To Tell Or Not To Tell....

[PeaceLove&Tash 27]

Ok so! I am hoping the no one finds out about my VSG. I have told my boyfriend...."mother-in-law"....mom dad and brother. I have s sister but she tends to reveal information when told not to. I want her to know but I fear she will tell others. I am hoping this site will be my safe haven where I can be me and talk about VSG where I can't talk to others. I don't want my sleeve to define who I am. I want people to say she looks great! How did you do it? Oh WLS huh anyone could do that...

Has anyone else been in my situation?

[ebonisekim 1,713]

It's tons of thread on here about this topic I posted on a few ...if u search I think u find at least five ...good luck

[AliveAgain 283]

Only my husband and one good friend (who I know is good with secrets) know. I've had to tell doctors and my personal trainer, but they might as well be strangers to not knowing anyone I know. So far, no problem. I've been able to be "honest" in that the weight loss came from better diet and exercise habits. It's not a lie, just an omission of my tool. The real test will come next week when I visit my family. I want to tell them, but just don't know that they'll understand. I was the only obese one, and a few are underweight for their height.

My biggest nag right now: Friends from high school who are close to my church and family. The couple are both obese, much more than I ever was. She's been asking me how I lost my weight, and I'll be seeing them during my visit. I so want to tell them, because I think it would do wonders for them. They are my age with a young daughter, and I'd love to help them consider ways to get healthy. But my rule is that if I tell them, I'd have to tell my family. I'd never put that burden on friends who are close to them to keep my secret.

Eating is the one time people will comment. When they see how little I eat. But I brush it off by saying that I love leftovers, I ate a big (X) meal earlier in the day, the heat sapped my appetite, etc. and they drop it.

Do what is comfortable for you. I'm the same, didn't want to handle the stereotype of "cheating" just yet. I may come clean when I'm at goal, when I can emotionally handle what comes then. Lose friends? Maybe, maybe not. Some people can really surprise you, who's supportive and who's not.

[altagirl 127]

I am not telling anyone. I am a "lightweight" and when I was throwing the idea around the negativity was unbelievable. I am really tired of advice from anyone and everyone. I had a uterine artery embolization 2 years ago (which was elective) and the comments and advice on how I should have handled things from everyone was almost too much to deal with. Whatever you decide - I will be here to let you be yourself!

[I_Sd8_em 28]

Well 2 people can keep a secret only if one is dead and the dead still tell tales. Also you've already told several people so it won't be long before your sister knows!

[MinaT 669]

My parents and husband and son know. That's all. I also had a hernia repair and adhesion removal.

It's a personal thing, some people are fine to be out about it, I would rather just keep my business my business. If I want to tell someone that's fine. It helps that I lost 30 pounds last summer and then 10 pounds a month during the 6 month pre-approval phase and then 10 pounds during the pre-op shake phase.

During that phase, I literally stayed in and worked out a lot (liquids in - liquids out) and I didn't want to be that far from home) and I didn't want to have a lot of temptation during the 14 day pre-op shake phase.

Surgery, since I had a hernia and adhesions, everyone knew about it, since I had so many surgeries in my life (including c-section, hysterectomy, several laparascopies, cysts removed and my gallbladder removed, bowel resection). Most people knew my insides were a mess.

During this phase, I still sorta am a bit reclusive, I don't do fairs or clubs or bars, or restaurants because I just went on purees and tomorrow I am suppose to start on softs.

I know a lot of people say just "be honest". I am honest that I lost 70 pounds from the day I started the program until the day I had surgery. I lost 30 pre calling the surgeon's office. I have been on a high Protein, low carb diet since November.

I have told people who notice the weight loss since surgery is that I since I have to wait to heal from surgery I am trying to do mostly shakes and Protein to speed up my metabolism until I can start working out. I was afraid to gain weight after surgery. Now that I'm exercising, and I start soft foods, I will be able to find ways to integrate myself with family & friends. I made sure I was loud and proud since November about my diet, though I think some people will see me now and it will come as a shock, since I haven't seen them in a while.

Do what you are comfortable with. There is no right or wrong answer to this, it's what feels comfortable for you!

[SimplySteff 1]

I kept it private too. Lost over 60 lbs pre-op and friends/family noticed I was working out, eating better and changing. I only told my mom, husband and oldest daughter. I have seen too many really nice people treated like lepers because they had wls. People don't invite them out, friends talked behind their back, every little hiccup in their life was blamed on the "surgery". It made me sad and really reluctant to share. I'm not sure I will always feel like keeping it from people but, for now it's what is best for me.

I'm kind of enjoying the peace I have with my new eating and exercising life. I just want to embrace it before I decide to share or not.

[CAsleeve 56]

I didn't and don't tell. It's my biz. All an individual preference.

