Liliana Arleen 173 Posted July 24, 2012 Please remember to use proper language on this topic . According to the forum rules,inappropriate language is not permitted on this forum. Thanks. 1 MamaMelly reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iggychic 1,405 Posted July 24, 2012 I'm sorry...what on earth was that bad?!? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouiseC 1,031 Posted July 24, 2012 Make family gatherings about family instead of about food. Sent from my iPad using VST Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ctaylor86 13 Posted July 24, 2012 No one is perfect and I agree that sometimes the tone of some can come across as judgmental. Life post sleeve isn't easy for everyone. I know there things that should be said, but it's just how you say it. Some of us had a harder time transitioning than others. I dont want to risk saying something that would make anyone feel worst than they probably already do. This site has been mostly about support and encouragement for me and that's what I like about it. I know that we can all do this, let's keep our eyes on the prize. Best wishes to you all. 1 New1 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Catracks 865 Posted July 24, 2012 No one is perfect and I agree that sometimes the tone of some can come across as judgmental. Life post sleeve isn't easy for everyone. I know there things that should be said, but it's just how you say it. Some of us had a harder time transitioning than others. I dont want to risk saying something that would make anyone feel worst than they probably already do. This site has been mostly about support and encouragement for me and that's what I like about it. I know that we can all do this, let's keep our eyes on the prize. Best wishes to you all. "Judgmental" seems to be the new buzz word for saying something someone does not want to hear. One shouldn't feel all warm and fuzzy about something they shouldn't have done. That's what keeps you from doing it again. I'll take that risk. I take those with my daughter and have been her whole life. Like the time she got a speeding ticket and was upset. I certainly didn't pat her hand and make her feel good about it. What is it with having to feel good about everything? 2 thenerd and PEvette reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ctaylor86 13 Posted July 24, 2012 "Judgmental" seems to be the new buzz word for saying something someone does not want to hear. One shouldn't feel all warm and fuzzy about something they shouldn't have done. That's what keeps you from doing it again. I'll take that risk. I take those with my daughter and have been her whole life. Like the time she got a speeding ticket and was upset. I certainly didn't pat her hand and make her feel good about it. What is it with having to feel good about everything? Lol...you seem pretty worked up as if I called you judgmental personally. And totally disagree that judgmental is synanomous with something that one doesn't want to hear. If you read my post closely, I said there are things that needs to be said, unfortunately some people lack the ability to do so constructively without coming off as judgmental. Also, comparing your child getting a speeding ticket to us dealing with our transitions post sleeve just seems a bit ridiculous. You can speak to your child however you please because that's your child. But when your speaking to another adult, choose what you say wisely. Forgive me that I'm worried about the emotional aspect of judging and criticizing someone for making a mistake as well as the physical consequences from those mistakes. As I said, for the most part, people are supportive on here, and for that I'm thankful. 1 Mommy2three reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PEvette 297 Posted July 24, 2012 My gosh, let's get over it...if te woman wanted her feelings protected, she should've ate the cake and pet it to herself....but instead she posted it on here....now if she was looking for help she needed to put that in her post, otherwise people will say what they say and caution her to not do it again while she is so early post op, like I did, if you don't like what I said, so what ..we are all adults, get over yourselves and quit defending another adult, she has a keyboard and can fend for herself.... Get over it and move on... Oh, there were no curse words in this posting.... 1 MinaT reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ctaylor86 13 Posted July 24, 2012 One thing we can all agree as adults is that we are all entitled to our opinions, so who wants to be judgmental can do that, and who wants to call those ppl judgemental can do that and those who doesn't care either way and feels like we need to get over ourselves is prob right. Lol. 1 Sleeved&Hopeful reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peacequeen 434 Posted July 24, 2012 My gosh, let's get over it...if te woman wanted her feelings protected, she should've ate the cake and pet it to herself....but instead she posted it on here....now if she was looking for help she needed to put that in her post, otherwise people will say what they say and caution her to not do it again while she is so early post op, like I did, if you don't like what I said, so what ..we are all adults, get over yourselves and quit defending another adult, she has a keyboard and can fend for herself.... Get over it and move on... Oh, there were no curse words in this posting.... I agree..movin on. But there were curse words,,apparently admin. removed that post...just sayin Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Catracks 865 Posted July 24, 2012 One thing we can all agree as adults is that we are all entitled to our opinions, so who wants to be judgmental can do that, and who wants to call those ppl judgemental can do that and those who doesn't care either way and feels like we need to get over ourselves is prob right. Lol. Yeah. You're right. It's a trigger thing with me when someone says something and the inevitable "Stop Judging" response comes. People have different ways of supporting people. I think it's up to the person who asks the question, which one they should take to heart and act on. Opinion only: People should not bother getting hurt over what veritable strangers post on a forum. If you don't like the tone of the advice or the advice, then don't take it. As for myself, I need to "get over myself" and stop replying ad nauseam about whether "tough love" or "kid gloves" is the best way to support a person. I do think my daughter and her ticket was a good analogy though Okay, from here on out -- I'll see how I do. Call me on it if you care to :-) 4 titania1215, MinaT, peacequeen and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ctaylor86 13 Posted July 24, 2012 Yeah. You're right. It's a trigger thing with me when someone says something and the inevitable "Stop Judging" response comes. People have different ways of supporting people. I think it's up to the person who asks the question' date=' which one they should take to heart and act on. Opinion only: People should not bother getting hurt over what veritable strangers post on a forum. If you don't like the tone of the advice or the advice, then don't take it. As for myself, I need to "get over myself" and stop replying ad nauseam about whether "tough love" or "kid gloves" is the best way to support a person. I do think my daughter and her ticket was a good analogy though Okay, from here on out -- I'll see how I do. Call me on it if you care to :-)[/quote'] I've said what I needed to. Thought that was pretty clear with my last post. I guess not!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Catracks 865 Posted July 24, 2012 I've said what I needed to. Thought that was pretty clear with my last post. I guess not!!! Now I'm bewildered. I just agreed with you. 1 MinaT reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlebits 154 Posted July 26, 2012 I didn't get a leak from something I ate but I had one and I can tell you' date=' you don't want one. Correct your mistake sweetie and stay on the path you chose...take charge,,you can do it!! Good luck![/quote'] Now this is GOOD nonjudgmental advice! Littlebits 1 MinaT reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sleeved&Hopeful 182 Posted July 26, 2012 I understand all that its the way people come at people like "I did/do it why can't you" i'm not saying everyone is judging cuz I know there are good intentions. But maybe you haven't experienced these folks like I have. there is a rude way and a respectful way to put things. Hey sleevenoob, the posters here are tame and easy going compared to the VSG posters on Obesityhelp LOL. They would have been way worse. I do love obesityhelp though and don't mind the hardcore mindset, but I do think sometimes they are a little too rough on the newbies LOL. I just can't be that way personally because it's just not the way I am. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SleeveNoob 95 Posted July 26, 2012 Hey sleevenoob' date=' the posters here are tame and easy going compared to the VSG posters on Obesityhelp LOL. They would have been way worse. I do love obesityhelp though and don't mind the hardcore mindset, but I do think sometimes they are a little too rough on the newbies LOL. I just can't be that way personally.[/quote'] Lol I understand where everyone is coming from. But idk I guess I got to defensive for her only cuz i've been there. There are a few people who gave their advice and warnings kindly and respectfully. Everyone is different and its hard to tell someones dialect through messages I may have misunderstood peoples efforts but I still stick to "respectfully" giving advice Sent from my DROID BIONIC using VST 2 New1 and Sleeved&Hopeful reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites