground and do not let ANYONE speak to you like that!! You are a worthwhile person and no one should be able to make you feel so bad!! Abuse is abuse whether physical, emotional, or negelect!!!!!!

If he doesnt get better you might seek medical attention for him as his hormones may have changed or he may be having transient ischemic attacks (TIA's) that can alter his personality.

Keep your head up and dont let negative thoughts invade!!

[Guest Sew N Sew]

Gads girl, I'm sooo sorry for all the baby problems, musta been the c.pox that had her cranked out! Do you think as you lose the pounds, your husband is "losing it" ???There is allota emotional stuff that can come out as one spouse shrinks! Maybe he needs weight loss counseling for his attitude!!! Things will get better...Hugs to u...Gael