[cantwaittolose 163]

Yes definitely a personal choice ...I have told everyone! I want to share my experience and also the support from all family and friends, even co-workers. With my job I had to tell my boss because even my time off and vacations are working vacations. I actually need real time off. I'm excited to share my experience with everyone.

[GivingItMyAll 168]

My original plan was to keep it in the family. Then one day I shared with a coworker. It just came out in conversation. I felt like I needed to tell my principal since I was taking time off from work and didn't want her to think I was a goof off. I then felt compelled to tell my grade partners and another teacher friend whom I've known for years. Now I tell people as it comes up. I don't necessarily advertise it, but I don't hide it either. I also told the moms group that I am a part of. These ladies are so super supportive and I knew I'd need all praying hands on deck for a successful surgery.

It's such a personal decision. Someone I know shared her lapband experience with me and it got the idea ticking in my mind until I was ready to take my own steps into WLS. Since sharing my journey, one of the members of my moms group has asked me for more information as she contemplates a WLS journey of her own.

Sent from my iPad using VST

[polican 32]

I wasn't going to tell anyone (except my husband-obviously) but that didn't last very long. I figured oh hell with it, the more who know the more support I'll get. If people don't like it, they can kiss my fat (soon to be smaller) butt, lol.

[Butterthebean 8,146]

I've told this story before, but basically my biggest hang up about having WLS was people finding out about it. For years this kept me from even seriously considering having surgery. I guess it just seemed like cheating....I don't really know. Then one day out of the blue a coworker told me he had WLS years ago. Apparently everyone knew but me. He wasn't trying to talk me into anything, he just wanted to tell me how he struggled with his weight for so long, but the surgery had helped him turn things around. He was very frank and matter of fact about the whole thing. Amazingly, he hadn't been ostracized by the world, or my coworkers, who can be quite narrow minded. Needless to say, I was inspired. I researched VSG and had my first Dr.s appointment within a month.

Well I have told everyone who has asked me about my weightloss that I had the surgery, and I haven't heard one negative thing. I'm sure some people have some things they'd like to say but they don't. My real friends have been nohing but supportive. I've educated more than a couple of people about the surgery that were interested. Not because they need it, but just because they didnt know much about it. The general public's knowledge of WLS apparently stopped growing in 1975. They still believe in the 5% mortality rate statistic, and wiring people's jaws shut.

Anyway, I find it very liberating to be up front about the whole thing. And I sincerely hope that someday the right person sees me being open about the whole thing and is inspired to change his life like I was.

To those of you who would rather keep it quiet, by all means do.

[ebonisekim 1,713]

I haven't had surgery yet I'm in the process but I told family and friends of my intent to have surgery ... When I do have it I think anyone who ask I'll to them because it bother me when ppl say diet and exercising high Protein low carbs is what they would tell some one .. It's misleading to a person we all have tried that and been unsuccessful and to have a person think that the way you loss weight with out extra help is unfair the person that's asking might need help ... But ppl that are just being kinda nosey I might or may not tell I don't kno I just think ppl will look at our result and think they could accomplish the same result on just those facts and it's unfair but it your choice to tell and that's just my opinion .. Good luck everyone

[kimbernada 190]

I didn't want to tell anyone. However I did tell my parents and got the reaction I was expecting from my mom. (Not positive.) My husband told his parents and they were thrilled and said they supported me 100%. I emailed both sets of parents a two-page PDF document that talks about the surgery and has a diagram. My mother-in-law even went online to find out more information. My best friend was the first person I told. I also told one of my teammates and another co-worker. It's funny, the "other" coworker just said "Oh that's great!" and never brought it up again - which was really nice. I mean, I don't see her that often at work, but she's my Close To My Heart consultant so I go to her house once a month for stamp club. (To me, she just filed it away like someone would do if you said that you were getting a hysterectomy.... you know, it's a surgery and then you go on. So this is a good reaction.) My teammate knows that I have told the rest of our team yet, so she instant messages her support to me (how many days, how's the pre-op diet going, etc.)

I have wanted to tell the rest of my teammates but we haven't all been together for awhile. I think we are all in the office tomorrow and we have a team meeting at 8:30, so I'm thinking I might tell them all then. (My team is like family, so I should probably tell them that I'll be gone the next two weeks.)

[aznurse4u 17]

I wasn't going to tell anyone (except my husband-obviously) but that didn't last very long. I figured oh hell with it' date=' the more who know the more support I'll get. If people don't like it, they can kiss my fat (soon to be smaller) butt, lol.[/quote']

I've been up in the air about to tell or not to tell. Part of me wants to be open so that I may set the example for those that would considerate WLS. For those that want to put in their 2 cents and be judgmental and negative.... They can shove it!