Nsv

[mommymar 34]

I have been overweight since 4th grade. I always hated getting ready or dressed up because I hated the mirror. I was married 12 years ago (I was 18) and at that point I was getting dressed in jeans and at shirt, little make up and pulled my hair up. It only got worse 2 years later after I had my first child. As each kid came along I gave up something more with the first, it was make up. The second was jeans (went straight for sweats and elastic pants) and by the time the last one was here I was showering every other day and really not taking care if myself. I was never "dirty"or unkempt, I would just have a baby wipe rubdown and call it a day.

On to the good news. I am 2.5 months out, down 53lbs. Gone from a size 28 to a 20 and you know, I get up, shower, I cut my hair, put makeup on and generally take care of myself. My whole adult life I avoided myself. I find I can actually look at myself in the mirror and point out one or two things I don't "hate". I know I am a long way from being considered beautiful (lucky for me my hubby thinks I am always beautiful) but I care now. And that is something I haven't been able to say for 12 years!

Those that are pre op, keep up the hard work, it's worth it. Those that are sleeved, we should take a minute to reflect on what we have gained, maybe even write it down to pull out on those "bad" days :-)

[Shelli_d 38]

woo hoo you go girl..thanks for sharing your story..i am still pre op and sometimes i question if i deserve it..and then i read posts like this an say hell yea i am! thanks for the encouragement!

[UTGal99 327]

I have been overweight since 4th grade. I always hated getting ready or dressed up because I hated the mirror. I was married 12 years ago (I was 18) and at that point I was getting dressed in jeans and at shirt, little make up and pulled my hair up. It only got worse 2 years later after I had my first child. As each kid came along I gave up something more with the first, it was make up. The second was jeans (went straight for sweats and elastic pants) and by the time the last one was here I was showering every other day and really not taking care if myself. I was never "dirty"or unkempt, I would just have a baby wipe rubdown and call it a day.

On to the good news. I am 2.5 months out, down 53lbs. Gone from a size 28 to a 20 and you know, I get up, shower, I cut my hair, put makeup on and generally take care of myself. My whole adult life I avoided myself. I find I can actually look at myself in the mirror and point out one or two things I don't "hate". I know I am a long way from being considered beautiful (lucky for me my hubby thinks I am always beautiful) but I care now. And that is something I haven't been able to say for 12 years!

Those that are pre op, keep up the hard work, it's worth it. Those that are sleeved, we should take a minute to reflect on what we have gained, maybe even write it down to pull out on those "bad" days :-)

Great for you! I am a mother and totally sympathize with this. I feel like I don't really care how I look anymore too. I seriously have 5 of the same charcoal gray t-shirts that I wear EVERYDAY with a pair of stretch yoga pants.

I am pre-op and hoping that after surgery things will turnaround for me too! I look forward to adding color back into my wardrobe!

While I am thinking about it...being 2.5 months out what do you wish you knew going into this procedure, what is most shocking about life after the sleeve and what do you wish you could change?

Looking forward to your response.

Take care and keep up the fabulous work!

[mommymar 34]

woo hoo you go girl..thanks for sharing your story..i am still pre op and sometimes i question if i deserve it..and then i read posts like this an say hell yea i am! thanks for the encouragement!

You totally deserve this! I believe as we live life overweight we start believing we don't deserve what others have but why not? Quite frankly, I have had 3 kids, all born premature. Between the 3 kids they had a total of 13 surgeries (only 1 of the surgeries was done on a kid older than 12 months) I spent time on hospital bed rest, then as my children grew strong, I sat by their sides never let one day pass that I was not in the NICU. I have had cancer, hip surgery and a mini stroke. I earned something good! So do you! Go get it......

[mommymar 34]

UTGal99

First, I have to ask if you are from Utah? (just looking at your screen name) I ask because I live in Utah and haven't seen many Utahns on here.

What I wish I knew? I wish I knew how hard it would be to eat. It's painful when I eat. Not so painful I can't handle it, but every bite I take makes my tummy bubble (only way I can describe it) my issue with that is that I never WANT to eat. Nothing sounds good, it seems like a waste of time to eat, there is zero enjoyment out of eating. (I am not complaining, I just didn't know I would struggle to eat)

Most shocking? How quickly I have run out of clothes. Never as an adult have I been smaller than a 20. I have one pair of capri's that fit. And 3 shirts. I wish I would have been collecting clothes in smaller sizes from before the surgery. Because now I don't want to buy 18's because I don't want to stay an 18 for long.

All I wish I would have done differently is being prepared. I wish I would have been collecting recipes and trying them out. Collecting clothes and I would start finding other ways to cope with emotions instead of eating. Because the first time you want to emotional eat...... you prob haven't prepared and you are in a bad spot trying to figure out if working out, massage, talking to a friend or maybe reading will work. DON'T wait to figure that out! And then take measurements and pics. Anything to help measure progress.

Keep me updated on your progress. I am so excited for those that are working on getting this done!

[UTGal99 327]

Thanks for the response - the UT stands for University of Tennessee - sorry! I will still be your friend though...

[tonibugg 64]

For some reason your post made me cry! I can so relate to the way you felt, I work from home and most days I would just stay in my pj's! What was the point?? I too also find myself putting on make up and making a trip into town to do stuff, just get out of the house!! Please know that sharing your heart with us tonight made a difference =) Cheers to you girl!! and congrats on your journey!!!

[mommymar 34]

Thanks for the response - the UT stands for University of Tennessee - sorry! I will still be your friend though...

Ok! I will take all the friends I can get :-)

[mommymar 34]

For some reason your post made me cry! I can so relate to the way you felt' date=' I work from home and most days I would just stay in my pj's! What was the point?? I too also find myself putting on make up and making a trip into town to do stuff, just get out of the house!! Please know that sharing your heart with us tonight made a difference =) Cheers to you girl!! and congrats on your journey!!![/quote']

Guess what I did yesterday? I got my first spray tan! And got my toes done. This new way of living is amazing. You are so sweet. It's been a rough week confronting some of my demons. (WARNING I am about to go off) My husbands family just doesn't like him (it's strange but he is the only one in his family that has gotten married, had kids, got an education, got a great job, has a nice home and a happy marriage. I believe they don't feel like he "needs" them) and they don't like me because I took him "away" and so when his mom comes through town she just passes by and lies and tells us she hasn't been in UT. (even though other family and pictures of Facebook say differently) I have carried guilt around feeling like if I was a better daughter in law my husband may still have his family. I am learning to come to grips with the fact that it isn't REALLY me and I am a convenient excuse. And my husband says that WE are his family and my parents have taken him on as one if their own. It hard learning I can't fix everything! And I have lost food as my comfort but this group has really come through for me!

[UTGal99 327]

(WARNING I am about to go off) My husbands family just doesn't like him (it's strange but he is the only one in his family that has gotten married, had kids, got an education, got a great job, has a nice home and a happy marriage. I believe they don't feel like he "needs" them) and they don't like me because I took him "away" and so when his mom comes through town she just passes by and lies and tells us she hasn't been in UT. (even though other family and pictures of Facebook say differently) I have carried guilt around feeling like if I was a better daughter in law my husband may still have his family. I am learning to come to grips with the fact that it isn't REALLY me and I am a convenient excuse. And my husband says that WE are his family and my parents have taken him on as one if their own. It hard learning I can't fix everything! And I have lost food as my comfort but this group has really come through for me!

Your husband and my husband must be brothers b/c I have the SAME EXACT experience with my in-laws. I agree that the in-laws make us the convenient excuse b/c it is easier to blame someone else then to look at themselves as the problem. It has taken me years but I have accepted that we will not have a relationship with his family and it is their choice not to. I'm here anytime you want to vent about that - boy, oh boy do I REALLY understand. In-laws suck!

[tonibugg 64]

My husband still has a relationship with his family but barely so, we are def closer to my family. I just chalk it up to them being jealous. Jealous of the relationship with my family, they think that we don't struggle like they do with finances (we just suck it up and do instead of cry about it!), and they have made comments about us thinking we are better than them. All assumptions and all very hurtful. We do have a better relationship with my parents but only because of the way his treats us! I also think it's their loss!

So here's to us! To our new journey of rediscovering ourselves and learning new things along the way =) Whoever is left behind is their loss!!

[mommymar 34]

My husband still has a relationship with his family but barely so' date=' we are def closer to my family. I just chalk it up to them being jealous. Jealous of the relationship with my family, they think that we don't struggle like they do with finances (we just suck it up and do instead of cry about it!), and they have made comments about us thinking we are better than them. All assumptions and all very hurtful. We do have a better relationship with my parents but only because of the way his treats us! I also think it's their loss!

So here's to us! To our new journey of rediscovering ourselves and learning new things along the way =) Whoever is left behind is their loss!![/quote']

I was just sitting in my car talking to my husband about this and he said, I feel like I owe my parents a huge thank you (my jaw hit the floor!) He continued on to say that they have taught him exactly how he wants to treat our children when they grow up and get married. And he is grateful he doesn't have to make a mistake like this and damage our children.

My husband tends to be able to really look at things and see the good in them. I have to vent, then I can get over it. But I do hate to vent to him about it because he feels bad that I give them the time of day.

I handle this all better than I used to and look forward to doing even better. But when I spend this much time being angry and frustrated as I have this last week I try to spend a while only thinking of my blessings. I happened to be at a "count your blessings" moment while at the gym.... I pushed myself and instead of running my 2 1/2 min sprint, I ran 5 min. This body of mine is amazing. I wish I would have been treating it better the last 15 years.

[mrsjones075 40]

Thank you for this post. It made me cry as well. Only because I totally can relate to what you were feeling. I work from home & only get dressed when I absolutely have to (not nude but in sweats or pjs). I have let my hair go, rarely wear makeup, & seldom even shave my legs.

I'm glad you are finally finding yourself and enjoying life. You are an inspiration to all of us pre-sleevers! I'm extremely happy for you!