Roll Call

[marsha 0]

Hi Everyone,

I'm Marsha from South Florida. I'm a RN, I'm 40 years old, married, I have a 15 year old son and a 13 year old daughter. Just one pet, a rabbit named Tiger! (she's getting old, we've had her for 8 years now)!

I'm down 30 pounds in 3 months (I've been stuck for the last 3 weeks) and I'm considering going for another fill. I was in a size 22 prior to banding and am now down to an 18! YEAH! I love my band!

[shellyj 5]

hi everybody!

michelle from tennessee. i am a graphic designer and have a part time job as a surprise lady. thats at home parties for women. not quite like tupperware!! i have 3 dogs (the last was a stray new hope, i'm a sucker too) and i live in the country. i have been in a relationship for the past 6 years but it is coming to an end.

1 started researching WLS june 03 at 350 pounds

i was banded 8-18-03 at 325

today i weigh 237 for a total loss of 113!!!!

i absolutley LOVE my band, i do a low carb diet along with the restrictiveness of the band.

michelle

[donali 57]

i have been in a relationship for the past 6 years but it is coming to an end.

Michelle!!!! :( No! What happened? You guys were soulmates...

I am so sorry...

[shellyj 5]

donali,

well i'll preface this by saying my father is an alcoholic and has drank my entire life except 3 years. i'm 27

i told my bf in the begining i didnt have a problem with casual drinking but i could never be with someone who drank more than socially. as we have stayed together he has drank more and more and i find that i have to bitch at him to not drink more than 3 nights a week. its not something i am willing to live with. i dont feel like i should have to MAKE someone do anything. he of course assures me things will change, one last chance...yada yada. i have heard that before from my father and now him. the past is a good predicter of the future and i dont want to waste anymore time.

i do truly love him but in the words of tina turner 'whats love got to do with it' you can love someone till the cows come home but if they arent good for you then you arent loving yourself by settling.

its been a tough couple of months i am hoping he'll be out by august. i have been telling him he needs to find a place to go the past month but he isnt really listening. i dont know if i'll have to move too in order to make him see its OVER!

michelle

[donali 57]

My heart goes out to you. My sis is in the same boat, so I know how hard it is.

Hang in there, girl...

[Guest bee_52]

This is my first contact and I'm a bit nervous about sharing. I've picked up bits and pieces about everyone because I read your posts every single day, but I'm really enjoying reading the mini-biographies, so thanks to whoever started the roll call thread.

My name is Carol, I'm 51. I live in a small town (about 2800 pop.) called Lakeview in southeastern Oregon, on the edge of what is called the Oregon Desert or the Sagebrush Curtain.

I've lived here all my life except for a few years and was married for 23 years to my jr. high sweetheart and we have 3 children (2 sons, 23 and 25, and a daughter, 21) and now there are 2 grandsons. But, I have been divorced for about 10 yrs. now and live alone--except for furry friends. I have 2 ferrets and 2 cats.

I'm scheduled for surgery on June 29 in Klamath Falls, the nearest "big" city of about 20,000, which is 100 miles from Lakeview. My surgeon is Dr. Raul Mirande.

I appreciate this forum. I've learned so much information that is invaluable--to help me prepare for this new phase of my life. Thanks to you all.

[shellyj 5]

My heart goes out to you. My sis is in the same boat, so I know how hard it is.

thanks donali

no advice? i had hoped for some input

[donali 57]

no advice? i had hoped for some input

I can't believe anyone has the stomach for even one more little word from me in the emotional advice category. lol

I wish I did have some good advice, but I think you said it all. And when you're dealing with alcoholism, it is totally out of your hands, just like our dealing with our weight was totally out of anybody else's hands.

I have an Aunt who chose to go to Al-Anon, and stayed with her husband. She said that she learned that she was not responsible for his behaviour. I admire that, but at the same time, I don't really understand why someone would choose to stay in that situation (he could be very mean when drunk). But it worked for her, and after the kids grew up and moved away he got sober. That's a really long time to wait for improvement, in my opinion.

I realize I wasn't the one in love with him, but... I don't think I would have done it. There are other things I'd put up with that others wouldn't, but I've had my fill of mean people. But again, it wasn't me - who knows what I would have done in the same situation. I personally think I'd do what you're doing instead, as painful as that must be.

