Foster Children

[flipflop 28]

So I am scheduled to have surgery on July 27th and found out today I will be getting two foster children (elementary age girls) 7 days after surgery. Just need some advice, is this going to be "do able"?

[Spatters3 315]

One week after surgery I was very tired and was spending all my thought energy on figuring out what liquid thing I could eat (since I ended up despising the Protein shakes).

Who do you have at home to help ? Could you explain what is going on in your personal life to the agency and have the girls come the following week ?

You could do it, but it won't be easy. And if you had any post-surgiical complications your spouse would have total responsibility for you and the girls.

I don't normally sound like a negative Nelly but this is a very important decision.

[MinaT 669]

7 days after surgery I still had a drain, find out if you will have a drain and for how long.

I spent 5 days in the hospital and I know some people came home in one day. I had my drain taken out day 13. I took naps daily for the first 2 weeks. I'm 49 and I have Lupus but I also lost 70 pounds pre-surgery and I had a leg up on the weight loss.

I have heard stories of women crying during dinner because they couldn't eat what everyone else is eating. Realize that your eating is going to be seriously different. From clears, full liquid, pureed, soft & regular. If you have been working on behavior modification pre-surgery that will probably be a piece of case for you, but for many people they really get depressed after surgery. Around day 9 it seems everything is much more emotional than before surgery.

I would love to be a foster mom, mys on is 22 years old and I think what you are doing is wonderful. With that being said, you will have people say to you, oh yeah, no problem I did this that and the other after surgery. No two people are alike and you have no clue how you are going to be until after surgery.

If you go into surgery with the right frame of mind and you are an upbeat and positive person, you will most likely do better, but complications do happen, people respond differently to different things. If these girls have been through a whole lot of stress prior, it could be hard on them, but if you have help for the first week they are there, and you can control your emotions when it comes to food and you don't have food mourning in front of them, you could do it.

I think being a foster mom is a wonderful thing, and I wish you the best of luck and I'm not trying to scare you, I want you to be as informed as you can be.

Again best of luck and I am looking forward to hearing good news after your surgery.

[flipflop 28]

The agency knows what is going on, they really wanted me to take them August 1! if things aren't going well after surgery, I'll call them and see if they can hold off some more. I hate for them to come at a time when I'm not at my best, but I also hate for them to be sent to a group home. Terrible timing!

[flipflop 28]

Thanks for the replies...and the honesty! Mina, the stories of people crying at the table is really what scares me! As it is now, I really wouldn't have to cook. It's just me and my husband (he can fend for himself ; ) This would really throw a wrench in that area. I'm really counting on being one of those people that aren't tempted. I really believe I'll be o.k. if I stay prepared with foods I can have on hand. I always run into trouble with my eating when I'm not prepared! I go for the quick (and unhealthy) stuff!

[KeepingMySoul 5]

We are all different, but for me, it would have been possible. A week after surgery, I was back at work with no issues. I slept a bit longer than usual. I started falling asleep around 9pm instead of 11pm. At 3 weeks post op, I was back to my normal sleep schedule.

[Back~To~Amy 307]

It good that you ate going to reevaluate after you have surgery since there is no answer to this. One person may be okay while another, at a week out, may not be. Good luck to you!

[mesaucedo 207]

Everyone is different but I had tons of energy by then. I was actually never tired after surgery at all. I would say to just prepare!

Maybe cook some meals and freeze them before hand so you can just pop them in the oven.

[kmbrlycool 214]

I was back at work in less than a week. I was in very minimal pain and was able to get along with my daily life just fine. I did not have any crying moments or sadness and there was very little that I couldn't do.

[shangefan 193]

Like a couple of other people, I was back to normal -- and actually had more energy than usual -- a week after surgery. I am now 10 days out and feel great. I went back to work Tuesday and have been very active every since the surgery. But as people noted, your experience might be different.

[flipflop 28]

Everyone is different but I had tons of energy by then. I was actually never tired after surgery at all. I would say to just prepare!

Maybe cook some meals and freeze them before hand so you can just pop them in the oven.

That is an EXCELLENT idea! Thanks!