Why Are My "supporters" Questioning My Choice.....? (Long)

[charmichelle 15]

I recently got my surgery date and let only my closest friends and family know. My mom knows the struggle with being diabetic (she's NEVER weighed more than 162) but she sems really leary. My close friend said "its just not natual" (like being obese is). And my sister (always thin) said she didnt expect it to be so soon and she has to find a new eating partner. My bff (who has had lap band....FAIL) is the only really supportive person b/c she is planning for the rny. BTW..... my boyfriend thinks im having gallbladder surgery. He's super fit and i just couldnt tell him b/c he's super fit never been fat and believes the gym solves everything.

Any advice??

[SexySlim 107]

Definitely find some new supporters. You will find out who your real friends are after your surgery. I had a really close friend that said she's against me having the surgery but will support me. She is big too and I'm sure she didn't want to be the fat friend. Well we are still friends and she's actually losing weight on her own now so maybe I influenced her. You will see who is real during your journey. Good luck.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

BTW..... my boyfriend thinks im having gallbladder surgery.

charmichelle

sorry you are having promblems with you family and friends not approving your WLS.

if you choose not to tell certain people about the WLS thats fine for you too (i didn't tell most people either)

But - IMO i wouldn't lie about having the surgery either - saying i am going to have gall bladder sugery - the truth will eventually come out, or you just might feel guilty about saying something that is not true.

people like your boyfriend might not appreciate the story you fabricated. this is just IMO

good luck on your pending WLS

kathy

[Silly Phylly 20]

I have not been sleeved yet, but am determined. Folks are gonna talk cause that is what they do! This is for us! Lets do it girl! They will change their tune when they see you happy and healthy. Otherwise, they may just be concerned about complications, which seem to be very few when you follow protocol. Or, they may really love you for who you are! Thats great! But, we got to love us too! I am ready to be healthy and energetic so I can enjoy living for once!

[charmichelle 15]

I do plan to tell him but not right now.

[charmichelle 15]

I have not been sleeved yet' date=' but am determined. Folks are gonna talk cause that is what they do! This is for us! Lets do it girl! They will change their tune when they see you happy and healthy. Otherwise, they may just be concerned about complications, which seem to be very few when you follow protocol. Or, they may really love you for who you are! Thats great! But, we got to love us too! I am ready to be healthy and energetic so I can enjoy living for once! [/quote']

AMEN TO THAT!! I know they are concerned but i wouldve imagined just a little more support. Or maybe im just going off what i would do.

[SV2 57]

I do plan to tell him but not right now.

I couldn't imagine not telling my wife something like this, even if I thought she would be critical.

The longer you lie, the worse it'll be, I would think.

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[funkeechiggen 135]

I couldn't imagine not telling my wife something like this, even if I thought she would be critical.

The longer you lie, the worse it'll be, I would think.

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I agree... Think of it this way: If the roles were reversed and your boyfriend had the surgery, didn't tell you about it and you found out later, how would it make you feel? Personally, I would wonder what else they were keeping a secret from me and would have serious trust issues going forward in the relationship!

I wouldn't want to be in a relationship that isn't built on trust...

[Silly Phylly 20]

You're a good man "funkeechiggen"! I have a husband very much like "gym dude",except he is a fulltime firefighter. He has not been much support concerning my weight until now. He thinks you just eat small portions and hop on that treadmill and go work in the yard and problem solved. Easy for him! This is me! The one who dreams about food! My hunger pangs are so bad. I love to cook and am darn good at it. It is my art and pleasure! The only way things are going to change for me is to take away foods power over me! Gastric sleeve is my answer! This way I can still enjoy my art, but hopefully I will know what full is and will know when to stop. I sort of expected hubby to think I had lost my marbles and was just going to give me the put the fork down and hop the treadmill spill again, but he didn't. I think he is really excited that he really may get his "little" sexy wife back regardless of how she achieves it. Once I do this, I know I am going to have to step on that treadmill and listen to his fitness tips. At least maybe I will be able to! Yep, Charmichelle, tell him girl! Remind him that womens bodies and mens bodies are two different things. Some of us ladies have a lot of estrogen on board and it is stored in fat. Besides, diabetes! This is your cure! If he loves you he will support you and cheer you on! But both of us better be ready to keep up with these dudes after, or I am sure we will hear about it!

[charmichelle 15]

You're a good man "funkeechiggen"! I have a husband very much like "gym dude"' date='except he is a fulltime firefighter. He has not been much support concerning my weight until now. He thinks you just eat small portions and hop on that treadmill and go work in the yard and problem solved. Easy for him! This is me! The one who dreams about food! My hunger pangs are so bad. I love to cook and am darn good at it. It is my art and pleasure! The only way things are going to change for me is to take away foods power over me! Gastric sleeve is my answer! This way I can still enjoy my art, but hopefully I will know what full is and will know when to stop. I sort of expected hubby to think I had lost my marbles and was just going to give me the put the fork down and hop the treadmill spill again, but he didn't. I think he is really excited that he really may get his "little" sexy wife back regardless of how she achieves it. Once I do this, I know I am going to have to step on that treadmill and listen to his fitness tips. At least maybe I will be able to! Yep, Charmichelle, tell him girl! Remind him that womens bodies and mens bodies are two different things. Some of us ladies have a lot of estrogen on board and it is stored in fat. Besides, diabetes! This is your cure! If he loves you he will support you and cheer you on! But both of us better be ready to keep up with these dudes after, or I am sure we will hear about it![/quote']

Im sure he will have some worries and criticisms. He's seen me go thru the losses and gains so maybe it wont be that bad to tell him........ Of course im going to have to tell him soon b/c i will be eating much less and not cooking as much if at all.

[jillw8 22]

I know exactly what you are going through. My sister was very close to me and was against my surgery from day 1. I explained to her why I was doing it (health, happiness, future children, etc) but she still didn't understand. She felt it was the easy way out. Even though she had seen me struggle and pay for diets, personal trainers, and more. I did my best to explain myself and before surgery she never really got it. 6 months after surgery and I had started training for relay marathon and had lost 70lbs. I received a random text from her apologizing for her doubt and congratulating on my new life and dedication.

My point is this: you do this for you and your non supporters will likely become your supporters. If not, it's okay. This is for you Jill

[SV2 57]

I know exactly what you are going through. My sister was very close to me and was against my surgery from day 1. I explained to her why I was doing it (health' date=' happiness, future children, etc) but she still didn't understand. She felt it was the easy way out. Even though she had seen me struggle and pay for diets, personal trainers, and more. I did my best to explain myself and before surgery she never really got it. 6 months after surgery and I had started training for relay marathon and had lost 70lbs. I received a random text from her apologizing for her doubt and congratulating on my new life and dedication.

My point is this: you do this for you and your non supporters will likely become your supporters. If not, it's okay. This is for you Jill[/quote']

I never understood why it was bad to "take the easy way out" (even though it's not the easy way out)! Even if it were the easy way out, why not take it?

Whenever I hear someone say that, I ask them how they get to work. They all drive. Then I ask them why they took the easy way out instead of walking. Shuts them up on the spot.

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[iggychic 1,405]

My doc (when I was doing ivf) used to say to women who claimed women who used drugs during child birth were taking the easy way out. She said that the aztechs have been proven to have preformed major surgery, including heart surgery without the use of modern antibiotics and anesthesia. She suggested that if they needed a bypass etc, that they do so not taking the easy way out....put their money where their mouth is . She said she once handed a future dad a clam shell (tool for cutting) to illustrate the point. Again, it shuts them right up lol.