We all have our limits, and our requirements for happiness. I think it's good to be open to other possibilities, but at the same time we have the right to live our lives, and make of our lives what we choose. Taking responsible steps towards personal happiness requires no excuses or apologies.

***hugs***

[shellyj 5]

Taking responsible steps towards personal happiness requires no excuses or apologies

thanks donali! i knew i could count on you!

steve really has been my best friend and luckily he's not a mean drunk but i HATE that cockeyed look he has when he's been drinking. it has been really hard because when i think about not doing little things that we do together it breaks my heart.

when i look at where i would be long term its not happy. plain and simple i will never be happy with someone who has a drinking problem. it kills me that i tried to overlook it or work through it for so long. i knew nothing would change. its the co-dependant in me i guess. i am working on it though!

again donali thanks! i needed to hear what you said. i havent gotten much support from others when i tell them what i am doing. its AMAZING what people are willing to put up with. my mother is still married to my father for going on 30 years and she still gets mad about his drinking.

michelle

[Alexandra 55]

Michele, you and I have a LOT in common. My first marriage was an exercise in co-dependency, something I was really good at as the daughter of an alcoholic. When I was 30 I walked out and it was the single best thing I could have done for myself and my future.

I'd be happy to commiserate with you in private if you need any support. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. You are a stong, strong woman and deserve to take steps for your happiness. You owe him nothing and yourself everything.

Lots of cyber-hugs from me to you, sweetie. It's a tough road but one you'll be glad you traveled someday.

[donali 57]

Michelle,

You're welcome.

And Kudos to you, Alex. You guys are amazing women.

***hugs*** again...

[shellyj 5]

thanks alex

reading your post made me teary eyed. i am going into a meeting now but i may take you up on it.

it does feel good to let all this out. i have been dealing with it by myself for a long time.

gotta go for now.

thanks for the hugs i need them!

[La_madam 20]

Hello Everyone...

My name is Michelle , I'm 38 years old. Married 12 years, mother of 3 boys ages 16,12,10

2 dogs & 1 cat

I live In Mission VIejo California

[Bright 9]

I was so sorry to read what you're going through, my mother was an alcoholic and died as a direct result of abusing alcohol - I find it so difficult dealing with people who even mildly change in personality (even just becoming "merry") after a drink or two.... Even when my husband drinks I get very upset if he says anything sentimental to me as I feel it's just the "drink talking" - the whole thing is just so mind-bending - makes you trust no one. I really admire you for taking such an enormous step....You too Alexandra....echoing Donali, you guys are amazing....

About me: 34 living in (gorgeous) Dublin, Ireland - with my husband for fifteen years, we have two brilliantly intelligent and fabulous sons (not that I'm biased!) aged 14 and 10. We have two cats Smudge and Pinky and now three kittens Fudge, Honey and Tiger! I worked with IBM as a Technical Support Agent Serving Northern America (yup, if you had a problem with your IBM pc, and you rang the free toll number, you got me in Ireland! Crazy huh?). I stopped working about 5 years ago and now lounge about the house....I mean, I work in the home taking care of the children..... I was banded in Paris, France on 28th Oct 2003 and have lost about 61lbs since then - I haven't lost much in the last 8 weeks as I have been snacking on Cookies too much.... I have a 9cc Inamed band which was filled with 4cc during surgery - haven't had a fill yet...probably could do with one.... Love love love my band - it has given me a whole new lease of light and the future feels so bright....

[Alexandra 55]

I find it so difficult dealing with people who even mildly change in personality (even just becoming "merry") after a drink or two....

I totally know what you mean, Bright. In my line of work there is a lot of shmoozing at industry functions, and I'm always hearing the "day after" stories. Everyone thinks these stories are so funny, and even laugh about their own antics at this or that convention. But I find the whole thing utterly distasteful, and it really makes me uncomfortable.

Part of me wishes I didn't feel this way--they do seem to be having fun, and a lot of bonding goes on at those functions, which can really help in business. But then I remember the evil effects alcohol had in my life and I'm thankful to be rid of it. I'm thankful I was able to stop my own over-drinking before having serious problems, and thankful that my children will grow up in a household uncorrupted by alcohol. It's a better life without booze.